Are asexuals 'fake oppressed'? **Mod Note in Post #221**

Jack Daw

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123333612#Comment_123333612

But what do people need to be aware of?

You'd only know someone was asexual if they told you.

It's nothing to celebrate either as asexual people aren't exactly a sub group of people with similar culture traditions etc which is what the likes of St Patrick Days,Bastille Day etc celebrate

it just seems like everyone wants their little day for every single personality quirk that exists , there are at least legitimate reasons for Gay pride for example (even though it's a bit excessive these days) as Gay people were actively discriminated against, nobody cares one way or another whether someone is asexual, nobody has ever suffered at the hands of someone else because they were asexual.

NattyO

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123333670#Comment_123333670

You've obviously never had to trawl car meets for a particular idle valve for a 60's Solex.

Does having a flag and getting angry on social media help deal with a lack of sexual desire? I'm no expert, but I would have thought counselling or medical intervention would have been more effective (but obviously wouldn't generate the same amount of attention).

eightieschewbaccy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123333689#Comment_123333689

In fairness, Rowling seemed to be attempting to piss people off... And the generally getting angry thing seems to be those agreeing with her... 😂 Honestly just a sad excuse for a person at this stage.

Boggles

How bored is Harry Potters mother?

o1s1n

She really could benefit a lot by trying to embibe the 'don't be a dick' rule a little more.

Apiarist

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123333494#Comment_123333494

That is the point. The visibility is important. It says to others that the asexuality exists and that it is something that one needs to be aware of to avoid hurting people.

"no one gives a **** of they are not getting a ride" — this is not true. Plenty of people would pressure an attractive asexual person for sex, implying that the person haven't met a "right man/woman" yet, and if only they try the sex with the person who asks them, suddenly they will be cured of their asexuality.

Rowling should shut up and go FH.

Apiarist

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123333550#Comment_123333550

George, I think that your desire for the edgy discussion is misapplied here on the boards. An internet discussion is usually dichotomic and does not permit for the subtleties of meaning. I think your needs would better be served in a debate club or in some philosophy group. But it must be done in person to force you to present your ideas in a concise enough format to be accessible by all members of the discussion group.

Soc_Alt

Why does everything need to have a name ffs.

Asexual nonsense.

volchitsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123333612#Comment_123333612

Why would anyone need to increase awareness about people not wanting sex? Wouldn't it be better to file that under "consent"? Which one could argue possibly does need a proper awareness day - except that by adding more and more "awareness" days, the whole idea quickly becomes counterproductive.

But ehh, yeah - an awareness that not everybody wants sex with you would be a really really good thing for some men. I just think it would a lot better if women were allowed to make that clear to individual men without having to (pretend to) be part of some group that just has a low sex drive generally - which is also fine for those who feel like that.

But why that would need an awareness day is a puzzle to me.

volchitsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123333670#Comment_123333670

How is "No thanks" difficult to deal with?

Unless you mean the person themselves finds it difficult - in which case maybe therapy would be a more appropriate response than flag waving?

volchitsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123333616#Comment_123333616

I still don't understand what you think they don't believe? As for outrage, the only outrage I see on here is against JK Rowling.

89897

Im so confused, why would anyone be bothered by this?

volchitsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123333752#Comment_123333752

I mean, she's given so much of her money to children's charities that she actually dropped off the "richest people" lists, and she continues to pay UK tax rates out of choice when people like Bono, Michael Caine or Brian Cox all became tax exiles.

But yeah, she's a dick and they're great guys.

Grayson

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123333689#Comment_123333689

who exactly is getting angry here? Rowling took something and tried to generate outrage by claiming asexual people say they're oppressed. It's just part of her general hatred of LGBTQ+ so no surprise there.

And so now there's people here bitching about asexual people looking for attention when they're reacting to a terf bitching about asexual people. It's Rowling who's looking for attention.

This is entirely manufactured.

volchitsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123333938#Comment_123333938

Can you explain why someone with a low sex drive needs a "day of awareness" if it's not because there's supposedly some sort of prejudice against them? Or do people with a 50% sex drive need one too? 100%?

Would someone with a 250% sex drive need a "sex maniac" day of awareness?

Apiarist

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123333897#Comment_123333897

Because we, the people, are social animals. If we are gay, lesbian, asexual, or some other type, it helps our well-being knowing that we are not alone and that we are not forced into hiding. Plus, if one is open that they are asexual, they may receive less unwanted sexual advances.

These are the positives. The negative is that this annoys Rowling. Oh wait, that's another positive.

volchitsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123333944#Comment_123333944

I don't get this. I have loads of friends I've never had sex with, and I would be pretty surprised if they came onto me. When I meet new people, it's mostly not in a context where they're looking to hook up, but even then, I can always just say no and hopefully that's that.

Are you really so fabulous looking that you are constantly stalked by people who don't get those discreet signals that say "I'm not that into you"??

LastApacheInjun

I'm confused.

I see what it falls under the LGBT+ umbrella. It's a sexual preference (or sexual non preference) that is different to the "norm". So fine.

As far as I was aware, asexual people only dated other asexual people - whom they would meet online or whatever. Why would you date someone that was straight or gay, knowing that you would never want to have sex with them? Like, you should be telling any potential partner from the outset. So I'm not sure how they would find themselves in a situation where their boyfriend/girlfriend would be pressuring them to have sex because they don't understand asexuality.

I'm okay with an "awareness" day. I guess there would a few things that would be made easier by people understanding what asexuality was. Like say, if you wanted children by IVF, it would help if your GP understood that you hadn't been trying by the usual methods to get pregnant.

It does feel a little "look at me" though with the LGBT+ flag. Gay people and transpeople are genuinely oppressed, and risk their safety on a much more regular basis than everyone else. It does feel a little like piggybacking. Perhaps they should get a different symbol or something.

eightieschewbaccy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123333942#Comment_123333942

Because not being open or talking about things like this can absolutely make people feel completely alone. Eg I've a chronic illness when coming to terms with it, it was hugely beneficial to know it wasn't uncommon and there were other people dealing with it. Raising awareness also tends to result in people being more understanding of such things and simply not being a dick. I just did a quick check to confirm and my illness has a day.

The fact any of these days exist has absolutely no impact on your day to day life. But it can be meaningful to those who are impacted. It just seems a bit petty to be complaining about what amounts to a non event for your life.

o1s1n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123333937#Comment_123333937

And we call this 'whataboutism'.

People can do kind things and also be a dick about other things.

JK Rowling has done plenty of kind things in her life, she's donated huge sums to charities. I applaud her for this.

She has also been a dick about other things.

People aren't either 'good' or 'evil', it's a ridiculous way to look at the world.

MrMusician18

I don't think there any evidence to suggest asexuals are oppressed. It's never been illegal and you could argue that asexuality was forced upon homosexuals for a long time.

NattyO

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123333938#Comment_123333938

From what I can see, the "JK Rowling is the devil for having an opinion" people are the ones getting angry. Everyone else seems either bemused or confused. Your own post appears to be quite angry and aggressive. I agree that any outrage is manufactured, I think you just got the side that's manufacturing it wrong.

Iscreamkone

I’m partial to a good heterosexual ride.

Some days I’ve other priorities.

Am I a partial asexual? Or just fluid?
please let me know which days I should celebrate? Or part celebrate?

NattyO

I think these ever-expanding "awareness days" are a plot by Big Vexillology to fool us into buying more and more flags 😉

eightieschewbaccy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123333994#Comment_123333994

I think she's just a bit petty tbh. It's a bit like the Simpsons meme of an old man yelling at a cloud...

volchitsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123333976#Comment_123333976

Having a low sex drive is not an illness though. As for why it's hard to talk about, maybe that's because many people find it hard to talk about sex generally?

And I don't agree that having multiple "days of awareness" is a neutral thing. It's a good idea but needs to be used sparingly or it becomes so diluted as to be meaningless. And that's what happens when it's used for "people who don't want sex".

If that bothers them, they should get therapy.

If it doesn't bother them, then I'm delighted for them, but then they don't need a day of awareness do they?

o1s1n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123333994#Comment_123333994

On the flip side though, there also seem to be 'JK can say nothing wrong' people too.

I actually do think it's very important to have contra points of view, particularly on some of the topics she's interested in, but what she wrote in the OP is simply her being a dickhead for the sake of it.

It's fairly plain to see tbh.

volchitsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123333982#Comment_123333982

Except she hasn't. That's the point. Some people hate her and lie about her, but they can never point out what exactly she has said that is transphobic.

NIMAN

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123333944#Comment_123333944

I'm not buying this, not any more in 2025.

The world, well the western world we live in anyway, assuming no-one on here is living in Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan etc, has never been more open. You can be whatever you want to be. Identify as whatever you want. The days of being persecuted in this country for being different is gone.

You can be gay, asexual, trans, whatever you want. You aren't being persecuted any more, especially for being celebate. You need to stop looking for offence, to be special, to get special rules just for you. Get on with your life, have sex, don't have sex, drink beer, don't drink beer, eat meat, don't eat meat....get the jist?

o1s1n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123334017#Comment_123334017

This thread isn't about her being or not being transphobic, it's about her Twitter post in the OP about asexual people.

Not sure why you're trying to segway it down the transphobic road, perhaps to build a strawman?

What she said in the OP was uncalled for and does her no favours other than making her look like a petty arsehole.