Why are some people not growing up?

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o1s1n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122051732#Comment_122051732

Sounds like you want to be the very best,
Like no one ever was.
To catch them is your real test,
To train us is your cause.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122048739#Comment_122048739

A lot of older people are also living at home with their parents — not because they can't afford a home but because they want to be continually pampered by Mammy and Daddy.

And it's true with the OP says, that some people simply don't want to grow up, act like an adult and take responsibility for their personal and professional lives. It's far easier to live in the blissful innocence of the past — effectively as an adult kid — where, conveniently, most of their hobbies can be sourced.

I actually think it's something to be looked down upon, not something we should consider an "alternative". And I say that because it's far better for society and for themselves for these people to grow the hell up.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122051839#Comment_122051839

let me know how that goes with the best bike and bully. 🤦‍♂️

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AndyBoBandy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122051960#Comment_122051960

And it's true with the OP says, that some people simply don't want to grow up, act like an adult and take responsibility for their personal and professional lives.

But surely then it’s also true that someone can grow up, act like an adult and take responsibility for their personal & professional life, and still like video games or animated movies/cartoons? And in the process completely contradicting the basis of the OP.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122051974#Comment_122051974

Absolutely.

There's a distinction to be made between the two.

But the cohort of people I'm referring to aren't the mature, professional types who have made their way in the world. For example, I'm into some computer games too.

So this isn't an argument against computer games or some hobbies.

What it's about is saying that there exists a certain cohort in society, man-children, who do not want to grow up and who also happen to have these hobbies / interests. They can be easily identified, we all know who they are and what they tend to look like / behave as. They're mollycoddled, to use an old fashioned phrase.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122051970#Comment_122051970

He is a bit of a bully himself.

taxAHcruel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122051961#Comment_122051961

Will do. There are so many parallels between this guy and a character in a book we read that we definitely want to try it before we intercede in the bullying any other way. If for nothing else than as a tribute to this short collection of books we loved. And in the book a restored bike was also given as a gift to a bully. So it's kind of a tribute to the book rather than the bully that my daughter is enjoying. Quite mature for 13 I thought which should appeal to the "people growing up" nature of your thread.

In fact those books are also in the category of "For children" but I would gladly and openly recommend any adult read them. Mature concepts and topics are very often infused into the package of things that are "for children" at the superficial level. Hence why I keep mentioning things like Toy Story 3.

The bully himself is a year older than her and significantly bigger. He has not gotten physical yet specifically. More of a sticking himself physically into her general space in a way he clearly thinks is intimidating or annoying. Otherwise he is just a verbal bully.

Should he get physical at any point he is in for a rather fast and rather nasty shock though. So mostly we find his existence and attempts to target what he thinks is the smallest kid around as highly amusing. He clearly has no idea that at 13 she has a decade of combat and martial arts training and gold medals behind her.

We dealt with a bully my son (now 10) acquired in an amusing way too. I went over to the bully's dad and offered a handful of entirely free introductory jujitsu lessons to his son just to try it out and see if he enjoys it. When said son arrived at my school I paired him with my son for training and sparring. Where he very quickly learned what my son was capable of. With the effect he entirely ceased his attempts to bully my son or in fact to bully any kid if there was even the smallest chance my son was within ear or eye shot :)

o1s1n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122051985#Comment_122051985

A good war would sort them out.

Seriously who are these mollycoddled man children and what weird circles are you running in? I can't say I've met any of them.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122051992#Comment_122051992

Unfortunately I have encountered quite a few over the past decade.

The problem is that this issue of not growing up is only going to get worse. That's why Jonathan Heidt wrote the book, The Coddling of the American Mind; namely — that children are not being equipped with the skills and resilience needed to cope in adulthood, and so they behave as children in adulthood itself.

So yes, this has been a relatively minor problem for the previous generation. But the generation to come is going to have a lot more adults who have failed to sufficiently grow up and take responsibility for themselves.

pjohnson

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122051992#Comment_122051992

Going by the simultaeous "men who eat like boys" thread I think it has something to do with Chicken Nuggets.

Its unconfirmed what eating chicken nuggets while watching first dates means.

ancapailldorcha

So, "growing up" equates to becoming some sort of perpetually enraged gammony type projecting their nonsense onto the next generation. I think I'll pass.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122051960#Comment_122051960

What this really shows is you have a very fixed view of the world and you love to judge others when they fail to meet your preconceptions.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122052010#Comment_122052010

Everyone judges everyone, whether we like to admit it or not.

For example, your post has just judged and come to a fixed conclusion about my alleged view of the world.

Sometimes judging other people is a very good thing to do. Any responsible parent would want to ensure their child grows up and takes responsibility for themselves, not hiding in their basement at 29-years old, afraid of the world and maturity.

It's a sad existence, and too many parents overprotect their children to make themselves feel better rather than due to the interests of their son or daughter.

Rocket_GD

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122051062#Comment_122051062

Another completely unfounded generalisation. I have teenage cousins who love First Dates, UK and Irish versions.

By your logic all shows on Terestial TV are made purely for adults.

The point stands, you yourself enjoy a very in my view an very poor tv show as another poster said akin to Love Island (which is definitely aimed at teenagers). Does that mean you're not a grown up?

magicbastarder

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122052009#Comment_122052009

there's an awful lot of stuff people do or are interested in - and a lot of it would be considered 'respectable' or accepted behaviour that i find head-scratching; and vice versa too. but one of the areas ireland has made good progress in over the last few decades is the breakdown of stereotypes, where (most) people are much less focussed on what you should be doing or what you should be interested in, or making judgements about you based on those interests.

it has been heartening to see my parent's generation become more liberal, and that's a lot to do with them having raised kids in the 70s/80s/90s and dealing with the issues their kids raised or took home with them.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122052023#Comment_122052023

I judge you on your words. I have also come to believe that you are an American on a mission.

Its widely considered that both watching and playing football is a very adult thing to do. Its just goes to show that what one considers adult another will consider childish - just as I do regarding football.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122052065#Comment_122052065

Watching sport is not childish or immature.

But if you have a 45-year old shouting at the TV or jumping up, roaring at the top of their voice because Leeds United, which they have no links to, scored a goal — then yes, that's often indicative of some kind of emotional immaturity. How can any grown adult behave like that?

It's what adolescents do, and it absolutely has no place in a mature adult.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122052079#Comment_122052079

Watching sport is the very essence of immaturity. A vast sucker of time and resources for no ultimate benefit. The ultimate distraction - bread and circuses to keep the masses calm.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122052095#Comment_122052095

It's a very bizarre definition of "immaturity", one not worth the name — that says immaturity and time wasting are synonymous.

Someone sitting down after work to watch a round of golf, or whatever sport, is not immature — and for them, not wasting their time either.

Rocket_GD

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122052079#Comment_122052079

You've clearly never experienced a 95th minute winner so.

When you say they have no links to it, how do you know that they don't? They've probably followed that club for 40 years, made friends for life through their shared interest. It could have been one of the only things that brought them together with some family members or a link to a family member that they have lost.

Are there some people out there who don't want to grow up and want to live with Mammy and Daddy for life, of course there is.

Does what people enjoy as a hobby or how they celebrate a goal have anything to do with that? Not one bit.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122052119#Comment_122052119

And yet you declare someone watch a cartoon as been immature.

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https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122052124#Comment_122052124

If you have a 51-year old man at home, who has never moved out, and watches Teletubbies or Peppa Pig in their spare time — then yes, at the very least there is a problem.

I don't believe in the theory of "live and let live". If someone is doing the above, something has seriously gone wrong with their emotional and personal development over time.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122052125#Comment_122052125

But it does nothing and is not constructive. Its a "game", no different to tiddly winks, a thing who's only purpose is to entertain. How is that different to a movie or cartoon.

People maybe heavily invested in sport but that doesn't imbue it with meaning.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122052133#Comment_122052133

I have never encountered such a fictional shibboleth of a man, and I guarantee that neither have you.

Straw man again.

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https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122052190#Comment_122052190

If you are going to be judgemental of either (which I ain't) then they are equally childish.