Would you let grown up kids continue to live with you?

flopflop73 · 20-07-2016 10:08AM #1

I'm struck by the amount of people I know who still live at home.

These are people in their 30's and 40's!

In Dublin the issue seems more pronounced, with rent and house prices being the common excuse as to why a flight from the nest is impossible.
I have one friend who's taken to telling people his mother lives with him! He thinks this makes him sound less like a sad loser and more like a caring guy.

As someone who moved out of home early and values my independence, I find the whole idea very strange indeed. I would certainly be encouraging my kids to stand on their own two feet once they graduate college. There's no way they'll be still living with us in their mid-20's, never mind their mid-40's.

What do others think of this phenomenon?

Speedwell · 20-07-2016 10:10AM

I think you have a very privileged view of the hardships that other people face, mister let-them-eat-cake.

looksee · 20-07-2016 10:15AM

Everyone's circumstances are different, and none of them should concern you. Especially as you apparently have no experience beyond your own personal - and apparently fortunate - circumstances.

Smondie · 20-07-2016 10:16AM

Maybe thier parents need help around the house or has medical issues.

I'm surprised busy bodies have little else to be nosing about. Do you want them to call in to you with a medical certs and an explanation?

20-07-2016 10:17AM

Tis well for you OP. I do hope nothing ever happens to change your current state. Like illness or tragedy or a change in financial circumstances.

GLaDOS · 20-07-2016 10:19AM

Better to be homeless I guess

flopflop73 · 20-07-2016 10:20AM

Speedwell wrote: »

I think you have a very privileged view of the hardships that other people face, mister let-them-eat-cake.

looksee wrote: »

Everyone's circumstances are different, and none of them should concern you. Especially as you apparently have no experience beyond your own personal - and apparently fortunate - circumstances.

Smondie wrote: »

Maybe thier parents need help around the house or has medical issues.

I'm surprised busy bodies have little else to be nosing about. Do you want them to call in to you with a medical certs and an explanation?

Deleted User wrote: »

Tis well for you OP. I do hope nothing ever happens to change your current state. Like illness or tragedy or a change in financial circumstances.

None of the people I know who live at home with their parents are under any kind of financial hardship - it's simple an easier life for them than paying rent or a mortgage in the real-world.

Perhaps you should take your bleeding-heart bolloxology elsewhere?

20-07-2016 10:21AM

flopflop73 wrote: »

Perhaps you should take your bleeding-heart bolloxology elsewhere?

I'm quite content here actually.

Permabear · 20-07-2016 10:23AM

This post has been deleted.

Smondie · 20-07-2016 10:24AM

flopflop73 wrote: »

None of the people I know who live at home with their parents are under any kind of financial hardship - it's simple an easier life for them than paying rent or a mortgage in the real-world.

Perhaps you should take your bleeding-heart bolloxology elsewhere?

ah so your privy to both thier and thier parents financial and medical situations?

How does this affect your life?
Perhaps you should get some hobbies for yourself and stop the curtain twitching

jam_mac_jam · 20-07-2016 10:25AM

So what? If it works for them and they are happy then what harm. I would imagine in some cases that the parents like it as well. Rent is crazy money so if you would prefer to help your parents out and they have the room then what harm. It would not be for me at all but I can see why it would work.

The Backwards Man · 20-07-2016 10:25AM

It must be great to have little to bother you.

Mr. CooL ICE · 20-07-2016 10:26AM

flopflop73 wrote: »

None of the people I know who live at home with their parents are under any kind of financial hardship - it's simple an easier life for them than paying rent or a mortgage in the real-world.

Perhaps you should take your bleeding-heart bolloxology elsewhere?

Mod:

If you really wanted to start a thread where people had to agree with you, you should have perhaps started a blog instead.

This is a discussion site. Play nice.

johnnyryan89 · 20-07-2016 10:26AM

Smondie wrote: »

Maybe thier parents need help around the house or has medical issues.

I'm surprised busy bodies have little else to be nosing about. Do you want them to call in to you with a medical certs and an explanation?

This.

I'm in my mid 20's and live with my grandparents who raised me so could technically say they are my parents and reason being my dad is 73 and has copd and finds it hard getting around and couldn't except my mother whose 70 to do everything around the house.

Lux23 · 20-07-2016 10:29AM

I wish I had stayed at home and saved for a mortgage, then I wouldn't be paying so much money for a crappy flat.

Kimbot · 20-07-2016 10:30AM

flopflop73 wrote: »

None of the people I know who live at home with their parents are under any kind of financial hardship - it's simple an easier life for them than paying rent or a mortgage in the real-world.

Perhaps you should take your bleeding-heart bolloxology elsewhere?

Thats just the people you know

OP i am in my 30's living at home and I have no shame in it, why? Because at 17/18 I moved out and became independent. Just over a year ago I went through a seriously bad patch and for my health and sanity I moved home. I pay my way, help my mother out with work around the place like the garden etc since she is getting on in years. I could easily move out and get my own place again but at the moment I won't because my health is more important than how anyone else views me

looksee · 20-07-2016 10:30AM

I prefer my children to be independent, and they are. I love them to visit but I am happy to have my house to myself. Any of them are totally welcome to stay with me as long as necessary, and they have done so at various times. If both the parents and the children are happy with the situation, why would you care?

_Brian · 20-07-2016 10:30AM

Sure what harm are they doing, every family is different and best left to their own devices.
People looking in commenting know nothing that goes on in those homes.

If everyone minded their own business things would be simpler.

Permabear · 20-07-2016 10:32AM

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andekwarhola · 20-07-2016 10:34AM

I would hope that my kids would be independent enough to make their own lives outside of my house, outside of any hardship or curveballs life will throw at them. I love my parents but I couldn't live with them.

That said, my house is my children's home and always will be. The door will never be closed to them.

There's a lot of different reasons why adult children might end up back in the house. Who am I to judge, and I detest parents that have this approach where there's a set time where their kids have to flee the nest, as if rearing kids is a short-term loan arrangement.

nullzero · 20-07-2016 10:35AM

The reality is, if there was a realistic property market in this country most thirty somethings living at home would not be there. I don't live at home but with rents as they are my family may at some point find ourselves needing a roof over our heads and home is basically the only option.
I do know people who are too lazy/comfortable at home to get off their backsides and get out into the real world, couples in their thirties both living separately in their mammys houses, with parents who'd love to see them start their own lives properly but have come to accept they are too lazy to do so.
It's a complicated situation where every case has different factors at play.

Winterlong · 20-07-2016 10:36AM

Permabear wrote: »

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And I would hope that if my child was able to move in with me to help with a health problem or something that they would be willing to do so.

You know, what families do, help each other!

livedadream · 20-07-2016 10:38AM

i own my house. my parents are retired and live in a different county now.

The sold our family home in cork and moved to what was our summer house, they now live there as well as travelling a fair bit, i was living at home to save for a deposit so when they sold i bought my own home in cork (to be fair with a nice parting gift of couches, beds and other furniture and stuff they no longer wanted :-)).

when they are in cork, they stay with me and have their own room etc etc they keep stuff in my house, i like to think of it as their home too.

ie for christmas etc they come stay for a month or so, so we can all be together.

im 30, i love having them around, it doesnt impact on my life, and its nice to have that dynamic in the house. i also have numerous friends stay over regularly and they dont mind my parents being their (they are quiet young spirited parents to be fair as well though).

ALOT of people have commented to them that it would be easier for me to move out and buy my own house, people seem to think my parents own my house and i simply live there rent free.

another friend of mine bought her family home from her parents when they retired and lives there with them...

just because you live in the same home as your parents doesnt mean they own it.

Your Face · 20-07-2016 10:39AM

I think the OP is hilariously sheltered.
Reminds me of Helen Lovejoy.

Story Bud? · 20-07-2016 10:39AM

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

What he said.

My home will always be my kid's home.

nhunter100 · 20-07-2016 10:40AM

flopflop73 wrote:

Perhaps you should take your bleeding-heart bolloxology elsewhere?

So don't like the replies you received? * proceeds to through toys out of pram*

Permabear · 20-07-2016 10:44AM

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Gerry T · 20-07-2016 10:46AM

Haven't read all posts, but op will you pay the rent for your kids so they can move out. Allowing them to save or progress in work to a stage when they can.

HensVassal · 20-07-2016 10:48AM

flopflop73 wrote: »

None of the people I know who live at home with their parents are under any kind of financial hardship - it's simple an easier life for them than paying rent or a mortgage in the real-world.

Perhaps you should take your bleeding-heart bolloxology elsewhere?

It's not bleeding heart anything, Bud. It's the ability to weigh up possibilities rather than just jump to the catch-all, negative conclusion. Can see you're the type of intolerant bloke who steps over a homeless person and snarls "get a job, bum!"

Lollipops23 · 20-07-2016 10:50AM

Technically I still live at home- my folks spend the majority of the year in France, so I have the place to myself. I don't plan on living at home forever, and had planned to move out before I was diagnosed with MS. TBH scraping money together for a deposit has been the last thing on my mind for the last year.

Loving how self righteous and privilaged the OPs mindset is- you know nothing of people's circumstances.

andekwarhola · 20-07-2016 10:51AM

Permabear wrote: »

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Possibly a relief if the kids are a chip off the old block.

Would you let grown up kids continue to live with you?

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