A mirror by day - thgin yb rorrim a

ctrl-alt-delete

A mirror by day – thgin yb rorrim a


When I look at you do I see myself? – ?ees ot eviecrep uoy od ohw os fi dna
Brightness shining enlightens my vague view – ytitne ym srits ssenkrad gninefaed
Only I as myself can answer what I ask – nruter ym noitseuq nac flesruoy sa uoy ylno
Twilight twists and turns my eager estimation – nrub uoy hctaw I sa semalf gnilleuf

Logically listening I hesitantly hear no lies – shturt on kaeps nac uoy kaeps uoy nehw
Rays reflect refract and some pass through – stoor sti hguorht egami eht gnibbats
Silence creeps through the wide open window – taeh eht gnillik ylsuollac ssendloc
And as I watch all that lies before me – taerter ytsah dna dlob a sdib egami ym

What I see is worth nothing without the sound of silence sometimes tickling my ears

comments appreciated, it takes a bit of effort to read fully, so if you have done so, thanks....

***warning this may hurt your eyes ***

Earthhorse

I'm not sure you're doing your verse justice with this little trick.

Perhaps repeated reading will reap dividends.

One thing though, the word "ylsuollca" reversed spells acllously. This isn't a word to the best of my knowledge. Is it meant to be callously?

ctrl-alt-delete

yep earthorse it was callously, sorry bout that - but sure im allowed mistakes.....i dont really mind if it does it justice or not its just something i wanted to do, was just trying something more "creative" that pleased me anyway

BEAT

it is very creative, well done
I can tell that took some time

ctrl-alt-delete

it took aq bit of time alright - its hard to think backwards but sure it worked out in the end, all but one word

ANarcho-Munk

I really liked it, it must have taken a lot of effort to write

Shad0r

My eyes hurt. Literally. For that alone, I hate this poem.

ctrl-alt-delete

sorry bout that shad0r - how do you think i feel, hate is a very strong word though, think of it as a puzzle - and if you have read it, fair play - you solved it

Le Rack

hate is merely love with its back turned.
Ctrl-alt... well f*cking done that is incredible! I love the last line it ties it all together so nicely!

ctrl-alt-delete

thanks le rack - your comments are much appreciated, glad you liked it

Le Rack

its great though, reminds me of Mirror by Sylvia Plath, nothing like it but still reminds me of it.
Yours, its so, its like your standing there talking away infront of the mirror stating these facts asking these questions, and its like the mirror is giving sorta rhetorical thoughts back, well thats my interpretation (sp)

TerrorFirmer

Very unusual, interest concept, have to say that I didn't actually read it, too bloody annoying this time of night, but fair play for the original approach, writing style on the directly readable side of the mirror seems fairly solid

ctrl-alt-delete

mobileinfantry - maybe it might be a bit kinder on the brain/eyes tomorrow you might be able to read it then, you never know you might like it .....

le rack - thats the basic idea behind it alrite, i think it works ok

Le Rack

yeah its fab, really fits and is perfectly vivid

Shad0r

ctrl-alt-delete wrote:

sorry bout that shad0r - how do you think i feel, hate is a very strong word though, think of it as a puzzle - and if you have read it, fair play - you solved it

Ok fair enough, I probably wasnt clear. I dont hate the poem cause its badly written or anything like that, I just hate that you have to decipher one half of it.

marshmallow

I know nothing of creative writing but I enjoyed reading it if it helps.
I'd put the **warning** at the start of the post.

Le Rack

Shad0r wrote:

Ok fair enough, I probably wasnt clear. I dont hate the poem cause its badly written or anything like that, I just hate that you have to decipher one half of it.

as I already said "hate is merely love with its back turned" *me grins smugly....*

ctrl-alt-delete

i only put the warning in after an edit marshmallow, was just in response to a reply - didnt want to put it in at the start, and i was gonna put it in mirrored so thank your lucky stars its in at all ,
anyway glad the majority are liking it

ANarcho-Munk

Le Rack wrote:

as I already said "hate is merely love with its back turned" *me grins smugly....*

Now I feel like quoting my favourite song ever for soem reason

"There's a thin line between love and hate, I'm standing in the no-mans land and I'm afraid"

Sorry mods, I just couldn't hold myself back from posting that :rolleyes:

LadyJ

Ha,well done OP. I wouldn't have that kind of patience!
Good work!:D

Earthhorse

Just in case there's any misunderstanding I did actually enjoy this piece. I just think I would have enjoyed it more had it been written straight.

Having said that, if you're going to keep it the way it is might I suggest capitalising the last letter in each reverso sentence? It would lend a better symmetry to the page.

ctrl-alt-delete

it would defeat the idea behind it writing it straight, but you're right i may change them to capitals

randomhuman

Nice idea, but it's too hard to read. Maybe you could get the same idea across by justifying the two sides (both written forwards) along a centre line.

McFiddler

OP, why have you decided to use this strange technique? It's frustrating to read and I assume that that is your intention but I just don't get it. In my opinion poetry is supposed to be pleasureable to read despite what emotion the poet is trying to envoke. I think it would be a good poem if written normally.

Nidge

McFiddler wrote:

OP, why have you decided to use this strange technique? It's frustrating to read and I assume that that is your intention but I just don't get it. In my opinion poetry is supposed to be pleasureable to read despite what emotion the poet is trying to envoke. I think it would be a good poem if written normally.

I like it, I think it's different, beats the ass off the generic technique of many poets out there and certainly on this forum. (full review later)

DawnMc

Marvellous, v.creative

BEAT

Carefull mcfiddler..you only just got out of jail.

ziggy sawdust

have to admit I'm not a big fan of poems that play with the words on a page - I prefer concentrating on the sounds of words as opposed to how they look on the page - Actually if one was to read this poem aloud how would you as the writer intend it to sound (read backwards as written or read forwards for the meaning?)

Anyway - just throught, if any of you guys like playing around with the structure of the actual words on the page you might find some of E E Cummings work interesting. Personally not a big fan but I do like the novelty value.

Heres a sample called 'The Sky Was' by the way:

The Sky Was E. E. Cummings


the
sky
was
can dy lu
minous
edible
spry
pinks shy
lemons
greens coo 1 choc
olate
s.

un der,
a lo
co
mo
tive s pout
ing
vi
o
lets



Online text © 1998-2005 Poetry X. All rights reserved.
From Tulips and Chimneys | New York: Thomas Seltzer, 1923

Earthhorse

That's ee cummings! The structure can often seem like a novelty thing or a gimmick but often it's employed to give the poem a rhythm it wouldn't otherwise have or create a visual image with the text itself that backs up what the poem's describing.

Just picked up 73 poems the other day and I have to say No Thanks is one of my favourite books, poetry or otherwise, that I've ever read.

jimmidy_cricket

You're right it did hurt my eyes and unfortunately patience isn't a virtue I am well equipped with, but of the short piece I did decipher I liked it and was wondering if you could possibly post it again in normal writing because trying to read it normal is slowing me down and I'm missing alot of it...pretty purlease?

ctrl-alt-delete

A mirror by day – a mirror by night


When I look at you do I see myself? – and if so who do you perceive to see?
Brightness shining enlightens my vague view – deafening darkness stirs my entity
Only I as myself can answer what I ask – only you as yourself can question my return
Twilight twists and turns my eager estimation – fuelling flames as I watch you burn

Logically listening I hesitantly hear no lies – when you speak you can speak no truths
Rays reflect refract and some pass through – stabbing the image through its roots
Silence creeps through the wide open window – coldness callously killing the heat
And as I watch all that lies before me – my image bids a bold and hasty retreat.

What I see is worth nothing without the sound of silence sometimes tickling my ears