Nice guys

WhiteWashMan

Novocaine wrote:

Speaking as a red - hot blooded straight male I am I wrong when I say its a waste of time to be nice to women. They all say they want some1 nice but in reality they don't. I mean where's the adventurousness in being nice?

where does it say that in order to be 'nice', you cant be 'adventurous?

what exactly do you mean by nice anyway?

having sex with two gorgeous women at the same time is 'nice', but so is cheesecake.

Altheus

Cheesecake is rank.

*Page*

ye i dont like cheese cake nor do i like 3 somes (can cause a lot of negitive vibes)

Quantum

Novocaine wrote:

Speaking as a red - hot blooded straight male I am I wrong when I say its a waste of time to be nice to women. They all say they want some1 nice but in reality they don't. I mean where's the adventurousness in being nice?

This is one of the oldest myths around... the girl who wants guys to be man to her. Come on !

The truth is that among women there is always and has always been a small group that like the 'rebel' types. They go for the guys who treat them like sh1t - mainly because they come from screwed up families.
Most women worth being with like guys who make them feel special when they are with hem. Who pay attention to THEM when they are out on a date and not every skirt or plunging blouse that walks past. Guys who have managed to mature beyond 15 years o age. Guys who don't make a big deal of who pays for what, but keep it balanced and can appreciate the politics of money. Guys who make them laugh and don't mouth to their mates about them behind their backs. It's not a mystery, not brain surgery. You get the kind of girl that you deserve.

nesf

Eh.

I'm a nice guy. But um that doesn't mean, I don't flirt, or am not cheeky etc.

nice != no confidence
nice != boring
nice != a bag full of issues
nice != unattractive
nice != cheap

etc.

It's just many guys blame being nice for not pulling women. There's generally other problems playing a part. Being nice will count against you for some women, but there are plenty women out there that like nice guys.

Take an honest look at yourself. There is probably something you can improve about yourself or something. I don't care. Just be happy and do things you want.

That said, everyone has flaws, and what's a flaw in one person's eyes can be a turn on in anothers.

So meh, be yourself. You'll find someone etc etc

CaptainPeacock

It's not about being nice or evil. Just wear a wedding ring or pretend you're gay or pay a prostitute to hold hands with you and pretend to be your girlfriend; then all the other wimmin will want your sex.

aliveandkicking

Peteee wrote:

nice != boring

Nice guys finish last

They'll see you as a 'friend' and nothing else.

So true

The Corinthian

The problem with the majority of self-proclaimed nice guys is that they’re not actually nice. They’re boring, socially inept, clueless and in some cases even downright creepy. Simply because they see a woman attracted to someone who is more forthcoming, self-assured and, let’s face it, fun they assume that it’s because the guy in question is a bastard or, by extension, if they fail to possess these qualities it’s because they’re nice. They’re not.

Of course, this is not to say that there are not real bastards or nice guys out there either, only that most are mislabelled or mislabel themselves out of some form of deluded vanity.

Scarinae

The Corinthian wrote:

The problem with the majority of self-proclaimed nice guys is that they’re not actually nice. They’re boring, socially inept, clueless and in some cases even downright creepy. Simply because they see a woman attracted to someone who is more forthcoming, self-assured and, let’s face it, fun they assume that it’s because the guy in question is a bastard or, by extension, if they fail to possess these qualities it’s because they’re nice. They’re not.

Of course, this is not to say that there are not real bastards or nice guys out there either, only that most are mislabelled or mislabel themselves out of some form of deluded vanity.

I think this post has just hit the nail on the head. Of course women like nice guys! However, they are a lot more likely to go for outgoing, friendly types who seem like a lot of fun - unfortunately, a lot of the more confident guys are the bastards. Just get more confidence, you don't have to start being a wanker to try get women

Tar.Aldarion

*Page* wrote:

i was waiting for that!

that's what she said ^^

anyway...i think im too nice so i throw i a bit of fake meanness ya know?

Chinafoot

i have, once or twice, used the phrase "he's too nice" when describing a guy i wasnt romantically interested in.
a lot of women say that when they really mean that the guy is a total door-mat or they are just simply not interested in them at all.

as has already been pointed out, being a "nice guy" doesnt mean you are boring, unadventurous or unattractive. i know i personally dont fancy being with somebody who treats me like crap.

as for the dinner/drinks thing. the stubborn streak in me means that i pay for myself. if we go for dinner, we split the bill. if a guy buys me a drink, i get him the next one.

a lot of women are the same. we're not all gold-diggers out for what we can get. nor do we all want some james dean look-a-like who'll make us cry

OLDYELLAR

I like nice , nothing worse than arrogant pr*cks who act like there doin ya a favour going out with ya , having been with a complete d*ck for a while , I`ll take nice any day of the week.

By the way every woman is different , heres a tip dont bunch us all into one category , brings on my pms.

Dizzyblabla

I am one of those girls who has yet to find the "nice guy" - but see, maybe everyone is thinking it, or maybe I'm the most shallow person around, but nice just doesn't cut it, people have flowered it up by saying that they're not "romantically interested" - nice is all well and good, but there has to be some physical attraction too..

When out in a nightclub or pub (which is where we all go to try and meet someone) - what do you do? Look for the guy who looks "nice" over in the corner, or go straight over to the guy who's having a laugh with his friends and looks HOT!?? - I know what I'd do!!

As for the buying dinner etc... Most girls, as they have already testified, do like to be treated well, but in saying that, it does not have to be an expensive meal in a fancy restraunt, it's the romantic gesture behind it that matters, order a Chinese and have a romantic night in! Get some chips from the van at the beach and an ice-cream afterwards.

We do not expect to have everything paid for us, those days are long gone, we actually prefer (well I do) to contribute, we do not like to be thought of as leeches or anything of the sort!

The nice guy is the guy that can have a laugh, and yet be serious, be quite good looking (no, we're not looking for Brad Pitt's), treat us well, make us feel good about ourselves and have fun! Be spontaneous, don't be a door mat, women need a challenge, a relationship would get very boring very quickly if everything we suggested was agreed with..

Maybe that guy just doesn't exist.. cause I sure as hell haven't found him yet... *sigh*

Jonny Arson

Dizzyblabla wrote:

The nice guy is the guy that can have a laugh, and yet be serious, be quite good looking (no, we're not looking for Brad Pitt's), treat us well, make us feel good about ourselves and have fun! Be spontaneous, don't be a door mat, women need a challenge, a relationship would get very boring very quickly if everything we suggested was agreed with..

Well thats kinda me except I'm better looking than Brad Pitt! :rolleyes:

Anyways I am a ''nice bloke'' but sadly it has never ever got me anywhere with the opposite sex. Now I'm only 19 but I already realise that been too nice to people sadly won't get you anywhere with women or people in general. This doesn't mean I am going to change who I am. The day I become a bastard will be the day i've lost my soul. I'm not getting success with the women but I do want to stay true to myself and not put on any front that I'm not (by being a ''bad guy''). For me I've got to stay nice, it is in me, but I am streetwise with people by not letting people take advantage of me. Getting the right mix is the way to go.

Good will always win over bad at the end of the day.... being nice may take you longer to get what you want but being nice will be worth it in the end when women finally grow up and realise that ''bad guys'' will treat them like sh!t .

Bottom line is if you're nice stay that way but don't let anyone use you.

The Corinthian

Zane from MTV2 wrote:

Good will always win over bad at the end of the day....

Which episode of the Carebears did you get that little gem from?

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

season 2 episode 13 - the carebears visit mordor ?

Dizzyblabla

Mordeth wrote:

season 2 episode 13 - the carebears visit mordor ?

ahha ha ha ha ha!

The Corinthian

Mordeth wrote:

season 2 episode 13 - the carebears visit mordor ?

I was probably out knitting friendship bracelets when that episode was on...

Eve e

Hmmmmmmm If you are over 21(and still sneering at what a idealist 19 year old teenager thinks )you don't have you're head together & probably never will. :rolleyes:

The Corinthian

Eve e wrote:

Hmmmmmmmmmm If you are over 21(and still sneering at what a idealist 19 year old teenager thinks )you don't have you're head together & probably never will. :rolleyes:

Thanks for than Sigmund. I look forward to reading your paper on the subject.

Eve e

O.K. I will hand It back to you while you are sitting in your pseudo-psychologist armchair.

jonny68

Son_of_Belial wrote:

Treat 'em mean... You really just need to find a healthy balance. By all means be a gentleman but make it clear right from the word go that you won't be a door-mat by any means and try to be assertive at times. Don't be a complete yes man. Women (in my experience anyway) like that.

spot on there mate pity i didnt learn that earlier

Dub_Ster

its like this women need adventure and fun if it aint there its bring keep them guessing take a chance and dont agree with them well if you dont , and you say you do , your not really being your self testthem keep them on your toes make them work as much as they are willing to work if you understand but treat them good dont be affriad to be late eather ...............

LegacyUser

Theres been a lot of sense talked in this thread. Some self proclaimed "nice guys" are just weak doormats with little social skills and its no surprise that they don't attract women however there are the genuinely nice guys who are confident, fun etc. but who are very nice to women. Unfortunately these kinda guys are not really attractive to *most* women either. Its just nature, women seem to be attracted to the "bad boys" more than to the nice guys.