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Other girls...

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    #32
    tinkerbell
    Registered Users Posts: 6,423 ✭✭✭tinkerbell


    Okay ... so you love your girlfriend "to bits", but you want to sleep with other people, and you are setting yourself up already, so as to get sexual experience?

    Pardon me if I'm wrong, but it sounds to me like you're just using any old excuse just so you can sleep around.

    If you loved your girlfriend, it wouldn't matter if she was more or less experienced than you. Trying to fob off sleeping with another woman as an excuse to get experience is just lame.

    To be extremely blunt about it, why can't you just practice on your girlfriend?! What's the crime in that? Practice makes perfect, after all.

    But it sounds like you are just using it as an excuse to hide something else.


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    #33
    rideordie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 116 ✭✭rideordie


    if you love someone you shouldn't want to fuk around..but if you do then go ahead and dump her and fuk around..easy :confused:


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    #34
    Talliesin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭Talliesin


    amazingemmet wrote:
    Thats why honesty on both parties account is key.
    True. But then it doesn't look like he's at a stage where he's considering a polyamourous or open relationship, he's just feeling insecure in what he's bringing to a monogamous one.

    So, if he can bring up that insecurity and they can deal with it great.

    If he goes straight into "I think I should sleep with someone else"? Well, take a look at the majority opinion on this thread. You and I may not agree with it as the only way to live ones life, but it is the relationship roadmap laid down in our society, and the odds are his partner isn't going to be okay with hearing that.

    Yeah, if monogamy isn't something that would work for him (and then, there are some people who could do monogamy and who could do another lifestyle as well, and be honestly happy either way) then he needs to be upfront about that, but I don't think that's what he's saying.


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    #35
    athena 2000
    Closed Accounts Posts: 317 ✭✭athena 2000


    Talliesin wrote:
    True. But then it doesn't look like he's at a stage where he's considering a polyamourous or open relationship, he's just feeling insecure in what he's bringing to a monogamous one.

    It's a bit sad that he's got a great girlfriend and he could explore his relationship with her and yet he thinks that his experience isn't good enough. What is it? A test? Everyone has to be a tantric sex god/dess before they've even begun?

    OP, sleeping around isn't going to get you the experience you think you should have. That's just an external solution. I think you'll make yourself feel worse in the long run. It would be better to look at why you have this insecurity. A great girlfriend isn't going to ridicule you. Hopefully, she loves you to bits too. I imagine she appreciates the fact that you haven't slept with 10,000 virgins and she gets you to herself. :)


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    #36
    amazingemmet
    Registered Users Posts: 4,057 ✭✭✭amazingemmet


    Talliesin wrote:
    True. But then it doesn't look like he's at a stage where he's considering a polyamourous or open relationship, he's just feeling insecure in what he's bringing to a monogamous one.

    So, if he can bring up that insecurity and they can deal with it great.

    here, here


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    #37
    vibe666
    Registered Users Posts: 13,016 ✭✭✭✭vibe666


    its not abnormal to think about being with someone else from time to time, but actually doing it may well change your current relationship to a point where it's not the thing you are experiencing now.

    you and your other half have a connection that's just between the two of you, and that's a special thing. if you go and sleep with someone else now, that bond will be broken, even if only subconsciously on your side of things, and you won't have the same relationship any more.

    if you feel like you really need to do this then you really aren't mready for marriage, and you should break up with her now before you do anything with this opther girl.

    few things hurt more on a deeply personal level than the person you have given yourself to cheating on you and betraying your trust.


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