Sex with people who you don't like..

Zulu

orla wrote:

I'm 19

no wat i mean is if u dont fancy a person at all not even one bit but would have sex with him just for the sake of it..

I have to say - when I was 19 I felt pretty much the same as you about having sex with people. Now-a-days it doesn't mean nearly as much to me, and hence the sharp drop in standards, as it were!

Zombrex

orla wrote:

no wat i mean is if u dont fancy a person at all not even one bit but would have sex with him just for the sake of it..

Do you know this is true? Are you sure he isn't just agreeing with his friends that she is a "minger" .. like someone said a preemptive slag to stop his mates slagging him, along the lines of "Dude she is a minger!", "Sure I know"

If everyone else thought she was really hot he probably would be strutting around telling everyone how hot she is.

I think there would have to be something about her he finds attractive otherwise he wouldn't get horny enought to sleep with her. Like I said he doesn't sleep with men or sheep just because they are there.

Stench Blossoms

I'm startin to think he just sleeps with her because he can..doesnt matter what she looks like..

jack shictt

yeh sure a lotta people do that kinda thing, but where it ends up is usally someone gettin hurt, i slept with a girl that i had no interrest in, and well i still hate meself for it, so have never done it since, If i ve no interest i dont bother. Why hurt someone who dosnt desrve it. some people have just no concensice. Orla sorry to say butt most of us males are arseholes who have no idea how to treat a girl and well just plain user's. they get want they want, then leave and see it all as a big joke. because gettin laid makes them cool (lmao) i belive it makes them feel better about there lack of confidence and self esteem, along with a few other things. Most of us are just shallow pigs. i know i am.

Zombrex

orla wrote:

I'm startin to think he just sleeps with her because he can..doesnt matter what she looks like..

Like I said, if he didn't find her some way attractive he wouldn't sleep with her. You said yourself she isn't that bad looking.

I would say he doesn't respect her at all though. Maybe that is the question you should ask, "Would you sleep with someone you didn't respect?"

Abdiel

orla wrote:

I'm 19

no wat i mean is if u dont fancy a person at all not even one bit but would have sex with him just for the sake of it..

Thanks for the clarification. I guess most of what has been suggested are all likely reasons - not wanting to admit his true feelings in front of other who put the other girl down, maybe it's just another "notch" on his belt, maybe he just sees it as practise, or maybe he's just too horny to say no.

who usually makes the first move in these situations - him or her ?

Stench Blossoms

Wicknight wrote:

Like I said, if he didn't find her some way attractive he wouldn't sleep with her. You said yourself she isn't that bad looking.

I would say he doesn't respect her at all though. Maybe that is the question you should ask, "Would you sleep with someone you didn't respect?"

but honestly, you don't know him you don't know if he does/doesnt find her attractive..

before he was even sleeping with her i asked him was she good lookin and he said no

Stench Blossoms

Abdiel wrote:

Thanks for the clarification. I guess most of what has been suggested are all likely reasons - not wanting to admit his true feelings in front of other who put the other girl down, maybe it's just another "notch" on his belt, maybe he just sees it as practise, or maybe he's just too horny to say no.

who usually makes the first move in these situations - him or her ?

he txts her, asks her is she around then they go have sex

Abdiel

As easy as that eh ? :-)
Maybe that's the attraction - little effort required and certainty of sex

c - 13

Sounds like the condition that is commonly known as "f*ck buddies"

One feels horny calls the other, they get it on, everyone goes home happy, no strings attached

Sherifu

As hard as it is to believe for some people looks don't play a major part in liking someone. As for sleeping with someone just for the sake of it, some people really like sex.

Zulu

jack shictt wrote:

Why hurt someone who dosnt desrve it. some people have just no concensice. Orla sorry to say butt most of us males are arseholes who have no idea how to treat a girl and well just plain user's. they get want they want, then leave and see it all as a big joke. because gettin laid makes them cool (lmao)

You're kidding right? Men score and women get hurt? - gimmie a break.
Are you honestly suggesting two adults can't have a mutual physical relationship without one getting hurt? How old are you?

Zombrex

orla wrote:

he txts her, asks her is she around then they go have sex

No but Orla you are missing the point. He could not get physically turned on by her enough for mr winky to string into action unless there was some level of attraction there.

Bri

There probably is a level of attraction there...she's probably just not upto the same calibre as 'most' men talk about openly as being hot - many, many guys go out / score girls they wouldn't explicitly comment on in the street. Seems to be simply a product of perfectionist society really.

Also, her 'been aroud the block' history would, at least in my mind, add to the embarrasment factor, etc.

Seems quite simple to me.

irlirishkev

Wicknight wrote:

No but Orla you are missing the point. He could not get physically turned on by her enough for mr winky to string into action unless there was some level of attraction there.

Have to agree with this.. most guys fancy something about the girl they're shagging, even if they tell their mates that they think she's a minger.. It's only in the moments after climax, the condition known as 'manbrain' that the guy will think... 'eugh what am I doing!!??'.. but then later on when he starts to feel horny again, he'll focus on what he does fancy about her, and the cycle begins again..

WhiteWashMan

i think some people have picked up the wrong end of the stick.
its not about why they have sex.

we all know why we have sex. because its fun, it makes us feel good. its a release, and it much more fun having sex with someone else!

its about why he has sex with someone that he says he doesnt find attractive.
personally, when i was his age, if they had 2 tits and a hole, i did it. i wasnt in the slightest bit attracted to any of them. what i was, was fúcking horny.

he slefs with her, becuase he is horny and he wants to unload, and its easier to sleep with some person who you know will put out, than get rejected by someone you dont know...

D

irlirishkev wrote:

Have to agree with this.. most guys fancy something about the girl they're shagging, even if they tell their mates that they think she's a minger.. It's only in the moments after climax, the condition known as 'manbrain' that the guy will think... 'eugh what am I doing!!??'.. but then later on when he starts to feel horny again, he'll focus on what he does fancy about her, and the cycle begins again..

Good point here. A friend of mine once pointed out that the way to make sure that you really like a girl is to have a **** and then think about her, so that the *cough* "second brain" wouldn't interfere.

sceptre

Wicknight wrote:

If he had sleep with a very good looking woman and then said she talked to much or had bad grammer would you bat an eyelid?

How bad is this hypothetical bad grammar?

Iago

As well as agreeing with WWM I think you have to take into account ability and chemistry.

You may not be very physically attracted to someone but if you have chemistry with them then something could happen, if that something is enhanced because they are great in bed then you're more likely to keep returning.

Lets be honest, even if the girl/guy were gorgeous if there was no chemistry in bed you wouldn't keep going back..

Zombrex

sceptre wrote:

How bad is this hypothetical bad grammar?

American bad ... :eek:

Sangre

Why does he have to be attracted to get aroused? Do you need a woman to get an erection to have a ****? No? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Who says he is thinking of her, close your eyes and a hole is a hole!

Zombrex

Sangre wrote:

Why does he have to be attracted to get aroused? Do you need a woman to get an erection to have a ****? No? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Who says he is thinking of her, close your eyes and a hole is a hole!

Well that is a possibility. But on the other hand if he wasn't attracted to her at all it probably wouldn't work to well unless he told her to lie there don't move and shut up.

Or put it another way I would imagine most staight men wouldn't be able to have sex with a man while closing his eyes and imagining he was actually Lucy Pinder

simu

I'm sure your friend would replace that girl with his favourite actress/model/whatever if he could, OP, but there's more to sex that how your partner looks and if you refuse to have sex with anyone who doesn't comply to your ideal standard of beauty, you'll miss out. What he's doing isn't really all that strange.

Sangre

Wicknight wrote:

Well that is a possibility. But on the other hand if he wasn't attracted to her at all it probably wouldn't work to well unless he told her to lie there don't move and shut up.

Or put it another way I would imagine most staight men wouldn't be able to have sex with a man while closing his eyes and imagining he was actually Lucy Pinder

Well it would be hard to imagine that with a cóck up your ass tbfh.

Lafortezza

this thread just improved... Why does it bother the OP so much that the guy sleeps with this girl then says he doesn't find her attractive? Why is it her business?

iguana

orla wrote:

He could do alot better but chooses to sleep with this girl because she's "easy". She's slept with most of the lads and passed on her share of STI's.

How do you know this? Unless you know something for a fact that is a very unfair thing to say. It is possible to have sex with a lot of partner and not catch anything. It just takes being careful.

On the original point; A few weeks ago I was at work and I got hungry, I had a sandwich from O'Briens. Personally I don't like their sandwiches, I think they are over-priced and nasty. But I was hungry, there weren't that many options available so that was what I had. Now it wasn't good; but I had a need for food and that fulfilled it. I was certainly feeling much more satisfied and happy after eating it. It was by no means a Tandoori Butter Chicken from my favourite Indian, but it hit the spot! And that is why people sleep with someone who may not set their world on fire.

They feel like sex, there aren't many options so they take what's available. They may prefer great sex with their fantasy partner/ ex / someone they love. But this isn't bad, it fulfills a need. There would be some level of attraction or over-riding horniness. The only difference between this and my sandwich analogy is that there is less history of religious and social dictates surrounding food.

Why does this bother you so much? It is two people with a mutually satisfying arrangement. I could be off the wall - but do you secretly wish your friend was more than a friend, and can't understand why he'd choose her over you?

hepcat

I think, from reading the OPs posts, it bothers her that he (or anyone) can have sex without violins playing in the background and sweet nothings being whispered. or "loveless" sex...but she is 19...aahh.

WhiteWashMan

hepcat wrote:

I think, from reading the OPs posts, it bothers her that he (or anyone) can have sex without violins playing in the background and sweet nothings being whispered. or "loveless" sex...but she is 19...aahh.

and of course, being patronising will help her to overcome the need to ask questions, wont it.....?

i always find it funny the way the male youth on boards always tries to turn something back on a woman when they feel their little male egos being attacked by such an innocent question.

did the nice girlie ask about something that reminded you of yourselves boys?

she obviously has some sort of standards, as most girls do to be honest, and doesnt understand that blokes have no standards, will fúck anything that walks, and couldnt give a monkeys about the girls feelings, or anything else, as long as they unload, and the easier the better.
except for WickNight, who refuses to believe that a hole is a hole is a hole and any port instorm wil ldo when you are in your late teens and early tenties (and right through til your dead)

so, why is it so importnat to you guys that you know why its so importnat to her?

Stench Blossoms

hepcat wrote:

I think, from reading the OPs posts, it bothers her that he (or anyone) can have sex without violins playing in the background and sweet nothings being whispered. or "loveless" sex...but she is 19...aahh.

eh no I don't think so. Sometimes i like bein made loved to or maybe sometimes i like been bent over and called bitch but the person im with is someone that i love. I'm not sayin that you have to be in love wit the person your wit but like it means alot more if u do actually like them.

iguana wrote:

Why does this bother you so much? It is two people with a mutually satisfying arrangement. I could be off the wall - but do you secretly wish your friend was more than a friend, and can't understand why he'd choose her over you?

Em no i don't think so. It doesnt bothers me at all im just curious because i just can't see why somebody would bother havin sex with someone that didnt like. Im happy with my boyfriend so no i dont want the guy in question

Shabadu

He who is fussy, will get less pussy.

sex=good. If she ugly, lie, pretend you slip it to hot girl, then friends think you cool. YAY!

At least, that's how I presume most young men's and probably most young women's minds work. If the alleged minger isn't getting emotionally scarred or anything, then let em at it. But tell her to use a condom, ffs.