Why are some people not growing up?

Rocket_GD

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049360#Comment_122049360

I've worked consistently since the age of 14 (local shop), I'm now 31 and I still love football, enjoy some animation films and shows (not one's like Peppa Pig that are 100% designed for children) but the likes of Into The Spiderverse etc. This one will really annoy the OP but I still love watching WWE. What has any of that got to do with me not "growing up"?

I've rented for nearly a decade, obtained a degree as a mature student, live with my partner now, in the process of mortgage approval, can run a household and have plenty of responsibility. Does me liking WWE or some animation mean that I'm not a grown up?

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049496#Comment_122049496

Why not do your own research? What has Ukraine to do with the thread topic?

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122048775#Comment_122048775

Is it that people grow up more slowly, or that people in the "olden days" stopped growing earlier in life?

Back in the day, the average person's lifestyle and routine was probably fixed from 25 (or earlier) until they died.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049514#Comment_122049514

It kind of does, I think the younger generation are a bit soft, and wonder how they would react to life getting harder, like a war. that is why I mentioned Ukraine.

Rocket_GD

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049496#Comment_122049496

How have you managed to bring a Russian invasion into Ukraine into your own thread about Adults enjoying things that you think should only be for children? 🤦‍♂️

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049532#Comment_122049532

How are they soft? That sounds like a lazy generalisation to me and nothing more.

magicbastarder

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122048725#Comment_122048725

That's a very adolescent thing to say.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049545#Comment_122049545

In general I think they are, a someone said our parents were out doing adult jobs at 14, a 14 year old these days would be doing well to be able to make themselves a sandwich.

There are lots of people aged around 22 these days that never even had a summer job.

eggy81

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049532#Comment_122049532

I’d say a lot of them would choke us auld lads out on the floor no problem. They’re fitter, stronger and more into looking after themselves on average than us in our 40s were once junior c football became too hard.

witchgirl26

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122048709#Comment_122048709

So just because you don't enjoy them, means others shouldn't watch them?

I don't enjoy football but doesn't mean I think people shouldn't watch it.

Look growing up & being an adult is hard! There is nothing wrong with enjoying some of the more simple things in life. I colour as a hobby. Not fancy, intricate stuff but basic pictures that are quick & easy & yes, probably childish. But it makes dealing with some of the not so great stresses in life a little easier. And simple cartoons too - yet to meet someone who doesn't like Bluey after watching it.

There's also a thing where people essentially do age regression because they are dealing with a trauma in life so some interests regress to a safer time for them - for most when they were a child. Or that due to trauma as a child, they missed some essential parts of childhood & are now, as adults with means, reliving those missed areas.

At the end of the day, if it isn't hurting anyone, what's the problem?

taxAHcruel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049459#Comment_122049459

Actually playing with "toy soldiers" in your 40s is far from unheard of. Have a quick google of "Warhammer" the game for example - or next time you are in Dublin have a browse around Forbidden Planet or the shop which is also called "Warhammer" on Lower Liffey Street. And I myself recently had a wonderful time building a rather complex model warship and painting it. Very Zen and Mindful and stimulating and challenging.

Again I think where you are falling over yourself - and the user who was bothered by Adult Coloring Books on another thread - is the assumption of as you just put it above "Designed for Children". They aren't. They are things designed for adults that parallel in many ways things designed for children.

Kids play Soccer. So do adults. The adults are not playing a game "designed for children". They are playing an adult game for adults that is the equivalent of the children's game for children. There are coloring books designed for children. There are also coloring books designed for adults. The latter is not magically a "childish activity" solely because the former do it too.

And many things are designed to be enjoyed by both but in different ways. Again if you go watch Toy Story 3 or - random example - cartoons like Johnny Bravo - you very quickly see that the product is nuanced and aspects of it are targeted at children and other aspects targeted at adults. Anyone who watched either of these things and comes away thinking it was just made for children - has deeply fooled themselves. When Johnny Bravo makes a sexual innuendo joke about blindfolds - it is quite the stretch to assume this was targeted at pre teen children.

The computer game industry too is massive if you look at the turnovers and figures. And it is far from children only pushing those values.

At the end of the day I think you appear to be operating under a different notion of what "Growing up" means or requires. I can't be sure of course because you have not defined what you think "Growing up" entails or requires. But judging solely on what you have written in the thread so far - you appear to have very different notions of it than I would have.

But as another user pointed out - if growing up entails for example sitting for hours on end watching Reality Dating shows or Soap operas - you can keep it. I think I would personally find more depth, nuance, art, character philosophy, maturity and stimulation in an Anime cartoon like "My Neighbour Totoro" or "The Boy and Heron" than I imagine you will ever find in "First Dates Ireland" or Eastenders or "Operation Transformation".

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049564#Comment_122049564

So, nothing but lazy generalisations.

I've seen way too many old racists whine and moan when they see someone from a different background to believe the myth that young people are soft.

Rocket_GD

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049564#Comment_122049564

Surely it's a good thing that 14 year old children are not being made go out and get full time adult jobs and they get to enjoy their childhood.

I'd be encouraging my children to look for a Summer job at 16 or 17 so they can have some of their own money and some financial independence but not at 14, let them enjoy their Summer's off. This is coming from someone who had an after school job from 14.

Our parents were heroic in what they achieved but stunted individuals.

magicbastarder

are there enough casual jobs for 15 year olds to work at during the summer? what happens during the summer when all those 50k or 60k students go looking for work?

freshpopcorn

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049564#Comment_122049564

I know members of the older generation and the fella's can't do washing or cook a simple meal and the women can't do a simple bit of DIY/painting.

If we're going to go down that line.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049657#Comment_122049657

stunted how?

what about the generation now, a lot of them are afraid to talk on the phone, or look someone in the eyes while talking to them.

This thread kinda of reminds me of asking my younger by-a-decade sister-in-law about my nephew, general oldies chit-chat after the bit about how his job was working out, I asked if he had a girlfriend, she replied the dating scene is so different nowadays you wouldn't understand it.

taxAHcruel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049163#Comment_122049163

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049564#Comment_122049564

And I have met some 40 year olds who can barely change a light bulb or a fuse. There are people who are absolutely lost when it comes to changing a tyre on their car. I have stopped on the road quite a few times to help people do this. And contrary to stereotypes it was not predominantly women.

As kowloon says though - a motivation we often work under is to make things "easier" for our children in many ways than it was for us. As GaryDunne says above it's a better world if our kids can enjoy their childhood longer before they need to be made go out and earn a wage.

But where I would drift a little away from Kowloon's post above is to suggest - even a little - that the opposite of "easier" is "suffering" and "misery". I think there are many aspects of life we can and absolutely should make easier for our children. But some hardship, adversity, and pursuits that are difficult for no other reason than they are difficult, are not to be sneezed at. These things are not suffering and misery just because they are not easy.

Losing is not easy for example. But it is not suffering and misery either. Yet for whatever reasons I personally have yet to fathom - my kids (10m, 13f) keep having "participation medals" pushed on them every time they compete and do not win. They refuse them for a few reasons - mostly their own reasons and not because of me. And actually when they told me their reasons they were reasonably astute and thought out. I was quite impressed for their age at some of the reasoning and was even surprised at one of the reasons.

But on more than one occasion they got berated or trouble for refusing them. And by "refusing" I do not mean making a scene or a big point of refusing. They simply did not bother to go collect them or take them when offered. And when I got into discussions with the organizers I was told the medals were because they did not want any kids who lost to go away empty handed because it might make them sad. Oh the horror. Sadness. Oh the humanity.

This is not the kind of "easier" I think we need much focus on myself. YMMV :)

But to pgj's point above I guess it entirely depends on the 14 year olds in question. Maybe some 14 year olds can not make a sandwich. I have not met them. My daughter has made a mean ham cheese chilli toastie since she was 6 :) But if such 14 year old's exist I wonder if it is because the parents have this other idea of "easier" that I myself do not share.

My own daugther at 13 - having recently acquired a bully at school who is focusing on her a bit in an attempt to make her miserable (which is amusing to her for a few reasons) - and having noticed the bully reminded her of a bully in a book we read a couple of years ago - has started a project with some of her friends. They are taking piles of old discarded bikes. Striping them down into parts which they are individually cleaning and oiling and restoring - and then building entirely new bikes out of the workable and salvageable part. These bikes they will donate to children in need. But the best of the bikes she plans to give to her bully.

Yet I have a cousin in his 40s who comes to me to change his flat bike tyre when he gets one because he has not the first notion of how to do it. These 13 year old girls could school him on a few things I reckon.

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049739#Comment_122049739

I stopped caring about the dating thing a long time ago. Apps are just soul-sucking abominations IME. I'd quite happily be single for the rest of my days.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049747#Comment_122049747

Will she sabotage the bullies bike?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049678#Comment_122049678

A lot of them choose not to use the phone, which is fine.

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049678#Comment_122049678

The worst people I know for their phones are older people. Like, no consideration or self-awareness at all.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049808#Comment_122049808

Not really, when it is part of their job to talk on the phone.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049816#Comment_122049816

Then they will use it.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049826#Comment_122049826

I think a lot of them cant do it, they do something where they have all calls sent to their voicemail.

Tony EH

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122048697#Comment_122048697

Yep, this is pretty much it.

Adulthood is being "postponed" for a lot of people and they're making do.

eightieschewbaccy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049459#Comment_122049459

I'm nearly 33, single and a home owner. I still read comics but in general I tend to read pretty broadly. I do sometimes watch animated movies such as Studio Ghibli and Spiderverse. Both are critically acclaimed cinematically speaking and Ghibli is as artistic as any Fellini or Scorcese movie.

None of the above makes me "soft" or immature. Also I'd say ignorance plays a part if you're getting upset about what movies people are seeing in the cinema. 😂

The only thing I find a bit annoying about youngish people is that they seem incapable of talking to anyone but their friends or immediate family. I put this down to the parochial nature of Irish society more than anything else. The famed grageriousness of the Irish is a bit of a myth and the reality is that most are very insular looking.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122049836#Comment_122049836

Once again I am not upset about what they watch.