girl i like

LegacyUser

hi all,

ok, here it goes. Theres a girl i like. Very beautiful and friendly type though i dont know her personally.

She lives nearby and is a bit younger then me but an adult none the less.

Anyways theres always being a bit of chemistry between us and i didnt think anything of it at first but our eyes always manage to meet and we have delayed glances at each other. we say hello to each other often

Sadly she got it together with this local boy racer who is the same age as her just as i had plucked up the courage to ask her out.

But since then the chemistry has been ever present on occasions we see each other. now i dont know what the girls Game is. Maybe she does fancy me or perhaps she just likes attracting male attention or maybe its friendship shes after. I am gutted cos perhaps if i had realised earlier and made more of an effort who knows we may have got it together.

I hate the thoughts of having regrets and ive been thinking about telling her i like her but i dont want to interfere with a relationship. If you think i should tell her then how should i do it. I cant really call to the house and ask for a chat and letters and flowers are far too desperate and pushy. i dont want to risk public humiliation either if it went pear shaped.

I know this is a small problem considering the tragedies in todays world but i would appreciate any advice especially from the female contingent.

i like to think by confessing i would be getting rid of a burden thus taking the first step to moving on one way or another.

Riamfada

Spend time with her. Get to know her better then you can say somthing. See how things go with Speedy Gonzales. But get there quick cause its harder to "interfere" in a long term realtionship . But then again my love life is a shambles and taking advice of me is like taking humanitarian advice from Josef Stalin. Good Luck. Dont end up like me.

LegacyUser

Grimes wrote:

Spend time with her. Get to know her better then you can say somthing. See how things go with Speedy Gonzales. But get there quick cause its harder to "interfere" in a long term realtionship . But then again my love life is a shambles and taking advice of me is like taking humanitarian advice from Josef Stalin. Good Luck. Dont end up like me.

thanks grimes but i dont know the girl well enough to get to know her all of a sudden. im not sure how serious her relationship is either.

mp3guy

i must refer you to this;

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/construction.html

Read it, and then think a bit.

WhiteWashMan

non-reg wrote:

hi all,

ok, here it goes. Theres a girl i like. Very beautiful and friendly type though i dont know her personally.

She lives nearby and is a bit younger then me but an adult none the less.

Anyways theres always being a bit of chemistry between us and i didnt think anything of it at first but our eyes always manage to meet and we have delayed glances at each other. we say hello to each other often

Sadly she got it together with this local boy racer who is the same age as her just as i had plucked up the courage to ask her out.

But since then the chemistry has been ever present on occasions we see each other. now i dont know what the girls Game is. Maybe she does fancy me or perhaps she just likes attracting male attention or maybe its friendship shes after. I am gutted cos perhaps if i had realised earlier and made more of an effort who knows we may have got it together.

I hate the thoughts of having regrets and ive been thinking about telling her i like her but i dont want to interfere with a relationship. If you think i should tell her then how should i do it. I cant really call to the house and ask for a chat and letters and flowers are far too desperate and pushy. i dont want to risk public humiliation either if it went pear shaped.

I know this is a small problem considering the tragedies in todays world but i would appreciate any advice especially from the female contingent.

i like to think by confessing i would be getting rid of a burden thus taking the first step to moving on one way or another.

so, let me get this straight...

theres a girl who lives near you that you see occassionally, have said hello to and thats all you know about her..

... and you have built up some sort of mad fantasy in your head and apparently there are 'games' she plays.

you know, have you considered that she is speding her time tracking you down and following you just so she can smile at you and get you thinking and then runs away giggling to her boy racer boyfriend (who is also in on the conspiracy)?

or maybe she is just some chick that says hello to people, and you take that to mean that she wants you and that there is a chemistry (that is in your head dude) and that you should stalk her until she relents and goes out with you.

theres a point in there somewhere. and some sarcasm.

jcoote

i'm kinda with whitewashman on this one i think u want her and may have constructed this chemistry that u speak of within your own mind...

but lets say u didn't and everything u have said is factual.. u need to talk to her and make her aquaintence properly and conerse with her... at the minute all u have is the odd glance to judge her by...she may be a nut or think u are a nut job or u simply may not be compatible...looks alone cannot determine chemistry

Kevin_rc_ie

bide your time. an opportunity shall present its self.

LegacyUser

WhiteWashMan wrote:

so, let me get this straight...

theres a girl who lives near you that you see occassionally, have said hello to and thats all you know about her..

... and you have built up some sort of mad fantasy in your head and apparently there are 'games' she plays.

you know, have you considered that she is speding her time tracking you down and following you just so she can smile at you and get you thinking and then runs away giggling to her boy racer boyfriend (who is also in on the conspiracy)?

or maybe she is just some chick that says hello to people, and you take that to mean that she wants you and that there is a chemistry (that is in your head dude) and that you should stalk her until she relents and goes out with you.

theres a point in there somewhere. and some sarcasm.

yeah look your proably right its much ado about nothing. thanks even if oyu are being sarcastic. maybe i just needed somone to spell it out for me

GrumPy

jcoote wrote:

i'm kinda with whitewashman on this one i think u want her and may have constructed this chemistry that u speak of within your own mind...

i do that all the time

LegacyUser

mp3guy wrote:

i must refer you to this;

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/construction.html

Read it, and then think a bit.

The ladder theory has no relevance to his problem..
--

Non-reg,did you at any time show her any interest? Hot girls are all about challenges,they want what they think they cant have,and if you at any time before the chemistry stopped showed interest in her,the game was up for her,she knew she could get you if she wanted..

Another reason she may have lost the interest in you was because she had been giving you signals for a while and you did not act on any of them until it was too late and started seeing you as a bit of a chump

If this girl is really hot and doesnt know much about you yet,I would recommend just going for some other girls for a while and get your game going for you a bit more and when you think you are a bit better with women,go for this girl instead of soiling your chances because you havnt had enough experience..

LegacyUser

WhiteWashMan wrote:

or maybe she is just some chick that says hello to people, and you take that to mean that she wants you and that there is a chemistry (that is in your head dude) and that you should stalk her until she relents and goes out with you.

I hate reading these kind of replies...Unless the girl despises him,he is in with a good chance,what makes it even better is that she is pleasant towards you and greets you etc.. If some fugly bastard is walking down the road by her I doubt very much that she is going to smile and say hello in such a pleasant manner..

Whatever you do man..Just dont #1 listen to this guy ^, #2 Let her go without even talking to her(wait till her and her bf are over tho)..as the only way to get better at these things is practice..And even if you dont get to hook up with her,you have atleast met someone new which is access to more girls

LegacyUser

Unregkizjfhsd wrote:

The ladder theory has no relevance to his problem..
--

Non-reg,did you at any time show her any interest? Hot girls are all about challenges,they want what they think they cant have,and if you at any time before the chemistry stopped showed interest in her,the game was up for her,she knew she could get you if she wanted..

Another reason she may have lost the interest in you was because she had been giving you signals for a while and you did not act on any of them until it was too late and started seeing you as a bit of a chump

If this girl is really hot and doesnt know much about you yet,I would recommend just going for some other girls for a while and get your game going for you a bit more and when you think you are a bit better with women,go for this girl instead of soiling your chances because you havnt had enough experience..

thanks for that reply i thought this argument was looking one sided. in fairness maybe whitewashman has a point but his replies are a bit too non-diplomatic in fairness. I just havent got the opportunity to get to know her properly. and im pretty sure i didnt construct any chemistry. in fact it took me a long time to cop what was going on. Even then i said, "nah she cant have been".

On one particular occasion she said hello to me when i never expected her to. Fair enough i know its not "Can i get into your trousers" but its not many good looking girls in todays society try to be pleasant to someone (esp a fella) they dont know.

oh and i cant understand why people come to the conclusion you are stalker material just cos you fancy one particular girl. Obviously your going to think about her if you fancy her. I have never stalked or followed anyone or felt the need to thank you very much.

ill admit i would consider myself a good looking bloke and i treat women with respect but probably wouldnt be the best at pulling girls. i dont understand the female mind that much. ive found women can blow hot and cold.

Unregkizjfhsd wrote:

Non-reg,did you at any time show her any interest?

ive often just saluted her and tried to play it cool as i can.i havent had one opportunity to chat to her on her own. i would have had a stab at least if i had got that chance and see what happens. i suppose the reason im asking what to do is that life can move very quickly and i would regret it if i didnt act

LegacyUser

WhiteWashMan wrote:

so, let me get this straight...

theres a girl who lives near you that you see occassionally, have said hello to and thats all you know about her..

... and you have built up some sort of mad fantasy in your head and apparently there are 'games' she plays.

i never actually stated she is playing mind games with me and no im not warped enough to think there is one big conspiracy going on. i simply implied she may be one of these flirty type girls who enjoys flirting to see if she'll get a response. she may not be.

whitewash if and when in any part of your life you were single and out on the pull or went to the pub or the time you were in school,college, work or whatever, would you be able to tell if a girl fancied you by the way she looked at you or behaved around you. im just trying to make you see things from my perspective. obviously your entitled to your opinion

WhiteWashMan

listen, you dont know the girl and youre talking about calling tothe house and chatting, maybe flowers?

all because she said hello?

you mentioned that you thought she might be playing games.

the girl has said hello.

thats it.

she may see you and say to herself, 'hey, good looking guy', but it doesnt mean she wants to sleep with you.
why do guys constantly feel that if a girl shows any amount of friendliness, then there is something there?
you know it is actually possible for a woman to say hello to a bloke without thinking of having sex with him.

although, i have to admit, the unreg conversations in here are pretty funny. its beavis and butthead tbh...

amazingemmet

WhiteWashMan wrote:

you know it is actually possible for a woman to say hello to a bloke without thinking of having sex with him.

True, but shame it doesn't work the other way. To the op wait til she's finished with lil boy racer then give it a try

Kevin_rc_ie

carve her name into your arm or just ignore her and go for someone in your own league. talking to her if it seems apropriate is a good idea.

LegacyUser

WhiteWashMan wrote:

listen, you dont know the girl and youre talking about calling tothe house and chatting, maybe flowers?

all because she said hello?

you mentioned that you thought she might be playing games.

the girl has said hello.

thats it.

Eye contact is one of the most obvious signs of attraction..So if he is getting delayed glances from this girl as he says,hes probably got a good chance if he plays his cards right...

He never mentioned she was playing games,and even after he told told you he never said that you say it again lol....

Believe it or not,if she uses strong eye contact and greets him the way he says(possible conversation invite), I would say she likes him and wants to know who he is/what hes like...

she may see you and say to herself, 'hey, good looking guy', but it doesnt mean she wants to sleep with you.
why do guys constantly feel that if a girl shows any amount of friendliness, then there is something there?
you know it is actually possible for a woman to say hello to a bloke without thinking of having sex with him.

Were you ever in the situation where you were seeing a girl and things are getting a bit hot,your teasing her a bit and all of a sudden the sexfreak inside her is unleashed,without you ever knowing it existed...because of my experience in these situations I find it hard to believe that when women see a man they are attracted to,they just think, 'oh,what a handsome man' as apposed to 'man i'd love his stiff one in me right now'


I'd read the original post twice over next time WWM,this is a personal issues forum and you being a moderator,I dont think it would look to good if you give some half-assed,TV enspired advice which could end up quite damaging to the creater of the thread..To be honest,you probably shouldnt even reply if you arent very experienced in the rules of attraction..

--

Non-reg,if your going to talk to her whenever her and her bf leave each other,whatever you do,dont come off to her as if you have been thinking about her this whole time or that you are willing to praise her and shower her with love...You want to come off as though you are the man and you can get girls better than her anytime you want..If she gets this impression,this girl will be working for your attention and will want to know what all the fuss is about

Goodluck with whatever you do..

WhiteWashMan

amazingemmet wrote:

True, but shame it doesn't work the other way.

lol.
you know, i actually had that written down, but deleted it.

i thought that was far to obvious. i like there to be some guess work and mystery to my posts sometimes.

im thinking of growing a long white whispy beard and talking in cantonese as well.

Chinafoot

Unregkizjfhsd3 wrote:

Were you ever in the situation where you were seeing a girl and things are getting a bit hot,your teasing her a bit and all of a sudden the sexfreak inside her is unleashed,without you ever knowing it existed...because of my experience in these situations I find it hard to believe that when women see a man they are attracted to,they just think, 'oh,what a handsome man' as apposed to 'man i'd love his stiff one in me right now'

not all of life is like a porno mate.

i have to say that that is the first time in a long time the PI board actually made me laugh out loud. so thanks for that.
and yet at the same time, your post makes me very very sad....sad for the future of this country and sad because i think you actually believe what you have said.

Unregkizjfhsd3 wrote:

You want to come off as though you are the man and you can get girls better than her anytime you want..If she gets this impression,this girl will be working for your attention and will want to know what all the fuss is about

yes, and that will work provided she is about 14 years old and hasnt a brain in her head. :rolleyes:

the pair of you are pretty clueless when it comes to women to be honest. but im glad i got a giggle out of it

LegacyUser

what ive said has been taken out of context by some clever individuals. its amazing how they manage to find some topics pathetic yet always seem to muster several useless opinions on the matter.

WhiteWashMan

ah now, just because i havent given you the answer you were looking for, doesnt mean you have to go and be abusive.

if i have taken things out of context, then you should try being clearer about what you say.

Beruthiel

non-reg wrote:

what ive said has been taken out of context by some clever individuals. its amazing how they manage to find some topics pathetic yet always seem to muster several useless opinions on the matter.

honestly
if you think you have been taken out of context then you need to be clearer.
what I read from your original comment is:

a girl you like the look of smiles and says hello to you.
from that you have worked out that she fancies you.

if this is correct so far then I suggest that you might be making a mountian out of a mole hill where this girl is concerned and that you imagine something between you that isn't there at all.

WhiteWashMan

Unregkizjfhsd3 wrote:

Eye contact is one of the most obvious signs of attraction..So if he is getting delayed glances from this girl as he says,hes probably got a good chance if he plays his cards right.....

and seeing where you are going often results in less bumps to the shins youll find. or, maybe this guy is staring at her, and she sees him doing and keeps looking back because he is staring at her.
hey, you know, we can put opposite spins on this all day, my point is that what he thinks is not neccesarily true.

Unregkizjfhsd3 wrote:

He never mentioned she was playing games,and even after he told told you he never said that you say it again lol......

the OP said he didnt know what games she was playing.

now i dont know what the girls Game is.

perhaps you need to read the thread again? you seem to just pluck out what you want to read.

Unregkizjfhsd3 wrote:

elieve it or not,if she uses strong eye contact and greets him the way he says(possible conversation invite), I would say she likes him and wants to know who he is/what hes like...

and i dont believe i ever said it wsnt true.

i said that he should be careful because he seems to be making a whole fantasy up in his mind, and all thats happened is a couple of glances, and a few hellos.
hardly romeo and juliet now youll admit?

Unregkizjfhsd3 wrote:

I'd read the original post twice over next time WWM,this is a personal issues forum and you being a moderator,

are you telling me i cant post? are you telling me that because im a moderator that i cant actually have an opinion?
what difference does it make if i am a moderator of this forum.

id like a really long answer on that.

i mean, its kinda funny from someone who hasnt got the balls to post under a registered name anyway...

Unregkizjfhsd3 wrote:

I dont think it would look to good if you give some half-assed,TV enspired advice which could end up quite damaging to the creater of the thread....

and i could say the same about your 'advice', but really its all subjective. for some reason you have just chosen to believe that your advice is the right one. i have merely stated my own opinion. i believe the term for people like you is 'intolerant'.
its not a very nice trait. not very sexy some would say even...

however, if someone wants to post ina public forum, then they should expect to get answers that they may not want to hear, or even thought about.

i think you have a bigger problem than the OP tbh. perhaps you just like to be right all the time, and cant stand to have people disagree with you?
you know, thats ok. weve all been there. but really, what does it matter if you are unregged? youre still a nobody.

Unregkizjfhsd3 wrote:

To be honest,you probably shouldnt even reply if you arent very experienced in the rules of attraction..

and you probably shouldnt reply until youve actually gone out with someone, but again, its a public bullitan board, and anyone can reply. even if they do want to hide their identity...

Unregkizjfhsd3 wrote:

If she gets this impression,this girl will be working for your attention and will want to know what all the fuss is about ..

although god forbid if she actually asks the OP for the time. he will definately think she wants him then....

LegacyUser

WhiteWashMan wrote:

ah now, just because i havent given you the answer you were looking for, doesnt mean you have to go and be abusive.

if i have taken things out of context, then you should try being clearer about what you say.

ah now in fairness i havent written anything abusive.

your absolutely entitled to your opinion but you have to admit you took shreds out of me getting it across.

for the sake of argument when i stated "i dont know what this girls game" is was a figure of speech i.e i am merely wondering is the attraction mutual or is it one way and hopeful like you think it could be. maybe your right maybe i am making much ado about nothing. im man enough to admit its a strong possibility it may be a dirty unknown habit i have like some people pick their nose for example or others belch

oh and i never stare but i confess dont look at the floor when i am saluting people either.

your concern is moving but im not away with the fairies like some posters seem to assume. i might be guilty of reading between the lines too much but grangegorman can wait just a bit longer.

i think this thread has provoked to much unneccessary needle and should be closed at this point in time. i suppose it has proved good in getting it off my chest

slan

Hagar

WhiteWashMan wrote:

listen, you dont know the girl and youre talking about calling tothe house and chatting

A word of warning...

I did exactly that and next Valentine's Day will be our 25th Wedding Anniversary.

No Sh1t.

LegacyUser

just a note to whitewashman. you are spot on, on the point about being careful as things dont often go the way you'd think they are going to.

im merely just enquiring to know what the signs are. if probably i should make a move or spend the rest of my days wondering 'what if'. if i should make a move what should it be.

i do agree with you that eye contact and long glances in general are not concrete enough to go on.

i suppose it boils down to me being a firm believer in carpe diem however i am afraid it could blow up in my face. thats why i created this thread. there is a fair division of opinion on this matter. i suppose the only thing i could do is do nothing. make an effort to make friends with her if i get the chance and hope for the best.

Dub_Ster

I recently made a post with literatly the same problem .

I think the most important thing is get to no each other well then a take it from there it always works the better way as for my ideals on what i was going to do I decided to reframe my self for maybe a month or to cause well i have all the time in the world , plus theres other reasons .....

as for your problem mate get to no her see how you get on thats your best bet .and then take it from there you may like her but you may end up disagreeing with each other a lot so i would get to no her ....but im not trying to sound negitive at all ...

Kingp35

Dub_Ster wrote:

I recently made a post with literatly the same problem .

I think the most important thing is get to no each other well then a take it from there it always works the better way as for my ideals on what i was going to do I decided to reframe my self for maybe a month or to cause well i have all the time in the world , plus theres other reasons .....

as for your problem mate get to no her see how you get on thats your best bet .and then take it from there you may like her but you may end up disagreeing with each other a lot so i would get to no her ....but im not trying to sound negitive at all ...

eh you seem to be missing his point. He doesnt know this girl AT ALL. So just telling him to go and get to know her better isnt exactly going to work. The problem is that he wants to know whether he should go and talk to her or not.

Ok I think you are way over exagerating you get lots of glances from women everyday and generally it means nothing. You are believeing what you want to believe and thinking what you want to think she is simply being friendly because you continually run into each other. Like I see a girl on the dart coming home everyday that its come to the point where we say hi and laugh about it but so what it means nothing all it is "hello".

But anyway if this is what you think then yeah go for it I really dont see that you have any reason not to. You dont know her so whats the worst that could happen. She says no and you go on living your life. Im sure you could live with yourself if she said no as you dont even know her.

Anyway go for it if you think she likes you but I very much doubt it

LegacyUser

i suppose im giving a bit of a light description to the viewers here. Its one of these scenarios where on the umpteenth occasion of it happening you get a gut feeling that if there was mutual attraction that there might be something there to kick start. Now please god understand im normally a sceptic and i never have done this.

Now i was sharing the opinion and still 50% of me still shares the opinion of the doubters who replied and your doubts are understandable.


well im not the expert obviously thats why im asking what are the signs. but sure regardless of all the so called gazing and eye contact i will try put myself into a position so as i can see where things will go. sure what else can i do. i suppose its like a job interview. you never get the ones you come out positive about but the ones you are negative about or dont want. ill bide my time and see how things go.

Mr. Presentable

mp3guy wrote:

i must refer you to this;

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/construction.html

Read it, and then think a bit.

mp3guy, that is f***ing great! I am on 3 wrong ladders and 1 right one. I always knew I was on the wrong ladders, just never knew that I was on the wrong ladders, if you get me.

LegacyUser

amazingemmet wrote:

True, but shame it doesn't work the other way. To the op wait til she's finished with lil boy racer then give it a try

you talk as if that is inevetible????

WhiteWashMan

non-reg wrote:

Now i was sharing the opinion and still 50% of me still shares the opinion of the doubters who replied and your doubts are understandable.

.

well, i never once told you not to go for it.
i merely said that you should be careful because it sounds like there is more going on in your head than in real life. oh, and i gave my opinion, but i dont feel the need to go over that again.

how do you know she is still going out with the boy racer by the way?

LegacyUser

WhiteWashMan wrote:

well, i never once told you not to go for it.
i merely said that you should be careful because it sounds like there is more going on in your head than in real life. oh, and i gave my opinion, but i dont feel the need to go over that again.

how do you know she is still going out with the boy racer by the way?

at this present moment in time i couldnt say for sure but a relative of mine who lives on the same road complained about the speed he is doing. that was approx 2 weeks ago

LegacyUser

Hagar wrote:

A word of warning...

I did exactly that and next Valentine's Day will be our 25th Wedding Anniversary.

No Sh1t. [/QUOTE}

i dont want to sound like im looking for inspiration here but did you know her at all before you got to know each other and then started going out Hagar????

id just like to hear from someone in a similar boat. sorry if im being nosey