Have you ever done a runner?

Candie wrote: »

When I was a student, I was asked out to a dinner at a nice local restaurant by a couple who had asked a good few out to celebrate their engagement. They made a big thing out of taking everyone out for a meal, and while I didn't know them all that well, a free meal to a student is a free meal you don't refuse.

They took us out and we all ordered, and being a nice guest I made sure I didn't order anything particularly expensive, unlike some others who boozed up and ordered steaks bigger than an average dog. At the end of the meal, after every thanked the couple for their generosity, and toasted them happiness in their future life, I went off to the loo to get ready for the walk home and like has happened a few people, when I came out, nearly everyone had left apart from some people I didn't really know, so off I went.

Turned out the couple 'hosting' this dinner party expected everyone to pay for themselves and I'd skipped out without paying. They'd repeatedly said I was their guest and to order whatever I want, it was their party, etc., etc. I went back and paid the £50 for the meal I had - it would have been much more if I was a drinker, but I never spoke to the happy couple again as it was £50 I simply couldn't afford. A decision reinforced by the wedding invitation asking for 'at least' £200 in cash or vouchers. From a student.

The moral of the story is there's no such thing as a free lunch. Or dinner.

That reminds me of something similar that happened with my mothers family.
My mom passed away when I was 18, and the day she was buried was the last time I spoke to them. They're not particularly nice people and the least we had to do with them, the better.
They're mostly very false, appearances is very important to them but at everyone else's expense.

Anyway, my moms aunt came home from California a few years ago, and I would be quite close to them, but she wanted to meet all the Irish relations. She asked me if I would ask them if they were interested in catching up, she was in her 80s and it was her last trip to Ireland so wanted to see as many people as she could.

Begrudgingly I called the least septic cousin and asked her to ask around if anyone was interested, we were going for dinner that sat night and call me back with numbers. We had booked one restaurant at X time.
Cousin rang back with numbers, I think about 16 of them were coming. (I was expecting 5, the others wouldn't have known the Americans) she told me to book another restaurant as the menu was better and was only a little bit more expensive... Alright, I booked the suggested one and Saturday night rolled on around.

We had the place booked for about 30, and this particular family started to arrive. There was all the original cousins (my moms first cousins) their husbands and wives, their kids and in two cases, their grandkids.
The restaurant was really annoyed as a lot more came than we had booked for and we couldn't all sit together. They made sure they got in sitting with the aunt/cousins from America anyway.

The family alcoholic, the last time I saw her she was buying tesco value vodka and the cheap lemonade, was ordering cocktails to beat the band. They got the bar tab going, settling in for a right session. They were sucking up to the Americans so much they might as well have been rimming them.

I had taken time off work to bring them around and we had done so much while they were in Ireland. Of course they had to tell me where I should have taken them and what we should have done and where would have been better but didn't see them doing much.

Anyway, the restaurant was trying to get us to move on, it was so late and they wanted to close. My mothers cousins husband tapped me on the shoulder and said "Lexie, who's settling this?" And I said well Aidan, it's pay for yourself. I was 22, I don't know where he thought I was getting the cash to pay for it. And id actually rather take my money and set it alight before I'd pay for so much as a glass of water for any of them.

The alcoholic started crying about having no money. My mothers oldest cousin -- who had previously walked out of a line in the bank so as she wouldn't have to talk to me after my mother died -- said it to me that it was bad form to invite someone to something and expect them to pay for themselves, but I didn't think twice about telling me I normally wouldn't be in their company let alone invite them out for dinner, I merely passed on a message to one of them to put the word out if anyone would like to see the family that were home, to let us know for numbers.

It may be stingy but I regret naaaathing

I really abhor the idea of dining and dashing. I was actually just thinkinh about this last night. It is so knackery and mean. A lot of restaurants don't make a big profit, there are a lot of costs involved in running one. And everyone involved in getting the meal to your table works hard. If I'm not pleased with a meal, I'll complain and hope for a discount of some kind. But not paying? No, just no.

Candie wrote: »

Yeah, its just thieving like any other kind of thieving. No excuse for it.

Yes, I don't see how anyone can see it as any different to walking to a shop and shoplifting.

Your story is different though, as is the story of the guy upthread who wasnt paid by the restaurant for work done.

Once I inadvertently shoplifted. It was a total brain fart, accidental moment. But I was mortified and went back as soon as I realised, 30 minutes later or so, to pay and explain what happened. I could not have that on my conscience. It's just a magazine but profit margins are low on items like that so I couldn't just leave it, I had to go and back and pay.

Fluffy Cat 88 wrote: »

I did but it was accidental

New cafe opened up in town, self service type place. Got a lovely lasagne with chips and a big salad, 2 coffees (shift workers like their coffee), and the nice lady said "ah you're grand, pay me when you're finished".

Guzzled the lot and forgot to pay. Driving back to work when I realised. I went back straight away, ran in, paid and apologised profusely . She said "ah sure I never even noticed, you're very honest thanks very much".

About 2 weeks later it closed down.

I've actually done that too once by accident. In self-service places, it's so easy. But like you, I went back and paid.

Never did it myself, only ever seen it once, in an Eddie Rocket's

Guy in his mid-20s, well-dressed so could obviously afford whatever he had. Floor manager chased him out the door, and he must have given up pretty easy as a few seconds later she marches him in to pay, not a look of guilt on his face, like it was a game

I lived in Belgium for a while, it was the first time I was somewhere you would pay for your beers at the end. Obviously I would get drunk and forget to pay, mostly they'd stop me or I'd remember the next day but I'm sure there are a few bars that I owe a few quid.

Silly system anyway!