Drunken antics frowned on by the Guards

n.catenthusiast

Inspired by the interesting stories about Dublin bus, I started wondering about all the alcohol-fueled dum-ass adventures that the pigs took offence to.
You know the sort of stuff I'm talking about; stealing fire hydrants and stuff like that.
My own story is about the time me and a mate started moving traaffic cones, and then running away giggling, over and over again, untill the fuzz came, and hauled me away.

Victor

Saw two drunken women try to nick a traffic cone recently. Unfortunately for them it was one of the bigger ones with about 10kg of ballast in the bottom. They legged it when they saw a security guard coming.

Karl Hungus

Me and a friend took a road sigh across town one time in broad daylight...

Not a small thing, either... One massive ****er, took both of us to carry it!

Stephen

Putting shopping trolleys in weird places is always fun. Especially hard to reach ones, like on top of sign posts and stuff, just getting impaled

the omen

I came out of a party really drunk and really hungry hopped into a close by law car and asked them for a snack box and a lift home.They didnt take to it too kindly.

azezil

oh god drunken moronics my list is endless

Got in a fight with a car once - started kicking it and stuff then decided to drop kick the front windshield! triped on teh bonnet and knocked myself out cold!

Have stripped many times

Sometimes go on walk about! - this one time (not at band camp;)) i was on my way home, decided i'd like a little walk through the fields. This is in Thurles btw. So anyway found a field n started wandering around, climbed through a couple of ditches and decided it was time to head home.
I could just see a road nearby, but it ment going through a junk yard.. hoped over the wall "grrrrrrr" one ticked off look dog waiting for me at the other side!
Ran, dog gave chase, managed to scramble up onto an old van and back over the wall.
It doesn't end there... next to the junk yard was a rather high fence with barbed wire on teh top, climbed up easily enough. Got through the barbed wire easily enough n fell over the other side!
Wandering around again lookin for a way out, considering climbing into a garden of one of the neighbouring houses and geting out that way. So after examining the wall i decided to walk down further as the wall wasn't so high, thats when i seen the big gaping exit.... it turnes out i was in a park Almost hit the swings on the way out too lol

Whilst on a mystery tour (rag week) got extremely drunk, anyway time to go home... got onto the bus , decided to make a grand entrance. Strutted up the steps and spun round to greet my audiance, bumped my head and fell back out the door!

Another funny one was a holloween night we decided to spend in and abandoned house... long story, maybe some other time

DiscoStu

well there was this one time i made a chicane on lucan bypass out of traffic cones and sat and watched cars having to break very hard. it was good. no police though. or this other time i was really drunk outside whelans, with not a toilet in sight. so in my drunken state i decided that the window would make the perfect latrine. unfortunatly the bouncers there didnt like the idea of me soiling their establishment and decided to deal with me in the only way they knew - kick the crap out of me. but me being the sharp one i am seen em coming even in my drunken state and managed to 1. finish my refreshing piss and 2. get the hell out of there without suffering any serious injury.

and there was also this time a drank a bottle of tequila lost the ability to read, got on the 39 nightlink instead of the 25 and ended up in clonsila. then proceded to walk to dunboyne. it was good.
oh and there was this one time 2 christmas's ago in the palace(sorry it wasnt my fault college party) i got insanly drunk was thrown out after falling on a bouncer. i then slept with the bums under the atm on camden street.
and this other time i helped put a box of 3 week old mouldy crispy pankcakes into the letterbox of a house full of old women.
and there are many many more i dont remember and with good reason.

The_Bullman

When in college I had the ability to steal cones at an alarming rate. Thankfully I left them all in my mates flat taking up all their space. I also took crowd control barriers( the big one) which took 2 people to lift back to their flat. Signs also were left there. My flatmate has this ability to steal stuff too. We have a Green Energy Festival cone in the living room and 3 no parking signs. We also stole a loose chippings sign from Kerry and gave it to other lads a house warming present. Most of the above where taken in a drunken state, apart from the last one.

Apart from that, there is just the usual falling over stuff. Banging my head. Getting sick. Stealing glasses for the flat. Falling over.

My favourite recent one was trying to drop kick a traffic cone, missing, and falling on my ass, tearing a hole in the seat of my new trousers. It may not seem funny but if you saw me it might make more sence.

leeroybrown

I was out on the beer with a few friends celebrating Galways Senior All-Ireland Win. We were in Taaffe's in Galway and two of my friends were having one drink each as a tost for each member of the panel. That worked out at 6 pints and twenty odd vodka and oranges each.

Later that night the two lads were to be seen flying down shop street in a shopping trolley, with another drunken friend was pushing, with the slightly less intoxicated me looking out as there were a good few gardaí around that night. Very funny, especially at the end when the trolley was sent flying towards a road and one of the lads had to jump out to save himself from rolling out onto it.

leeroybrown

A guy I used to work with a few years was driving into galway with a few friends for a night out. (He doesn't drink) Later on that night while heading home they were going home down the N17 past Corinthians pitch. They pulled in, got out some tools from the boot and proceeded to steal a 30 foot long Heiniken hoarding from the siode of the pitch. They then tied it onto the roof and drove home.

Irish_Ranger_IR

There was this one time..em..I was in a bar..no..I was in a Barn..sorry, submarine, we were off to Abagio, near the Gongo, when...Ooosh Flying German planes, anbendum...Great big snake, mumbleings, he was the tallest man i have ever sceen, gerblleings..Sorry...I'm afriad, I was very, very, very Drunk........


Oh...There was this onetime in band camp, but that's another story................Stay tuned..............

Neil3030

No stories to report. I'm a good wittle boy. :rolleyes:

Shiminay

I recall the Gardaí being most unimpressed with me or my compatriates on a few scant occasions...

Debs: Got hammered - we stumbled down Main St, Castlebar and sat outside one of the shops finishing our drink and waiting for a nearby resturant to open for breakie (tradition). We were singing and roaring as only drunken 18 year olds dressed up in tuxes can do and the Gardaí came along...
"Did you do that?"
"What?"
"THAT!"
We looked up and someone had taken 2 smaller cars and put them perpendicular to the road so that the whole street was blocked - we were so flutered, we hadn't even noticed. We all just fell about the place laughing and the Gardaí knew it couldn't have been us.

College: Rag week - walking out of a pub and we started singing a Back Street Boys song - don't ask how, but we did. We were roaring it at the top of our voices and an unmarked car pulls up beside us asking us to be quiet. They go up the road a wee bit, we start again. They slam the brakes and throw the car into reverse, we leg it.

And of course, the classic...
It was my birthday - 3 of us were very, very drunk. We wandered off and tried to get back into thr house - no joy. Someone had closed the dead-bolt and we were going nowhere. The Station was just round the corner and seemed to be the only place open (we never thought of the hospital and it's vending machine goodness). I walked in first, the other 2 just behind and asked the desk sergent if we could stay cause we were locked out. He said we could sit in the reception area, but he couldn't give us a cell (I think he was having a bit of a laugh, but I was far too drunk to remember having consumed 2 litres of Gin and Bitter Lemon + pints in the nightclub). So, I grabbed one of the lads by the nexk and said "If I punch him, do I get a cell?"
"Yes, but you also have an assault charge to deal with"
"Oh yeah" and I let go, much to the relief of my mate.
"Ye'll have to be gone before 7:30 when the Super comes into work - just incase he gets annoyed"
"No worries - thanks Garda - you're the best ever"

leeroybrown

A friend of mine was very drunk one night and when he woke up in the morning he was covered in dirty black grease.

It turned out that in his drunken state he had tried to break into a JCB on the. When he couldn't get in he opened one of the engine covers and started messing with stuff.

I doubt the Gardaí would have been too happy if they found him. But I'd say it would have been a lot better than if the builders had found him.

The same lad was seen early one morning talking to a block of cheese.

Lemming

Originally posted by the omen
I came out of a party really drunk and really hungry hopped into a close by law car and asked them for a snack box and a lift home.They didnt take to it too kindly.

class!!!

what did they do??

leeroybrown

I suppose as long as he didn't want to shít in his cap!

Acidflash

My housemate got pulled for taking a piece of scaffolding from a building site as a 'souvenir' of a night out.
After being brought to the station the garda game him an ear full and then proceeded to take his belt off and held it as if he was going to hit him while screaming like a madman, then garda just told him to bring it back and that was it.

The Sweeper

The Gardai are unimpressed by people who sit curled on the top of phoneboxes with only their face poking out the neck of their jumper, and with said jumper pulled over their knees, with their sleeves hanging limp and their leather-gloved hands sticking out of the bottom of the jumper somewhat akin to an Owl's talons, especially when that person responds to all questions with a very mildly delivered 'twit-twooooo'.

Garda: Madam, could I ask you what you think you're doing?

unidentified owl impersonator: woooo-twooooo

Garda: Madam, could you please come down off the phonebox?

unidentified owl impersonator: twit-twooooo, wooooo

/repeat until threat of arrest

Panda

Drunken Shenanigans are the best!

I had many an adventure last year in college, but this year, even though we have more responsible, we are still doing our fair share.

Before X-mas we were walking home from the night club on the way to the 24hr for the reason of munchies and it started to rain the kind of cold rain that hurts your face and soaks u in seconds so we decided to sprint the half mile.

We were going for about half a minute and a friggin cop car comes out of no where and stops us and the reatards then proceed to ask us why we were running.

Resisting telling them to "FUCK OFF ITS PISSING RAIN!!!" we ended up being questioned for 5 minutes and they even took our details.
utter spastics.

leeroybrown

Two friends of mine was out on a major session one night. They ended up in Supermacs in Eyre Square having the customary feed before going home. One of the lads decided it would be a good laugh to take a roll of refuse sacks with him. After a bit of prompting from the other lad he gives in and says that he'll do it. He shoves the roll into one of his pockets, hides the top of it under his shirt and starts walking out.

He would have been grand except for the fact that the other lad was locked and he started laughing his árse off and pointing at his mate going out the door.

The bouncers see the other guy laughing and start wondering whats going on. A quick look reveals the bulge of the refuse under the shirt. They take him to one side find the refuse sacks . His bad luck continues as a Garda squad car happens to be outside at that moment. The bouncers call the cops over and they arrest my friend for theft, put him in the squad car and bring him down to Mill Street Garda Station for the night.

While being booded in for the night my friend realises he recognises the Garda on the desk and that the Garda knows his father well. At this point alcohol takes over and he gives his home address and his fathers name in a hope that the Garda would think of his father and let him off with a telling off. Unfortunately for him the Garda showed no reaction and continued booking him in.

In the meantime the second friend walked down to the station looking for his friend. He ended up paying £50 to bail him out for the night. The Gardai told the arrested guy that he would be requested to appear in court at a later date and that he would recieve a letter in the post regarding his case.

Luckily for him no letter ever arrived but he made sure the second friend never went down to the station to reclaim his £50 just in case.

leeroybrown

Another one:

Another friend of mine saw someone he knew in a fight outside a nightclub a good few years ago. He went flying into the fight to help defend his friend. He was on the ground fighting with someone when he felt someone grabbing his shoulders. He turned around and swung a punch and before he knew it he had a Garda flat out on the ground.

Obviously enough they arrested him and the case was brought to court. He got away pretty lightly considering the offence as it was his first time in court.

This lad was still in secondary school at the time and didn't want his parents to find out because he knew he'd get in serious shít there. The one thing he was worried about was the courts summary in the local papers, so he got together with a few friends and cousins who knew about the court appearance and they bought every copy they could find of the papers that had it in the hope that no-one would find out.

Of course it didn't and he not only ended out of pocket but also in serious shít with his parents.

the omen

Originally posted by Lemming


class!!!

what did they do??

Not much just ass rapped me!!!

smoke.me.a.kipper

Originally posted by the omen
Not much just ass rapped me!!!

how was it?

kiffer

Originally posted by Irish_Ranger_IR
There was this one time..em..I was in a bar..no..I was in a Barn..sorry, submarine, we were off to Abagio, near the Gongo, when...Ooosh Flying German planes, anbendum...Great big snake, mumbleings, he was the tallest man i have ever sceen, gerblleings..Sorry...I'm afriad, I was very, very, very Drunk........

I was very upset the time that he was mumbling about some thing and at the end you realise that he's talking about someone dieing .. and ... well ... *snif*

um ... but then monkeys stole my hat.

Victor

Saw a wheelie bin on top of a bus shelter in, I think, Aungier Street.

The only time I have been really wasted (15 shorts of about 6 different drinks in 3 hours on an empty stomach). the bouncers got me off the premises. Fell asleep in the toilet in Abra. Decided to go home. Felt 'unsafe'. Stopped in Garda station to sit down (it was freezing out). Fell asleep. Desk sergeant not impressed 'either you go home or we call a doctor'. Stayed for about half an hour. Left voluntarily. Took 2 hours to walk 1.5 miles home. Avoided drink for a long time.

Dr. Loon

Originally posted by Victor
Took 2 hours to walk 11.5 miles home. Avoided drink for a long time.

Why didn't you get a taxi? Or were you too drunk to think of that?

<edit to add some drunken stories>

Remember there a year or two ago, being hassled by a bunch of tinkers in Eyre Square in Galway, one minute there was one and we were cool with givin him grief then loads of them and they're girlfriends appeared and suddenly there was too much fraca, as far as I recall we just legged it. Then me and a mate stole an empty keg (still heavy when drunk) and proceed to climb over walls and down pits in a dangerous fashion through a building site. Cops appeared so we dropped the keg, making an amazing amount of noise and legged it. Adnans could probably clarify the tinker situation.

Got the head whupped off me in Dundalk years ago by five lads. I'd been talkin to them all night and they seemed sound, although I was so drunk I couldn't remember whether I was born in Dundalk or Drogheda, they sound very similar! I was chattin to some girl then, and she managed to get me to buy her a pint, even though I didn't want too. Then one of the lads accuses me of drinking his beer, I told him to fúck off, he's drinkin Guinness and I'd been drinkin bud all night. All of a sudden five of them start whuppin me. Fúckers knocked half a tooth out!! I collapsed on a table when I got to where I was staying and smashed it to pieces


I've loads more, but they're difficult to recall as you can imagine
All the usual road signs though.

Victor

Originally posted by Dr. Loon
quote: Originally posted by Victor
Took 2 hours to walk 11.5 miles home. Avoided drink for a long time.
Why didn't you get a taxi? Or were you too drunk to think of that?

Sorry typo. 1.5 miles. 20-30 minute walk normally.

ToxicPaddy

A gang of us were staggering home one night to a mate place to crash there for the night, one of the lads disappears down a side alleyway for a slash when next thing we hear this rumbling sound behind us, there is yer man bringing home a wheelie bin..

So anyway, then he decides he's tired and jumps into it... it must have been brand new as it was spotless...

So there are 3 of us pushing this home and yer man inside with the cover down, next thing the cops pull up, and get out... when they start asking us about the bin, yer man jumps out of the bin and screams...

"me mammy didnt want me anymore and these lads are bringing me home"..

One of the cops nearly dropped dead, the other was pissing himself laughing... in the end they told us to bring it back to wherever we found it and no more would be said about it..

Very funny...

Victor

Originally posted by ToxicPaddy
One of the cops nearly dropped dead, the other was pissing himself laughing... in the end they told us to bring it back to wherever we found it and no more would be said about it.

/me is crying with laughter.

Took my brother home on his stag night in a shopping trolley (part of the journey, up a hill, was on ribbed concrete - not comfortable).

n.catenthusiast

Me and a mate were walking to the bus stop in stillorgan, and had to climb over a wall in Farmleigh, if you know it. we were heading back to his house, so we had to sober up. he was still drinking, so when he placed his can onto the wall so he could climb over, I knocked it off(still pissed myself of course) He went flying over the wall to get it, and FORGOT TO PUT HIS HANDS OUT TO STOP FALLING, cause he was so plastered.
He landed on his face, and had a huge lip. when he woke up the next morning his face was encrusted with blood, and needed to get stuff from the pharmacy, it was so bad.


moral of the story: Remember not to land on your face when falling.

Victor

Originally posted by n.catenthusiast
Me and a mate were walking to the bus stop in stillorgan, and had to climb over a wall in Farmleigh [/B]

Eh, isn't Farmleigh the far side of the Phoenix Park?