Dad dying

DawnMc

Just back from the hospital. My father was rushed in this morn and is in surgery as I type. They say the chances of survival are slim to none. I am so numb and don't know what to do

CathyMoran

My mum had surgery that had a high failure rate last September but she is still alive - feel free to PM - I do know how you feel, the wait during the surgery and the aftermath are something that even now I find hard to look back on, but you can get through this.

Femelade

really sorry to hear hun, hope everything goes ok. be positive. chin up.

DawnMc

Thanks girl,still no news

Femelade

let us know anyway....pm me if u like.

irishboy19

i lost my father in law a year ago

im rooting for ya man
keep the head up... thats the main thing
i know its hards but you got to be strong were here if you need to talk.
all the best

Sue*

hope everything goes okay. let us know how things go.

LadyJ

OP I lost my mother when I was 11 and I don't think that these situations become any less frightening as you get older. I really hope your dad will be ok but if not just remember that feeling numb is just the body's way of coping with intense fear and shock. It's just your defense mechanisms kicking in.

We all deal with this kind of thing in different ways and there is no right or wrong way to feel. Sometimes it can take years for that numbness to disappear.

Personally I find that grief is a very personal and private thing so don't worry if everyone else seems to make their feelings public,it doesn't mean you have to. Just deal with it all in your own way and don't feel guilty for feeling less than you think you should. If we didn't feel numb sometimes we might fall apart. The numb feeling is just there to give you time to adjust and deal with everything.

I really hope your dad gets better OP but if not,you will deal with it and you will feel normal once again.

Victor

Whats the diagnosis?

DawnMc

Just back from the hosp, when they went into surgery, it wasn't what they thought it was so they were able to repair damage. We went in to see him just now and he's in intensive care, comatosed etc. The prognosis is good enough - 60/40% survival/death. Doc says serious complications v.common after this particular surgery so pray all please

Femelade

i'll be thinking of u girl.
things a looking good,
hopefully everything'll be fine.

DawnMc

Thanks girl

drdre

sorry to hear about ur dad but hope all goes wel and he gets better soon

Khannie

Hope all goes well for you Dawn. We're rooting for you.

TerrorFirmer

Yeah, I know it's only words, but I'll say a prayer for your dad, I'm sure alot of others here will do the same.

Hope everything goes well for you and your family, good luck.

DawnMc

Thanks to you all. You're all so good. Will keep u updated

shellby

i'm so sorry to hear that hun
there are plenty of support groups around the hospital your father is in should have one
stay positive
i hope everything goes alright

DawnMc

Thanks v.much. All your support is greatly appreciated.

ClareBear

I don't even want to think about what you're going through, I don't know how or if I'd cope. I hope your Dad will be okay Dawn. Best of luck xx

DawnMc

Thanks Clare, I hope so too

Gilgamesh

Hey dawn, definetly have my thoughts going with you, sorry to hear about this.
if you wanna chat, let me know or PM me.

Sifo

hey dawn really sorry to hear your Dads ill, hope he pulls through sweetheart, i will most definitely pray for him and you and your family also... be strong x

BizzyC

Hey dawn, sorry to hear about your dad.
Hope he pulls through.

DawnMc

Thanks, you're all so good. Went in to see him earlier and he's kind of a bit awake. Coming out of sedation, knows were there etc. Pray for next 48hrs please lads, you're all so good

WhiteWashMan

spend as much time as you can with him
make your peace with him.
tell him all the things you are sorry for, and let him know hom much you love him.

go with the worst case scenario, that he will not live beyond today. i know it sounds terrible, but every day after today that he lives,and you have made your peace with him, is like a blessing.

DawnMc

Made my peace with him many times before when he was in hosp the last time. He knows I love him and there's nothing more to say

CathyMoran

DawnMc wrote:

Made my peace with him many times before when he was in hosp the last time. He knows I love him and there's nothing more to say

And also should say brilliant post WWM, put a tear in my eye - letting your loved ones know how much you love them is important at this time, any minor disagreements with anyone seem stupid at times like these. Best wishes to OP - thinking about you and praying for your family at this time.

DawnMc

Thanks again to you all. I'll keep u all updated

Mr.Nice Guy

Sorry to hear about your Dad. I hope he pulls through. God bless.

LegacyUser

WhiteWashMan wrote:

spend as much time as you can with him
make your peace with him.
tell him all the things you are sorry for, and let him know hom much you love him.

go with the worst case scenario, that he will not live beyond today. i know it sounds terrible, but every day after today that he lives,and you have made your peace with him, is like a blessing.

eh I think thats your issue. tbh.

DawnMc

Hi all,
Dad is off the ventilator today and is sitting out in intensive care.
This is great news, not out of the woods yet (infections etc)
Keep up the prayers!
xxx

Beruthiel

fantastic news dawn

AllMessedUp

glad 2 hear that...Went tru same thing about 3 years ago. Ive said a prayer for him

Gilgamesh

good to hear DawnMc, hope everything goes well no too.
All the best and good luck

DawnMc

Thanks lads,
must buy u all pints

Tobias Greeshman

I nearly lost my father last year in a similar situation, he had to have a very serious op... So I can empathise with how you feel. Hope it all works out!

Töpher

Excellent news Best of luck to yourself and all your family.

Khannie

Wootz! Great news. Hope everything goes well.

Femelade

thats brilliant Dawn, hope things continue to get better.
keep us updated on the progress...

ye're in my prayers girlie.

DawnMc

Thanks to u all! To those who read my post about my ex, here's the update. I told him about Dad and he's was so supportive but on the phone to him, I realised I haven't any real feelings for him at all. I got a letter from him today that he posted on Fri (before the whole Dad situation) and he's really mixed up.
I know this sounds self-centred but it seems everything goes wrong for me!

1. Dad might not make it
2. I have my finals in two weeks
3. ex-boyf might be gay for all I know
4. Friends not being very supportive


So if any fine, charming and DEFINITELY not gay boardster from the Cork area would like to treat me like a princess, do let me know as I'M GOING INSANE!!!!!!!!! (hmmm.... attractive....insanity.....)

Femmy - will PM u soon with full update

Kiera

I'm sorry about all thats happened to you, Dawn but you are not the only one with problems and other people have gone through a lot more than this and lived to tell the tail so dont let it get you down too much. Put it this way. Your Dad is on the mend, You can always repeat your exams, there's millions more guys out there and if your friends arent there for you then they obviously arent REAL friends so go join some clubs and meet more. Stop thinking the glass is half empty x x x G'Luck with it all x x x

DawnMc

Thanks girl but it IS ok to feel down so I'm not gonna start thinking I'm so much more better off than others as it's really not true!

Sifo

hey dawn, thats great news, prayers have been answered, don't worry about the little things, you can always sit your exams again, as for your boyfriend, forget him, get someone who will stand by you no matter what...

DawnMc

Thanks Sifo,
I know thats true. I know I shouldn't even be thinking bout guys at the mo but it's easier to think about smaller things. I just wanna go out and get smashed drunk! Silly I know.
We are really worried again at the mo, Dad had tests done and results out this evening. He is coughing up black smelly stuff and we're really worried. I can't go thru all this again - none of us can. We had just gotton over him being in a coma for over a month when all this kicked off again. It seems so unfair, he spent all his life helping people (social work) only to have critical illness three times. So unjust..

Squirrel

I'm sorry to hear about your dad Dawn, I'm praying for you and your family. The same thing happened to my friend, the best thing he says is to keep busy, alcohol is a depressant so mightn't be one of the greatest ideas

AllMessedUp

dawnMc im really sorry ur Dads is ill. Hope he gets betr. All i can say is if he is the nice kind man u said he is, then you can see a little bit of u in him!! take care

DawnMc

Cheers! x

CathyMoran

Glad to hear that your dad is improving, even if there are some setbacks. Life does sometimes throw you more than one things at the same time - my thoughts are still with your family.

galwaydude

Hi dawn,

Sorry to hear that dawn. I will say a little pray for your dad.I know how hard it is at the moment as my own mom has cancer and is having treatment. The best thing to do is cherish every day you have with your dad and like WWM said before tell him how much you love him. The most important things in life are your family.

Regarding your friends, thats terrible that you think that.Maybe its time to make new friends who actually give a toss about you.

county

good luck, hope is all well!

Sifo

Hey Dawn,

Your dad sounds like a good man, hope the tests come back with good news.. let us all know x


I know life can seem unfair but try not to think like that, it'll only make you feel worse.. what builds strenght and character is how you deal with whats thrown in your way....