how dependent are you on your parents still?

Permabear · 29-06-2016 11:58PM

This post has been deleted.

Robsweezie · 30-06-2016 12:02AM

bitty....

johnnyskeleton · 30-06-2016 12:05AM

greenbicycle wrote: »

Their reasoning for it is that they would rather contribute now when they are alive rather than leave it all as inheritance for the tax man to take half of. They earned their money and do not want it going to the state, they would rather it stays in their family.

Lucky for you they dont know that the tax on gifts during life and on inheritance are the same thing.

Unless you mean they intend to evade tax this way!

Fluffy Cat 88 · 30-06-2016 12:06AM

Not dependent on them at all, unless Mr Fluffy and I are on holidays - they feed the menagerie (cats, dog, hens) whilst we are away.

When they're away we feed their pets. Its great to be able to trust someone to do that.

xLisaBx · 30-06-2016 12:14AM

Pretty independent, 100% financially independent too. I'm 20, so would be theoretically part of the whole "generation snowflake" thing, but I moved out to college at 18 and have funded everything since. I find it quite upsetting to see some people in college with me take and take from their parents. Talking 6,000 a year for rent, 3,000 for fees and then living expenses. Crazy.

Permabear · 30-06-2016 12:18AM

This post has been deleted.

Shint0 · 30-06-2016 12:19AM

One has passed and the relationship with the other has always been almost non-existent but there has been some financial contribution many years ago which in some ways was a blessing and a curse.

rubadub · 30-06-2016 01:29AM

Mollyd90 wrote: »

I know you never know what position people are really in but I would never dream of asking or accepting money from my parents at my age.

If you ever get inheritance I have a "charity account" set up at the bank you can donate it all too. I would hate to see your "dream" ruined.

Many older people have more than enough money and would like to see it being enjoyed right now, rather than later on when they are gone, and by the taxman. It's just sensible for both parties in many cases, no asking or begging going on.

30-06-2016 01:35AM

I haven't been financially dependent on my parents since I was in school. I did live at my Mother's place during college holidays so I guess I was dependent that way. Never got any money of them though. And never will in the future. My parents don't have much money, if anything I would be helping them out financially.

I am very close to my Mother though and speak to her on the phone everyday. I go down and visit about once a month. My father lives abroad so only talk to and see him the odd time.

boobar · 30-06-2016 09:20AM

Not at all, in my 40s with my own family now.

I have one daughter and can say without any hesitation that I will help her financially when she wants to buy her own home. I'd rather give it sooner rather than leaving it in the will.

FTA69 · 30-06-2016 09:33AM

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

That's only because you've loads of money and they'll automatically assume then that it's solely your responsibility; "ah sure he's out in America earning a bomb, he'll take care of it. Book the old holiday to Spain there sure..."

It's a very common thing in families and something I've had myself to a much lesser extent than yourself - dumping everything on a relative and opting out of responsibility. The sad thing is, it's not even about the money most of the times in these cases but about someone's basic willingness to help out a sibling in caring for someone who mattered to you both.

LCD · 30-06-2016 09:51AM

Odd bit of dog setting is all I ask of my parents. they supported me through my degree & have asked for nothing since. When I went back to do my masters I funded that myself.

I had an accident recently & my dental bills are going to be massive. I was telling my dad & he offered me money. Wouldn't take it, he should spend his money on himself & mum. They worked hard all their lives

Permabear · 30-06-2016 11:10AM

This post has been deleted.

roscommmon1980 · 30-06-2016 11:11AM

Shint0 wrote: »

One has passed and the relationship with the other has always been almost non-existent but there has been some financial contribution many years ago which in some ways was a blessing and a curse.

Both of mine have passed but what I was left paid for a site and helped me get a mortage

Speedwell · 30-06-2016 11:17AM

My father's medical bills ate almost all of what he had, and my mentally ill brother who lived with him "lost" his will (he didn't know that my other brother and I had agreed to give him everything anyway because he was unable to work, oh well). My mother, quite out of the blue, bought me a good used car as soon as she knew she was not going to recover from the latest round of breast cancer. I needed it and it would have been very mean-spirited to refuse as she knew I needed it and was trying to keep the inheritance from going the same way as Dad's. She left a little after that, though, just barely enough to invest. I bought gold when it was nearly at the bottom and sold it when it was nearly at the top, and it financed my move to Ireland and a year's expenses while I looked for work. But I would not have asked for any of it.

cocker5 · 30-06-2016 11:20AM

Not at all..

roles have reversed i help my parents (well my dad as my mum passed away but before she passed away i helped both).. i help him financially and in many other ways.

RedXIV · 30-06-2016 11:58AM

Definitely not financially dependent but I would use my Dad's handiness around the house regularly enough (DIY is not a strong suit of mine) and I would definitely take advantage of my parents doting on their grandkids for the occasional night of freedom, but like many others, I have gotten to the point where I just enjoy talking to my parents as people who know me well and have plenty of life experience to call upon when I need advice.

Speedwell · 30-06-2016 12:10PM

You know, I don't have kids, but I have several teenage nieces and nephews and a handful of teenage online chat buddies (I think I've been cast in the role of "cool adult"). None of them are dependent on me financially, of course, since they're not my kids, but for the nieces and nephews especially, my husband and I are prepared to be "backup parents" if something were to happen to their actual parents, god forbid. Even without that, I'm ready to help in case of an emergency. Regarding one of the nieces and her two brothers, I think their father is a colossal jerk who is likely to leave them to sink or swim when they first leave home. If I'm the only aunt willing to stand between them and homelessness because of a lost job, hunger because of a late paycheck, or an unwanted pregnancy due to contraceptive failure, well, I understand that sh!t happens that isn't always your fault. With the cash help will go lessons in coping and doing for yourself, though, because I believe in teaching a person to fish as much as giving them a fish when they're hungry. If it means driving them to work for a few weeks until they get enough money to start paying for a car, or talking to a landlord on their behalf, or buying a plane ticket, I'm good for it. Vulnerable fledgling kids need friends.

Permabear · 30-06-2016 01:09PM

This post has been deleted.

The One Doctor · 30-06-2016 02:09PM

Mollyd90 wrote: »

I know you never know what position people are really in but I would never dream of asking or accepting money from my parents at my age. I believe you should paddle your own canoe as best you can.

I know you're on the internet so you can have any outlandish opinion you want, but I'd take whatever help is offered. Myself and my fiance are unemployed and we have an 18 month old daughter. If my fiance's parents hadn't offered us the use of their hope we would be homeless.

I'm sure if that happened to you you'd take the homeless option, but I care very deeply for my daughter and fiance. I'm not a fan of living with my inlaws but I'll gladly do it if it means my family is safe, warm and happy.

30-06-2016 02:52PM

Would agree with helping children if they need it, mine as adult have never asked me except for very minor things, it was different when they were teens, However if they though they were entitled to it then no.

Speedwell · 30-06-2016 02:56PM

mariaalice wrote: »

Would agree with helping children if they need it, mine as adult have never asked me except for very minor things, it was different when they were teens, However if they though they were entitled to it then no.

Fledgling young people are entitled to help from their families. That is what families are for. If they're kicked out of the nest without the knowledge and resources to be able to fly, and parents and society allow them to blunder about helplessly on the ground, then it's their fault if the young one falls prey to those who target the vulnerable.

Dodge · 30-06-2016 03:03PM

I left home as soon as I was working. Not out of any "I'm a strong independent man" BS but just because I wanted my own space. I haven't got any financial help since I left college but now I'd be LOST without my mam (and my mother-in-law) picking our daughter up from school

Luckily, my mam adores her only grandchild so I don't feel like we're giving her any burden. I talk more to my folks now than I did when I lived there

30-06-2016 03:13PM

Speedwell wrote: »

Fledgling young people are entitled to help from their families. That is what families are for. If they're kicked out of the nest without the knowledge and resources to be able to fly, and parents and society allow them to blunder about helplessly on the ground, then it's their fault if the young one falls prey to those who target the vulnerable.

This is he way I see it, if a parent is doing the child minding because the children can barley afford to live that is a good and supportive family. If the children are asking the parents to do the childminding so they can have the money that should be spent on child care for a sun holiday they are taking that is taking advantage.

I fully intend to help my children financially with major life events after all they will get it when I am dead and might as well have it when I am alive.

Electric Sheep · 30-06-2016 04:56PM

Xyzforsure wrote: »

No shame in asking the parents for a helping out when needed.

Id imagine it is more common in today's cash strapped society.

Today's cash strapped society?! I can assure you previous generations were much more cash strapped, but less entitlement minded.

Electric Sheep · 30-06-2016 05:04PM

FTA69 wrote: »

That's only because you've loads of money and they'll automatically assume then that it's solely your responsibility; "ah sure he's out in America earning a bomb, he'll take care of it. Book the old holiday to Spain there sure..."

It's a very common thing in families and something I've had myself to a much lesser extent than yourself - dumping everything on a relative and opting out of responsibility. The sad thing is, it's not even about the money most of the times in these cases but about someone's basic willingness to help out a sibling in caring for someone who mattered to you both.

Not only that - they think you "owe" them for emigrating. The hand is always out.

Speedwell · 30-06-2016 05:06PM

The vulnerable elderly are also entitled to the help and company of their families. That's what families are about.

Baggly · 30-06-2016 05:12PM

0-16 - dependant
16-26 - independent
Got married at 26, so was reliant upon their gift to help pay for the wedding.
Had our first daughter at 27, and am dependent on my mother for child care 1 day a week
Had our second daughter a couple of months ago, so she will be going to Granny for minding in a few months.

Also reliant on my dad for general car advise and fixes.

That being said, since i became a dad, my parents general strength and dexterity has taken a dip, so i am doing more and more handiwork around the house. It was cutting 8ft briars a couple of months ago. Oh and 24/7 IT consultations are FOC as well. And said consultations are called upon regularly.

So maybe its a mutually beneficial dependency?

Ah who am i kidding - im getting the better deal.

deathtocaptcha · 30-06-2016 05:19PM

Not at all but I think it's an extremely loaded question designed to belittle people who live at home or can't support themselves for whatever reason.

How about you mind your own business and stop worrying about how other people live their lives?

You never know what people are going through or what their family status / situation is unless they open up to you and tell you. I know people who've moved back home to look after elderly parents. From the outside looking in, you could easily assume the person lost a job, couldn't find more work and moved back home as they couldn't support themselves but the reality is they're just good people sacrificing themselves to look after family...

Shint0 · 30-06-2016 05:20PM

I would be similar to Speedwell in that I don't have kids but there are very few in the next generation of the family. I have decided I am probably not going to bequeath anything to them as they already stand to inherit generous assets so I might start thinking soon of a reputable cause to donate some of my assets.

Having said that I might reconsider as one of those young children appears to be showing some difficulties. There isn't much of a relationship as things currently stand as their mother tends to like to have only her own family involved even though she is generously provided for in the marriage and contributed little to nothing in terms of assets herself. Such is life. I don't get involved but if that child ever found themselves in difficulty in the future my door would always be open for them.

how dependent are you on your parents still?

Comments