Romance scams

cathodrays

I was watching a Romance scam documentary on YT by Mariana van Zeller and I was struck by how stupid some people can be to send tens of thousands to a complete stranger. I also saw a few on Dr. Phil and they all seemed like normal non-mentally ill/disabled adults.

Someone said the explanation might cultural and that's probably true as most of these cases seem to come from America. Perhaps the "naive American" stereotype holds true.

Charles Babbage

Plenty of those scams here too.

https://www.irishmirror.ie/news/irish-news/garda-issue-warning-over-online-32117145

In romance, people often do not use their full logical brain.

Deub

Don’t say they are stupid. These scammers target people that are not in the right place mentally at that particular time. It can happen to anyone.

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122348514#Comment_122348514

Yes, preying on people at a vulnerable time in their life. Mocking them makes it harder for victims to come forward, and easier for the scammers to get away with it.

cathodrays

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122348514#Comment_122348514

In my opinion, it's hard to have sympathy for someone who gives money to someone they have never met.

I can understand giving away large amounts of money to a friend/family member/acquaintance as people generally have a strong sense of trust in those they're close to, but a complete stranger seems a bit crazy.

Donald Trump

Romance itself is a scam.

Just ask Melania and her with all me money.

Atlantic Dawn

The funniest is when they have given almost everything they own to someone they have not even video chatted to as a way to verify they actually exist.

Deub

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122348680#Comment_122348680

Because you are not in their mental state so it looks too obvious to fall for it. However, for some people, the loss of a family member, depression, stress at work and someone comes in your life, saying the right things and you miss all the flags.

kowloon

People bought gamer girl bathwater. Openly a scam yet they did it anyway. I'd be more concerned with punishing scammers than turning on the victims.

BrianD3

When you're horny or desperate for "romance", you're using the primitive part of your brain and not thinking rationally. Any man who has gone more than 2 hours since his most recent w@nk is liable to make a poor decision. Women also make poor decisions e.g. many women are attracted to and date men known for violent thuggery - then the women are somehow shocked when the violent thuggery is used on them.

BaywatchHQ

Some people are blue pilled and don't want to accept the true nature of this world. This is why many people hate incel culture, they want to believe that the world is all sunshine and rainbows and that they will meet "the one". The average woman on Tinder has hundreds of matches so you shouldn't even bother playing the game if you are below 7/10 in looks.

BorneTobyWilde

I've never given a single dime to anyone woman, and never will.

Someone told me once about their experience of being in a relationship with someone online who he had never met. She wasn't from Ireland but from somewhere which believed that all Irish men were handsome fellows with a sexy brogue that turned all the women into puddles, and carried pots of gold under their arms. He explained how she would ask him to sing Danny boy over the phone which made her all a quiver to the point of ecstatic pleasure. When I asked how did he know she wasn't faking it he replied, "oh *wink, you just know". I don't know how much he paid for the privilege but clearly it wasn't enough.

That was the day I realised our existence was more than likely just a coincidence in the greater scheme of things.

Jequ0n

If you are this stupid you deserve to be ripped off.

ruth...less

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122349692#Comment_122349692

😂😂😂

ruth...less

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122349949#Comment_122349949

You're so miserable about everything lol

whitelaurel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122348514#Comment_122348514

that’s not true tbh. Plenty of people in no way would send a person they haven’t met thousands of euro. Some types of scams could happen to everyone though.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122350143#Comment_122350143

I had to tell this man I was gay because he believed he was in a relationship with me. For ten years. I did seek legal advice and spent years in therapy and counselling but most people see him as the victim, in a real baby reindeer kind of way. A harmless gorm.

ruth...less

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122350169#Comment_122350169

I don't know about that now...I just thought it was funny how he was sure she came after he sang Danny Boy down the phone lol 🤣😆🤣

So it was you? Not 'someone'? 😮😲

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122350180#Comment_122350180

No no, I would have encouraged him to go out and meet people, and to try dating sites but obviously he had prior experience with working girls. I think he genuinely believes that it's ok for women to be bought for certain purposes. I know it is a bit sad but there's a bit of a culture around it in his circles. It's hard to feel sorry for that though.

ruth...less

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122350199#Comment_122350199

Ah well as long as he's not hurting anyone.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122350211#Comment_122350211

That's most peoples feelings anyway.

ruth...less

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122350218#Comment_122350218

Try to veer him off from singing Danny Boy down the phone to get her off tho...I take that as a personal insult to Irish people 😆😂😆😆🤣

I was a bit sceptical because the only singing he ever did was on the terraces. Imagine ten bottles and the wail of ynwa at full time. Can't for the life of me imagine how his rendition of the ballad went down.

ruth...less

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122350242#Comment_122350242

It's stuck in my head now anyway 🤣😆🎶🎶

jj880

Take a look round your locality. Romance scams happening everywhere. I have friends that chose absolute weapons when they were young and stuck it out. Others were afraid of being left on the shelf and panicked. Theres 1 that babysits the kids every weekend while the partner hits the drink and nose bag Thursday thru Tuesday. Divorce is threatened roughly every 6 months but it'll never happen. If that's not a scam I don't know what is.

The operative word there is chose. I have no sympathy for people who decided that they enjoyed being with someone enough to the degree of entering into the contract of marriage, possibly having kids and then regretting it all ten years later. Hardly a scam when there's literally no obligation to get married or be in a relationship with anyone.

BrianD3

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122350264#Comment_122350264

Yes, and those scams are far more damaging and difficult to recover from than a more straightforward scam where someone asks for money and then disappears.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tg2rrMwfgB0

..

ruth...less

....🤣😆🤣

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zR_eIKvUjoU

jj880

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122350297#Comment_122350297

I would love to give it the wise old sage and say I wouldve spotted all red flags at a younger age. Im not so sure though. Easy looking back now. People are very duplicitous when theres a potential ring to go on a finger. In the example I gave above there were no blockbuster drug and booz benders before marriage. Sure the term "scam" is up for debate but I'll tell you I thank my lucky stars for my wife every day. She is an angel from heaven compared to what Ive seen up close through people Ive known since our teenage years.

I agee, sex education is all well and good but people would probably be better served in receiving an education in love at a younger age. Especially with respect to themselves.

ruth...less

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122350411#Comment_122350411

Think you have to go through it

Yep hindisight is 50/50. The least we can do is hope it will be better for our kids

edit: I was going to edit my fruedian slip but I think I'll leave it.

ruth...less

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122350448#Comment_122350448

There's an overall world hindsight thats playing and evolving in the background that makes changes over time..

ruth...less

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122350448#Comment_122350448

What fruedian slip?

Galwayguy35

People are delusional.

If someone thinks a person half their age with model looks is really interested in them even though they have never met then they need their head examined.

like..evolution :)

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122350472#Comment_122350472

Hindsight is 20/20 ;)

Montage of Feck

Rand McNally

ruth...less

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122350476#Comment_122350476

Ah I see 😊

.....sent from my iPhone

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058358593/romance-scams

…fcuking hell, how many generalities and racial slurs have we here!

…its very easy for europeans, even some irish to get caught up in such scams, ive seen it happen…

….never ever underestimate the power of loneliness!

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122350398#Comment_122350398

Exact same here.

I thank my lucky stars every day for your wife too.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122350148#Comment_122350148

not miserable at all

JP Liz V1

It keeps happening despite other cautionary tells from previous victims and TV shows on similar matter e.g. Catfish

Has any of these scammers been found and prosecuted?

They do say "Love is Blind"

Beechwoodspark

I saw a news report on this before and there are literally call centres full of staff in places like Bangladesh or various African countries.

The people who work in these places job is to do the “Mr Lover Boy” scams on unwitting western women (although sometimes gay men are victims).

It’s a full blown industry in some of these countries.

ruth...less

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122350844#Comment_122350844

Sure Jeq

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122350909#Comment_122350909

According to the doc in the op it's primarily men who are targetted (timestamped)

https://youtu.be/5XfCVk2gZCY?si=Kg3C9ll8pSvaI7we&t=1707

"not only do they have more money, they're much easier to fool"

jj880

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122350433#Comment_122350433

Yeah I agree with this. It takes someone treating you badly to burn it into your mind. It seems some learn from it and others are gluttons for punishment.

ruth...less

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122351441#Comment_122351441

Or learned behaviours, coping mechanisms

28064212

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122348841#Comment_122348841

Technically not a scam - she advertised exactly what was being sent, and they got exactly what they wanted. There was nothing remotely deceptive about it.

Stupid, yes. Scam, no.