Obnoxious Chat up lines!

Banterville

Lets post as many of em as possible so they can be used at "obnoxious nights". LOVE IT!!!!


You don't sweat much for a fat bird!

mayordenis

your not pretty but you'll do.

GoneShootin

Hello mother.



wait, what are we doing again?

Dades

"Would you like to dance?"
"No thanks"
"I'm sorry - you must have misheard me. I said you look fat in those pants."

Banterville

nay

Hey i'd really like to score you but i just don't want my mates to see so can we go around the corner???

crang

As long as my face is around you will always have a place to sit.

crang

" How did such a lovely girl like you end up with a face like that"

Adam

nay

Or the obvious classic: Wanna fu(k?

grimsbymatt

nay

Turn to a nearby girl and say "Excuse me, can I smell your fanny?"

Following her disgusted look and "No!", reply

"Oh, it must be your feet then".

*adele*

crang wrote:

" How did such a lovely girl like you end up with a face like that"

ha ha ha i like it!

hussey

Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

Draupnir

nay

Do ya wanna go halves on a bastard?

grimsbymatt

nay

The Atheist wrote:

"Would you like to dance?"
"No thanks"
"I'm sorry - you must have misheard me. I said you look fat in those pants."

I like it!

I once went up to a girl on a nightclub dancefloor and proclaimed: "Rub me knob and I'll gi'yer a quid". She didn't hear me the first two times, so I had to shout it really loud right in her ear. Needless to say, I slept alone that night.

Banterville

nay

Nice one Druapnir....

Your not the best looking girl here but we can leave the lights off!

Or

Im mightn't be the best looking lad here but im the only person over here talking to you!

jezza

my love for you is like diarohhia.
i just cant hold it in

Civilian_Target

lol! That's priceless - I have to use that sometime, just for a laugh.

Have to keep a straight face though...

padser

nay

go over, look at her for about 10 seconds up and down, and then 'maybe later'

Banterville

nay

You'd look well sitting on my face!

Only Human

nay

He- "Roses are red, violets are blue, I love spaghetti, let's go fcuk."

She- "Right........"

He:- "Fancy a sixty eight?"

She:- "What's that?"

He:- "You go down, and I'll owe you one"

She:- *Gives confused look*

He:- *Points at crotch*
"Well? It's not going to suck itself ! "

Banterville

nay

How do you like your eggs?
Fertilised?

Lets do maths...add a bed, subtract some clothes and i'll give you a square root.

Your knickers is a stairway to heaven.

SpAcEd OuT

is there a mirror in your pants cause i can see my face there

were your parents retarded cause I can tell your really special

Is there a ladder in your pants or is that the stairway to heaven

Do you work in Subway cause you just gave me a foot long

Are you a parking ticket cause you got fine written all over you

ferdi

nay

"If i had a bag of knobs, i'd give you one."

Scarinae

Banterville wrote:

Your knickers is a stairway to heaven.

Is bad grammar part of the allure, are are you just trying to chat up girls who are too thick to notice?

4Xcut

you plus me minus your cloths divide your legs and lets multiply

OR

You've got a face like a bag of hammers but no-one looks at the mantle piece while poking the fire

Banterville

nay

Fishie wrote:

Is bad grammar part of the allure, are are you just trying to chat up girls who are too thick to notice?

Fishie, could you please keep in line with the topic of the thread. It asks for a list of obnoxious chat up lines and not a critique of other peoples typos.

Thanks for the nit picking though!

Repli

I Like You
Do You Like Me

Optikus

nay

"Go grab your coat darling... you've just pulled"

Optikus

nay

This one normally works* well on skrangers pushing trams.. "Alright sweetheart, fancie going halfs on another bastard do ya?"





*dosent work (at all).

the_syco

Fishie wrote:

Is bad grammar part of the allure, are are you just trying to chat up girls who are too thick to notice?

Fishie, its "or are you". A type-o in a sentence coreecting a type-o. How ironic:D

=-=

Want to drink my champagne, baby?

Adam

nay

4Xcut wrote:

You've got a face like a bag of hammers but no-one looks at the mantle piece while poking the fire

In the same way that nobody looks at a nail while hitting it with a hammer... :rolleyes:

Adam

nay

the_syco wrote:

Fishie, its "or are you". A type-o in a sentence coreecting a type-o. How ironic:D

It's irony threefold!

kittenkiller

Oooo... lets set up a GRAMMAR forum!!

Then we could all go around saying,
'Hey bebe, wanna come back to mine & slag off people for the incorrect use of the english language & if things get really kinky we can laugh at their typin errors?'

Sexeh!

PlayaFlow

nay

Repli wrote:

I Like You
Do You Like Me

"No??....But whay not??

Adam

nay

kittenkiller wrote:

Sexeh!

:eek:
Thats not even a word!!!

angry_fox

nay

Ever had your belly button licked........ from the inside??

kittenkiller

fade_to_grey wrote:

:eek:
Thats not even a word!!!

I have truely let myself down fade.

How about this one, 'So, yer ma was an ok ride. You any better?'

Adam

nay

kittenkiller wrote:

I have truely let myself down fade.

How about this one, 'So, yer ma was an ok ride. You any better?'

Are you asking me personally or just contributing to the thread??

kittenkiller

Contributing.
I already KNOW what you're like!
& i'm sorry, i'm sure it's awkward for you, but with all the medical miracles these days, i'm sure one day thet'll figure out somethings that can help you fade.

Adam

nay

How about this one:

/me picks up a hot chick and walks out of the club

kittenkiller

I bet you have a cunning stunt!

LadyJ

Some guy taking a piss round the side of a pub once said to me
"Will ya shake this for us love?"

6months later we got married round the side of that same pub.

padser

nay

LadyJ wrote:

Some guy taking a piss round the side of a pub once said to me
"Will ya shake this for us love?"

6months later we got married round the side of that same pub.

uv got class

FreaK_BrutheR

Do you wanna dance?

Yeah sure!

Well **** off and dance till I chat to your mate...

Megatron

nay

back in the day , whenever the "lads" went away , we used to use chatup line bingo ... you had to use all the lines over a weekend.

there where a few classics.

Nice shoes wana fu-ck ?
Do you like chicken ? yeah ... well suck my c0ck it's fowl.
Do you like Jewelry ? yeah .. well suck my c0ck it's a jem.
Do you beleive in love at first sight or should i walk by again ?
Your eyes are like spanners , every time i look at them my nutz tighten ( one of my fav's .. always make me laugh , plus it's worked a few times as well).

what is winks, has stamina by the bucking load and fu-cks liek a tiger ? /wink at them.

What a gin and platonic or scotch and sofa ( have to say that sober).

Wana see my elephant impression ? ( got thrown out of the Quays pub in galway for that )

The name is bond ... james bond.

Your dad must be a baker .. cuz you've got a great set of buns.

load smore ( the list was 120 long , so we usualy had about 15 each)

ahh the memories.

but the one that i have found doesn't work over in Ireland , but works every time in the UK.

Wana fu-ck or should i apologise ?

Banterville

nay

**** me if im wrong but something tells me you want to kiss me.

Kermitt

hold on till i get my dictionary, i heard you like cunning linguists

dondonjordan

nay

Nice legs, what time do they open?

"Look at girl and with your index finger call her over (you know witha kind of curl pointing towards you)

When she comes over say "I made you come with one finger, wanna see what I can do with my whole body?"

Stix

That could be dodgy if you have a few drinks on you.

kittenkiller wrote:

I bet you have a cunning stunt!

Bottle_of_Smoke

dondonjordan wrote:

Nice legs, what time do they open?

"Look at girl and with your index finger call her over (you know witha kind of curl pointing towards you)

When she comes over say "I made you come with one finger, wanna see what I can do with my whole body?"

I'm likin!

melekalikimaka

nay

the variation the that one
"if i can make you cum with one finger imagine what i can do with two"

Töpher

Want me to white-wash your ovaries?!