Would you let grown up kids continue to live with you?

My mam moved house after I'd already moved out, so I have never technically lived there. Yet I have a bedroom there, and had a wardrobe and half her attic full of my shyte until a couple of years back.
I know that at any time in the future that little box room will be there no matter when or why I show up needing it. It's a lovely feeling, even as a married 34 year old.

My husband and I don't have kids ourselves, but we both remember being vulnerable at certain times in our lives... without going into it more than necessary, he fell into a deep depression after his father's death, and I was the victim of a violent, criminal ex-husband. He was able to move home with his mother for a while, and I was turned away by parents who felt that my situation was my fault.

We maintain a spare room and any of the children of our extended family are welcome to stay with us for a while if they need to take a time out. At the moment they range from seventeen to due next week, but even when they are adults, we are fine with acting as "spare parents". We've been there.

Story Bud? wrote: »

Jesus Speedwell you poor aul thing

It was twenty-five years ago, it's OK. They were trying to cope with the breakup of their own relationship (they wouldn't have shared it with me) and I think some of the hostility and frustration just slopped over. It was a bad time but we all muddled through. I just don't want any of the kids I love to not have a safe place to be.

OU812 wrote: »

No matter what their circumstance they'll always have a key to our door and the comfort that within these walls they "can scratch anywhere that itches" (as my grandfather used to say).

Not normally one for soppy stuff, but there was a good "open letter" on facebook from a woman to her daughter that was moving out saying stuff along the lines of, "I hope you remember that you are always free to walk through the front door without knocking, open the fridge and make yourself something to eat, kick off your shoes, sit on the couch and watch TV, like you never left in the first place."

I totally get people enjoying having the house to themselves when the children have moved out, and I think it's really weird that parents "keep" bedrooms for their children (as opposed to repainting them and taking the crap out).

But the weirdest is people who would practically treat their children as occassional visitors to their house after they move out, in some cases taking away their keys or refusing to let them move back in temporarily. Just bizarre.

I'm in my mid twenties living at home. It's very much the norm today. Most people I know have no notion of moving out until their late 20's. Why? Because it's pointless unless you're moving from the country to Dublin or moving for a job. I live just outside Dublin and my parents and I know that why would I struggle and strife when I can save for a few years and have peace of mind when I finally do move out.


I did live on my own for a year in a foreign country with my own money. It's not hard. You know why that was? It's because I was able to save and plan. I also find it hilarious this notion of independence that gets thrown around. As if cleaning, cooking and doing washing were the hardest things in the world. This stupid rush to be independent and free has failed so many times among people I know it's ridiculous. Be a different story if I was sitting at home doing nothing and no plans for the future. Then my parents would be kicking my arse. Not the case though. I may have come across a bit smug there but it's only to show the OP that his/her draconian notion of out the door by 24 is pointless and that in many cases it's not the norm.