Drunken antics frowned on by the Guards

n.catenthusiast

Eh, isn't Farmleigh the far side of the Phoenix Park?

mabe it is, but the one i'm talking about is a housing estate off the stillorgan dual carriageway.

Doc

One year near to Halloween I was building a bonfire with some friends it was getting late so we decided to leave it and go to the pub.

We all got very drunk.

On the way home we passed where we had been building the bonfire and decided to have a bit of fun.

We took out a large spindle shaped wooden thing that was used to wrap plastic piping around for transport to building sites and kicked to of the wooden planks in the centre out so that there was a hole big enough to get into the centre of the spindle.

I got in.

My friends turned it on its side and started to role it down the road.

The road was down hill so the spindle quickly picked up momentum and soon my friends could not keep up with it.

(I was dizzy as fuc#)

It crossed a T junction and slammed into a garden wall half knocking it down.

I managed to get out and limp quickly away from the house. The owner came out saw the damage and rang the police but by the time they arrived we where in a friends house and no one had seen us run from the wall.

Despite the pain I couldn't stop laughing.

leeroybrown

This one could be entitled "Garda antics frowned on by the drunk!"

(Told to me by a friend I worked with a few months ago)

A few lads (including my friend) were out one night in Dublin. One of the other lads got a very drunk so they decided to head home and grab a some cans at an offie on the way home. They were walking down the road when they saw two Gardaí coming. They knew these particualr Gardaí weren't the nicest guys to deal with(the kind that might confiscate your cans) so they stopped near a fence just before they met the guards and dropped the cans over the fence so the Gardaí wouldn't confiscate them.

The Gardaí came over and started asking them what they were up to. They explained that their friend had a bit too much to drink and that they were bringing him home from town. The drunk guy barely realised that the Gardaí were there and was acting the idiot but the lads convinced the Gardaí that everything was OK. They were just about to leave when the drunk guy fell backwards over the fence. Next thing he gets up again with a bag of cans in his hand and says "Jaysus lads, look what I just found!".

The Gardaí take the cans and the lads are left to walk the drunken idiot home with no beer.

Sangre

Ohh notorious cat enthusiat (thread starter) you're antics are most hilarious, stealing fire extinguishers,Man i was pissed off it didfnt work so we threw it in a river, stealing a can of beans and trying to open it or unconsciously taking the piss out a group of scumbags while the rest of us backed away slowly, the fast.

OHHHHH memories but i think the garda's frowned ion you what with the whole underage factor and going

NCE:what should i call you? ,officer
Garda: just call me sergeant
NCE:okay officer it is

And you asked him if he had seen the crucible

COme on NCE youre not sharing ur hilarious antics with us

P.S he was underage for all of this

n.catenthusiast

hhmmm, seems like I forget all this stuff.

lets see... there was the time i walked around a school for the deaf during the night with my pants down, singing "What if God was one of us?"
There's other stuff-when i remember it i'll post it.

Lucifer

i have had a few, so i'm told, but i was too pissed to remember them

Giblet

After the NPB gig in whealans me and a few of me mates decided to grab somethin' in eddie rockets, i ordered the messiest thing i could...Ribs and buffalo wings after unsucessfuly trying to eat then without getting barbecue sauce all over me i decided to clean myself up with some of the tissues.. after proceding to empty the whole thing of tissues and throwing them around for a few minutes we decided to draw faces in mustard on the tables..then we were kicked out after shouting stuff like Great ART shouldn't be supressed! and **** like that.. then i forgot my wallet.........

Makaveli

You cant beat the old steal some cones and make roadblocks with them game.
I remember one time it was the night before bin day, and some of my mates went around collecting all the wheelie bins on the road and they put them in this fellahs garden and then they wrote his mobile number on them saying bin's for sale.
One of my mates got arrested one time and when he was in the cell in kevin st. garda station he decided he was going to take on all the police there, so he starts screaming at them though that little hole in the bottom of the door. Then that night his da collected him and he thought his da was a cop coz he was still so hammered and he said he would have hum and that he was gonna kick the crap out of the bangarda that arrested him. (Is it bean or ban I cant remember anymore).
Do you ever notice when you have to walk home drunk that you find yourself there without even noticing the walk, it's like your subconscious gets you home while you are actually off in lala land

Dr. Loon

Originally posted by Makaveli
Do you ever notice when you have to walk home drunk that you find yourself there without even noticing the walk, it's like your subconscious gets you home while you are actually off in lala land

Yeah, that's your drunk radar kicking in

Lump

Ah the old drunken radar...... no matter how hammered you get, even if walking alone you always seem to make it to your house. Got to love it.


John

po0k

Three years ago this summer I was back in a kind of nightclub in the sticks in Galway. Many will know it as Peacocke's.
It was a beach-party, where they get in atruck load of standard quarry sand and fill a pool with water out the back. Good craic. Got hammered, drank a bit of everything, from Blue ICE cider that tasted like stale feet, to rank giunness with bits of sand floating on the head to After Shock that tasted like diesel and liquerice.
Puked my ring out, naturally. Dozed on the toilet seat for a while. Suddenly noticed the place had gone quiet, walked outside and just made it onto the bus to bring me to my hometown.
Puked on the bus, feeling like ****e - especially after eating those dodgey barbequed chicken wings - with a friend of mine shaking me asking if I was alright while he was pissed as a fart. Didn't get into any fights. For once. Didn't pull that night either, but I couldn't have cared less at the time.
Got off the bus in the village. Siad good night to the lads and lassies. Previously I had left my bike behind the chipper, which required walking down a very steep hill to get round to it.
Got my bike, walked it up this hill - slipping more then once - and proceeded to try and cycle home.
I had to make a kind of J-turn if you know what i mean to get in the right direction facing home and so had to cycle down the same side of the hill again (not the bit leading down behind the chipper, but on the main road).
Picked up what felt like a tremendous amount of speed and was going happily along, keeping close to the footpath to my left so as not to get knocked down.
The road was dimly lit and in the shadows anything may lurk.
A woman often parks her car on the footpath at this one house (thogh she has a perfectly good drive way - probably can't get in or reverse out without tearing teh shíte out of the paintwork),
which, coincedently, just happens to be in one of these blind spots.
There's me, tearing along good-o, pissed as a skunk heading straight towards a few weeks in intensive care when a car comes up behind me with full-beam headlights on.
Thank Christ.
Lights lit up the parked car on the footpath and I just about swerved to avoid it, pulling out in front of this car behind me, who was about to overtake me as this was happening.
"BEEEEEPPpppeeeewwwww..." car flies past, I'm nearly killed and justmanage to stay on the bike.
I burst my hole laughing, wobbling along the road. I still had another mile ahead of me and I kinda dosed off while cycling.
Arrived at the house, (relatively) safe and sound.
Let myself in and went to sleep. Mother hadn't a clue.
This was when i was 15-16.
And they say youth is wasted on the young.

Dr. Loon

One of my mates is a psycho... him and another mate were in his house drinking whiskey and slamming sambuca's...anyway night went on, and they were both píssed. They went through and were just watchin TV... so this guy - we'll call him Jim, was sort of curled up like a foetus on the couch and the two of them eventually dosed off. My other mate woke up to the Jim moaning... he was fast asleep, still in foetal position, so my mate tried to wake him up... no joy. Eventually Jim gets up of his own accord, other mate tries speaking to him but just gets a blank stare, as Jim walks through to the kitchen! So other mate follows him to see what's going on..... he goes to the kitchen to find Jim, taking his cacks off, then his boxers, and takin a píss on the fridge!
Mate just cracked his head laughin, as Jim returns to bed. Next morning mate wakes up to hear Jim screaming at the dog for píssin all over the kitchen floor... and fridge True story... and there's plenty more about this particular bloke

Makaveli

ah jesus man im crying with laughter here.
Thats like the time I pissed in a bin coz I couldnt remember where the toilet was

Morpheus

Some1 i know, had 1 too many joints AND got locked, he got home, went into his parents room, opened a suitcase and proceeded to piss into it, they had only packed that night for holidays the next day!! They were asleep in bed at the time, but he was caught IN THE ACT :eek:

Same bloke same state, another week, staying in his best mates house, tried to take a piss on his mates girlfriend who was sleepin on the sofa, this time SHE managed to stop him! both times he had to be told next day, but didnt believe it!

wonder what this strange pissing phenomena is

Dr. Loon

Originally posted by Makaveli
ah jesus man im crying with laughter here.
Thats like the time I pissed in a bin coz I couldnt remember where the toilet was

Ah, the same guy has píssed in other people's fire places, woekn up in the middle of the night while loads of us were still up, perched on a couch in his boxers, and started giving out to us about it being fúckin freezing!! Didn't remember a thing next morning. He's hilarious.
One night he was on the píss with a new job. Eventually he ended up by himself in Portmarnock, course he didn't know this. He saw a house which looked like his, so he climbed into the back garden and tried to get in through some unsuspecting familys back door! He was arrested anyway for drunk and disorderly.... and was fired shortly after. He's a nutter. In Australia now, I wonder what sort of havoc he's causin there

Makaveli

it must be when your bladder makes an executive decision that it wants to be emptied now wether you want to or not. Maybe its on autopilot too

n.catenthusiast

There's other stuff-when i remember it i'll post it.

heres something-everyone knows snow angels, where you lie on your back inb the snow, and move both arms and legs to make an angel shape.
well some friends do GRAVEL ANGELS- i.e. where you do the same on a main road-its hilarious, and childish and painful and dangerous-the ideal drinking game

Dr. Loon

Originally posted by Morphéus
Some1 i know, had 1 too many joints AND got locked, he got home, went into his parents room, opened a suitcase and proceeded to piss into it, they had only packed that night for holidays the next day!! They were asleep in bed at the time, but he was caught IN THE ACT :eek:

Same bloke same state, another week, staying in his best mates house, tried to take a piss on his mates girlfriend who was sleepin on the sofa, this time SHE managed to stop him! both times he had to be told next day, but didnt believe it!

wonder what this strange pissing phenomena is

This guy sounds very familiar, could we be talking about the same person?

DiscoStu

i kinda remember a night in the red box where i fell asleep in the toilet a bouncer had to kick the door down to get me out. it was good. when i got out my friend decided to body slam me onto the road and i almost broke my shoulder. that was not good.

_CreeD_

Many moons ago, when I was a wee student lad living in Harrington street, we weer having a halloween party and got really pissed off with all the rednecks coming out of the Garda club at 3am and singing LisdoonVarna (after years of putting up with it we were all pretty traumatised). So I got my hifi speakers, propped them up on the window sil, cranked it up to the max and played 'The Oogy boogy' song from The Nightmare Before Xmas from the 3rd floor. It was echoing up and down the whole street.
Most of the folks outside started looking at their feet and walking quickly, I guess they figured it was all in their heads and it was definitely time to lay of the gargle.

At another party, a college friends brother's house warming. WAY too much tequila. We're trying to get to sleep in the sitting room as it's the only warm place left in the house, with a nice glowing fire. The friend decides he's going to puke, runs for the nearest not-carpet spot, which he decides is the fire.....Til the day I die I'll always have the image of him leaning into the fireplace, hueying and watching a big cloud of steam and ash fly up around his head. It was like a sick version of the Mount Etna explosion.

A mate of mine's dad left a PC projector at home and went off on holiday for the weekend. He had a few friends over, got locked, setup the projector in the kitchen window and they all watched star wars on their neighbours house.

ToxicPaddy

Originally posted by Morphéus
Some1 i know, had 1 too many joints AND got locked, he got home, went into his parents room, opened a suitcase and proceeded to piss into it, they had only packed that night for holidays the next day!! They were asleep in bed at the time, but he was caught IN THE ACT :eek:

wonder what this strange pissing phenomena is

A guy I know did something like this.. he was crashing in my mates house one night after a serious pissup session and was crashed out on the floor in a sleeping bag...

In the middle of the night he got up and went to piss in the wardrobe on my mates clothes, but for some reason didnt, according to my mate who saw him opening the wardrobe... then saw him closing it again, thought nothing of it and went back to sleep...

What he didnt see was the guy closing the wardrobe and heading to the other corner where all his college notes and books were neatly stacked...

So the guy proceeded to piss happily onto all the notes and books until he's totally relieved himself.. climbs back into the sleeping back totally oblivious to what he had done...

Next morning the guy knew nothing of it and had one very pissed off guy sitting across from him at breakfast...

:D:D:D:D

Lemming

Originally posted by _CreeD_
A mate of mine's dad left a PC projector at home and went off on holiday for the weekend. He had a few friends over, got locked, setup the projector in the kitchen window and they all watched star wars on their neighbours house.

Class Must remember that one

Tazz T

One night in a North Western location me and a mate were walking two girls home when a garda car pulled up unimpressed that we were camping where we shouldn't be arrested us for suspicion of controlled substances (there were none). Back at the Garda station we were being searched when they came across the pistol in one of my pockets - the whole station went bananas and I was made to take out this green plastic water pistol and throw it across the floor to the arresting garda. Upon realising their mistake we were stripped naked and made to stand hands against the wall for some time - this was in the reception area and quite embarrassing as various individuals were entering to make queries and look at our naked bums.

Then there was the time we went over Gweedore pier in a van...

Doc

Originally posted by Dr. Loon


This guy sounds very familiar, could we be talking about the same person?

Dose the guy your talking about have a nick name thats a real name?

elexes

azezil


very classy very ncie

well in short cause i dont have 2 mutch time running through walls doors windows and over cars

attempted to run across that lake in cork that has all the swans

another time garda car pulls up and asks me somthn i look at him look at meh frend then run off straight screeming the red coats are coming the red coats are coming .



cant rember mutch will add more

also over the last 3 years of collage i have taken 37 metal road signs loads of the bloody cardboardy type signs from building sights wrote on houses temp walls .. things that move ... o ye there called cars now . .. cant remer rest will post more ...

anyone seen that bloody celica

Victor

An ex-flatmate decided to walk over a car on the way home. The only thing was there was a couple 'getting romantic' inside.

n.catenthusiast

we were all pissed in a mates house, me and this other guy especially, and he started being a dj on the playstation, spinning it round while it was on. meanwhile, i was sitting on a filing cabinet, rocking it back and forward, with a fax machine on my lap, pretending to be a pirate on high seas.

penguin master

I have to disagree with cat enthusiast.
i think the guards are doing a very good job. it reminds me of a time when this guy took a fire blanket from a newsagents and ran off with it. Quite funny- really.
But they caught him in the end. At least they are doing what they are paid for.:)

leeroybrown

A mate of mine was going out for a few pints so he headed into town (Galway City) on a bike (racer) he had borrowed from another friend of mine.

He stayed in town for a bit longer than planned and when he cycled off home he had quite a few pints on him. He was flying along on the bike down a hill with a good tail wind. Now a combination of alcohol and the fact that he normally didn't cycle a racer led to him grossly underestimating his speed and consequently how long it would take him to stop.

He was flying around a curved section of the road when he saw a parked car directly in front of him. Between the beer and the speed he didn't even come close to stopping.

He hit the back of the car at full speed and went head first through the back windscreen of the car. Now try to imagine this. He didn't have time to get his hands up to protect himself so he ended up partially inside the car through the back window, with his arms trapped near his elbows in the glass.

He managed to drag himself free and had to reach back in to get his glasses and a few other bits and pieces that had fallen off onto the back seat. He then picked up his friends (completely wrecked) bike and walked home to his nearby house. He didn't even bother going to the hospital for a check-up. Luckliy no damage was done to him.

I bet the owner of the car got some surprise when he got up in the morning.

Bomberman

Originally posted by Neil3030
No stories to report. I'm a good wittle boy. :rolleyes:

Yea right Good wittle Boy ????? I Think not! You have done some good stuff in the back of taxi's!!