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Talking about sex life

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    #32
    ineedacompass
    Registered Users Posts: 36 ✭ineedacompass


    Never discuss your sex life with anyone unless it’s your partner or a therapist. No good ever comes from it and if a couple are openly talking, that’s on them. You don’t have to contribute to the conversation or buy into it. How well did you even know this couple? By the sounds of it, not well.

    I agree with the above poster that you gave them the ammo and you should have had more cop on not divulging intimate information. If I was your BF, it would bother me more that you openly said something like that so easily as I would imagine every couples sex life is private. It would indicate that I couldn’t trust you and that you can be foolish.

    Just because they were talking about it doesn’t mean you had to. You could coyly say “that’s between me and (name)” and changed the subject nicely. You should set down your boundaries and make them clear.

    You say this happened 2 years ago and this friend is still talking about it? That’s a separate issue. Maybe your BF should re-evaluate his friendship. Bit weird the friend is still going on about it. This is the problem when boundaries are blurred. For some reason, this friend of his thinks it’s ok to disrespect you and your partner and keep pressing your partners buttons which suggests to me this guy isn’t a real friend at all. Your partner should be well able to confront the friend and tell him to shut the f*ck up rather than blaming you. It’s the friend taking it too far with no discretion and has escalated it. The problem in Ireland I think in regards to slagging and friend groups, especially men, is that the lines and boundaries are non existent because people like your partners friend are appeased in fear of it getting worse. So your partner and other friends will likely nod away, laugh it off l and take the slagging in person or on the WhatsApp group. In actual fact, he should be putting this guy in his place and confronting his fascination with your sex life. It is creepy. And if he gets no straight answer or if the friend doesn’t let up, he should cut him off and not engage him anymore. Some may say that’s easier said then done but if your partner showed strength and conviction, he’d earn respect.

    Personally if someone blurted out what you did, and if I was the other party, I’d probably change the subject and move on and besides, I’d probably forget it because I have a life and I’m an adult.

    You both need to work on your boundaries. You need to keep your private business and thoughts to yourself in social situations and your partner needs to get his priorities in order, get a backbone and consider ditching this friend.

    Post edited by ineedacompass on


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    #33
    gym_imposter
    Registered Users Posts: 532 ✭✭✭gym_imposter


    He and his mates sound really immature, it was a harmless comment OP , christ my wife told her girlfriends far worse and claimed " girls talk" , I didn't really care tbh

    Perhaps you meant conventional and used vanilla?



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    #34
    Alexus25
    Registered Users Posts: 116 ✭✭Alexus25


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121887440#Comment_121887440

    You have no reason to feel bad

    The reaction from your partners friends and your partner sounds so immature, I'm guessing your partner has a fragile ego. And I'm guessing you're all in your early 20s for this reaction.

    You have done nothing wrong, your partner should not give 2 cents what his friends think regarding this and he has completely blown this out of proportion, once you're both happy with ye're sex life, that's all that matters, regardless of the type it is as that's irrelevant



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