Didnt get the shift at a wedding

JimmysCar wrote: »

Put on my best suit, had the closest shave ever, washed my balls (used some special pube conditioner), clipped my nails, put on my pointiest shoes, even praticed my best dance moves before. Didn't even get meself a heifer. Nothing. Gave it everything I had on the dancefloor. Sure I was the pick of the litter. No idea what I did wrong. Ended up in bed all alone in the hotel. What could have gone wrong?

Your obviously an exceptionally unattractive dude if after all that effort you still didn't pull. Try putting a brown paper bag over you head in addition to all that effort next time and I'm sure you'll do a bit better.

Or are you one of these simple dudes that thinks your face has nothing to do with it. If it's a heifer your after then must look like a bull, but it's seems you don't cut the cheese in that department. It's a bit difficult to be that ugly, it's no wonder your bemused.

Did you tell any girl you met that you had conditioned your pubes? Not sure that is the best chat up line ever - unless you were in a brothel.

You did it all wrong OP. Always ask yourself in these situations, what would James Bond do? lol

You gotta stand in the corner, lookin a bit "dangerous"...

Every now and then, give your phone a glance. Go outside, perhaps even make a phone call or two...

You want to give people the general impression that you are important and this particular function is a bit of an inconvenience to you and your important life... A slight demeanour of boredom. (Of course it helps if you actually are important, then there's no need to fake it) :P

Catch the eye of someone you fancy. But then quickly look away... If you're lucky and not a total minger, they might find you intriguing and decide to investigate further.

Most of us need confirmation and reassurance that we are attractive to other people. By acting bored, slightly disinterested and only giving fleeting subtle glances, you are introducing ambiguity...

A person's naturally inquisitive mind will often compel them to clear up this ambiguity. (Even if they're not sure whether they like you, they still may subconsciously want the reassurance and ego boost of knowing they are attractive)

The longer you can keep that ambiguity going, the better chance you have. Of course it all hinges on whether you can successfully hide your desperation at close quarters...

If the pointy shoes tell me anything, it's that you are probably dressed a bit like a peacock... So from a visual standpoint, this advice might be fairly useless for you! :P

It's best to let the ladies do the fancy dressing... As a man, it's not wise to look like you're attempting to compete with them in that dept. (just my opinion)