If you won't parent you child, this lady will parent you!

Smondie · 20-07-2016 02:54PM

Candie wrote: »

Then ask them to leave and mind your own business. They're not her kids, disciplining them is not her business and it crosses a line. If she doesn't want them misbehaving in her cafe, she should tell them to go.

Ridiculous that everyone recognises that no one should put up with disruptive kids, but somehow thinks it's reasonable that a stranger intervenes and disciplines a strangers child.

they can leave if they want. She gives the parents time to react. If she has to react, it's lazyparenting

Smondie · 20-07-2016 02:57PM

Candie wrote: »

WHY must the world revolve around them?

WHY can't it revolve around ME??

Why can't it revolve about my unruly brats? They're entitled to cause havoc and disrupte everyone's lunch, except mine.

Olishi4 · 20-07-2016 02:59PM

Smondie wrote: »

She said a few parents have thrown tantrums. The children didn't lick it off the ground, as they say

When I first met one of my neighbours, he was chatting to me and was giving out about other kids playing on the avenue. He said that one of them didn't have a coat. I remember thinking at the time that it was summer and the child in question is always out on his bike and he was probably just too warm.

Had he said it to someone else, they might not make those connections and easily assume that the mother lets the child out freezing but the reality is that the more I got to know that neighbour, it seems he just enjoys complaining about anyone and anything.

I don't think it's any ones job to disipline other people's children. They are there with their own parents. Most of the time they dont know the full story, know nothing about the child. In general though I don't really see kids misbehaving that much in restaurants or cafes as much as people seem to make out.

Sometimes kids do have tantrums. They are just learning. Everything is new to them. Sometimes if I a child is having a tantrum, they just need to have it and provoking or telling the child off in that moment might make the situation worse. How does she know that the parents aren't just waiting for a better time when the child is more calm to explain that they should not behave like that?

Permabear · 20-07-2016 03:20PM

This post has been deleted.

SteM · 20-07-2016 03:39PM

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

Exactly. This is an ice-cream kiosk with a few chairs around it, a place that basically survives on parents paying through the nose for frozen sugar milk for their children.

Grayson · 20-07-2016 06:34PM

SteM wrote: »

Exactly. This is an ice-cream kiosk with a few chairs around it, a place that basically survives on parents paying through the nose for frozen sugar milk for their children.

In a small town all the parents will now have heard about the woman and will avoid her. She'll have very few parents visit her now.

Story Bud? · 20-07-2016 06:42PM

Grayson wrote: »

In a small town all the parents will now have heard about the woman and will avoid her. She'll have very few parents visit her now.

Or else she'll have lots of parents of nice well behaved children who are just thrilled to spend time with other like minded parents and kids.

Smondie · 20-07-2016 07:09PM

These parents let thier child pee on the floor and didn't bat an eye. I feel sorry for the children, it's not thier fault thier parents can't be bothered, pity there's not more people around like the cafe lady.

dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3699191/Outrage-parents-allow-child-toilet-Morning-floor.html#comments-3699191

Grayson · 20-07-2016 07:27PM

Story Bud? wrote: »

Or else she'll have lots of parents of nice well behaved children who are just thrilled to spend time with other like minded parents and kids.

Yeah, because parents love going somewhere that someone will tell them they're bad parents or will try to discipline their kids without their permission. So many parents love that.

Can you imagine any parent who'd be grateful if I walked up to their child in a supermarket or cafe and started disciplining them.

Winterlong · 20-07-2016 07:30PM

Grayson wrote: »

Yeah, because parents love going somewhere that someone will tell them they're bad parents or will try to discipline their kids without their permission. So many parents love that.

Can you imagine any parent who'd be grateful if I walked up to their child in a supermarket or cafe and started disciplining them.

The point is that if there is a place to go where there will be no little brats, and where well behaved kids are welcome, then some parents may see that as a plus. I would.

Smondie · 20-07-2016 07:36PM

Grayson wrote: »

Yeah, because parents love going somewhere that someone will tell them they're bad parents or will try to discipline their kids without their permission. So many parents love that.

Can you imagine any parent who'd be grateful if I walked up to their child in a supermarket or cafe and started disciplining them.

Who cares what the parents think? If they are that useless they sit there and ignore thier child disrupting everyone else, why should we be concerned about what they think?

Hologram · 20-07-2016 10:01PM

Children past toddler age should generally know about good and bad behaviour, but I would say there are more two/three-year-olds acting the demon in public due to no fault of the parent(s) (because that is unfortunately what a lot of two/three-year-olds do - they can be little ****ers

but they don't know they're being little ****ers) than two/three-year-olds acting out in public due to their parent(s) not being bothered.

If there is a toddler having a screaming fit in public though and a strange adult comes over to discipline them, the toddler will likely lose their sh*t even more, so I don't know if it's the best idea - in relation to toddlers at least.

Also - and I know this is obviously rare - but some children with severe autism have screaming fits in public so if that were the case, a strange adult trying to discipline them could be quite serious in terms of how it would affect the child.

Safest bet in my opinion would be simply to ask the parent(s) to keep their child quiet (if it's clear that they can) or to leave.

Sand · 20-07-2016 10:18PM

Olishi4 wrote: »

Sometimes kids do have tantrums. They are just learning. Everything is new to them. Sometimes if I a child is having a tantrum, they just need to have it and provoking or telling the child off in that moment might make the situation worse. How does she know that the parents aren't just waiting for a better time when the child is more calm to explain that they should not behave like that?

Yeah, generations of parents going back to the stone age didn't know what they were doing by correcting their kids whilst they were screwing up. The latest fad of non-parenting, it will all work out in the end with no effort method is clearly the right way.

Your Face · 20-07-2016 10:20PM

Hang the lot of them.

Smondie · 20-07-2016 10:27PM

Sand wrote: »

Yeah, generations of parents going back to the stone age didn't know what they were doing by correcting their kids whilst they were screwing up. The latest fad of non-parenting, it will all work out in the end with no effort method is clearly the right way.

Most of the time it's the people at the creche parent them these days. Thier own parents just want all the happy, happy, fun time

keith16 · 20-07-2016 10:32PM

Threads like this come up all the time and really highlight the attitude in Ireland that children should be seen and not heard. And preferably neither in public places.

All over the continent, kids are welcome in restaurants and cafés. Many have little play areas and will always give stuff to the kids to keep them entertained....colouring books, funny cutlery etc. All in all, it makes for a much more enjoyable environment for all.

I guess even the sight of children for people like the café owner mentioned here, have them thinking to themselves...."just wait until that little shit kicks off". Quite sad.

Olishi4 · 20-07-2016 10:44PM

Sand wrote: »

Yeah, generations of parents going back to the stone age didn't know what they were doing by correcting their kids whilst they were screwing up. The latest fad of non-parenting, it will all work out in the end with no effort method is clearly the right way.

Smondie wrote: »

Most of the time it's the people at the creche parent them these days. Thier own parents just want all the happy, happy, fun time

Alright now Sand and Smondie, don't have a little tantrum about it.

I'll talk to you later, when you both calm down

CelticRambler · 20-07-2016 11:03PM

I had the surreal experience of watching a bunch of seven- or eight-year-olds giving a bunch of sixteen- and seventeen-year-olds a hard time over their "bad behaviour" during this last week. The youngsters were French (and one Franco-Hibernian :pac: ) ; the teens were English, and supposedly under my watchful eye. I took it off them for a moment to make sure they were given a good teasing by the French lads ... then went back to yelling at them myself.

Ironically, the one amongst them who had next-to-no parenting (at all) was one of the best behaved and most cooperative. Four of the six were lazy, messy feckers who did nothing without having orders barked at them and being threatened with starvation. It (only) took four days for them to fall in line, though ... and they all left yesterday asking if they could come back next year.

I have a couple of nephews like that too, and I do blame the parents ...

Smondie · 21-07-2016 11:38AM

So the floor peering family want people to give them 100,000 to fund thier bad parenting

dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3700841/Off-grid-mother-defends-one-year-old-daughter-WEEING-Morning-floor-parents-ask-strangers-100-000-fund-lifestyle.html

Dolbert · 21-07-2016 12:27PM

OP, are you the same rereg from the parenting forum who has a bee in his/her bonnet about creches, and childcare in general?

Smondie · 21-07-2016 12:37PM

Dolbert wrote: »

OP, are you the same rereg from the parenting forum who has a bee in his/her bonnet about creches, and childcare in general?

No and what's that got to do with the topic?
Is this an attempt to deflect from bad parenting?

Cienciano · 21-07-2016 01:32PM

SteM wrote: »

Why doesn't the café owner tell the parents to tell their children to be quiet? Maybe she knows it'll cause problems. Unfortunately in this day and age it's not the done thing to reprimand other people's little darlings.

Because if she has to actually tell parents that, they've already failed at parenting.

super_furry · 21-07-2016 01:35PM

Bring back the birch, hanging's too good for 'em I say. Thatcher would never have let it get this far. Our boys out there civilising the world!

The Dailymail - some things never change.

SteM · 21-07-2016 01:45PM

Cienciano wrote: »

Because if she has to actually tell parents that, they've already failed at parenting.

Or maybe she's oversensitive and children aren't actually being loud? No one knows, that's what makes this whole conversation so ridiculous.

OldNotWIse · 21-07-2016 01:58PM

Ah its like that café owner in Phibsboro who every so often posts anti-vegan stuff and then all the precious vegans get all worked up about it and feed into the whole thing. They are publicity junkies, simple as that.

Having said that, having recently sat through a graduation where the presentation of someone's award was marred by the shrieks of a toddler despite their being a no kid rule, my tolerance for screaming kids is low. Clearly a café is a totally different setting and kids will be kids but a blatant disregard for other people just because you have kids is just as wrong as zero tolerance for said kids from others. Common sense and consideration from both sides would go a long way.

SteM · 21-07-2016 02:26PM

Has anyone looked at this place? Calling it a cafe is optimistic imo.

Dolbert · 21-07-2016 03:01PM

Smondie wrote: »

No and what's that got to do with the topic?
Is this an attempt to deflect from bad parenting?

God no, I'm with you all the way. Let's ban children full-stop. Future generations will thank us. Keep the faith!

Smondie · 21-07-2016 06:58PM

Dolbert wrote: »

God no, I'm with you all the way. Let's ban children full-stop. Future generations will thank us. Keep the faith!

Why ban children? Why not hold parents to higher standards? You know, expect them to actually parent the child

5rtytry56 · 21-07-2016 07:07PM

Smondie wrote: »

Why ban children? Why not hold parents to higher standards? You know, expect them to actually parent the child

GO SMONDIE : YOU go out & TELL OFF ALL these WAYWARD mammies and daddies.

let us know how you get on.

:pac:

ScumLord · 21-07-2016 07:16PM

Candie wrote: »

She needs to appreciate that disciplining kids is the business of the parents, and her opinion on how other people should do things is only her opinion.

I don't see why. Children are people too, they have to be able to interact with other people and cocooning them from interactions is probably just helping embed this behaviour. It's effectively teaching children they can be a prick and their parents will fight off anyone who doesn't like it. So basically **** everybody else, your more important than them.

If you won't parent you child, this lady will parent you!

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