What drives online bullying?

tohaltuwi

I’m talking about adults using social media, rather than immature young people cutting their newly fledged fangs. What drives a small proportion of individual adults pick out an individual who has done them absolutely no harm whatsoever and who has been generally decent online?

Strumms

same as any bullying. It thrives when others, especially those in positions of authority / responsibility, turn a blind eye or are doing the bullying too themselves.

Either way, they are completely complicit.

tohaltuwi

I don’t get why anybody would initiate it for seemingly no particular gain; eg when there’s no personal “revenge” at stake, just selecting somebody who to them has been a harmless individual, but they have decided to dislike and express that dislike in a damaging way.

Mrs OBumble

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058351156/what-drives-online-bullying

The same thing that drives other forms of anti-social behaviour: rudeness, immaturity, insecurity and opportunity.

tohaltuwi

I know on Twitter/X people take very polarised sides of an argument, especially since Musk took it over, and can be extremely rude and obnoxious with it. It’s more than obvious that it’s not much of a place for reasoned debate. Musk wants it that way, to provide a platform for people with personality issues like himself.

I’m on Reddit but I haven’t gone near any political type threads, and find it largely fine for the kind of threads I sometimes participate on. Haven’t encountered any bullies thereabouts, although I understand they exist on certain forums.

I can understand when somebody reacts somewhat in kind to unwarranted nastiness already received, but to take it upon oneself just to express how one despises somebody else for no good or personal reason at all, is something outside of my understanding. All I can think is it must be down to some class of particularly negative personality disorder at play.

It can leave one questioning “have I done something to upset such an individual at some stage?” and the answer to these inexplicable cases is a resounding no. Not unless you might have inadvertently stepped into what they thought was their particular niche space 🤔

Pauliedragon

Some adults aren't as grown up as we think they are. We see a physically grown up human and assume they are mature. Online bullying is a form of entertainment for them.

z80CPU

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122122659#Comment_122122659

more and more the opportunity for online bullying.

Bully wants to look slick to their peers. They could be commanded to do it as a rite of passage or to advance their level within the gang hierarchy and more 'street cred

A few years ago the same gang could have been active on YouTube pressing the dislike button on a user's videos YouTube hid the dislike count

z80CPU

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122124221#Comment_122124221

Not confined to the 20 somethings or just dirty old men in raincoats. From all professions, some you'd never suspect.

Pauliedragon

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122124803#Comment_122124803

Dead right. I was trying to track down an interview with a "professional troll" as he called himself from a few years ago but I couldn't find it. Basically he was a 30 something guy with a family working in insurance or some industry like that who spent his evenings in his home office literally trolling. He'd find familles with sick kids or teenagers struggling with bullying issues and just go to town on them with really sick stuff. When asked why? he said it was his "hobby" to relax. His pals went to the pub after work so he went home had dinner with family then locked himself away daily in his home office. It was his relaxing time he said. Some real sickos out there.

Alexus25

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058351156/what-drives-online-bullying

Anonymity

ruth...less

Anonymity, lack of self awareness, not seeing people online as real, people online going into themselves..self absorbed, online peer pressure, desire for 'likes', stupidity, ignorance, lack of self esteem, just being a **** etc.

anewme

Interesting discussion.

Current example. reading the online "hate" directed towards BambieThug, you'd have to consider that Ireland is Craggy Island. The amount of people who seem seriously offended and the amount of abuse directed towards a person viewed as "non conforming" is quite frankly, weird. When there are murders, rapes, and genocide in the world, you seem to have a huge issue with Eurovision. OK.

What is also strange, these people slag off others, without clearly looking in the mirror themselves.

Musicrules

It's probably worse online than in real life as some are brave behind their computers. Bullying, trying to drag others down, enjoying the misery of others are all things you see. Just look at this forum for a clear example. Attempts at bullying is common place. A few moderators are clear bullies even. I think for online bullying, the narrative about bullies having something lacking in their lives is true. Sad individuals.

-----------------------------------------

Warned for Breach of charter. If you have a problem with any post or poster please report it to bring it to the attention of the moderators. Digs at volunteer moderators are not welcome here.

anewme

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122131030#Comment_122131030

What I've seen here recently reflects the other way round to be honest.

A group speaking as "we" not being happy until someone is driven away.

I suppose a lot depends on which way you are looking in.

Musicrules

I'm not sure what you mean?

anewme

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122131137#Comment_122131137

It's not directed at you in any way, shape at all, apologies if you think it is!

I'm saying everyone's perception is different and my take on it, even from here, is very different than yours. That's not to say either of us are right or wrong, it's our perception.

nachouser

….

nachouser

….

Strumms

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122130983#Comment_122130983

Is the Bambie person being bullied though ?

People might just not like her. I don’t like her, I think she’s a dose. She has gone someway to prove me right by post Eurovision just slating the fûck out of the organisers, other performers etc.

You can dislike an artist, musician or songwriter be critical of them….. doesn’t make it bullying.

Bullying : The repetitive, intentional hurting of one person or group by another person or group, where the relationship involves an imbalance of power. Bullying can be physical, verbal or psychological. It can happen face-to-face or online. That’s according to the Anti-Bullying Alliance.

Being hyper critical in one’s assessment of a performer is in no way bullying. What next, music publications who review records, performances etc to be cancelled ?

People have to expect that in a free and fair society people should be of the ability to express an opinion, if an opinion contains criticism, so be it, of a person, group of people so be it.

anewme

not liking someone or their music not being to your taste is one thing, but trolling and personal abuse and pile on is quite another.

Another example is the hate directed at Stephen Rice’s partner.

Agree it’s way worse online than in person. People feel they are not talking directly to someone but at them. Easy to dish out abuse and then get back to your gardening or whatever with no consequences.

The online bullying group think has also led to the rise of groups showing up at politicians homes for example.

Musicrules

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122131159#Comment_122131159

I'm just not sure what you are talking about. You haven't explained your perception so I don't know if it's different than mine.

Grayson

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122131388#Comment_122131388

Well you misgendered them. Was that deliberate or accidental? They use they/them pronouns in case you didn't know.

lumphammer2

It is very clear that three main things drive it …..

1 …. the internet is too free …. people can say anything they like and get away with it ….

2 …. very poor example shown by celebs and world leaders ….. Donald Trump's carry on in particular has normalised online bullying ….

3 …. people with nothing better in their lives …..

Strumms

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122132491#Comment_122132491

I wasn’t aware of their pronouns, nor even aware of what shampoo they use 😉

PP Lee

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeC5gPcH/

Here’s an example of online bullying on TikTok. The guy clearly has issues and doesn’t deserve to be mocked online like this. Some of the comments are vile. There’s still plenty of awful people out there.

89897

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122131388#Comment_122131388

The problem is though that alot of whats been said of Bambie has nothing to do their performance or song. Theres been lots of absolute nastiness based purely on their apperance, gender identity and expression. Nothing on the song.

Personally I thought the performance and stageing was stunning and so well put together, the song is not my taste (though I do find myself humming it alot.. lol) but thats not gonna make me call them a freak show or some of the other terms I've seen here.

anewme

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122131388#Comment_122131388

Just to follow up on that.

You just dont like Bambie - that's fine. What is not fine is to call her a dose. That's not being critical of the music or lack of (if that's the way you feel), that's being personal and the type of comments not needed but people feel ok to fire off with no consequence.

AndrewJRenko

We had a post on a local politics thread here over the weekend with a poster of a young male candidate and "needs his hard drive checked" ( a dog whistle for child sexual Abuse) . The post was deleted eventually.

Utterly obnoxious posting.

anewme

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122137631#Comment_122137631

Sure remember the case that the TD/Councillor took against Facebook to make them reveal the identity of malicious rumours put out about him.

Turned out the fella behind the allegations had no connection at all to the TD and never knew him.

Calahonda52

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122125011#Comment_122125011

any lack of accountability or consequences.

BaywatchHQ

Many liberals are online bullies. I remember seeing a Canadian soy boy contact a man's employer to try get him fired because he used the quote "All lives matter".

Also there is a sub on Reddit called IncelTear devoted to making fun of incel men.

RoboRat

Meh, I've no time for (anti)social media anymore. Keyboard warriors who would crap the bed of they ever faced those who they so happily abuse. They live their sad and petty life fishing for likes and attention. The irony is that one day, they'll confuse online with real life, and it will be a lesson they won't forget.

tohaltuwi

Didn’t get back to “my own” thread as I was travelling there, and away from WiFi or even a phone signal a bit. I have a dry, gallows sort of humour, I get when people are using humour, but I understand not everyone has a grasp on that kind of humour and it can land me trouble. What I can never tolerate is evidently orchestrated personal bullying. Being in certain professions which influence others’ overall life outcomes, eg politics, one has got to take cynical portrayals, but not, in a democracy, with threats implied or otherwise of harm/violence.

I would not be one to approve of hate speech law per se, though; if a person’s life or well-being, or that of their family or associates are threatened, there’s law enforcement to cover that. Really for another thread, but it does fall into an extreme level of bullying.

Most bullying is more insidious. The more extreme bullies can be given “labels”. The specific occasions where I have been bullied have pretty much all been motivated by envy in its more insidious forms. I may sometimes come across as confident & self-asserting, it’s not always my innermost feeling, and I battle quite a few barriers. My efforts to put a positive face on some very dark times have in a minority of cases brought out the classic Begrudger in a few people online, those that would probably share nothing of my lived experience -or maybe they do 🤔 I’d be really interested to know.

One thing that is certain, some people who have been bullied or abused become bullies themselves. Be it by parents, teachers, people charged with their care, peers.

tohaltuwi

There is such a learning curve. Name it, it exists.

most “incels” have a personality disorder as far as I can see. People of all appearances get partners, just some people give off horrendous vibes.

Strumms

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122137379#Comment_122137379

it’s absolutely fine. You think otherwise, ok no problem we have a different view.

I’m critical of her, her attitude, slagging people & her self entitled sulkathon. Which I’m entirely entitled to be.

highpitcheric

Never become a target of any sort of group/crowd/mob. The worst cowardly bags of sht in this life hide in the annonymity and chaos of little gangs, and attack and smear from the safety of numbers.

anewme

People who feel entitled to personally abuse someone by calling them nasty names for whatever reason they don’t like them are a big driver of online bullying.

SharkMX

Anywhere a like minded mob can build up unimpeded they will always start to bully those who they consider their targets. Online there is nothing to stop this mob. You see it everywhere on line.

Young people bullying old people.

Different genders bullying other genders.

Cyclists bullying motorists and vice versa.

Eco warriors bullying normal people living their lives.

Political supporters bullying others.

Private sector and public sector.

Its everywhere. Mob gets together and reinforces their own narrow views and then squeezes out any iota of sense that might ever come over them if they werent egged on by each other.

Mrs OBumble

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122139749#Comment_122139749

You need to read the definition of "bullying" again, especially the bits about repeated, and power difference.

anewme

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122140078#Comment_122140078

The power difference is the group mindset. And in the case of Bambi, these comments like freak show, dose etc are because someone is different and viewed as not an equal and ok to pile on.

The same thing as not using a persons pronoun. A lack of respect.

Quantum Erasure

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122140078#Comment_122140078

I don't get this power difference bit. The bully assumes power as soon as he starts bullying

tohaltuwi

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122140094#Comment_122140094

I’ve been called an “attention seeker” by a very small cohort of unpleasant people who don’t know the first thing about me other than they don’t like my usually innocuous online persona. Bambie is an artist with an unusual style of art, I think anyone who stands out in any shape or form is fodder for the bully, although I don’t think it is always done with a bucket full of malice.

anewme

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122139625#Comment_122139625

It's not fine - critical, yes, abusive no.

Essential to this discussion is respect for others and how they are viewed. You have been told above by another poster that Bambi uses them/their as their pronoun.

Why do you still use "her?" Would you view at all that this comes across as disrespectful?

This is back to what we are talking about here about what drives online bullying - "I'm entitled to say what I want and no one can stop me". These type of comments cause absolute carnage online when there is really no need for it.

eightieschewbaccy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122140078#Comment_122140078

It doesn't really take a huge amount for such behavior to move into the territory of bullying. I've seen a group of posters fixate on a particular user and just personally attack them whenever they post in a thread, it would very much so be a form of bullying.

Mrs OBumble

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122140263#Comment_122140263

The definition of bullying requires a power imbalance as well as an intent to harm, and repeated behaviour.

If any of these is missing, thd bahaviour may be rude, mean, etc - but it's not bullying.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122139853#Comment_122139853

but if the 6 groups/themes were stopped on boards, there would be no posting at all!

The 20k+ posters are the cyclists, greens, SF , gender warriors. Boards needs these posters to stay alive

Strumms

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122140960#Comment_122140960

because I’m not a person who engages with being bullied into learning and remembering who has what pronouns. I’ve enough to be worrying about, remembering and thinking about in life. 😉

Quantum Erasure

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122141624#Comment_122141624

Kinda reminds me of the 'Black people can't be racist' line...

SharkMX

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122141679#Comment_122141679

So does twitter

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122140960#Comment_122140960

You used 'her' yourself in this post!

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122137379#Comment_122137379

anewme

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122142600#Comment_122142600

I’m repeating the other posters view not mine and forgot the inverted commas. I don’t use inverted commas usually so you’ll have to excuse me.

Point still stands.

I didn’t call “her a dose” either, just in case it came across that way.