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i feel unwanted,

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    #32
    Victor
    Registered Users Posts: 78,315 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    psi wrote:
    The sensible road is to book three councelling sessions. One for you, one for him and one for both of you (no, I'm not a councellor trying to drum up work ;) ). All the contact numbers you need should be on a sticky in the forum.
    Your GP should be able to point you in the direction of local counsellors. Just say you aren't feeling great and need someone to talk things over with.


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    #33
    gandalf
    Registered Users Posts: 26,458 ✭✭✭✭gandalf


    Agreed with Victor on this one. You should not hold this in and let it eat away at yourself. You have been thru alot and you need to have an outlet for the pain. You should follow Victors advice and talk to your GP.

    Good luck and I will keep my fingers crossed for you.


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    #34
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Dear Mr WhiteWashMan,
    I really did my homework before posting this up!
    So here are the answers," I pulled an all nighter"(haven’t done that since school but you should see the sate of my notes.. sorry if parts seem like babble
    WhiteWashMan wrote:
    guilt :)
    ;)
    WhiteWashMan wrote:
    And you know, that’s not a problem. As for the silly you, well if that’s sarcasm, I don’t know. Of course you still love him. He breaks up with you; do you think you will just stop having feelings? I don’t think anyone would expect you to not care and not love.)
    Sarcasm on my part slightly, silly me more so for falling in the first place. We made it clear when we started out that it was meant to be fun.. Never serious. But then there was Paris...some day people will read of Paris :)
    I’ll always care, but I never expected love. But I did and I am happy/sad..
    WhiteWashMan wrote:
    You’re a woman. This is how woman deal with things. They talk about them. This is where men and women differ. Men only talk about something when they want an opinion or they want a suggestion on how to fix things.
    Women talk, because that’s just their way of dealing. They don’t want opinions or fixes, just to talk. Men will offer advice. Women don’t want advice. Men get frustrated because they see themselves as failures for not being able to solve women’s problems. They get defensive and a row ensues, all because men and women cant communicate, and so we go around on the big wheel of relationships :)you should be able to talk. Your partner should listen to you. Why would you ever want to be with someone who wont even listens to you? After all, its how you fix yourself. Do you need to be with someone so selfish, that they wont even listen to you, no matter what ol rubbish a person spouts?[/
    just a thought I had on this comment... should women be so selfish and demand this? something that is not of mans nature??
    WhiteWashMan wrote:
    But tell me, what do you think about going back to friends? )
    going back to being just friends:losing him as a lover is one thing,something i can handel and move on with. Sex wasn't the only reason to be with him.i fell in love with him for other things. i feel that not to be his friend would hurt more than not being his partner. I have made a point in life to have friends rather than enemys, even if self-sacrifice is needed.
    WhiteWashMan wrote:
    what about when he starts dating other women? )
    When he starts dating others I’ll stand back take a breath look at the smile on his face, know that he is happy. As a friend his happiness means more to me that what is making him happy. If he finds love. I’ll stand by and support him, and hope that he can do the same for me.
    WhiteWashMan wrote:
    how important is his friendship? And why?
    How important, very. Very important indeed. I liked him for a reason when we first met. I don't dislike him now, meaning the reason must still be there. As long as that reason is there, there's a reason for friendship. There are things in my life that I am very proud of,
    My ability to put others before me,
    My compassionate nature,
    The joy's my family and friends bring me.
    And life is self and the true beauty of it.
    These are all so very important to me.
    He has helped me see so many of these things and he is what is important. He is a true friend. He seen where I was beautiful and brought it out. I don't want to loose such a friend. Because only a friend could bring these things to the front.
    I want to learn more about him. So far my experiences with him have been intriguing and wonderful. I enjoy our talks, I enjoy our silence. I enjoy his company.
    Now for his words on this matter
    I’m also the first woman he could talk to and understand. I’m one of his best friends and the only one he can truly open up to. I accept him for who his is not what he has done.

    Back to me, we have been through so much and have come out the other side smiling and laughing. We trust each other, and he trusts hardly anyone.

    I don't want to throw away something so good just because it didn't turn out the way I wanted it!

    I live on the hope of a brighter day, who says there will be no good to come from the bad?
    WhiteWashMan wrote:
    (And don’t live in the past, I want an honest explanation about why you should remain friends at this stage)

    I don’t know if I am living on the past, am I? From what you have read what can you tell?


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    #35
    *Page*
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,811 ✭✭✭*Page*


    it sounds like you've got the right idea so far, being friends is possible.


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    #36
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    unwanted wrote:
    just a thought I had on this comment... should women be so selfish and demand this? something that is not of mans nature??

    this comment really struck me, of course you should demand this, not only demand, but expect! and if you don't get it then why would you be with someone who doesn't care enough about you to listen to what you have to say?


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    #37
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I've broken down yet again.. today would have been my due date.. for the aborted baby...


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    #38
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    This is totally normal.
    Just because you made the right decision for you at the time does not mean
    you wont think of what may have been.
    Simply put you are grieving what may have been.
    It is hard, really hard cos this subject is still so taboo and so hidden.
    Hard to explain why you are sad to those arround you on this day,
    and this date in years to come.
    Chin up, cry your tears for they are how you feel, mind yourself, do something nice for yourself today, even if it is curling up on the sofa with an old favourite movie and crying.
    If you are having trouble, do go talk to someone, both the wellwoman centre and the IFPA can put you intouch with cousellors who are able to deal with what you are going through and understand.
    www.ifpa.ie
    http://www.wellwomancentre.ie/


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