Heterosexual Questionnaire

Annasopra

HETEROSEXUAL QUESTIONNAIRE

This questionnaire is for self-avowed heterosexuals only. If you are not openly heterosexual, pass it on to a friend who is. Please try to answer the questions as candidly as possible. Your responses will be held in strict confidence and your anonymity fully protected.

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?

3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?

4. Could it be that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

5. If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, how can you be sure you wouldn’t prefer that?

6. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?

7. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyle?

8. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can’t you just be what you are and keep it quiet?

9. Would you want your children to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they’d face?

10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual men. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual male teachers, pediatricians, priests, or scoutmasters?

11. With all the societal support for marriage, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

12. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

13. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?

14. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don’t you fear s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?

15. Heterosexuals are notorious for assigning themselves and one another rigid, stereotyped sex roles. Why must you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?

16. With the sexually segregated living conditions of military life, isn’t heterosexuality incompatible with military service?

17. How can you enjoy an emotionally fulfilling experience with a person of the other sex when there are such vast differences between you? How can a man know what pleases a woman sexually or vice-versa?

18. Shouldn’t you ask your far-out straight cohorts, like skinheads and born-agains, to keep quiet? Wouldn’t that improve your image?

19. Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?

20. Why do you attribute heterosexuality to so many famous lesbian and gay people? Is it to justify your own heterosexuality?

21. How can you hope to actualize your God-given homosexual potential if you limit yourself to exclusive, compulsive heterosexuality?

22. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. After all, you never deliberately chose to be a heterosexual, did you? Have you considered aversion therapy or Heterosexuals Anonymous?

Gordon

lol

I hope to answer that soon...

STaN

hmmmm

phreak

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

1. Boobies.

2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?

2. When: i reached puberty
How: i had my first kiss

3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?

3. Maybe, but i doubt it.

4. Could it be that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

4. I don't think so.

5. If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, how can you be sure you wouldn’t prefer that?

5. i wouldn't know where to put it...

6. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?

6. Everyone. Quite suprised actually.

7. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyle?

7. I can't answer for all hetrosexuals. Personally i don't care what sexual orientation someone is.

8. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can’t you just be what you are and keep it quiet?

8. If i don't flaunt it, how will anyone know i'm hetrosexual?

9. Would you want your children to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they’d face?

9. Yes.

10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual men. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual male teachers, pediatricians, priests, or scoutmasters?

10. I wouldn't leave my children with any man(hetrosexual or homosexual) unless i was sure they would be safe.

11. With all the societal support for marriage, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

11. is it any different for homosexuals?

12. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

12. its fun ?

13. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?

13. it wouldn't survive.

14. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don’t you fear s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?

14. is anyone ever really and truely objective?

15. Heterosexuals are notorious for assigning themselves and one another rigid, stereotyped sex roles. Why must you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?

15. healthy or otherwise, role-playing can be fun.

16. With the sexually segregated living conditions of military life, isn’t heterosexuality incompatible with military service?

16. not really. it makes seeing your loved ones more special when you do.

17. How can you enjoy an emotionally fulfilling experience with a person of the other sex when there are such vast differences between you? How can a man know what pleases a woman sexually or vice-versa?

17. Finding out is the fun part.

18. Shouldn’t you ask your far-out straight cohorts, like skinheads and born-agains, to keep quiet? Wouldn’t that improve your image?

18. i'll get back to you on that one. i'm not sure where your coming from.

19. Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?

19. i didn't know they were.

20. Why do you attribute heterosexuality to so many famous lesbian and gay people? Is it to justify your own heterosexuality?

20. I don't

21. How can you hope to actualize your God-given homosexual potential if you limit yourself to exclusive, compulsive heterosexuality?

21. I'm not sure about my God-given homosexual potential but i don't really want to explore it.

22. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. After all, you never deliberately chose to be a heterosexual, did you? Have you considered aversion therapy or Heterosexuals Anonymous?

22. I think i'm ok. I don't really want to attend Heterosexuals Anonymous. I think i'll go on living in denial

Kell

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
a) Older brothers porn, page three and centrefolds.

2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
b) I've subconciously known about it from the word go.

3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
c) Not a chance. Lets see, perfroming cunnilingus vs fellatio. I'll take cunnilingus any day.

4. Could it be that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
d) No

5. If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, how can you be sure you wouldn’t prefer that?
e) It wasnt me. I was no-where near the vicinity.

6. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?
f) All and sundry. They love it and I love them and we all live in a big cummune.

7. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyle?
g) I dont fit that profile sorry. About 20% of my friends are gay and I dont feel compelled to "convert" them to the lighter side of the meadow.

8. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can’t you just be what you are and keep it quiet?
h) How would other heterosexuals find out about my fetishes then?

9. Would you want your children to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they’d face?
i) I'd rather have horses and dogs thanks. The worlds a nasty place populated by muppets and puppeteers. I couldnt live with myself if I inflicted the world on my children.

10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual men. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual male teachers, pediatricians, priests, or scoutmasters?
j) Yes- unless you want all teachers to be women or gay. Asked whether parents would prefer gay teachers or teachers that are kiddy fiddlers, I think most would still opt for the kiddy fiddler.

11. With all the societal support for marriage, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?
k) Lack of honesty, upfrontness and confusing sex for love in a relationship.

12. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
l) No idea to be honest.

13. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?
m) Immediate sterilisation of all males and females, with the cream of the intelligent, creative sperm and ovum held in stasis until the bulk of the planet has died. Then we can re-create a brave new world populated with thinkers.

14. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don’t you fear s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?
n) Yes. They hold certifications based on lateral thinking not "Your not a member of my master race, so you're obviuously wrong".

15. Heterosexuals are notorious for assigning themselves and one another rigid, stereotyped sex roles. Why must you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?
o) I am up for anything much in the sex department, so long as it doesnt involve anything putting up my arse.

16. With the sexually segregated living conditions of military life, isn’t heterosexuality incompatible with military service?
p) Probably.

17. How can you enjoy an emotionally fulfilling experience with a person of the other sex when there are such vast differences between you? How can a man know what pleases a woman sexually or vice-versa?
q) There are books and experiences to teach you that. Besides, if everyone was honest, your partner would tell you what turns them on.

18. Shouldn’t you ask your far-out straight cohorts, like skinheads and born-agains, to keep quiet? Wouldn’t that improve your image?
r) Skinheads unite!

19. Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?
s) Why not?

20. Why do you attribute heterosexuality to so many famous lesbian and gay people? Is it to justify your own heterosexuality?
t) Historically I think that most famous people would prefer to be thought of as heterosexual so as not to offend the public and make social acceptance easier. Boy George and others changed all that. Now look at the state of contemporary music. Tch.

21. How can you hope to actualize your God-given homosexual potential if you limit yourself to exclusive, compulsive heterosexuality?
u) Lets see. Suck cock or be a clit commander? No contest. Clitty does it for me.

22. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. After all, you never deliberately chose to be a heterosexual, did you? Have you considered aversion therapy or Heterosexuals Anonymous?
v) Lets see. Performing cunnilingus or giving a bloke a BJ in the jax in the George. Cunnilingus for me.

Gordon

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
Boobies also.

2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
When I first saw a naked picture of a gurl. And when I first kissed a clothed gurl.

3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
Nah.

4. Could it be that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
No, I like boobies.

5. If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, how can you be sure you wouldn’t prefer that?
Good point. I guess I know because I don't get turned on by male bodies.

6. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?
Heh, actually not many people come to think of it!

7. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyle?
Do you think they do?

8. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can’t you just be what you are and keep it quiet?
Heh, I'm a drama queen!

9. Would you want your children to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they’d face?
Don't mind, if they find it difficult being hetero, I'll do anything I can to make them happy for it.

10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual men. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual male teachers, pediatricians, priests, or scoutmasters?
No I think that anyone coming into contact with my children should be eunuchs

11. With all the societal support for marriage, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?
Because they are all living a lie I tells ya!

12. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
Because they are dirty dirty people.

13. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?
It would be awful, all those women getting jeered at by builders *shudder*

14. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don’t you fear s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?
Again, I must insist on eunuchs

15. Heterosexuals are notorious for assigning themselves and one another rigid, stereotyped sex roles. Why must you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?
Coz I'm durty durty durty

16. With the sexually segregated living conditions of military life, isn’t heterosexuality incompatible with military service?
Yes, they should all be homosexual and they should all be naked when they run into battle tbh.

17. How can you enjoy an emotionally fulfilling experience with a person of the other sex when there are such vast differences between you? How can a man know what pleases a woman sexually or vice-versa?
Good point. I just like boobies that much!

18. Shouldn’t you ask your far-out straight cohorts, like skinheads and born-agains, to keep quiet? Wouldn’t that improve your image?
No, it would make me happier though.

19. Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?
Coz we're dirty baby, yeah!

20. Why do you attribute heterosexuality to so many famous lesbian and gay people? Is it to justify your own heterosexuality?
Yes.

21. How can you hope to actualize your God-given homosexual potential if you limit yourself to exclusive, compulsive heterosexuality?
/me starts to turn to the dark side

22. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. After all, you never deliberately chose to be a heterosexual, did you? Have you considered aversion therapy or Heterosexuals Anonymous?
Ok, I admit it.... I am gay.



I have to point out to anyone that is confused at this thread: This was posted on the GLB board as an amusing turnaround on heterosexual peoples statements towards homosexual people. It really isn't serious as far as I know. It is tongue in cheek - or as you homo's say - c*ck in cheek

yellum

Lol Gordo !

Actually I meant to keep a copy of this in the GLB forum as a new thread. Can you copy over this ?

Oeneus

Dude! If I could be a lesbian, I would be!:rolleyes:

9. Would you want your children to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they’d face?

Stupid question to ask. First you try and persude us to be gay, then expect us to have children? Like yeah! I'd really want my child to get screwed up the arse by another guy! If I had a daughter I wouldn't care if she was gay, but if I had a gay son, he can pack his bloody bags!

P.S. Lesbians will rule the Universe!

the Guru

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
kylies bum

2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
When I saw kylies bum

3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
If Kylies bum got big

4. Could it be that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
Huh ?

5. If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, how can you be sure you wouldn’t prefer that?
huh ?

6. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?
My mum she was happy

7. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyle?
I dont know maybe they feel left out as its now trendy to be gay.

8. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can’t you just be what you are and keep it quiet?
Then I would never get to pull kylie

9. Would you want your children to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they’d face?
Yes / no the girls could be with kylie

10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual men. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual male teachers, pediatricians, priests, or scoutmasters?
NO

11. With all the societal support for marriage, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?
Because every one is shagging around and you always want more .

12. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
Beacuse of breeding i reckon that what they do

13. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?
we would be f**ked but they may evolve

14. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don’t you fear s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?
I dont know

15. Heterosexuals are notorious for assigning themselves and one another rigid, stereotyped sex roles. Why must you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?
Huh

16. With the sexually segregated living conditions of military life, isn’t heterosexuality incompatible with military service?
its the fear of ther Sexual tendencys why would you want to join the army

17. How can you enjoy an emotionally fulfilling experience with a person of the other sex when there are such vast differences between you? How can a man know what pleases a woman sexually or vice-versa?
Ask them or there ex partners

18. Shouldn’t you ask your far-out straight cohorts, like skinheads and born-agains, to keep quiet? Wouldn’t that improve your image?
yes there Strange

19. Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?
because they get pissed and get horny

20. Why do you attribute heterosexuality to so many famous lesbian and gay people? Is it to justify your own heterosexuality?
Because its cool now to be gay

21. How can you hope to actualize your God-given homosexual potential if you limit yourself to exclusive, compulsive heterosexuality?
Huh

22. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. After all, you never deliberately chose to be a heterosexual, did you? Have you considered aversion therapy or Heterosexuals Anonymous?
What ???

The Gopher

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
The need to get laid

2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
God knows.When your under 6 you like girls.Then you hate them.When your about 12 you like them again.Lets hope thats where the cycle ends.

3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
Ya callin me a fag?Oil bate ya!

4. Could it be that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

Eh,no.
5. If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, how can you be sure you wouldn’t prefer that?
Because Ive been to prison and spent 6 months in a 6x4 cell with a large sex starved redneck called Bubba.

6. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?

Yer ma,when I showed her me nob.Sorry but this is a silly survey.
7. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyle?
Because every 100% lesbian lost to the world of homosexuality is one less we can ride.We just like girls who become lesbians with their best friend for our entertainment and pleausre.

8. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can’t you just be what you are and keep it quiet?
Oh be nice*saying that in big deep manly voice BTW*

9. Would you want your children to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they’d face?

Er,yeah.
10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual men. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual male teachers, pediatricians, priests, or scoutmasters?

Priests?
11. With all the societal support for marriage, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

Cos we want more pussy.
12. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

Anwser same as above.
13. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?

Yes.
14. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don’t you fear s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?
What??!!?

15. Heterosexuals are notorious for assigning themselves and one another rigid, stereotyped sex roles. Why must you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?
Because role playing is one of my perverse fetishs and.....oh wait i misread the question.

16. With the sexually segregated living conditions of military life, isn’t heterosexuality incompatible with military service?
Back in Nam me and my whole platoon rode a 16 year old called Ming Li.One of us got her pregnant.Hope it was me,the stupid whore.And it only cost us 1 dollar 50 for the 12 of us.

17. How can you enjoy an emotionally fulfilling experience with a person of the other sex when there are such vast differences between you? How can a man know what pleases a woman sexually or vice-versa?

Because we watch porn stupid.
18. Shouldn’t you ask your far-out straight cohorts, like skinheads and born-agains, to keep quiet? Wouldn’t that improve your image?

The skangers will not be silenced!
19. Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?

Same anwser as number 11 and 12.
20. Why do you attribute heterosexuality to so many famous lesbian and gay people? Is it to justify your own heterosexuality?
What??!!?

21. How can you hope to actualize your God-given homosexual potential if you limit yourself to exclusive, compulsive heterosexuality?

I dont intend to.Bubba would disapprove.
22. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. After all, you never deliberately chose to be a heterosexual, did you? Have you considered aversion therapy or Heterosexuals Anonymous?
Nah,Id miss the pussy.

hacktavist

This is the stupidest questionaire ever.



4. Could it be that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

No because most males have male freinds and females have female freinds

6. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?

Why would we have to everyone knows. its asumed your hetrosexual.
its normal like.

7. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyle?

they dont.

8. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can’t you just be what you are and keep it quiet?

what about all them gay pride marches and parades do you think anyone cares your gay.

9. Would you want your children to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they’d face?

They will have more problems as gays.

10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual men. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual male teachers, pediatricians, priests, or scoutmasters?

where does sexual orientation come in to it?
there either molesters or not.

11. With all the societal support for marriage, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

Well gays cant get married so they wont be getting divorces so how do we know its any different

12. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

dont gays?

13. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?

how would it have survied if there were gays they probably would have died out.

14. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don’t you fear s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?

wtf?

15. Heterosexuals are notorious for assigning themselves and one another rigid, stereotyped sex roles. Why must you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?

unhealthy?

16. With the sexually segregated living conditions of military life, isn’t heterosexuality incompatible with military service?

its hardly practical to have all armys made up of gays, theyd all be distracted anyway.

17. How can you enjoy an emotionally fulfilling experience with a person of the other sex when there are such vast differences between you? How can a man know what pleases a woman sexually or vice-versa?

how can you have sex with a person the same as you

18. Shouldn’t you ask your far-out straight cohorts, like skinheads and born-agains, to keep quiet? Wouldn’t that improve your image?

whats wrong with our image

19. Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?

blatent steriotype.

20. Why do you attribute heterosexuality to so many famous lesbian and gay people? Is it to justify your own heterosexuality?

wtf? example?

21. How can you hope to actualize your God-given homosexual potential if you limit yourself to exclusive, compulsive heterosexuality?

wtf?

22. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. After all, you never deliberately chose to be a heterosexual, did you? Have you considered aversion therapy or Heterosexuals Anonymous?

no there are probably the same ammount of happy hetrosexuals as unhappy ones if not more.

Dave

Most stupid questionnaire ever. Hetrosexual or at least bi-sexual is natures way. If not you wouldn't be around to make a stupid questionnaire.

BuffyBot

Originally posted by Dave
Most stupid questionnaire ever. Hetrosexual or at least bi-sexual is natures way. If not you wouldn't be around to make a stupid questionnaire.

It's a joke, remember

yellum

Its a joke yeah, however these are the type of questions non heterosexuals get from a lot of people. Some are really frustrating and insulting aren't they ?

Beruthiel

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
Kurt Russell in a series called Quest, (if ya can remember that far back!) it was the long hair that did it for me

2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
when I saw a guy in the boys school who I thought looked a bit like Kurt

3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
if it is, then it's a bloody long phase.......

4. Could it be that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
you may have a point, my mother freaked me out from day one, and still does!

5. If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, how can you be sure you wouldn’t prefer that?
does sleeping with my sister until the age of 9 count?

6. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?
I disclose it to anyone who will listen, sometimes they react well, sometimes they recoil in horror

7. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyle?
for me personally, I blame alcohol!

8. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can’t you just be what you are and keep it quiet?
sometimes, I'm just desperate!

9. Would you want your children to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they’d face?
as long as my daughter is happy, I don't care what she is

10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual men. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual male teachers, pediatricians, priests, or scoutmasters?
If these people are safe in the knowledge that I will hunt them down no matter where they run to and do unspeakable things to them before I put them out of their long and torturous misery, this usually helps them to keep it zipped!

11. With all the societal support for marriage, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?
because it's insane to get married, and, well, some people are just insane.....

12. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
because we were put on this planet to do nothing else but that!

13. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?
I suggest a plan like in that film, Logans Run

14. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don’t you fear s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?
I don't know anyone who can be truly objective about everything.....

15. Heterosexuals are notorious for assigning themselves and one another rigid, stereotyped sex roles. Why must you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?
I'm not sure that I do, I sometimes tell my bloke he's my 'bitch'

16. With the sexually segregated living conditions of military life, isn’t heterosexuality incompatible with military service?
mmm, I would have to agree........

17. How can you enjoy an emotionally fulfilling experience with a person of the other sex when there are such vast differences between you? How can a man know what pleases a woman sexually or vice-versa?
half the time they don't!!

18. Shouldn’t you ask your far-out straight cohorts, like skinheads and born-agains, to keep quiet? Wouldn’t that improve your image?
My image is flawless, it doesn't need improving!

19. Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?
again, may I mention alcohol......

20. Why do you attribute heterosexuality to so many famous lesbian and gay people?
I don't

21. How can you hope to actualize your God-given homosexual potential if you limit yourself to exclusive, compulsive heterosexuality?
I donno

22. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. After all, you never deliberately chose to be a heterosexual, did you? Have you considered aversion therapy or Heterosexuals Anonymous?
stop! you've scaring me

BuffyBot

Originally posted by yellum
Its a joke yeah, however these are the type of questions non heterosexuals get from a lot of people. Some are really frustrating and insulting aren't they ?

Good point

Never looked at the responses from that point of view, I doubt the people responding did either

Victor

Originally posted by yellum
Some are really frustrating and insulting aren't they ?

Yes, thank you for insulting people.

hacktavist

it also gives me the impression gay people are a bunch of ignorant ****.

eth0_

Originally posted by hacktavist
it also gives me the impression gay people are a bunch of ignorant ****.

Hah, you're ignorant.
Hack, those questions posted are things that gay people are asked about on a REGULAR BASIS. Straight people aren't asked these things.

hacktavist

Well its there choice to become gay.
They should realise there will always be ignorant people asking stupid questions.

YoungNastyMan

This Qeustionaire is just some stupid homosexual (no, not all homosexuals are stupid) Thinking he's smart, by turning stereotypes around. Well done you idiot.

BuffyBot

Originally posted by hacktavist
Well its there choice to become gay.
They should realise there will always be ignorant people asking stupid questions.

:rolleyes:

You are taking the piss, right?

De Rebel

Originally posted by hacktavist
it also gives me the impression gay people are a bunch of ignorant ****.

we are not ignorant

eth0_

Originally posted by hacktavist
Well its there choice to become gay.
They should realise there will always be ignorant people asking stupid questions.

Ignorant again. Choice? It's not their choice. Would you CHOOSE the abuse they get off ignorant people?

hacktavist

Originally posted by YoungNastyMna
This Qeustionaire is just some stupid homosexual (no, not all homosexuals are stupid) Thinking he's smart, by turning stereotypes around. Well done you idiot.

This is what i was trying to say without sounding stupid..
but i failed

hacktavist

Originally posted by eth0_
Ignorant again. Choice? It's not their choice. Would you CHOOSE the abuse they get off ignorant people?

No but i wouldnt choose to be gay either.

seamus

Yeah, but that's her point. *nobody* chooses to be gay, you either are or you aren't. You could argue that some bisexual people 'choose' to be gay, but in reality, they're just denying their full sexuality.
Her point is that no-one in their right mind would choose to be gay, due to the abuse (at least in the past), if it were as simple as deciding "I think I'll be gay today".

DeVore

Originally posted by seamus
You could argue that some bisexual people 'choose' to be gay, but in reality, they're just denying their full sexuality.

*booming biblical voice*




LISTEN TO HIM... FOR HE SPEAKETH... BOLLOX!..

:)

DeV

swiss

Ok, to everybody who says this is "the stupidest questionaire ever" I believe you are missing the point.

Many gays are asked these kind of questions, from heterosexuals about their lifestyle choice. Usually, these kinds of questions are motivated by a curiosity (and I don't mean a bi - curious or homosexual curiosity) about alternative lifestyles and what motivations homosexual people have that would make them adopt an apparantly unnatural and strange way of life.

However, when it becomes so that these questions are continually asked of a gay person, it seems that they have to perpetually validate their lifestyle, to explain themselves many times over about their sexuality. This, as people have succintly pointed out is "stupid". Great, you've got it. Now stop bugging gay people with the same retarded questions. It's not a serious questionnaire, so stop with the faux indignation. It becomes the camp queen, not secure heterosexuals.

Typedef

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

Upbringing and environment.

2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?

I never did. From when I was even five years old, I would sneak a playground kiss of girls. This is arguably due to attitudes imparted to me through, my family, the media and my peers.
I'm a firm believer in nurture in this regard, unless of course someone can prove there is such thing as a 'gay gene'.

3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?

Yes but, I don't think I will. I could for example, deep down inside be bi-sexual or homosexual, but I think at the age of twenty three that I have dealt with all of that stuff and that I have come down (no pun) on the side of hetero, have been so for a long time and intend to continue to be so for quite some time to come.

4. Could it be that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

Nope. I'll be honest. Sodomy seems like a painful proposition and I have no real desire to engage in oral sex with another man. Therefore, sexual intercourse with women seems like the most logical way of alleviating my sexual needs and desires.

5. If you’ve never slept with a person of the same sex, how can you be sure you wouldn’t prefer that?

Again, Sodomy is not appealing to me, nor oral with another man. When I was younger the thought crossed my mind, but I think there was probably too many cultural taboos percieved by my mind to allow me to explore homosexual encounters, and now, the curisoty of what it might be like has diminished for me. Sexual climax is the most logical point of fruition in a homosexual or heterosexual paradigm so, for me, not really thinking of men as objects of sexual desire, but more as rivals or comrades, I simply desire sex with women, on an order of magnitude more then I have ever with another man.
Basically.

6. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?

Girlfriends, mostly in a favourable sense. Male friends. Parents. Internet wierdos. It's not really an issue for me.

7. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyle?

Who knows, I have never tried to seduce a lesbian into sexual relations (to my knowledge), mostly because such blatant heterosexual male attitudes are a cardinal sin in modern society and as much as I might not desire same sex relations, I don't deny that others do. I am sure I am happy being heterosexual and if other people want to be homosexual, then I honestly don't care.
So not being insecure about being heterosexual, I don't feel the need to validate my heterosexuality, by convincing others of it's merits.

8. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can’t you just be what you are and keep it quiet?

Mostly, flaunting my heterosexuality helps me attract females I would think, yes, at an instinctive level, that may be why I might come off as blatantly heterosexual at times.

9. Would you want your children to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they’d face?

I would suppose that since being heterosexual is a life choice I have made and since I believe that life choice is a good one and I don't really have any hang-ups about that choice, nor feel too insecure about it, I would desire that my children would see the merit of my choices and act in the same way.

If life is not about learning from good decisions made in the past and not repeating bad decisions and perpetuating that logic, then what is life about hmm?

10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual men. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual male teachers, pediatricians, priests, or scoutmasters?

Perhaps such a loaded question should include "why not caustrate the bastards"? No if one begins to disjunct on access to jobs based on sexuality, then one is guilty of discrimination. Each individual is responsible for their own lives and should not be tarnished by the errors of other.

Therefore lumping group(x) into a supposed mode of behavour, based on questionable criteria, is in fact akin to aparthied like discrimination and runs contrary to the very principals of Republicanism this country has fostered and allowed to flourish.

11. With all the societal support for marriage, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

Because the classic family unit, was based around women fulfilling a certain 'home role'. Once that role becomes eroded and women no longer are ascribed as being hausfraus, the family unit must become redefined.

Also men, no longer feel obliged to participate in marriages that are in a bad state due to marriage being a sacrosanct union, in the legal and 'religious' sense. This notion pertains to women also, but it is important to note that the man no-longer feels obliged to fulfill his gender role as financial support mechanism, just as women no longer feel obliged to be hausfraus.

Simply put, it is the transformation of the classic Nuclear family.

12. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

Do they? I think that is a very, ignorant question. Sex is a means of pleasure and reproduction is it not? At a basic level humans are instinctively driven to desire sexual fulfillment, I would suspect is a big answer to your question, however I'm not so sure one might reasonably disjuct between homosexual and heterosexual in this regard.

13. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?

I don't think State imposed homosexuality is an adequate means of population control, it runs contrary to some of the most basic choices that come with individual freedom.
Humanity must colonise other worlds, in the long run, as a species.
Quote "Expand or die".

14. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don’t you fear s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his own leanings?

Nobody is objective, as everybody is a colmination of their experiences at each locus of time. Therefore the notion of objectiveness or sexualy orientated disjunction of the same is in fact spurious.

15. Heterosexuals are notorious for assigning themselves and one another rigid, stereotyped sex roles. Why must you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?

More blinkered stereotyping. There are roughly six billion people on this planet right now, the majority of whom are heterosexual, I don't doubt that in that large a population, I could find many significant instances of variance of role-play, to invalidate your seemingly arbitrarly defined so called role-playing proposition.

16. With the sexually segregated living conditions of military life, isn’t heterosexuality incompatible with military service?

No, the idea is to negate sex from military life in so far as possible, because armies are about war, not about sexual intercourse, nominally.

17. How can you enjoy an emotionally fulfilling experience with a person of the other sex when there are such vast differences between you? How can a man know what pleases a woman sexually or vice-versa?

Good question. I suppose you have to ask a woman what pleases her? I don't read minds so logically how else could I find out?

18. Shouldn’t you ask your far-out straight cohorts, like skinheads and born-agains, to keep quiet? Wouldn’t that improve your image?

There you go again, lumping heterosexuals into one basket. However until such time as the walls cave in and the heavies come knocking on my door, I couldn't give a damn what the world thinks of heterosexuals.

In so far as this question #18 is an attempt at reverse psychology, it is good, in terms of reverse psychology though, it negates the fact that heterosexuality is in fact the majority on planet earth, so therefore, tacitally, most heterosexual people, have an unspoken phobia about homosexuals and in some ways identify with the motives of Skin heads and Born again Christians, if not the methods employed or the desire to physically intercede in another persons life, due to a differing view on sexuality.
Basically.

19. Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?

Nature and Nurture.
Next.

20. Why do you attribute heterosexuality to so many famous lesbian and gay people? Is it to justify your own heterosexuality?

I suspect the same way I attribute feelings to animals and objects sometimes, in otherwords anthropomorphisis except sexuality is the supplicant.

21. How can you hope to actualize your God-given homosexual potential if you limit yourself to exclusive, compulsive heterosexuality?

I don't believe in God and moreover the reverse psychology of the question is insulting to my intellect.

22. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. After all, you never deliberately chose to be a heterosexual, did you? Have you considered aversion therapy or Heterosexuals Anonymous?

Again, the reverse psychology is stupid, I have no desire to influence my sexual presuasion in the least, but I might consider it, if there was a logical reason given as to why I should, as opposed to blinkered reverse psychology that is ultimately ingratiating and poses no real intellectual challenge save the epiphany value the questionaire is supposed to serve for the most insular homophobic.

Typedef

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Originally posted by yellum
Its a joke yeah, however these are the type of questions non heterosexuals get from a lot of people. Some are really frustrating and insulting aren't they ?

---

Good point

Never looked at the responses from that point of view, I doubt the people responding did either

Actually it's a crap point, if you don't like being asked questions like that, the very last thing one would want to do is to is perpetuate percieved ignorance to the detrament of others. Two wrongs not making a right and such. Then again misery loves company.

Humbug

BuffyBot

I disagree. It's a damned good point. It's not out fault that people feel the need to ask questions they wouldn't do of heterosexual people. However I, and I'm sure others, answer them and will continue to do so in order to break down some peoples intentional and unintentional ignorance. We don't have to like the questions to answer them - therefore how can you say we are perpetuating ignorance?

You aren't making sense. Being verbose doesn't lend your point much weight either.

Dempsey

I would agree with the guru, and other with similiar point of views.
To the person who created the thread....... thanks to heterosexuality you are able to bitch about other peoples sexuality.

Annasopra

I actually wasn't trying to bitch about peoples sexuality. I posted this questionnaire in the GLB section for people who understand what it's like to be asked some of these questions and as a sort of joke. It wasn't meant to be taken as seriously as some of the people in the personal issues forum have taken it. However on the serious side it does reverse the stereotypes around

Typedef

Originally posted by BuffyBot
Being verbose doesn't lend your point much weight either.

Yes but, your 'logic' and I use the term loosely here, is that "two wrongs make a right".

Logically false & false is not equal to true.
Quad Erat Demonstrandum

yellum

Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.

BuffyBot

Originally posted by yellum
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.

Indeed.

Originally posted by yellum
Yes but, your 'logic' and I use the term loosely here, is that "two wrongs make a right".

Unfortunately, sometimes they have to make do, rather than make it right. Would it be better to promote ignorance by not answering the questions, than to dispel it somewhat by answering them? Where would be the logic in simply not addressing questions of people? Would that not perpetuate ignorance?

Graemo

The white male heterosexual is the ONLY demographic you can politically correctly take the piss out of these days.

ps. you are actually gay.

Zombrex

to all the people who didn't get that this was satire (quite good satire at that) and got pissed of at being asked stupid questions, but didn't get that they are supposed to be stupid questions ... you are IDIOTS

(not naming any names of course ... you know who you are )

Bottle_of_Smoke

It was funny but some of the questions just didnt work

Kell

Originally posted by BuffyBot
Good point

Never looked at the responses from that point of view, I doubt the people responding did either

In fairness, the ones who didnt get frustrated during the course of the questionnaire appeared to have got it. It's up there in the GLB section as well. Much funnier putting it in here though and reversing the questioning for once. Gays do get asked some dumb f*ck questions. The best one (and I've asked it) has got to be "so, how long have you been gay"?

Typedef

"so, how long have you been gay"?

Nature/Nurture.

Obviously you favour nature, but that's not exactly objective proof. One might easily become gay after being hetero or bi sexual for quite some time, it's a possibility, so long as you can't prove the existance of homosexuality from birth.

Kell

Err, I am a tad lost Typedef. Can you clarify what you mean by "You obviously favour nature".

Typedef

Sure.

A debate the rages between Psychologists, Geneticists and Philosophers as to 'what shapes you as a person'.

Nature : Ie, that which you are born with, instincts, genetics and so on.

Nurture: Ie the environment you are brought up in.

Personally when it comes to human behavour I favour nurture for several different reasons.

Kell

Fair enough- I was listening to one of those late night call in shows and someone said that apparantly there is a gene that causes homosexuality. Dont know what anyone else makes of that.

Gordon

There may be something about it on the GLB Issues forum