That's It, I'm Ending It

daisybelle2008

SarahMollie wrote: »

What???

1. You were forced to finish with her.....by who? You put yourself in this entire situation for your own selfish reasons.

2. You always have protection. That is so naive. Accidents happen.

So despite how much you clearly despise her, you're still having sex with her. Classy.

He means he was 'forced' to finish with the ex, who he 'bent over backwards' for. I know this because of the massive essays of rants about every single detail of that relationship and how he was 'shafted', it is mentioned in almost every post and even other peoples threads are hijacked to lay out in bitter detail and blame about her and e.g how much time she spent on her laptop etc., wouldn't change her mind to suit him about having kids. (after ALL he did for her)

OP you really have a massive chip on your shoulder about your ex, it is unhealthy and obsessive and a bit scary. You really need to be single and go to a therapist asap.

It has become a handy excuse for you, you use this woman and criticise her family horribly for months and when you are pulled up you blame your ex for making you like this! ......rinse and repeat....

Take some responsibility for yourself for gods sake.

Big Bag of Chips

I know people are being pretty harsh on you but everybody on the thread can't be wrong. I'm going to try be as kind as possible when I say the following:

Your posts are very intense. Very intense. They are angry, bitter and downright nasty. These aren't traits that would suddenly just appear in somebody over night. I think maybe your ex spotted something in you that made her wary of committing too much to you. Now, maybe she should have ended it with you long before it eventually came to an end, but maybe she was scared? Uneasy? Maybe she hoped if she disengaged enough that you would do the work for her?

You then started a relationship with a person it seems you never really liked from the very beginning. But here you still are, with her because it's better than not being with anyone. I think you have problems that you need to address, OP, and very soon. You were single until you "settled" for someone you feel is far beneath you. Why was she the best you could do? What was it about you at that time, (and now?) that she was the only kind of person you attracted. There are loads of nice girls, really nice girls who would love a nice boyfriend. No drama. No messing. Just someone nice to enjoy being with. Why could you not start a relationship with someone like that? You are 27 years of age. If you don't sort out yourself, your attitude, your outlook, then you are going to make the next years of your life very difficult for yourself.

I would urge you to maybe go to counselling. Try to figure out what would really make you happy, and how you can make the people around you happy. Write off this relationship. It was a disaster that should never have happened. Forget about it and move on... But NOT on to the next disastrous relationship. Just move on. Move on from this chapter in your life and start a new one.

Everyone deserves to be happy. Everyone. But sometimes people seem to do all they can to sabotage their own happiness.

DeltaWhite

OP no matter how I say the following, it really is going to sound like an insult but I truly don't mean it in a derogatory way but. You are making yourself sound more vile than the vile description you gave of her family.

I remember your other posts very well and I think you believe you are over your ex and doing good (apart from your horrific girlfriend and her family) but you aren't. Everyone can see it from your posts, it is not healthy and I urge you to please go to a counsellor. Because you are going to do more damage to yourself the longer you keep up like this. How you described her family, no matter how repulsive you think they are - it was a total character assassination. I'm pretty sure if your girlfriend was on here describing your family in the same way you would unleash hell.

Go and get the help you need, because you do really need it. I really don't think posters are being hysterical here suggesting you do the same. This should be a wake up call for you now. You need to talk these feelings out with a professional, and it can honestly be so beneficial to have an unbiased opinion/advice from a counsellor.

LegacyUser

The truth is you have been using her for the past 7 to 8 months. Your last relationship ended badly 12 months before you got involved with your current girlfriend.

You start to go out with this woman and realise quickly that she is not the right person for you. Your quite happy to have sex with her but can't deal with her lack of maturity and her having talks on fb re your sex life. She put up on fb that she is pregnant. Are you sure that she is not pergnant? I would be getting out off this so called realtionship as soon as possible. You don't want to have a child with this woman.

Yes you don't like being single. Yes it is not easy to be single when your freinds are in couples, living with people or having children. Being honest you better on your own that being in a bad realtionship with someone you don't care about/who does not care about you and who puts up things about your sex life on fb when they know this will annoy you.

It is not always easy to admit that you have made mistakes in your life. It is not easy to say to someone I need help to sort out this problem or to make my life better.
Rather than rushing into another realtionship after you end this one I would spend some time on your own. I would go to counselling and be willing to make changes to improve your own life and to help you make better relationship choices.

squonk

You've been round these parts before OP. I remember you.

Look, before I even recognised you, your comment that you just got with this woman to avoid being alone spoke volumes.

Now, you don't like her, you don't like her family so there's really no point in coming on here rehashing the same issues over and over again. You know what you have to do here. It's plain as day.

Stop having sex with this woman. Better still, break up with her. Actually, just break up with her full stop. Don't do it Saturday, Sunday, Monday or next Tuesday. Do it now. Text her and end it that way if you must. Yes it's **** but not as **** as sleeping with someone you've no interest in. Just do it!!! Stop the pissing around. Rip the bandage off and make like easier for you both.

Get some help. You need it I think. Get help and get out of this relationship right now.

LegacyUser

God you're not cool at all are you. What a load of drama over absolutely nothing. You're not very confident and terribly insecure and that's the reason you're still in this. Your girlfriend and her friends are all having a laugh while you're deeply unhappy. You critisise everything. Absolutely everything. That can't make you feel good. In fact it makes you feel ****, and guilty and why you're still stuck in this.
You only have control and reponsibility for yourself and your actions.
Your posts are quite scary. And that is nothing to do with your gf or her family. But you're not mature enough to see that outer circumstances are absolutely irrelevant to the type of person you are, your reactions to those circumstances and your own temperament and moods. You are who you are. This is not your gf's fault. This is all you.
Deep down you know it's you. That's why you are still with her. If you were a mature and responsible person you would have ended it and removed yourself from an unsuitable relationship. But you know there's problems there and they are all yours. But it's too hard to look at yourself. It's far far easier to point the finger and come out with all that bile directed at everyone but you.

jimd2

zcorpian88 wrote: »

She lives a significant distance away, I can't do the trip today or tomorrow.

Why do you need to do the trip? Call her and break it off, not the best thing to do but it won be the first time someones done it.

Unless there is some of your stuff in her place I wouldnt make the journey just to go up & break it off.

silverbolt

zcorpian88 wrote: »

I just got with her because I was sick of being on my own at the time, now that I’ve been with her a while, I really can’t stand her, she’s a chore to be around in many ways,.

Thats the only part thats needed. Stuff this waiting around crap.

That family and you have completely different lifestyles and views that are totally incompatible.

Get out of it. Just end it, before an accident happens like pregnancy that will make it so much worse.

elstingeo

I'm going to be as kind as possible here and give you an extremely honest opinion as an outsider looking in at the situation you have described.

This is entirely your own doing as you got with the woman because you were sick of being alone. That is a fatal mistake. Getting with someone for the sake of it as a huge mistake as you will not be as emotionally invested in the other person as much as they would be with you.

I can somewhat understand your annoyance with her family etc. But please keep in mind that everyone's family unit operates differently and is different. This means that it helps to be able to see this and accept them for where they are in life and how they behave.

To be blunt with you, man to man would be like this. It seems that you are still having sex with her. So if you are just invested in the sex and feel good factor than this is not good at all. You're in this relationship for all the wrong reasons and have a bit of maturing to do.

You can't keep attacking the character of her family in comparison to you and act as if you are without fault because that porcelain pedistool you're standing on will eventually crack and break once again leaving you to pick up the pieces.

I believe from reading your posts that you're not over your ex and feel hard done by. So you adopted this persona as a coping mechanism to shield you from the emotional pain.

Emotional pain hurts and can change people's personalities. And I believe it may have altered yours and your outlook on future relationships as a whole. This is not going to help you in the future as it will hamper any future romantic or personal relationships you have with other people in the long run.

Keeping a diary or speaking to a professional to vent these feelings will most certainly help as you may feel a weight has been lifted off your chest. So maybe think about doing this.

To be short, you're not in this for the right reasons so save her the heartbreak and yourself the wrecked head in the long run and break up with her and also look into the idea of sorting out some emotional problems you have going on.

I wish you the very best of luck in the future.