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Obnoxious Chat up lines!

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2

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    #32
    kittenkiller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,433 ✭✭✭kittenkiller


    Oooo... lets set up a GRAMMAR forum!!

    Then we could all go around saying,
    'Hey bebe, wanna come back to mine & slag off people for the incorrect use of the english language & if things get really kinky we can laugh at their typin errors?'

    Sexeh!


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    #33
    PlayaFlow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 311 ✭✭PlayaFlow


    nay
    Repli wrote:
    I Like You
    Do You Like Me
    "No??....But whay not??


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    #34
    Adam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,866 ✭✭✭Adam


    nay
    kittenkiller wrote:

    Sexeh!

    :eek:
    Thats not even a word!!!


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    #35
    angry_fox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 744 ✭✭✭angry_fox


    nay
    Ever had your belly button licked........ from the inside??


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    #36
    kittenkiller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,433 ✭✭✭kittenkiller


    fade_to_grey wrote:
    :eek:
    Thats not even a word!!!
    I have truely let myself down fade.

    How about this one, 'So, yer ma was an ok ride. You any better?'


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    #37
    Adam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,866 ✭✭✭Adam


    nay
    kittenkiller wrote:
    I have truely let myself down fade.

    How about this one, 'So, yer ma was an ok ride. You any better?'

    Are you asking me personally or just contributing to the thread?? :o


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    #38
    kittenkiller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,433 ✭✭✭kittenkiller


    Contributing.
    I already KNOW what you're like!
    & i'm sorry, i'm sure it's awkward for you, but with all the medical miracles these days, i'm sure one day thet'll figure out somethings that can help you fade.


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    #39
    Adam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,866 ✭✭✭Adam


    nay
    How about this one:

    /me picks up a hot chick and walks out of the club


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    #40
    kittenkiller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,433 ✭✭✭kittenkiller


    I bet you have a cunning stunt!


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    #41
    LadyJ
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,122 ✭✭✭LadyJ


    Some guy taking a piss round the side of a pub once said to me
    "Will ya shake this for us love?"

    6months later we got married round the side of that same pub.


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    #42
    padser
    Registered Users Posts: 2,375 ✭✭✭padser


    nay
    LadyJ wrote:
    Some guy taking a piss round the side of a pub once said to me
    "Will ya shake this for us love?"

    6months later we got married round the side of that same pub.



    uv got class


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    #43
    FreaK_BrutheR
    Closed Accounts Posts: 936 ✭✭✭FreaK_BrutheR


    Do you wanna dance?

    Yeah sure!

    Well **** off and dance till I chat to your mate...


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    #44
    Megatron
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,035 ✭✭✭Megatron


    nay
    back in the day , whenever the "lads" went away , we used to use chatup line bingo ... you had to use all the lines over a weekend.

    there where a few classics.

    Nice shoes wana fu-ck ?
    Do you like chicken ? yeah ... well suck my c0ck it's fowl.
    Do you like Jewelry ? yeah .. well suck my c0ck it's a jem.
    Do you beleive in love at first sight or should i walk by again ?
    Your eyes are like spanners , every time i look at them my nutz tighten ( one of my fav's .. always make me laugh , plus it's worked a few times as well).

    what is winks, has stamina by the bucking load and fu-cks liek a tiger ? /wink at them.

    What a gin and platonic or scotch and sofa ( have to say that sober).

    Wana see my elephant impression ? ( got thrown out of the Quays pub in galway for that :p )

    The name is bond ... james bond.

    Your dad must be a baker .. cuz you've got a great set of buns.

    load smore ( the list was 120 long , so we usualy had about 15 each)

    ahh the memories.

    but the one that i have found doesn't work over in Ireland , but works every time in the UK.

    Wana fu-ck or should i apologise ?


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    #45
    Banterville
    Closed Accounts Posts: 67 ✭✭Banterville


    nay
    **** me if im wrong but something tells me you want to kiss me.


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    #46
    Kermitt
    Closed Accounts Posts: 465 ✭✭Kermitt


    hold on till i get my dictionary, i heard you like cunning linguists


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    #47
    dondonjordan
    Registered Users Posts: 49 ✭dondonjordan


    nay
    Nice legs, what time do they open?

    "Look at girl and with your index finger call her over (you know witha kind of curl pointing towards you)

    When she comes over say "I made you come with one finger, wanna see what I can do with my whole body?"


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    #48
    Stix
    Closed Accounts Posts: 128 ✭✭Stix


    That could be dodgy if you have a few drinks on you.


    kittenkiller wrote:
    I bet you have a cunning stunt!


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    #49
    Bottle_of_Smoke
    Registered Users Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    dondonjordan wrote:
    Nice legs, what time do they open?

    "Look at girl and with your index finger call her over (you know witha kind of curl pointing towards you)

    When she comes over say "I made you come with one finger, wanna see what I can do with my whole body?"

    I'm likin!


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    #50
    melekalikimaka
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 10,686 Mod ✭✭✭✭melekalikimaka


    nay
    the variation the that one
    "if i can make you cum with one finger imagine what i can do with two"


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    #51
    Töpher
    Registered Users Posts: 8,484 ✭✭✭Töpher


    Want me to white-wash your ovaries?!

    ;)


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    #52
    endanagle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 53 ✭✭endanagle


    how 'bout this one...

    standing outside a club with a friend of mine.. girl standing near us says hi.. he looks at her, sighs and says "alright so, he'll do you while you suck my knob" - you should have seen the look on her face!!! :D


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    #53
    Rossonero
    Closed Accounts Posts: 396 ✭✭Rossonero


    You fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

    A face like a bull-dog chewing on a wasp.


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    #54
    Banterville
    Closed Accounts Posts: 67 ✭✭Banterville


    nay
    "I'd give you a poke if the telly's broke"

    "Have ya any land???" in mad country accent. (their reaction is priceless)


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    #55
    BossArky
    Moderators, Arts Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 9,496 Mod ✭✭✭✭BossArky


    nay
    Banterville wrote:
    Lets do maths...add a bed, subtract some clothes and i'll give you a square root.

    hilarious! :D


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    #56
    gimmick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,296 ✭✭✭✭gimmick


    "Does your belly fancy a lodger" is particularly manky. :o


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    #57
    knifey_spoonie
    Registered Users Posts: 3,648 ✭✭✭knifey_spoonie


    look at my sig

    "I know a beautyful girl like you will have heard a million chat up lines so what you think of this one" Works like a charm

    "so how long does a beautyful girl like you spend on her back"

    "Youve got legs like sergare, can ya ride like him to" just came up with that one


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    #58
    Zapho
    Registered Users Posts: 1,268 ✭✭✭Zapho


    Go up to a pair of twins and say "I don't wann come between you...or do I!"

    (Quagmire from FG!)


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    #59
    Jim_Are_Great
    Closed Accounts Posts: 652 ✭✭✭Jim_Are_Great


    Was your daddy a farmer, because you've nice melons.

    Just for the cheese factor.


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    #60
    namaimo
    Registered Users Posts: 223 ✭✭namaimo


    My name's celibate but im willing to change it for you... and it was used on me!!


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    #61
    Eyespy
    Registered Users Posts: 413 ✭✭Eyespy


    gimmick wrote:
    "Does your belly fancy a lodger" is particularly manky. :o

    A variation for this is Does your fanny fancy a lodger? When I heard it first, I FELL down laughing. The expression on his face was priceless.


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