Public displays of affection

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I do wonder about very obvious public displays. Is there perhaps an unconscious need to show "ownership" or a kind of "look what I have and I'm going to show you how amazing we are".

The couple who can sit in comfortable silence, maybe having a Sunday coffee and both reading the paper, no great desire to constantly touch and kiss, that to me shows a long lasting love and the ability to find intimacy in just each other's company alone.

Personally I am a touchy feely kind of person and so is my boyfriend so that just wouldn't work. And in my own relationship sitting together in silence would mean "there's something underlying and we need to talk".

I guess everyone is different with these things and read the room, if people around seem uncomfortable then just stop but in my experience Irish people don't tend to care at all.

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I do wonder about very obvious public displays. Is there perhaps an unconscious need to show "ownership" or a kind of "look what I have and I'm going to show you how amazing we are".

The couple who can sit in comfortable silence, maybe having a Sunday coffee and both reading the paper, no great desire to constantly touch and kiss, that to me shows a long lasting love and the ability to find intimacy in just each other's company alone.

Or it could mean that they're bored senseless of each other. It's a fine line.

Few years ago I was in the Gate theater (I'm not posh, won the tickets on Classic Hits). Was really enjoying this play but there was this couple in front of us who wouldn't leave each other alone. She had her hand permanently on the back oh his head running her fingers through his hair giving the fcuker a non-stop scalp massage. Was annoying the arse off me so I tapped her on the arm and in a hush whisper said 'Excuse me but that's very distracting'. She turned her head and looked at me with her posh surprised scowl and then dismissively turned back around continuing on as before, giving her significant other this seemingly never ending Indian head massage. So without really thinking about it I shouted "Lady will you please stop distracting me!". Well she whipped her hand away from his head as if she was on 'I'm a celeb..' and had just realized that her hand had been in a box of tarantulas. The interval was a little awkward I have to say.

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

Few years ago I was in the Gate theater (I'm not posh, won the tickets on Classic Hits). Was really enjoying this play but there was this couple in front of us who wouldn't leave each other alone. She had her hand permanently on the back oh his head running her fingers through his hair

a) I would deem your reaction out of order- it's hardly indecent.

b) I wish I had someone who would run their fingers through my hair

c) I wish I had hair

cantdecide wrote: »

a) I would deem your reaction out of order- it's hardly indecent.

b) I wish I had someone who would run their fingers through my hair

c) I wish I had hair

It wasn't indecent, but it was bothering him and I fully understand how it could be annoying to see a hand moving up and down in your direct vision. He paid good money for those tickets (they don't have to know it was classic fm or whatever).

cantdecide wrote: »

a) I would deem your reaction out of order- it's hardly indecent.

Not indecent, just irritatingly inconsiderate plus in my defense she did have very long white painted finger nails and about seven different rings. The couple beside us thanked me as we were leaving which I wasn't surprised at as they had been sighing and rolling their eyes in her direction from the outset also. To be honest I'd much rather she'd have done an Alanis Morissette on him than rolled and waved her hand in our faces, which essentially what her head massage amounted to.

Otherwise though, I'm not really bothered by public displays of affection. Seen a few couples in cinemas over the years doing all sorts of things to one another but if they're not making noise or whatever then I'm not bothered.

Being offended by PDAs is just an extension of the modern attitude of many that they some-how have a say in the (legal) behavior of others. And even then most of it is driven by simple jealousy. Personally, my only reaction to PDAs between a couple is to smile and feel a desire to be in proximity with my own partner.

(Note: I am talking about PDAs between couple in a relationship, Not Public Indecency or Drunk Strangers or Music Festivals )

I was on the train a couple of years ago, 1 day after being dumped, a 2 year relationship, was feeling pretty down, when i hear this guy behind me kissing his girlfriend and saying to her" im mad about you" and kissing again, I was like just kill me now lol looking back on it, im glad she broke up with me but at the time, they really picked the wrong seat that day.

Once at a festival my boyfriend and I encountered a couple who were actually pretty aggressive with their PDAs. We were enjoying the band that was playing when the couple pushed in front of us and stood there necking, groping and looking over at us every few seconds. We moved away from them and they followed us and did the exact same thing. We moved twice more and they followed again.

The last straw was when the guy actually lifted up his girlfriend, plonked her against my boyfriend's side and pretty much started grinding against her, knocking both of us into the people beside me. We ended up having to push the hobags away. Holding hands and having the odd kiss and cuddle in public is sweet but those sorts of aggressive displays are pretty much out of order.