That's It, I'm Ending It

Right I want to spill some thoughts, since January I’ve been seeing a girl, before her I had been single for a little over a year after a pretty hard break-up, that break-up was the most difficult thing in my life I’ve had to get over to date and even now I still feel crap about it as I didn’t want to finish it and it wasn’t in my comprehension to finish it but her unwillingness to juggle our relationship (so it could progress) with her other priorities weren’t happening so I was forced into the God awful position of walking away from it which was a horrible experience considering for most of the relationship I knew how lucky I was to have someone as great as her and then it went absolutely pair shaped because of a ton of her personal problems and her workaholic academic work ethic manifested itself into our relationship and I felt like I had no place in her life after I heavily invested myself in the relationship and made an unbelievable amount of compromise and sacrifice and put certain aspects of my own life on hold for it which even now still irritates me.

I’m seeing someone else now and she’s a completely different kettle of fish, nothing like my ex, I just got with her because I was sick of being on my own at the time, now that I’ve been with her a while, I really can’t stand her, she’s a chore to be around in many ways, she’s a smoker which I hate, she doesn’t look after herself a great deal, she can’t cook, not that I expect her to for me or anything, I can cook myself but any adult should be able to cook their own meals, she goes to her Grandmothers for her meals because her own mother is a lazy cow who doesn’t get off her own couch to upkeep her own home or cook!

She has 3 sisters who are headcases as well aged between 18-22, the whole family often argue about some really stupid juvenile s**t that doesn’t matter and when I’m around them they make me extremely anxious because normally I’m pretty placid and easy going and I had it so much easier in past relationships especially the last one.

One sister she’s like 22 or so she just annoys me with her off-on relationship with her skanger-ific partner who’s in and out of the rent allowanced house like a yo-yo, she has two children with him and when he’s not in the picture, every weekend she’s looking for somebody to flog the kids onto so she can go drinking. Well for her...just an idiot. I pretend to be nice to her but she’s an idiot.

Her other sister, she’s like 19. Every single weekend she has to go out on the tear and get in a state, she has a tendency to walk into bedroom’s without knocking, she’s immature, loud and very obnoxious and has a horrible temper. She is a bit pretty but her personality would make you want to jump off a bridge, being why she’s still single.

Her other sister, she’s just 18, has a partner and a child that is nearly a year old. For a long time I thought she was nicest one of the lot, until last weekend when I had to go out for the g/fs birthday, I had planned to break it off with her a month previously but she booked a hotel for her birthday which was this month and like what could I do ruin her birthday plans by ending it? I didn’t have the heart to do that so I stayed in it till now. Anyway back to the youngest sister, we went out last week for this birthday and went to some bar, it was a bit of a dive of a place but whatever it wasn’t my choice and I said to the sister before going out that she should eat something before going out drinking otherwise it’ll go to her head and she’ll either be sick or she’ll be carried home early, I know I was 18 once, she was so excited to be going out because when you have a small child, going out for some is hard to do, unlike her other sister who to me is a total pisshead.

The younger sister didn’t listen to me and she kept giving me this shyte about her “being 18” and “didn’t like being told what to do” and “I’m not drunk” I didn’t even say she was drunk, I said she needed to eat something because she hadn’t all day. So she didn’t listen to me and got a bit hyper on Kopparberg and at only 9.30 at night, we were only in the pub a half hour or so, the group of us saw her shifting/kissing another fella outside, while the father of her not even 1 year old child sits at home minding him. I was sat there thinking “Ah for f**k sake, I’m too old for this bulls**t” spent most of the night babysitting her so she wouldn’t mess up the night or attract unwanted attention on herself, she later spent most of the night messing up two lads games of pool in some pub and making fun of their technique and whatnot. I literally feel like an old guy in comparision to her and I’m only 27, but even when I was 18 I didn’t behave like that with drink in me.

The mother is an almighty headwreck too, she has no concept of being much of a mother, by the looks of it, she’s always let them do what they want, when they want, she can’t look after her house, it’s a pigsty, the kitchen itself I don’t think should be holding any food whatsoever going by the smell in there, she has a cat and not that I don’t mind cats but I think it pisses everywhere, just the smell in there would make you want to blow chunks, the hallway has bags of clothes everywhere and had been there for some time, all over the house there is random objects from the hall, to the stairs, to the landing, like one night I just found a random CD just laying there on the floor, just right there outside the bathroom door, and I was there again weeks later and the CD was still there, like nobody picks up after themselves. Not even a sign of a hoover in the f**king place.

Also she has no filter or decorum at all, on our first meeting she said and I quote “She says you’re the best shag she ever had!” which made me want to dissolve into the floor, I was mortified. Her sister’s and most of her friends are no better, last week I came across something on Facebook, it was this pink picture with like a phrase on it, it read “May your weekend be full of alcohol, big dick, fabulous hair and perfect make-up” this followed with a conversation with her sister and one of her friends publically having a vulgar enough short discussion about our sex life, nothing in detail, just enough to really piss me off as it’s none of their concern or anyone else on Facebook for that matter. I mentioned it to her even and all she could do is laugh. Seriously it’s like going out with someone who has the mental age of a teenager and most of her entire circle are like that too. Really think her personality and mine just do not gel and also I can’t stand her family and most of her friends, if it wasn’t for her birthday I’d have finished it ages ago.

Just now she posted an entry for the laugh on Facebook saying she was pregnant and she has befriended some people I know on there which would have made them lose their minds only for I saw it in time. I'm fit to kill her.

I’ve set myself a general date to finish it, I’m going to do it after my friend’s wedding in early August, it’s on in England and once I return that’s it, don’t think I’ll ever be so happy to be single again.