If you were omnipotent

Green Hand Guy · 24-02-2003 8:03pm #1

If you were omnipotent, what would you do?

Personally I'd rearrange the world into a more "Lord of the Rings" type of place.
Remove geroge bush's eyelids and lock him in a tanning booth.
Have Bagpuss destroyed.
Build a big white tower for me to live in, with an army of monkey-men to guard it.
Have Barry reeducated to be a better person.
Declare myself the worlds greatest sex machine.

It wasn't me! · 25-02-2003 2:13pm

All of the above. And of course, steal all of Bill Gates's money and watch him die in the gutter.

Mystic Fibrosis · 25-02-2003 9:34pm

If?

nosmo · 26-02-2003 8:03pm

I'd crown Bagpuss king of all living (and undead).I'm sorry. Bagpuss ficking rocks.

Barry Aldwell · 26-02-2003 8:13pm

Originally posted by Green Hand Guy
Have Barry reeducated to be a better person.

You may try, but you will surely fail.

I'd probably make everyone think that me killing people was perfectly normal, and go around with an M60.

smiles · 28-02-2003 1:32am

make things better,

Utopia here we come.

<< Fio >>

Dalamar · 28-02-2003 11:02pm

Sharpen the 'spike' in dublin, and throw people i don't like on top of it. such as Bush, and ermm.... the scumbags in my town...
Lotsa stuff.......

Scarinae · 28-02-2003 11:51pm

BAGPUSS ROX CHAIRS!!!

I think Westlife need to be flung on top of that spike as well

lordsippa · 01-03-2003 1:42pm

Buy a box of tissues... and maybe a hatchet...

Oh and of course give myself powers akin to Akira. Oh the powers... Oh the powers... oh and i'd make the rain stop now so i could go to town.

Barry Aldwell · 01-03-2003 8:17pm

Originally posted by Fishie
I think Westlife need to be flung on top of that spike as well

And whoever came up with the idea of The Salon. What person in their right mind wants to watch C list celebs get their hair cut on tv?

ll=llannah · 02-03-2003 2:22am

I think Westlife need to be flung on top of that spike as well

they really should be on that spike...
when i got into dublin airport before ctyi last summer there was this huge poster with them on it saying "Welcome to the World of Westlife!" It was so frightening I almost ran back onto the plane.

sisob · 02-03-2003 1:47pm

I'd create a free love society - no vd and no accidental pregnancy

shep the malevolent pixie · 02-03-2003 6:28pm

Originally posted by lordsippa
oh and i'd make the rain stop now so i could go to town.

you lazy-ass b_astard! i went in anyway! yes, i got absolutely soaked but i danced and it was fun. grr and so forth. .>:-(

there are precious few people posting here these days...

sHep :cool:

Barry Aldwell · 02-03-2003 7:34pm

Originally posted by shep the malevolent pixie
there are precious few people posting here these days...

That's because there's precious few threads to post on, adn that's because there's precious few ctyi-specific things to talk about. It'll probably start to pick up soon, as discussion of what course people are doing increases.

Mystic Fibrosis · 02-03-2003 8:07pm

I'd make Ibanez make LEFT-handed 7 strings. Grr......

lordsippa · 02-03-2003 9:05pm

I did go into town in the end. And oddly when I finally got sufficiently bored to do so the rain stopped. Still didn't get in till 4 though. Stayed in till 9.... so it all worked out in the end.

Erm.. I'd make pokey update more.

NeoSlicerZ · 02-03-2003 9:30pm

I'd get Galway Free broadband , get myself a supercomputer and probably a Gundam for the hell of it and a set of morals for the human race

It wasn't me! · 03-03-2003 6:46pm

Now who in their right minds would want a stupid thing like a set of god-forsaken morals!

Happy CTYI guy · 03-03-2003 8:44pm

People with GUNDAMS!!!!

nosmo · 05-03-2003 9:15am

Originally posted by lordsippa
Erm.. I'd make pokey update more.

I wuold just cede my throne to Pokey. :cool:

nosmo · 05-03-2003 9:18am

On second thoughts.. Cross breed Pokey with Bagpuss!

strawberry · 07-03-2003 8:47am

A lot more things would be purple.
Used to have a purple penguin, and I know that purple dinosaur is bashing around my room somewhere.......

nosmo · 07-03-2003 9:32am

Originally posted by strawberry
...I know that purple dinosaur is bashing around my room somewhere.......

BARNEY IS EVIL! Kill IT!

sisob · 07-03-2003 7:38pm

Not every purple dinosaur is Barney. Mine existed years before that purple demon, and doesn't stand on two legs or talk or sing idiot songs.

-Grace.

Barry Aldwell · 07-03-2003 8:48pm

Originally posted by sisob
Not every purple dinosaur is Barney.

But most are. And they should die. Slowly. And burningly(tm).

Scarinae · 10-04-2003 9:52pm

Far more things SHOULD be purple. I looked through a pair of purple sunglasses the other day and the world looked a lot nicer.
I was reminded of Pokey the Penguin earlier today when I had my fortune told by a penguin called Percy. He advised me to avoid bouncy castles at all costs because I would be killed by an evil troll

lordsippa · 11-04-2003 4:17pm

hmm... if I were omnipotent... some sort of universal "making people burn when (not if) they fail me" device would be fun... VERY fun. In the burny way.

Typedef · 11-04-2003 4:49pm

Originally posted by smiles
make things better,

Utopia here we come.

http://www.ubergeek.tv/switchback/

Yeah umm Macintosh is Iceland

lordsippa · 11-04-2003 5:50pm

actually... i wanna BIG wooden board. With a single nail in it... oh the fun i'd have then.

And candy floss...

Barry Aldwell · 11-04-2003 6:16pm

Originally posted by lordsippa
actually... i wanna BIG wooden board. With a single nail in it... oh the fun i'd have then.

"They have defeated us now, but they will make bigger boards, with bigger nails in them, until they destroy themselves! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

(I know it's not right, but it's 6 months since I saw that Simpsons episode, and I'm not going to go through some online archive just for one quote)

Zukustious · 13-04-2003 1:08pm

Go back in time about 15 billion years(the American billion) and create the universe.

Oh look, I did it.

strawberry · 14-04-2003 8:39am

American billions are different from those of the rest of the world?

lordsippa · 14-04-2003 6:23pm

I knew it! I knew they'd eventually cross that line and make a different billion! DAMMIT!

Poochy · 22-04-2003 12:46pm

Well I would make myself more omnipitent of course. And i'd make an even greater lovin' machine, if that's possible.

lordsippa · 23-04-2003 4:54pm

I'd make it better... no... BIGGER... or... maybe better... hmm...

If I were omnipotent, I'd make up my mind.

Zukustious · 29-04-2003 9:20pm

Wouldn't omnipetence get boring after a while. You have everything there is to get, every ability, every experience, anything you want. Seems depressing knowing that you've come to the end of the path before your life is over.

lordsippa · 30-04-2003 6:58pm

Don't be silly

purplepolkadot · 04-05-2003 12:06am

like that thing may all your wishes but one come true so you may always have something to strive for. something something.

if i were omnipotent there's be more: purple, glitter in some forms, furry items, monkeys, PENGUINS,
everyone i wanted to would: bow down before me and wash me feet with their tears jesus-style.
there's be less: of people i don't like, in fact, i'd have a ****peoplezapper and zap them all to infinity. and of course; beyond.
everyone else would be like equally treated and equally well off except for me. i'd have a palace. and slaves. slaves who worked in shift-work so that they kept up with the equally well-off and treated thing.
and i'd be really really clever. and i'd have an art collection.
and a dog. a big dog.

lordsippa · 04-05-2003 12:36am

I'd make a sandwich... only a BETTER sandwich.

And i'd go to bed.

Zukustious · 04-05-2003 11:50am

Originally posted by lordsippa
I'd make a sandwich... only a BETTER sandwich.

And i'd go to bed.

Is this one of those sandwiches that's better than itself, so it's infinitely better? That would be cool.

I would make a superintelligent penguin to rule over Penguinea with an Iron fist. His only flaw: The sun makes him sneeze.

Green Hand Guy · 27-05-2003 6:45pm

Omnipotence would never get boring. You could just use your powers to make boredom not exist.

Scarinae · 27-05-2003 8:23pm

Why would the penguin need a flaw? Is it because it it was perfect, it would be better than you? Or is it because the perfect penguin would be so powerful it could use its powers to change the world as it saw fit? What would a PENGUIN do if it were omnipotent, thats what I'd really like to know...

Green Hand Guy · 28-05-2003 9:43pm

Probably make a lot of fish, I suppose. And then maybe eat them. And it might make itself be able to fly, or at least look up without falling over.

Scarinae · 27-06-2003 12:17am

Oh, to be a penguin

Imagine if you could just erase all memory of Atomic Kitten ever existing though... Wow...

Zukustious · 03-07-2003 10:07pm

I'd create the universe again but less complicated. It would only have one basic form of matter in it, cork. There's something about cork that mystifies me and I'd like to see a universe constructed of cork. That and super dense cork.

Scarinae · 11-07-2003 12:20am

Ooh I have a pair of shoes with heels made out of cork, they're soooo cool! And I sound like such a girl. But I'm not that mad about shoes, honestly
What the hell is cork made out of anyway?

lordsippa · 11-07-2003 12:40am

I'm gonna guess at wood chips.

Zukustious · 11-07-2003 6:26pm

Wood chips, eh? The mystery just gets deeper and deeper...

I guess I'd have to declare wood as an element, and then things shall start to get more complicated. So the new Universe idea is no longer a good one.:(

Havelock · 23-07-2003 9:43am

Its Bark, a layer of bark. Enough about cork.

I would create multi-verses, A Disc-World, Some of the worlds from Sliders. And A Purple world for those who want it. And of course Penguniea!

Em' make portals into peoples heads, like in Being John Malovich.

Give myself some musical talent, make my facial hair black instead of red. (my hair is black).

Make time stand still, so I can walk around causing little choas and balancing it with random acts of senseless and random acts of kindness and beauty.

Unmake all crap music of the past 10 years, and slowly torture all the producers, excutives, "artists" and everyone they know and care for and their neighbours.

Enforce Happyness and Joy on the world under my unrelenting rule of oppression and dracoian laws.

Have them make more Family Guy epsiodes.

Make Vampirism and Chocolism acceptable sexual practices.

Make everyone smarter, prettier, and cleaner. Also madder, more fun and fans of cats.

Make Ireland the seat of my Empire, remove reality TV, TV3, Talk Radio, Scangers, Scum bags, Shweans (there's a lingustics problem) and snobby elitests (Except me).

And save America from Republicans, Democrats, Fox TV, Rubert Murdock, Bill Gates, and all those other gob****es.

Looser Gun Control, Better Health Care, No Tabacco, Free Grass/Weed/Cannabis, No Dutch Gold, More Good Wine. Find Atlantis, Raise the Titanic, Build an underground secret base, a moon base, a space station, a creepy gothic castle, and employ stupid guards with all the survivablity of a tub of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia at a a stoner party to clelebrate the end of the 48 hour fasting and the reent resuppling of good weed after a 2 month drought of the stuff.

Change my name on a day to day baises, "HE who should not be named", Dr.Evil. Claw. Stewie. Dogbert. etc

Oh, and bring about world peace, end suffering, and save mankind, but only after I've had a whole lota fun first.

Hehehehehehehehhe

Spenguin · 25-07-2003 2:19pm

Were I omnipotent I would destroy all the tyrants of the world, and also every one who disagrees with me. And I would replace Irish in the school curriculum with some sort of... monkey lingo. Like the one that lets you know what the little dudes are saying when they insult you in that game with the monkeys. Monkey Island. And I would give myself the title: queen of the pirates. And I would make every one have a tail so they could type and use the mouse at the same time like zimbo.

Mystic Fibrosis · 25-07-2003 2:24pm

Can I have special powers then? I likes me teh powers...

If you were omnipotent

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