The Wisdom of Noel Gallagher

magpie

Everyone knows Noel is good for soundbites. One I heard recently that I enjoyed was, when referring to his daughters love of The Scissor Sisters, "of course Anais likes the Scissor Sisters, she's a child and they make music for juveniles".

Favourite Noel quotes, please.

Tha Gopher

These arent exact mind....

Regarding Boyzone
"Boytzone? Were`nt they a costume change away from being the Tweenies?"

Regarding the S Club Juniors
"I bumped into them when we were recording in the same building. I thought they were kids from a special needs school or summat, I signed autographs and everything for them"

On the time he and Liam respectively recieved a Rolls and a Rolex as presents from the record company
"It was no good, cos I cant drive and Liam cant tell the time"

His "Q must stand for queer" rant after Robbie Williams won a Q award instead of Oasis

On why6 they called the song Songbird
"Its a song.....about me bird"

I wish theyd repeat that prog on BBC2 they did a year or two ago, think it was one of those Storyville docus about British music of the 90s, it was hilarious. Particularly Noels insights about how he would walk into the Hacienda and be appalled by the music, but after dropping a few yokes it sounded like works of genius

Bungalow Bill

A few good ones!

"This guy came up to me from some band and he said that 'Man, I'd hate to be you right now, no privacy at all' and I was thinking, 'Sure thing man, I have a ****ing Rolls Royce, a million dollars in the bank, a ****ing mansion and my own jet and you think you'd feel sorry for me? What are you? I'd hate to be you, broke as hell living in the dole.'"

"Sure I love Liam, but not as much as I love Pot Noodles"

"Americans are crazy. They have this fascination with throwing their shoes on stage. I've been to a lot of shows in me life, some good and some bad. But I was never moved to take off me shoes and throw it at the lead singer."

I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my Mum. I know I've got Irish blood because I wake up everyday with a hangover.'


"Someone was playing a joke when they made me, you know, 'Let's make this guy a writer and a guitar player, but let's make him write with his left hand but play with his right, and let's have him born in the middle of May and give him a Christmas name like Noel, and let's make him a dodgy, schizophrenic, two-faced Gemini.' Cheers!"

Jonny Arson

Noel Gallagher = LEGEND! Undisputed soundest bloke in rock n' roll

grumpytrousers

For Noel at some of his funniest (including the full S Club Juniors routine, along with calling Liam the 'Prince of Darkness) check out the DVD single of 'Songbird'. 10 minutes of unbridled buffoonery...

Jimmy_Jazz

"The three biggest twats in any band are always the singer, the keyboardist and the drummer. I don't need to say anything else." - Noel on Keane

"I'm equal part genius, equal part buffoon."

"I went to Paul McCartney's daughter Stella's party and who should open the door but the man himself. He was dead cool. There were all these questions I wanted to ask him but I settled on: 'Do you watch Brookside?'"

"Next year I hope to get a stalker or two because I don't believe you've
arrived until you get a stalker."

"Actually, me and Our Kid are just using this band as a stepping stone for our double act on the "David Letterman Show" as comedians, cheers!"

And finally:
Noel at Slane: "This one's called Hello."
Liam: "No, it's called Howareya!"

There were some great ones in last week's NME. I might dig it up tomorrow.

Bungalow Bill

A few from a recent interview:



Radio 1 spoke to Noel before the gig and asked if he shared Liam's apparent dislike for Keane and Kaiser Chiefs. He slagged them both recently and Tom from Keane hit back - here's Noel's thoughts:

"Keane, until they get a guitarist... It's actually quite heart warming that we're brought them down to our level, he called me a **** in the papers."

"I find it very amusing, his mum and dad will be waiting for him to get home and cane him when he gets in. He'll be phoning up saying 'I say, I think I've had it out in the press with the Gallagher brothers, sorry pater, I may have said the C word'."



"We hung out in the dressing room and that and he's a gent man, he's a top kid and I think he gets a real bad rap from the press and all this thing with Kate Moss - 'Kate had better beware' - well I know Kate Moss and it's Pete Doherty who better watch out because she is mad for it."

magpie

"I find it very amusing, his mum and dad will be waiting for him to get home and cane him when he gets in. He'll be phoning up saying 'I say, I think I've had it out in the press with the Gallagher brothers, sorry pater, I may have said the C word'."

Classic

lordgoat

shame he's not as talented a musican as he is at aking the piss, but then again he is in oasis

magpie

He's made a few million quid from playing guitar and writing songs. I'd rate that as being pretty talented.

Bungalow Bill

lordgoat wrote:

shame he's not as talented a musican as he is at aking the piss, but then again he is in oasis

Its a shame you believe all you read.

Listen to 'The masterplan', 'champagne supernova', 'supersonic', 'live forever', 'columbia', 'rock 'n' roll star', '(its good to be) free' and the small matter of 'Don't look back in anger' and tell me that man is not a genius.

angry_fox

Bungalow Bill wrote:

Its a shame you believe all you read.

Listen to 'The masterplan', 'champagne supernova', 'supersonic', 'live forever', 'columbia', 'rock 'n' roll star', '(its good to be) free' and the small matter of 'Don't look back in anger' and tell me that man is not a genius.

Dont forget about Wonderwall

Keyzer

Bungalow Bill wrote:

Its a shame you believe all you read.

Listen to 'The masterplan', 'champagne supernova', 'supersonic', 'live forever', 'columbia', 'rock 'n' roll star', '(its good to be) free' and the small matter of 'Don't look back in anger' and tell me that man is not a genius.

Talented - yes (to an extent)
Genius - Definitely not...

The music hasn't changed at all in 10 years, and the new album is crap...

magpie

OK, let's not go down the "the guy from [insert obscure bandname here] is a more deadly guitarist" route. This is neither the time nor the place.

More funny quotes from Noel please.

Half-Bicycle

Can't remember where I heard/read it but it's a quote about Oasis.

"Oasis are for people who hate music"

Keyzer

Start off with the ful story of the Oasis Vs. Coldplay feud

At a recent charity concert for kids with cancer, Coldplay's Chris Martin took the opportunity to vent his anti-war views:

During Everything’s Not Lost he urged the crowd: “Don’t be afraid to sing along, sing to end this war.” He also changed the lyrics of A Rush Of Blood To The Head to “I’m going to buy a gun and start a meaningless war.”
Not entirely unexpected since he's been a vocal opponent of the war. But it didn't sit well with Liam Gallagher of Oasis, who got off a profanity laced drunken tirade:

“Chris Martin shouldn’t be using this cause to bang on about his own f***in’ views on the war.
“If him and his gawky bird (Gwyneth Paltrow - ed.) want to go banging on about the war they can do it at their own gigs.

“That lot are just a bunch of nobhead students — Chris Martin looks like a f***in’ geography teacher. What’s all that f***in’ s*** with writing messages about Free Trade on his hand when he’s playing. If he wants to write things down I’ll give him a f***in’ pen and a pad of paper. Bunch of students.

“These gigs are about kids who have got cancer, they’ve got to fight a war every day of their lives. That’s what we’re all here doing this for.”


Maybe he has a point but I was laughing too hard to take it seriously. There must be no stronger insult to a rock star than to say he looks like a geography teacher.

Liam on Oasis without Noel

Interviewer: Do you think that Oasis would have had the same level of success without Noel in the band

Liam: I don't know. It's like asking if Jesus Christ would have been a pervert if he'd had a crisp packet stuck on his head?

Noel Gallagher on success "... Ive got 87 million quid in the bank right now. I've got 3 stalkers. Am I happy with that? NO I'M NOT! I WANT MORE!"


Noel on showbiz parties .."you would be at the bar and some bloke would say, would you pass us that @#%$ glass of red wine there, and your like WOW THATS GEROGE MICHEAL, and THE EDGE!!! Whoa, there's Sting, throw him out!"


excerpt from the Phone Ins with the band on US Radio.

Caller: "I was wondering. Do you have any advice for a young guy in a band who wants to make it REALLY big?"

Liam: "Yeah man, get yourself a pair of step ladders."


Noel on worship - 'when youre at glastonbury theres all this rivalry, cos youve all got your own campervan and its like 'im not talking to oasis' but its not our fault were the best band in the world, come over and pay homage'

Noel on what he wants - "All I ever wanted to do was make a record. Here's what you do: you pick up your guitar, you rip a few people's tunes off, you swap them round a bit, get your brother in the band, punch his head in every now and again, and it sells. I'm a lucky bastard. I'm probably the single most lucky man in the world, apart from our Liam."

Liam on U2's Bono - "You see pictures of Bono running around LA with his little white legs and a bottle of Volvic and he looks like a fanny."

Liam on a good night out - "I was walking along and this chair came flying past me, and another,and another, and I thought, 'man, is this gonna be a good night'."

Liam on aliens - "If I saw an alien, I'd tell it to f**k right off because whatever planet he came from they wouldn't have the Beatles or any deccent f*****g music. So they can f**k right off, I ain't going anywhere with them."

Liam on vanity - "I suppose I do get sad, but not for too long. I just look in the mirror and go, 'What a f***ing good-looking f*** you are.' And then I brighten up."

Liam on Victoria (Posh Spice) Beckham - "She can't even chew gum and walk in a straight line, let alone write a book."

Liam on Oasis success -
Interviewer: "What makes Oasis different?"
Bonehead: "Good songs."
Liam: "And a handsome lead singer with a beard."

Liam on his bum - ''I've got a @#%$ hairy ar$e, I've got a rasta ar$e. RAAAASTAAAAA"

Liam on yanks - "I'm not going to play for silly yanks when I haven't got a house to live in!"

Liam at the MTV Music Video Awards in New York 1996 - "Allright this party's @#%$ and we're here to liven things up a bit. You know you're not havin' a good time but you're all too scared to say it, ya know mate."

Liam on discipline - "Discipline? I don't know the meaning of the word."

Liam at PinkPop 2000 when the audience began throwing things at him - "I can't @#%$ sing and duck at the same time"

Liam on the search for a new bass player - "Yeah, ‘coz they’re all kn**heads anyway, aren’t they? We auditioned a bass player the other day but he like started singing songs about frogs and that, so we had to get rid of him"

Liams identity crisis - "John Lennon thought he was god. I just think I'm John Lennon."

Liam after a rock was thrown at him on stage - "Whoever's throwing things like this on stage...like...if you don't like the music, @#%$ off! If there're any more coming on, I'm off. And you gotta deal with all these people here who are enjoying themselves. If you don't like it, go @#%$ hang yourself! Don't be throwing @#%$ stones on stage like this...I don't wanna go blind over some @#%$ @#%$! This one's called...this one's called Roll With It, @#%$!"

Liam on bugs - "There was this bug in my room and I thought, 'you can fook off, this is my room.' "

Bungalow Bill

Keyzer wrote:

Talented - yes (to an extent)
Genius - Definitely not...

The music hasn't changed at all in 10 years, and the new album is crap...

Wow Liam is a funny bastard aswell isn't he!

The new album is anything but crap my friend. Are you basing this on Lyla?

Go listen to let there be love and the importance of being idle, they a great songs.

'Standing on the shoulder of giants' was a very different album. It saw Oasis using samples, trying a indian style on a song, the debut song from Liam and some much more psychedelic music. Its actually an excellent album if you give it a listen. Heathen Chemistry had 4 songwriters on it is that not a change?

Every oasis album has been really different, you actually have to listen to them and not read about them to realize that.

JimboPope

Oasis = ****e

They were in the right place at the right time. Simple as that. They are still riding their success from the mid nineties. They built up a pretty big fan base during those years and its them fans that are keeping them afloat today.

From experience oasis fans are a stubborn bunch who refuse to acknowledge the fact the band has has their hayday and are now very much over the hill.

Noel is still one funny fecker though, I could listen to the man speak all day, just not his music.

Bungalow Bill

JimboPope wrote:

Oasis = ****e

They were in the right place at the right time. Simple as that. They are still riding their success from the mid nineties. They built up a pretty big fan base during those years and its them fans that are keeping them afloat today.

From experience oasis fans are a stubborn bunch who refuse to acknowledge the fact the band has has their hayday and are now very much over the hill.

Noel is still one funny fecker though, I could listen to the man speak all day, just not his music.

No, no and no.

They have never had a song outside the top5, how is that riding your earlier success. The last two albums have sold about 10million copies, why would people keep listening to them if they don't like them?? its ridiculous.
I would say a sold-out stadium tour and sold out madison square garden and hollywood bowl is a little more than staying afloat, wouldn't you?

Keyzer

Bungalow Bill wrote:

Wow Liam is a funny bastard aswell isn't he!

The new album is anything but crap my friend. Are you basing this on Lyla?

Go listen to let there be love and the importance of being idle, they a great songs.

'Standing on the shoulder of giants' was a very different album. It saw Oasis using samples, trying a indian style on a song, the debut song from Liam and some much more psychedelic music. Its actually an excellent album if you give it a listen. Heathen Chemistry had 4 songwriters on it is that not a change?

Every oasis album has been really different, you actually have to listen to them and not read about them to realize that.

Dude, I don't an education on Oasis, I was listening to them when you were still in nappies... They have not progressed musically at all in the last 10 years. If you wan't to listen to a geniuses then try Dylan or Bowie etc.

magpie

Tell me more about this Dylan Bowie, he sounds interesting.

Keyzer

magpie wrote:

Tell me more about this Dylan Bowie, he sounds interesting.

He's the unknown lovechild of Bob Dylan and David Bowie....

Bungalow Bill

Keyzer wrote:

Dude, I don't an education on Oasis, I was listening to them when you were still in nappies... They have not progressed musically at all in the last 10 years. If you wan't to listen to a geniuses then try Dylan or Bowie etc.

Fair enough but I am 20!
I just honestly think that Noel is up there with the best of them.

drstaunch

Bungalow Bill wrote:

I would say a sold-out stadium tour and sold out madison square garden and hollywood bowl is a little more than staying afloat, wouldn't you?

Staying afloat like the rolling stones, what a contribution they have made to music in the last ten years. oasis are well past it, but let em still make albums, hell, you cant blame em if some idiots still buy their stuff

Keyzer

drstaunch wrote:

Staying afloat like the rolling stones, what a contribution they have made to music in the last ten years. oasis are well past it, but let em still make albums, hell, you cant blame em if some idiots still buy their stuff

No need to get personal....

Bungalow Bill

drstaunch wrote:

Staying afloat like the rolling stones, what a contribution they have made to music in the last ten years. oasis are well past it, but let em still make albums, hell, you cant blame em if some idiots still buy their stuff

**** that, their new album is quality, you'll see.

Half-Bicycle

Quality? Oasis are the musical equivalent of what The Sun is to the masses. So they sell shedloads of albums... so what. Does quantity equal quality?

Genius? Zappa, Beefheart, Can, Funkadelic, Hendrix, Jeff Buckley, Terry Callier, Miles Davis, Eno, Talking Heads, Leonard Cohen - there's talent and musical adventure for you.

Harrumph!

Bungalow Bill

Half-Bicycle wrote:

Quality? Oasis are the musical equivalent of what The Sun is to the masses. So they sell shedloads of albums... so what. Does quantity equal quality?

Genius? Zappa, Beefheart, Can, Funkadelic, Hendrix, Jeff Buckley, Terry Callier, Miles Davis, Eno, Talking Heads, Leonard Cohen - there's talent and musical adventure for you.

Harrumph!

****in' road to nowhere! crap song. Hendrix was a great guitarist but only had a handful of good songs. Buckley is most famous for doing a cover, Eno for being U2's producer and the rest of them, if they were any use I would have heard more by them.
Oasis have more great songs than that lot put together.
"musical equivalent of what the sun is to the masses"?? please, don't be a musical snob there is nothing worse.
Oasis are still better than most of the big bands out at the moment. Franz Ferdinand, Snow patrol, scissor sisters, killers, futureheads.

drstaunch

Bungalow Bill wrote:

Oasis have more great songs than that lot put together.

Sorry, but that is obviously wrong. how can you say that noel is up there with the best of em when he has pretty much said himself that he rips off alot of other songs. Oasis are a pub rock band that made it big, like a lot of other bands out there.

magpie

****in' road to nowhere! crap song. Hendrix was a great guitarist but only had a handful of good songs. Buckley is most famous for doing a cover, Eno for being U2's producer and the rest of them, if they were any use I would have heard more by them.
Oasis have more great songs than that lot put together.
"musical equivalent of what the sun is to the masses"?? please, don't be a musical snob there is nothing worse.
Oasis are still better than most of the big bands out at the moment. Franz Ferdinand, Snow patrol, scissor sisters, killers, futureheads.

Now you've all wandered off thread I may as well join in.

1) There's a lot more to Talking Heads than Road to Nowhere. May I recommend Remain in Light, produced by Brian Eno

2) Brian Eno is not famous for producing U2. He's famous for being in Roxy Music, recording excellent solo material, recording with Robert Fripp and producing for such luminaries as Bowie and the aforementioned Talking Heads.

In fairness Oasis aren't even in the same ballpark as these people.

Noel does have funnier quotes than Eno though.

Half-Bicycle

Bungalow Bill wrote:

****in' road to nowhere! crap song. Hendrix was a great guitarist but only had a handful of good songs. Buckley is most famous for doing a cover, Eno for being U2's producer and the rest of them, if they were any use I would have heard more by them.
Oasis have more great songs than that lot put together.
"musical equivalent of what the sun is to the masses"?? please, don't be a musical snob there is nothing worse.
Oasis are still better than most of the big bands out at the moment. Franz Ferdinand, Snow patrol, scissor sisters, killers, futureheads.

LOL! I guess you are a bit of a wind-up merchant but I'll indulge you all the same. Of all the Talking Heads output, you mention the one song that everyone knows. Why not Heaven? Life During Wartime etc etc. Agreed, it is a crap song compared to the earlier stuff. Hendrix had only a handful of good songs? What the ones you heard on a jeans advert? :rolleyes: Philistine! As regards Jeff Buckley, you're talking about the old Leonard Cohen song? Doesn't matter whether he's famous or not now, he was against all that celebrity stuff and was determined not to end up like his dad. Cult of dead rockstars etc. Buckley was a true genius and innovator and your comparing him to a Status Quo tribute band is a joke.

Eno is best known for his solo work and his days in early Roxy Music. Yes he happens to be a producer and has worked with quite a few talented bands, including Talking Heads.

If the rest of them were any use you'd have heard more by them? That's a puerile comment and not worth replying to.

I'm not a music snob, I have very catholic tastes when it comes to what I listen to. Everything from Sun Ra to Sepultura and then some. Yep, Oasis is truly for people who hate music...