What drives online bullying?

BaywatchHQ

Many liberals are online bullies. I remember seeing a Canadian soy boy contact a man's employer to try get him fired because he used the quote "All lives matter".

Also there is a sub on Reddit called IncelTear devoted to making fun of incel men.

RoboRat

Meh, I've no time for (anti)social media anymore. Keyboard warriors who would crap the bed of they ever faced those who they so happily abuse. They live their sad and petty life fishing for likes and attention. The irony is that one day, they'll confuse online with real life, and it will be a lesson they won't forget.

tohaltuwi

Didn’t get back to “my own” thread as I was travelling there, and away from WiFi or even a phone signal a bit. I have a dry, gallows sort of humour, I get when people are using humour, but I understand not everyone has a grasp on that kind of humour and it can land me trouble. What I can never tolerate is evidently orchestrated personal bullying. Being in certain professions which influence others’ overall life outcomes, eg politics, one has got to take cynical portrayals, but not, in a democracy, with threats implied or otherwise of harm/violence.

I would not be one to approve of hate speech law per se, though; if a person’s life or well-being, or that of their family or associates are threatened, there’s law enforcement to cover that. Really for another thread, but it does fall into an extreme level of bullying.

Most bullying is more insidious. The more extreme bullies can be given “labels”. The specific occasions where I have been bullied have pretty much all been motivated by envy in its more insidious forms. I may sometimes come across as confident & self-asserting, it’s not always my innermost feeling, and I battle quite a few barriers. My efforts to put a positive face on some very dark times have in a minority of cases brought out the classic Begrudger in a few people online, those that would probably share nothing of my lived experience -or maybe they do 🤔 I’d be really interested to know.

One thing that is certain, some people who have been bullied or abused become bullies themselves. Be it by parents, teachers, people charged with their care, peers.

tohaltuwi

There is such a learning curve. Name it, it exists.

most “incels” have a personality disorder as far as I can see. People of all appearances get partners, just some people give off horrendous vibes.

Strumms

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122137379#Comment_122137379

it’s absolutely fine. You think otherwise, ok no problem we have a different view.

I’m critical of her, her attitude, slagging people & her self entitled sulkathon. Which I’m entirely entitled to be.

highpitcheric

Never become a target of any sort of group/crowd/mob. The worst cowardly bags of sht in this life hide in the annonymity and chaos of little gangs, and attack and smear from the safety of numbers.

anewme

People who feel entitled to personally abuse someone by calling them nasty names for whatever reason they don’t like them are a big driver of online bullying.

SharkMX

Anywhere a like minded mob can build up unimpeded they will always start to bully those who they consider their targets. Online there is nothing to stop this mob. You see it everywhere on line.

Young people bullying old people.

Different genders bullying other genders.

Cyclists bullying motorists and vice versa.

Eco warriors bullying normal people living their lives.

Political supporters bullying others.

Private sector and public sector.

Its everywhere. Mob gets together and reinforces their own narrow views and then squeezes out any iota of sense that might ever come over them if they werent egged on by each other.

Mrs OBumble

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122139749#Comment_122139749

You need to read the definition of "bullying" again, especially the bits about repeated, and power difference.

anewme

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122140078#Comment_122140078

The power difference is the group mindset. And in the case of Bambi, these comments like freak show, dose etc are because someone is different and viewed as not an equal and ok to pile on.

The same thing as not using a persons pronoun. A lack of respect.

Quantum Erasure

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122140078#Comment_122140078

I don't get this power difference bit. The bully assumes power as soon as he starts bullying

tohaltuwi

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122140094#Comment_122140094

I’ve been called an “attention seeker” by a very small cohort of unpleasant people who don’t know the first thing about me other than they don’t like my usually innocuous online persona. Bambie is an artist with an unusual style of art, I think anyone who stands out in any shape or form is fodder for the bully, although I don’t think it is always done with a bucket full of malice.

anewme

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122139625#Comment_122139625

It's not fine - critical, yes, abusive no.

Essential to this discussion is respect for others and how they are viewed. You have been told above by another poster that Bambi uses them/their as their pronoun.

Why do you still use "her?" Would you view at all that this comes across as disrespectful?

This is back to what we are talking about here about what drives online bullying - "I'm entitled to say what I want and no one can stop me". These type of comments cause absolute carnage online when there is really no need for it.

eightieschewbaccy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122140078#Comment_122140078

It doesn't really take a huge amount for such behavior to move into the territory of bullying. I've seen a group of posters fixate on a particular user and just personally attack them whenever they post in a thread, it would very much so be a form of bullying.

Mrs OBumble

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122140263#Comment_122140263

The definition of bullying requires a power imbalance as well as an intent to harm, and repeated behaviour.

If any of these is missing, thd bahaviour may be rude, mean, etc - but it's not bullying.

Anaki r2d2

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122139853#Comment_122139853

but if the 6 groups/themes were stopped on boards, there would be no posting at all!

The 20k+ posters are the cyclists, greens, SF , gender warriors. Boards needs these posters to stay alive

Strumms

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122140960#Comment_122140960

because I’m not a person who engages with being bullied into learning and remembering who has what pronouns. I’ve enough to be worrying about, remembering and thinking about in life. 😉

Quantum Erasure

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122141624#Comment_122141624

Kinda reminds me of the 'Black people can't be racist' line...

SharkMX

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122141679#Comment_122141679

So does twitter

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122140960#Comment_122140960

You used 'her' yourself in this post!

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122137379#Comment_122137379

anewme

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122142600#Comment_122142600

I’m repeating the other posters view not mine and forgot the inverted commas. I don’t use inverted commas usually so you’ll have to excuse me.

Point still stands.

I didn’t call “her a dose” either, just in case it came across that way.

Musicrules

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122142675#Comment_122142675

Own your error.

anewme

l

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122142747#Comment_122142747

i explained my comment fairly.

im sure people understand.

Mrs OBumble

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122142041#Comment_122142041

I didn't write the definition.

But behaving badly doesn't give someone power. And power does amplify bad behaviour which is sometimes bullying.

Calling all rude behaviour bullying diminishes the seriousness and impact of actual bullying.

Musicrules

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122142772#Comment_122142772

Everyone makes mistakes, don't worry. People will understand.

anewme

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122142856#Comment_122142856

no worries!

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122142675#Comment_122142675

I didn't think you were calling her a dose, but this doesn't read like you were quoting another poster, it looks like you were just arguing their point:

You just dont like Bambie - that's fine. What is not fine is to call her a dose. That's not being critical of the music or lack of (if that's the way you feel), that's being personal and the type of comments not needed but people feel ok to fire off with no consequence.

It's ok to make a mistake, but not everyone worries about pronouns or even thinks about it.

Quantum Erasure

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122142798#Comment_122142798

The power imbalance comes from the bullying behaviour though, like there's no imbalance between regular posters on here, and I'm sure I've seen mods bullied off boards where the power imbalance should in theory go the other way

Samsgirl

Cowards are usually the biggest bullies.

There was an elderly lady bullied off this site completely by a few posters. Elderly, living alone in a remote place. Boards was her communication with the outside world.

It changed my opinion on Boards completely and I rarely post now.

Anaki r2d2

Imagine if all the effort spent worrying and arguing over pronouns was instead spent picking up litter in the streets. How lovely a place it would be. Be good to get off the keyboard and say hello to people with a common goal