Why do so many women in relationships go off sex?

Keane2baMused · 21-07-2016 01:07PM

Funny OP because I as a woman have only ever experienced the opposite in past relationships.

Men with much lower sex drives. In fact one ex would only have sex on particular day of the week cos he was "too tired"the rest of the time...ahem. Low libido really does ruin a relationship.

I don't think I have a particularly high sex drive but I would want it at least 3 times in a week

Potatoeman · 21-07-2016 01:20PM

midlandsmissus wrote: »

But I'm saying it as being sad for myself. Id love to live in a world where sex was really lovely, pleasurable and ecstatic for myself, but that is not my norm. I have never had sex with people where I did not make sure they came, yet I have been with men who seemed surprised that sex was not solely about their orgasm.

Case in point - I was on holidays last year, and my friend was casually seeing this English guy - she came back in the middle of the night when they had sex and was like ' why was I even there', it was so bad. He had purely thought of his pleasure then rolled over and went to sleep.

I want better sex!

You know just because a guy comes, it does not mean he has had an orgasm.

OldNotWIse · 21-07-2016 01:22PM

That whole thing about no oral after marriage is a jaded urban legend. I'm guessing one might go off sex with the person they are married to as opposed to just off sex, though presumably if you're married to the right person this doesn't happen.

OldNotWIse · 21-07-2016 01:22PM

Potatoeman wrote: »

You know just because a guy comes, it does not mean he has had an orgasm.

FortySeven · 21-07-2016 01:23PM

Potatoeman wrote: »

You know just because a guy comes, it does not mean he has had an orgasm.

Tell me more? I must be doing it wrong.

Cortina_MK_IV · 21-07-2016 01:25PM

There is a food that has been shown to put women off of sex.

It's called wedding cake.

Pac1Man · 21-07-2016 01:31PM

Potatoeman wrote: »

You know just because a guy comes, it does not mean he has had an orgasm.

Excuse me sir?

Potatoeman · 21-07-2016 01:33PM

FortySeven wrote: »

Tell me more? I must be doing it wrong.

You can ejeculate with having an orgasm.

OldNotWIse · 21-07-2016 01:36PM

FortySeven wrote: »

Tell me more? I must be doing it wrong.

Me too!:eek:

Plus cant google this stuff in work!

FortySeven · 21-07-2016 01:37PM

Potatoeman wrote: »

You can ejeculate with having an orgasm.

Are we talking prostate massage?

osarusan · 21-07-2016 01:37PM

Exeggcute · 21-07-2016 01:43PM

Lying there like a sack of spuds and then complaining he is selfish

CarrickMcJoe · 21-07-2016 01:43PM

blue note wrote: »

I remember talking to my housemate (female) who was telling me that if she didn't have sex in a few months she'd hardly care. Whereas if I didn't in a fortnight I'd get horny when I see the crack or dawn.

What can be done about this?!?

If I was Dawn, I'd watch my back!!

21-07-2016 01:45PM

Just about any time I've heard both sides of a sexual encounter or relationship where the woman claims to be adventrous/wild the man says it was boring or lazy stuff. Or at least the "wild" bit disappears extremely quickly.

Potatoeman · 21-07-2016 01:47PM

FortySeven wrote: »

Are we talking prostate massage?

No, would you agree there are at least different sizes.

Sir Osis of Liver. · 21-07-2016 01:49PM

Potatoeman wrote: »

No, would you agree there are at least different sizes.

I'm hugely confused Ted.

Coming without coming in different sizes?

StupidLikeAFox · 21-07-2016 01:57PM

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

I'm hugely confused Ted.

Coming without coming in different sizes?

I think what he is trying to say is that not all male orgasms are equal - just because you ejaculate doesn't necessarily mean you are completely satisfied

OldNotWIse · 21-07-2016 02:01PM

StupidLikeAFox wrote: »

I think what he is trying to say is that not all male orgasms are equal - just because you ejaculate doesn't necessarily mean you are completely satisfied

What the hell else is meant to happen? :eek: I would have thought it was a clear sign that he was er "done"

Chris_Bradley · 21-07-2016 02:05PM

You'd somehow get tired of blue-skies here if it always was sunny.

FortySeven · 21-07-2016 02:10PM

Potatoeman wrote: »

No, would you agree there are at least different sizes.

Normal and enlarged?

21-07-2016 02:12PM

StupidLikeAFox wrote: »

I think what he is trying to say is that not all male orgasms are equal - just because you ejaculate doesn't necessarily mean you are completely satisfied

I think we need scorecards for these things, so we can keep track of who's game is dropping form.

I think women can lose interest in sex in LTRs in the same way that some men can become complacent about attentiveness or non sexual affection in LTRs, and I suspect the Ven intersection would be quite telling.

Communication etc., etc.

Stealthfins · 21-07-2016 02:15PM

Nothing better than being able to fish,surf,eat and clean when ever you like.
Believe me sex isn't all it adds up to be.
Going solo is the best decision I ever made for now....
Probably as well off who'd put up with me lol

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 21-07-2016 02:16PM

Do people have a perpetually high sex drive? I'd say in my relationship we'd both be on the same wave length usually but there's been times he's had little interest in sex, then he's back to himself, and most recently I've been quite ill and that was pretty much the first "symptom" I had. I didn't even want a cuddle never mind have him anywhere near me. It happens in a relationship. People aren't machines, aren't ready for action every single minute of the day.

Titzon Toast · 21-07-2016 02:29PM

midlandsmissus wrote: »

I'll put it out there and say this: many men are very selfish in bed. They do what feels good for them until they orgasm, and don't take care of the woman's orgasm.

There are so many factors here:
Porn shows men just sticking their penis in a woman's vagina and the woman screaming in ecstasy. But this is filmed by men and is not what women need sexually at all.
Women need foreplay and lots of it.

When you are not getting sexually satisfied, why would you miss it.

I haven't had sex in 8 months and I don't miss it, as I know if I had a one night stand, I know I would be used for their pleasure , their orgasm.

Whereas if I knew there were men out there who would really give me a great experience and see sex as pleasure two ways then I would miss it.

It takes two to tango . Satisfy your women. Make sex better for all of us.

I'm not one of those men, I take pride in giving my GF pleasure when we have sex. I can pretty much come whenever I please so there's no pressure on me. I'll just give her orgasms until she's had enough and then I finish, simples.

As for the OP, I think there is some truth in what he said but it is a bit of a generalisation.

jackofalltrades · 21-07-2016 02:32PM

midlandsmissus wrote: »

Case in point - I was on holidays last year, and my friend was casually seeing this English guy - she came back in the middle of the night when they had sex and was like ' why was I even there', it was so bad.
He had purely thought of his pleasure then rolled over and went to sleep.

I want better sex!

Yes but this is exactly the problem.
Why is she telling you this, why doesn't she tell the man she was sleeping with.
Or even better stop him in the middle of sex and address the issue or talk about what she wants at the start.
As long a selfish lovers get what they want they've no incentive to change.

People need to take more responsibility for the sexual happiness.

21-07-2016 02:48PM

Titzon Toast wrote: »

I can pretty much come whenever I please so there's no pressure on me. I'll just give her orgasms until she's had enough and then I finish, simples.

Alas a lot of women seem to have that pre-conception and it doesn't apply to everyone and even if it did it's pretty selfish. When someone's description of being a generous lover starts with "I let him..." then it's not a great sign.

flutered · 21-07-2016 02:51PM

my 18 year old son said to me this morning arriving home after a three day absense, i am getting married dad he said, i looked at him saying why, is she pregnant and you have decided its the only option, son says i there are mopre options than that, nah he said, it because i can have sex whenever i want it, i did not bother putting him wide to that

Qiaonasen · 21-07-2016 03:22PM

Just before the conversation continues. Everyone please remember females are irrational and delusional. Continue...

Speedwell · 21-07-2016 03:23PM

Qiaonasen wrote: »

Just before the conversation continues. Everyone please remember females are irrational and delusional. Continue...

Colorless green ideas sleep furiously, so there.

Outlaw Pete · 21-07-2016 03:28PM

midlandsmissus wrote: »

I'll put it out there and say this: many men are very selfish in bed. They do what feels good for them until they orgasm, and don't take care of the woman's orgasm.

There are so many factors here:
Porn shows men just sticking their penis in a woman's vagina and the woman screaming in ecstasy. But this is filmed by men and is not what women need sexually at all.
Women need foreplay and lots of it.

When you are not getting sexually satisfied, why would you miss it.

I haven't had sex in 8 months and I don't miss it, as I know if I had a one night stand, I know I would be used for their pleasure , their orgasm.

Whereas if I knew there were men out there who would really give me a great experience and see sex as pleasure two ways then I would miss it.

It takes two to tango . Satisfy your women. Make sex better for all of us.

I don't think I have ever seen so much nonsense in one post.

If a woman has bad sex, then it was as much her fault as anbody else's. Even if a guy you were with couldn't get it up, then that is still no reason why a woman still couldn't be sexually satisfied. Ask him to go down on you, to use toys on you, other similarly shaped body parts on you, do whatever the fcuk you want with you. You say the guy would just use you... eh, well while he is using you, can you not use him? Are all these men just telling you not to move, stay still or something?

As for porn just showing men that sticking their penis in a woman is enough... that's just more baloney. Can't remember seeing porn in 20 plus years that didn't show the guy going down on the woman first. Lots of porn is made by women also and even when it isn't, scenes will generally be shot now around whatever it is that turns the woman on. Then there is all the amateur porn stuff shot by couples. Maybe at one time porn was wham, bam, thank you mam stuff, but not no more it isn't.

You're right, it does 'take two to tango'.. a strange idiom for you to use considering what you said though.

I suggest watching the following:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2-ktPWXW_E

Why do so many women in relationships go off sex?

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