Serious situation which I'm not sure how to deal with...

Thanx 4 The Fish

I don't know how much use this is to you but I have some experience with children who have faced this kind of abuse and have been removed from their families. My family foster and have don for nigh on twenty years. Mostly short term stuff but we are on a crisis care list whereby if there is a situation where a child needs immediate placement they are brought around to ours.

One child we took in was chased with an axe by his father. This was reported by a neighbour, thus the placement, but the child never spoke up against his dad and so was returned into his care. He came back to us about a month later in a mess of bruises etc. He still would not speak up against his dad but the health board moved him to a home after a while. The father did not end up jailed(as I believe he should have been) because the health board had only the physical evidence without the child's statement to corroborate it. From what we heard was back to his father within a couple of months.

We have been involved with alot of kids though who have had to testify against their parents. Most of the time there is a conviction but there is not a jail sentence. In our experience very few parents get jailed, but alot of the children are moved into residental care.

Like I said I don't know how much use this will be to you but it may help you to know what you could expect.

Oeneus

Thanks for that Fish. Do you think I should print that out and show it to her? It could make her see sense.

smiles

Originally posted by SyxPak
I'd still go with the wire tap.

It's the fruit of the poison tree Syx, even if they have evidence from an illegal source they are not allowed to use it.

<< Fio >>

Thanx 4 The Fish

I dunno if it is a matter of seeing sense, but if she is seriously thinking of making a complaint, she should know what the consequences could be.

Caesar_Bojangle

spot on fish, thats more or less what i said earlier, you appear to be the only one who agrees with me. She has to think of the consequences not just to her but her whole family especially if its not the whole truth she is telling you.

Thanx 4 The Fish

Has there been any word on what has happened here ?

LegacyUser

If something new happens I'll inform you. So far, nothing new.

Oeneus

Wayhey! She's starting to see sense!

She has moved out and is currently living with a friend.

Apparently she went to her father and told him she was leaving, he threatened to break her fingers and then she just walked out. Whether thats true or not I don't care. She's done the right thing either way.

That's not the only good news...I was accepted into a college today! I'm happy!

Thanks People!!

Gordon

Congrats Oenus, excellent news.

Oeneus

I got a hug for it aswell. That was pretty cool. I haven't gotten one of those before:D. It makes it all worth it in the end.

daveirl

This post has been deleted.

Oeneus

Thank God? What did he do? I never get the credit I deserve. That heavenly bastard leaves me to do all the work and he still gets all the attention!:rolleyes:

Thanx 4 The Fish

Am glad that it seems to have worked out well there Oeneus, congrats on college too.

Oeneus

Well...here's an update...although its a bit out of subject. But what's been happening lately? I have decided I hate her(the girl we've been talking about throughout this thread). Why? Well let me tell you.

Friday night we (about 7 of us) camped out in the woods and drank(I know I know, campings for camp people etc. ) but anyway...

Well is all pished and so on...she tries it on me and I decline (she ain't thew prettiest of girls and she's a bit of a slag), she then moves on to a friend of mine, who also declines. Then, I say then, she goes to my best friend who's passed out in a tent and unable to move and who isn't single, and throws herself on him(topless, not that there's anything to see).
He then wakes up the next morning in tears thinking that he has cheated on his girlfriend who he has been going out with for a year who were deeply in love. The next thing he does, because of guilt, finishes his relationship with his girlfriend. He then drinks himself silly again. I try to convince him he's done no wrong but he doesn't listen.

Since then my attitude towards "her" has been very different. I take the piss out of everything she says and have been using a lot of sarcasm towards her. She has noticed this and has asked me why I'm acting like this? I just stay silent.

If she doesn't figure it out soon I'll fuucking spit it out right in her face and see what happens. Fuccking slapper!:mad: :mad:

Harmo

I dont think any of us expected to see that 1 coming

smiles

Originally posted by Oeneus
Since then my attitude towards "her" has been very different. I take the piss out of everything she says and have been using a lot of sarcasm towards her. She has noticed this and has asked me why I'm acting like this? I just stay silent.

If she doesn't figure it out soon I'll fuucking spit it out right in her face and see what happens. Fuccking slapper!:mad: :mad:

Listen, she's obviously been through an incredibly rough time and it sounds like she was desperately looking for attention.

Firstly, tell your mate he's done nothing.

Secondly, TALK TO HER. From the way you reacted to the situation she was in earlier you obviously cared and just giving her a silent act is not the way to go.

Calling her a slapper, etc. wont do any good. Tell her that she's destroyed a relationship and that you've lost a lot of respect for her, then ask her to talk to the guy and tell him nothing happened.

I'd suggest she gets a pyschologist, she's been through ****, and really needs help.

<< Fio >>

Beruthiel

why do think she acts this way Oeneus? don't you think she has very little love in her life and will reach out and try and get it where ever she can, even if she's looking in all the wrong places. She is probably desperate to feel normal and cared for. As Smiles said, talk to her!
Drink, when you can't handle it alway's seem's to cause problems and situations you would rather forget about and wished never happened!

seamus

Seeing as your best mate won't listen to you on what happened, try talking to his (ex)girlfriend. If she doesn't know this girl, then it shouldn't cause any problems. Chances are, she's the only one your best mate will listen to at the moment. It seems your only real concern at the moment is your best mate, and there's not really much way you could make things any worse by talking to his gf

LegacyUser

Oh hell no! I can't talk to his gf. She does know her and her opinion of her before this happened hasn't been a very good one.

And in the last couple of weeks my opinion of her has also sunk.

I forgot to mention also that she has moved back into her parents house. I will explain this story when I have more time.

But anyway, I met her mother not long ago and she seems completely harmless. On the same day I watched her fight (verbally) with her parents, and I have to say she was very harsh towards her mother. Bratty in other words.

After this I started trying to see things from her parents point of view. And to me, I think she would be a complete nightmare to take care of. After all this I am losing my trust for her.

She is also embarrassing me with her drinking antics.

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by Oeneus
Oh hell no! I can't talk to his gf. She does know her and her opinion of her before this happened hasn't been a very good one.

And in the last couple of weeks my opinion of her has also sunk.

I forgot to mention also that she has moved back into her parents house. I will explain this story when I have more time.

But anyway, I met her mother not long ago and she seems completely harmless. On the same day I watched her fight (verbally) with her parents, and I have to say she was very harsh towards her mother. Bratty in other words.

After this I started trying to see things from her parents point of view. And to me, I think she would be a complete nightmare to take care of. After all this I am losing my trust for her.

She is also embarrassing me with her drinking antics.

i think you should try growning up and stop being a dramatic little premadonna.
always always always try to get as much information about a situation before you go and damn someone.
you like this girl, she seems to have her own issues, youve seen under the covers and now you dont like it. that doesnt give you the right to put her down.
nor for that matter does it give you the right to with hold information from her when she asks you about it, she doesnt understand and shes come forward to confront you. shes got more balls than you. you can at least have the decency to tell her what you think, and maybe you can get another side of avery lop-sided story.
ever hear the motto never judge a book by its cover?

and spit in her face?
are you for real?
grow up.

oh, and oyure embarrassed becuase she is doing things that take you out of your comfort zone. you will meet a lot of people like this. most people will laugh becuase this puts them back in their comfort zone, some people go with it, and some people hate it so much the get violent or argumentative, or just plain start to hate those people. you seem to be one of these types.
learn to deal with.

Oeneus

She cried for help. I answered the call. I got some very good advice from you guys. I passed it on to her. And for a while she took the advice.

But then she came across problems where she was staying at the houses of her friends, who soon got fed up with her laziness, drunkeness etc etc. The last person she stayed with decided they didn't want to be responsible for her and called her parents to take her home.

Since she has been home she hasn't complained about anything.

And like I said I met her mother and she seems like a nice woman.

So I assumed that they had things worked out.

But she has completely screwed up my best friend over her stupidness. To me, this is unforgivable.

Argh, screw it. I think that I won't bother getting involved any further in this.