Me and my big mouth

LegacyUser · 11-07-2005 7:24pm #1

right i'll keep it short. basically i went out with some friends on friday night and we all got very very drunk. it was mostly my mates from home but there were a few college people there too. one of the girls has been in my course for the past three years and we have never really been friends.
anyway, during the drunkeness myself and herself got chatting as we have done over the past few nights out and we realised that we do get on. during this VERY drunken conversation she told me something very personal about herself. and then....i told her something about myself that only 2 of my closest friends know.

and now im freaking out! im am SO worried that shes going to let it slip to someone

its made worse by the fact that one of her best friends in college is a girl that really cant stand me for some reason and if she found out about it the whole college would know. its something that would be really really damaging for me and i just dont know what to do. my life would be over.

i've asked her not to say anything and shes said she wont but im still panicking. i know theres no real advice that anyone can give me and i probably sound like a fool. and i know its my own fault for opening my big mouth........im just scared.

SingingCherry · 11-07-2005 9:36pm

Keep something in mind during all of this- you have something on her too. I don't mean to say you should threaten her with it, but she knows you know her secret, so she has extra incentive to keep quiet. That, and if she was drunk, she might not even recall unless she really thought about it.

Anyway... what IS this secret?

qz · 11-07-2005 9:39pm

Don't worry about it too much. Like the previous poster said, you have something on her too. Just don't give a her a reason to spill your secret.

monkeyfudge · 11-07-2005 9:41pm

SingingCherry wrote:

Anyway... what IS this secret?

Maybe he's Spider-man?

Remember you can always deny everything if it ever comes out. It won't have a huge amount of credibility if it's coming from someone who doesn't like you. Just claim that it's a vicious rumour.

Sue* · 11-07-2005 9:41pm

ye, what is the big secret ?

first and formost, if this girl is any kind of decent person she will not open her mouth, also the fact that you have realised that you are both getting on, i cant see her saying anything. I wouldnt stress yourself about it, but if it makes you feel better, next time your out mention to her to please not say anything... but i honastly wouldnt worry about it...

Kevin_rc_ie · 11-07-2005 9:46pm

it will come out, sooner or later. just have to ride the wave.

luckat · 11-07-2005 9:47pm

Deny everything. "I said that? Sure I was fluthered! I was only messin'! Did she take that seriously? What an eejit!"

Kevin_rc_ie · 11-07-2005 9:48pm

i hope she tells and it comes back to me somehow cos i'm really curious what you did. pm me, i'll tell no one.

FX Meister · 11-07-2005 9:54pm

If it comes out tell them you made it up, after she told you about her abortion you felt you were really bonding well with her and made up something that you thought was on a similar level to her issue.

monkeyfudge · 11-07-2005 9:55pm

luckat wrote:

Deny everything. "I said that? Sure I was fluthered! I was only messin'! Did she take that seriously? What an eejit!"

Yep. Look at how the politicians deal with this kind of thing. Use the spin.

"My moment of madness on Hampstead Heath"

Kevin_rc_ie · 11-07-2005 9:56pm

i don't think this denying it and it;s all made up approach will work. definitely not if it something vaguely beleiveable. especially not if the rumour propagates randomly

qz · 11-07-2005 9:58pm

FX Meister wrote:

If it comes out tell them you made it up, after she told you about her abortion you felt you were really bonding well with her and made up something that you thought was on a similar level to her issue.

Jeenyus!

Rantorama · 11-07-2005 9:59pm

Yeah,it MIGHT come out eventually but that could be 10 years from now.
As other posters have said you can always deny it. Hovever you could be blowing it out of proportion in your own mind the girl you told might not even think its that big a deal and will probally forget about it in a few weeks.Anyway if you asked her not to say anything (and your friendly with her) its very, very unlikely it will slip out in casual coversation.

DawnMc · 11-07-2005 10:01pm

Let me take a wild guess, you told her you're gay and you're terrified people will find out? Get a grip dude!

Kevin_rc_ie · 11-07-2005 10:02pm

aparently that's a big deal for kids these days. best of luck with it OP

LegacyUser · 11-07-2005 10:17pm

DawnMc wrote:

Let me take a wild guess, you told her you're gay and you're terrified people will find out? Get a grip dude!

eh i hate to burst your self-righteous, all-knowing bubble there mate but no, im not gay. also im not a dude.

much appreciate the helpful comments.

i'd really rather not say what it is but you can be assured that its not something small that im just over-reacting about. its something that would seriously alter most people's opinions of me and most definitely not something that i would ever say about myself in a joking way. so no, im not gay, i dont have a secret evil twin, i dont have 11 toes and im not in love with a family member.

as for me having something on her.....what she told me isnt really a secret to be honest. as i had been told it before about her.........more reason for my worrying.

anyway, thanks again to those who didnt make any assumptions even though im not giving much away. i guess i'll just have to see what happens.

11-07-2005 11:52pm

WorriedSick wrote:

my life would be over.

no it wouldnt. time is a great healer and the alarm clock would still buzz at whatever time you set it for in the morning (assuming you use one)

LegacyUser · 12-07-2005 9:39am

don't pi55 her off

fcuk_me_sideway · 12-07-2005 12:26pm

Stop being a PUSSY

ven0m · 12-07-2005 12:35pm

WorriedSick wrote:

right i'll keep it short. basically i went out with some friends on friday night and we all got very very drunk. it was mostly my mates from home but there were a few college people there too. one of the girls has been in my course for the past three years and we have never really been friends.
anyway, during the drunkeness myself and herself got chatting as we have done over the past few nights out and we realised that we do get on. during this VERY drunken conversation she told me something very personal about herself. and then....i told her something about myself that only 2 of my closest friends know.

and now im freaking out! im am SO worried that shes going to let it slip to someone its made worse by the fact that one of her best friends in college is a girl that really cant stand me for some reason and if she found out about it the whole college would know. its something that would be really really damaging for me and i just dont know what to do. my life would be over.

i've asked her not to say anything and shes said she wont but im still panicking. i know theres no real advice that anyone can give me and i probably sound like a fool. and i know its my own fault for opening my big mouth........im just scared.

Why not send her a blowup doll taped up with a rubber rat glued into the mouth????? would get the message home....

::: ven0mous :::

Beruthiel · 12-07-2005 12:43pm

keep it on topic folks
B

loz · 12-07-2005 12:53pm

preemptived strick is best bet

tell hers secret first - that way if she lets yours out it will look like she made it up to get back at you

chump · 12-07-2005 3:05pm

Whatever happens as least you've hopefully learned not to blurt out personal secrets to people you don't know that well when ur drunk!

I'd imagine it will come out tho, she'll confide in a friend who she's even closer with than you, etc. etc...

Things like this ALWAYS come out :eek:

Prepare your recovery strategy now I reckon

xzanti · 12-07-2005 3:24pm

Id have to agree with the person who suggested denying it... although I think in a case like this the paranoia that people are going to find out can be worse than the actual event of somebody finding out... and the chances are if she has told anyone they're not going to say it back to you, it'll be a behind your back job... So all I can say is try not to let it eat you up and if somebody does say it back to you just laugh it off like the other poster said and claim you were just drunk and taking the pee pee.... hope it works out for you anyway... Dont worry about it, life is way too short

nobodythere · 12-07-2005 6:27pm

All this makes me think is that you killed someone...

DawnMc · 12-07-2005 6:31pm

Sorry if that seemed bitchy - didn't mean to be insensitive. Hope things work out, don't worry about whatever u told her, worrying is about as useful as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum!

spudington16 · 12-07-2005 6:42pm

Short of having her kidnapped and/or killed there isn't really a whole lot you can do in this situation. Scout around for bargains; someone might only charge for the kidnapping and throw in the killing for free!

12-07-2005 7:05pm

WorriedSick wrote:

i told her something about myself that only 2 of my closest friends know.

Unless its something of a criminal nature you should be ok. (which if it is i am not judging you, everyone is entitled to a private life and no ones perfect).

if its something personal like something that should or shouldnt be in your anatomy then that will maybe cause some embarrassment but it will blow over

just try not to worry and cross that bridge with your head held high. if people use ammuniation on you just cos they have a problem with you just remember its their problem and not yours

Dreamcatcher · 12-07-2005 7:19pm

OP, you say that you've spoken to the girl since and asked her to keep quiet about whatever was said. Did you ascertain whether she actually remembered what was said, or did you have to jog her memory - I'm just wondering how you went about this, and how she responded?

If she does remember what you said that night, and she can see that you are embarrassed about it, I wouldn't think she'd go repeating it if she is any kind of a decent human-being.

You don't know her very well you say, but the two of you get on in conversation. Why not try to befriend her and let her get to know you a bit better. At the very least, say hi or stop and have a chat when you meet her on the corridor. If she gets to know you a bit better, she'll be less likely to associate you exclusively with this one "big secret" that you confided in her.

It's difficult to really advise you, to be honest, coz we don't know what the nature of this secret is.... If you at least gave some indication about what it is, then people would be able to give you some advice on how to handle it.
Is it an event that happenned in the past, is it something related to your sexuality, do you have a criminal record...... I know you don't want to say, but it's a catch-22 - we can't really advise much unless we have some idea.

As others have said, there is no point in eating yourself up with guilt and worry. Hold your head high, get on with your life and put it in the past and try to forget it ever happened - it's the only way. A month, 6 months from now it'll be a distant memory of a madly drunken evening, and won't seem like such a big thing.

jesus_thats_gre · 13-07-2005 12:18am

It wasn't me....

Easily_Irritated · 13-07-2005 12:32am

So whats the awful thing then?

You should just share with the group then we could accurately read the situation and tell you whats best to do / how badit would be if itall god out

You know it makes sense

Kell · 13-07-2005 3:32am

Easily_Irritated wrote:

You know it makes sense

What makes more sense is for the OP to stop worrying about what may or may not happen. Posting your worries here love is just going to add to the stress and make you ponder stuff you should just get on with.

In your own book, you f*cked up. Get on with it and dont let it happen again. I potentially f*cked up my trip in Oz on Monday night with my mate, but am I here bleating about it? No- we talked, sorted it out and I am not sleeping on the grass.

You may get lucky in that she mightnt even remember what the f*ck you are on about if you mention the incident. Happens a lot when people get drunk.

Whiskey + women in that order = EVIL.

Did I mention I was surfing with dolphins on Sunday and that it was awesome?

K-

Me and my big mouth

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