Christmas

GeneralVanilla · 01-10-2016 02:42AM

Nope OP. Not alone.

I dont like it to a point of near seriousness.

3 months of the same sht over and over is genuinely fatiguing. Its not ok.

LordSutch · 01-10-2016 05:02AM

This Christmas thread was started in September, so I must remember to start a Halloween thread in July next year, four months before the event itself ...

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 01-10-2016 07:57AM

MadDog76 wrote: »

I find it odd that people blame the misery in their lives on Christmas .......... if you're depressed, lonely, grieving etc. then you're depressed, lonely and grieving all year round .......... I've lost people close to me and I miss them, I don't miss them any less in July than I do in December .......... Christmas is great and that's that, I feel sorry for you if you don't feel the same but whatever.

I'm sorry but I call b*lls hit on this. Of course I miss my parents (my dad especially) all year round, but it's worse at Xmas. When everyone else is complaining that their family has driven them demented, or when everyone makes an effort tO be together and you know everyone else is sitting down with people that love them and thinking about how that was your Xmas too for so many years. I wouldn't say I'm lonely in general. I wouldn't say I'm depressed. Not even at my absolute worst feeling, i don't think I was ever depressed. But at Christmas, when everyone else is making plans with their family, i have two choices. Join someone else's family, and feel like I'm gatecrashing and infringing on the happiest day of the year for them, and remembering what my own last real Xmas was like, and missing my family even more because im surrounded by what I don't have, or, my second choice is tell my partner I am spending Xmas with my brother, tell my brother I'm spending Xmas with my partner, and spend it on my own drinking wine and not even bothering to get dressed, watching non Xmas things on TV so that I can try make it feel like it's just another day.

It's an incredibly lonely time of year for some people, and i don't think it's fair to judge them as being miserable. When everything that you LOVE about Christmas gets ripped right out from underneath you, then come back to me and we'll finish our chat about how amazing it still is.

meeeeh · 01-10-2016 08:52AM

I have no sad memories and enjoy Christmas but not the start of the madness in September. It's just too much.

But it is also the type of holiday that won't be enjoyed by all. Just because some don't subscribe to saccharin filled Hollywood version it doesn't mean their feelings are any less valid. Or wrong.

boardsuser1 · 01-10-2016 08:56AM

The Raptor wrote: »

I have seen the Christmas boxes of sweets and biscuits in the shop.

This is so stupid. It's not even halloween yet. I hate Christmas so much.

I hate the Christmas party. I was told about it in August, what was I meant to say, I'm busy that night in the middle of December, four months in advance. But i don't want to go.

The lead up to Christmas lasts months. Christmas eve and everyone is in the shops as if it's the last day on earth and they're gonna run out of food.

Just f off with Christmas boxes of sweets. What would you be doing in September with them. Stocking up on boxes of shyte where you always have way more at Christmas than you usually do.

Then the jingle bells songs, day and night on the radio.

Am i the only one who hates Christmas.

No no i hate it as well.

Sam Kade · 01-10-2016 09:23AM

The Raptor wrote: »

I have seen the Christmas boxes of sweets and biscuits in the shop.

This is so stupid. It's not even halloween yet. I hate Christmas so much.

I hate the Christmas party. I was told about it in August, what was I meant to say, I'm busy that night in the middle of December, four months in advance. But i don't want to go.

The lead up to Christmas lasts months. Christmas eve and everyone is in the shops as if it's the last day on earth and they're gonna run out of food.

Just f off with Christmas boxes of sweets. What would you be doing in September with them. Stocking up on boxes of shyte where you always have way more at Christmas than you usually do.

Then the jingle bells songs, day and night on the radio.

Am i the only one who hates Christmas.

Is it only this year you noticed?

MadDog76 · 01-10-2016 11:34AM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I'm sorry but I call b*lls hit on this. Of course I miss my parents (my dad especially) all year round, but it's worse at Xmas. When everyone else is complaining that their family has driven them demented, or when everyone makes an effort tO be together and you know everyone else is sitting down with people that love them and thinking about how that was your Xmas too for so many years. I wouldn't say I'm lonely in general. I wouldn't say I'm depressed. Not even at my absolute worst feeling, i don't think I was ever depressed. But at Christmas, when everyone else is making plans with their family, i have two choices. Join someone else's family, and feel like I'm gatecrashing and infringing on the happiest day of the year for them, and remembering what my own last real Xmas was like, and missing my family even more because im surrounded by what I don't have, or, my second choice is tell my partner I am spending Xmas with my brother, tell my brother I'm spending Xmas with my partner, and spend it on my own drinking wine and not even bothering to get dressed, watching non Xmas things on TV so that I can try make it feel like it's just another day.

It's an incredibly lonely time of year for some people, and i don't think it's fair to judge them as being miserable. When everything that you LOVE about Christmas gets ripped right out from underneath you, then come back to me and we'll finish our chat about how amazing it still is.

You're limiting your choices Lexie .......... you could spend Christmas with your brother, partner etc. and be thankful for what you do have in your life .......... but you choose to drink alone and wallow in your own misery thinking about what you don't have anymore .......... we all experience loss Lexie and there's people a lot worse off than you.

The Raptor · 01-10-2016 12:01PM

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Well Christmas is magical for the vast majority of people. And it was for me once too.

When Dad died, and then my younger sister, always two empty places at the Christmas Dinner.

Was never the same since.

We tried, we still try. And there is all the usual crap. But it will never, ever be the same.

For those who have not experienced the loss of someone close, believe me, Christmas is a terribly sad time. Awful in fact, you are absolutely holding it together for the sake of the kids or whatever.

I would urge people to understand that Christmas is on the surface a great time, but for many it is a purgatory that must be endured with a smile and all that for the sake of others.

I have never had a loss at Christmas but the last time i was at home for Christmas was two years ago. My sister went on about how she likes Christmas, it was important to her. She likes to live it like its the last because nobody knows what the future holds. She was talking about how our family was hit hard with emigration and that's why she likes to live like its the last. So it sounded like she missed my brothers who lived abroad, who made a life for themselves abroad.

Such utter crap it was. She hadn't an issue starting a fight with me. Found something where there wasn't an issue. Accused me of something I did not do and she refused to apologise to me.

I haven't spoken to her since. The word sorry was too much. It's been almost two years since and she knows how much she has hurt me but won't say sorry.

It was so hypocritical to say Christmas was so important but treated me like dirt. When our parents die, i'll be the only family she has left in the country. But she's so consumed by my brothers who made a new life for themselves abroad and Christmas was always about them.

I didn't mind Christmas but I'm from a narcissist family. I had two choices either accept their behaviour where they don't apologise how hurtful their behaviour was. Or walk away.

Last Christmas was the worst, i spent it alone. I walked away from my mother's behaviour. It was life long. But i wasn't going to accept being put down. I have no one, no family support. I don't think no body knows how nasty people can get and people expect you to go home. It's worse in that you lost people that are still alive.

I'm dreading this year.

Badly Drunk Boy · 01-10-2016 12:02PM

I'm not mad about Christmas but I can cope with it. In fact, as of yesterday, I've most of my presents bought. (I hate the rush in the week or two before the event). It's the people who absolutely love Christmas to the extreme that wreck my head (and the people who despise it, to a lesser extent).

MonkieSocks wrote: »

I remember getting a Mormon Advent calendar one year.

Every time you opened one of the little doors, you were told to f**k off

But Mormons celebrate Christmas.

Are you thinking of the Jehovah's Witnesses? They're not into Christmas (or Easter) as they are integrated with pagan festivals, and Jesus never celebrated his birthday in the Bible.

SCOOP 64 wrote: »

True christmas movies channel now started on sky !
with 3 months still to go !

I just saw that. (Bad) Christmas films all day today!

01-10-2016 12:28PM

MadDog76 wrote: »

You're limiting your choices Lexie .......... you could spend Christmas with your brother, partner etc. and be thankful for what you do have in your life .......... but you choose to drink alone and wallow in your own misery thinking about what you don't have anymore .......... we all experience loss Lexie and there's people a lot worse off than you.

I'm not speaking for Lexie but I can totally understand your point. We do have choices. I can decide to embrace the season, cook a lovely dinner for my dad and me, visit relatives in the evening. However I don't do any of that and yes there are many many people worse off than me.
It's just hard sometimes to get past the pain. I'm a tough ol bird but Christmas floors me emotionally.

biko · 01-10-2016 12:29PM

Oh, is it time for "I hate Christmas, boohoo" threads already?

They start earlier each year..

Clonmel1000 · 01-10-2016 12:35PM

Regardless of you're feelings on it and I dislike it can people stop wishing each other a happy Christmas in September/October please? Christmas is from at a push 08th Dec to 06th Jan. Enough already.

scamalert · 01-10-2016 12:40PM

place i work in started doing christmas cards for each other -wtf is wrong with people

I get idea some people want to make profit like shops etc,but for regular person to worry and plan so much in advance is just plain stupid.

Not to mention in many cases its people that basically live paycheck to paycheck and yet they manage to splash out 300e because little johnny wants ps4.Then ramble how broke they are for another 9 months all over again :pac:

Clonmel1000 · 01-10-2016 12:42PM

The same people who will have their decorations up in late November when it's not Christmas and down on January 2nd when it is Christmas...

Shint0 · 01-10-2016 01:00PM

I gave up on Christmas a long, long time ago. Christmas to me is about all those toiletry/perfume gift sets everywhere which just make me feel overwhelmed and nauseous to point where I have to exit any shop which sells them which means about most shops.

Having said that I was in a store about two weeks ago in the UK when something caught my eye and I thought that would do me nicely for a Christmas present for myself. Then I thought why would I wait for Christmas, it's just a day and buy it any time.

Any family I have left, some of their in-laws which I might have to spend time with over Chistmas are incredibly selfish, self-entitled people. I used to go out of my way to make a special effort to buy thoughtful gifts for some of them to be just told 'Oh that's not suitable. Bring that back and get something else'. I'm talking about the in-laws here and not my own immediate family who are always very grateful.

So it means I stopped being foolish buying gifts for complete ingrates and use the money towards going abroad at Christmas which I try to do now if I can. Haven't decided yet if going anywhere but it can usually be a last minute thing where I decide 'Right, not doing this Christmas BS this year and just head off somewhere instead'. As I've got older I've learned being more selfish works better in my favour.

The flying mouse · 01-10-2016 01:12PM

Start preparing for Christmas early by falling out with all your friends and family now :pac::pac::p

trixychic · 01-10-2016 03:39PM

biko wrote: »

Oh, is it time for "I hate Christmas, boohoo" threads already?

They start earlier each year..

As is the distribution of the Xmas decor and goods to stores.

RobertKK · 01-10-2016 04:15PM

I loved Christmas as a child, and loved the day when both my parents were around.
Years ago we would have turkeys which my mother would have and sel to neighbours and relations for the Christmas dinner.
I don't bother putting up decorations. I don't like the commercialisation of Christmas.
My mother died in December and then two years ago three of my four dogs were stolen two weeks before Christmas - I was actually feeling depressed after that as I had just started to live alone and they were great company and I missed them.
It is the celebration of the birth of Jesus but the Christ is increasingly removed from Christmas.
There is too much work over the day, it should be simple like Jesus in the manger, it should simply be people with their family and loved ones.
There is too much BS about the perfect Christmas and what makes it and that leads to Christmas being started months before Christmas.
The greatest gift and the most perfect Christmas is to have your family members still alive for the day, because it is never the same when they are gone.

indioblack · 01-10-2016 04:22PM

Christmas often drives home the loneliness of many people.
My family broke apart years ago, so I see little of my relatives, Irish and English, at Christmas.
I keep Christmas minimal, I don't expect too much - but I enjoy what there is.
My mother and brother died at Christmas - so it's a time to reflect, but not to get depressed.
When my brother died I had to get over to Cork for the funeral, and I had Christmas there.
It was a time of sadness - yet still Christmas. So there was the consuming of turkey and sprouts and the downing of much alcohol - my brother, as a dedicated imbiber of brandy, would have approved.
So Christmas covers many human experiences - for me, I keep it simple, don't expect too much, and enjoy it.

FizzleSticks · 01-10-2016 04:59PM

This post has been deleted.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 01-10-2016 07:13PM

:cool:

MadDog76 wrote: »

You're limiting your choices Lexie .......... you could spend Christmas with your brother, partner etc. and be thankful for what you do have in your life .......... but you choose to drink alone and wallow in your own misery thinking about what you don't have anymore .......... we all experience loss Lexie and there's people a lot worse off than you.

And I don't dispute that. And you're right, I do choose to spend the day by myself but I wouldn't say I spend it wallowing. The morning I walked out of the hospital, past the big Christmas tree with the lights and the decorations and the red santas and tinsel hanging up, after holding someone I loved very much until they went cold, killed any Christmas spirit I had left in me. The priest talked about how fitting it was they had the Xmas crib with the animals in it at my dads funeral as he was buried maybe three days before xmas. That to me is an anniversary, not a date to buy a lot of presents and eat until I get sick.
And I know I'm not much company around then anyway, I'm sad and I'm moody and I'm nostalgic and I'm withdrawn. Why would I bring that to someone else's family Xmas? It's a non event for me now, and I'm fine with that. I don't feel the need to celebrate family and expect lavish gifts, that isn't what Christmas means for me anymore. And that's okay. I'm not taking a crap over anyone who does want to celebrate it. But you don't get to tell someone else they're miserable or joyless because they don't find the good in Xmas.

In fact, Xmas day is one of the busiest days in childline, children dealing with poverty, arguements and parents with drink problems who are over indulging and ruining the day. Forcing people who at best could be described as hostile toward each other to grit their teeth and spend a day in the company of people they for whatever reason would Otherwise cross the street to avoid.

Do not tell me what I can and should be grateful for. I know exactly what I have in my life to be thankful for, and I know how precious special moments are. I just don't believe they need to be forced down people's throats and I don't need a commercial holiday to be thankful or grateful for people in my life.

People, for a whole host of reasons will find Christmas hard. They shouldn't have to feel like they need to defend themselves or even have a reason for saying it's not a holiday they enjoy.

As for people having it worse, it's perspective isn't it? Put a cat and a horse standing in a pit full of dirt. The dirt will completely cover the cat but won't even touch the horses knees. It's the same dirt, but the two in it will come out of it every different. You cannot dismiss how much one person hurts because you think you'd react differently.

freshpopcorn · 01-10-2016 07:21PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

:cool:

And I don't dispute that. And you're right, I do choose to spend the day by myself but I wouldn't say I spend it wallowing. The morning I walked out of the hospital, past the big Christmas tree with the lights and the decorations and the red santas and tinsel hanging up, after holding someone I loved very much until they went cold, killed any Christmas spirit I had left in me. The priest talked about how fitting it was they had the Xmas crib with the animals in it at my dads funeral as he was buried maybe three days before xmas. That to me is an anniversary, not a date to buy a lot of presents and eat until I get sick.
And I know I'm not much company around then anyway, I'm sad and I'm moody and I'm nostalgic and I'm withdrawn. Why would I bring that to someone else's family Xmas? It's a non event for me now, and I'm fine with that. I don't feel the need to celebrate family and expect lavish gifts, that isn't what Christmas means for me anymore. And that's okay. I'm not taking a crap over anyone who does want to celebrate it. But you don't get to tell someone else they're miserable or joyless because they don't find the good in Xmas.

.

Would you consider going for some type of grief/living wi loss counselling?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 01-10-2016 07:22PM

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Would you consider going for some type of grief/living wi loss counselling?

I cope with loss just fine.

meeeeh · 01-10-2016 07:26PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

:cool:

And I don't dispute that. And you're right, I do choose to spend the day by myself but I wouldn't say I spend it wallowing. The morning I walked out of the hospital, past the big Christmas tree with the lights and the decorations and the red santas and tinsel hanging up, after holding someone I loved very much until they went cold, killed any Christmas spirit I had left in me. The priest talked about how fitting it was they had the Xmas crib with the animals in it at my dads funeral as he was buried maybe three days before xmas. That to me is an anniversary, not a date to buy a lot of presents and eat until I get sick.
And I know I'm not much company around then anyway, I'm sad and I'm moody and I'm nostalgic and I'm withdrawn. Why would I bring that to someone else's family Xmas? It's a non event for me now, and I'm fine with that. I don't feel the need to celebrate family and expect lavish gifts, that isn't what Christmas means for me anymore. And that's okay. I'm not taking a crap over anyone who does want to celebrate it. But you don't get to tell someone else they're miserable or joyless because they don't find the good in Xmas.

In fact, Xmas day is one of the busiest days in childline, children dealing with poverty, arguements and parents with drink problems who are over indulging and ruining the day. Forcing people who at best could be described as hostile toward each other to grit their teeth and spend a day in the company of people they for whatever reason would Otherwise cross the street to avoid.

Do not tell me what I can and should be grateful for. I know exactly what I have in my life to be thankful for, and I know how precious special moments are. I just don't believe they need to be forced down people's throats and I don't need a commercial holiday to be thankful or grateful for people in my life.

People, for a whole host of reasons will find Christmas hard. They shouldn't have to feel like they need to defend themselves or even have a reason for saying it's not a holiday they enjoy.

As for people having it worse, it's perspective isn't it? Put a cat and a horse standing in a pit full of dirt. The dirt will completely cover the cat but won't even touch the horses knees. It's the same dirt, but the two in it will come out of it every different. You cannot dismiss how much one person hurts because you think you'd react differently.

This is a brilliant response to what I thought was very condescending post. It also makes a few very valid points how Christmas really isn't the same for everyone.

As I said I like Christmas but at work the period before is stressful, hectic and anything but pleasant. I really don't feel the Christmas cheer at the beginning of October. Besides Autumn is a lovely part of the year and nice to be enjoyed on it's own.

Noveight · 01-10-2016 07:28PM

Christmas has started in October with a good few years now.

freshpopcorn · 01-10-2016 07:40PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I cope with loss just fine.

Just from what I've experienced with people who had difficulty with events such as Christmas/events after loosing a family member/another traumatic event that made them feel sad and moody. Counselling often helped them.

01-10-2016 07:46PM

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Just from what I've experienced with people who had difficulty with events such as Christmas/events after loosing a family member/another traumatic event that made them feel sad and moody. Counselling often helped them.

Finding Christmas difficult due to loss or trauma doesn't necessarily mean that complicated grief is what's occuring and that therapy is required.

The flying mouse · 01-10-2016 07:47PM

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I hate Christmas too. My dad died a couple days before Christmas Day. Now I spend my Christmas either alone or not belonging elsewhere. Christmas is completely stupid, people falling over themselves to buy presents for people they can't even spend a day with without fighting, being so ungrateful for the family time they have together.[/QUOTE]

This is what you said at the start and that what was been answered by other poster ,For my family and I would say the vast majority of families, its a good happy time even though every year now in my greater family there is one less person around. You don't like Christmas fair enough, but for me its a great holiday and I am enjoying it more n more every year.

01-10-2016 07:48PM

The flying mouse wrote: »

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I hate Christmas too. My dad died a couple days before Christmas Day. Now I spend my Christmas either alone or not belonging elsewhere. Christmas is completely stupid, people falling over themselves to buy presents for people they can't even spend a day with without fighting, being so ungrateful for the family time they have together.[/QUOTE]

This is what you said at the start and that what was been answered by other poster ,For my family and I would say the vast majority of families, its a good happy time even though every year now in my greater family there is one less person around. You don't like Christmas fair enough, but for me its a great holiday and I am enjoying it more n more every year.

And for lots of other people it's a very difficult time of year.

The flying mouse · 01-10-2016 07:55PM

Deleted User wrote: »

The flying mouse wrote: »

And for lots of other people it's a very difficult time of year.

And were have said it wasn't, But because some people have a hard time around Christmas, understandably so, doesn't mean its stupid and all family's are fighting either does it ?

Christmas

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