So many middle aged Irishmen have let themselves go

sameoldname

Yeah, let's take all the pressure we put on women on how they look and dress and place it on to men too. That'll fix the problem! Didn't we as a society decide a good while ago that this is a bad thing?

Also, assuming the OP is a straight male, why would it bother them in the slightest how other men dress or how fat they are?

taxAHcruel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121887126#Comment_121887126

In my experience that is only partly right. I remember some wonderfully tasty food growing up. But we did not over eat it either because of the type of foods it was. It was full whole food and satiating. Our lack of over eating was not at all because the food was not that great. Quite the opposite. We would sometimes want to over eat it because it tasted so good. We simply couldn't.

I remember particularly loving my mothers take on the traditional Irish Bacon, Cabbage and Potato. Whatever she did I have never had one as good since in my life. I wish I knew her secret. I remember many times mournfully looking at what was left on my plate wishing I could eat more of it but simply being unable to take another bite. But I never over ate that meal because I simply couldn't do so.

What has happened to many people in modern times is that the foods we eat do not always kick off satiation signals so we are able to eat a lot more of it. Not just able to but sometimes we simply can not stop ourselves from doing it. Pringles sold the slogan "Once you pop you just can't stop" as if it was a good thing about their product.

These days I keep my own weight down by eating quite a lot. Which sounds counter intuitive. But it works for my physiology personally. I do it by sticking to as much variety in my food as I possibly can and I go with a "Protein Leading" approach which kicks off my feeling of satiation sooner. I am not quite on the Carnivore diet but I skew strongly in that direction all the same.

So I can end up eating a hell of a lot more than the people around me in terms of physical quantity but without the effects of weight or similar. Or the traditional "afternoon crash" of energy or motivation or concentration. And I have helped a friend lose significant weight by not changing what he ate, or how much of it he ate - I simply changed when in the day he ate it and in what order. And the rest took care of itself.

So yea in some ways our food-obesity relationship is quite simple. In other ways its quite complex. And quite often what people think is an explanation ends up not being wrong but being a small part of a bigger picture. Even the traditional "Calories in Calories out" thinking has complexities and caveats that are worth exploring if you are on a weight loss path.

And exercise does not actually burn as many calories as people think. The reasons why exercise is good for weight loss is a lot deeper and more complex than it merely making you burn more calories. Which of course it does directly. But the reasons why it is good for weight loss go further than merely the calories it is burning as you do it.

corner of hells

Does anyone know where I could get a snack box at this time of the day ?

yagan

Sometimes people don't change their diet intake as their metabolism changes and it piles up. When once I jogged I now just walk.

The dreadful dress and presentation of most men in my own age cohort is the reason why I’m a cougar. Younger guys are in fabulous condition, and before a date will often consult on every bit of attire they should wear, sending pictures. It’s quite charming. Older lads, nah, though there are exceptions.

freshpopcorn

I think apart of the problem could be these men are busy looking after there families, trying to put a roof over their heads, etc. Instead of staring at middle aged men & commenting how they look/are wearing.

Most fellas I know would buy anyy clothes for their kids/wives so they would sacrifice their own wardrobe.

BolloxChop

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121887117#Comment_121887117

Probably The Guardian or The Journal...

RoboRat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121887536#Comment_121887536

They consult you on every bit of attire they should wear? Yeah, that's just sad and odd. They sound like they're looking for a mommy figure.

gym_imposter

I'm nearly forty seven, look about ten years younger, go to the gym, I've a high metabolism so even though I'm a fiend for ice cream ( non dairy) , soft drinks and biscuits ( albeit GF plain ones ) , I'm not at all overweight

I've absolutely zero sex appeal though so despite all of the above my wife has nothing to worry about

Eoinbmw

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121887536#Comment_121887536

"Fabulous condition" are you dating horses?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121887610#Comment_121887610

Well the latter would be very true. I’m being slightly tongue in cheek, but I have seen a couple of examples of this from Tinder encounters. “Would you prefer me to wear this shirt or that shirt? Which do you like best?”

If you are a contentedly happy married/etc person you wouldn’t have a clue as to how people present on dating sites. It’s a whole other world. Older chaps usually present themselves very badly, poorly framed photos etc. Younger guys do have more vanity. I’m not saying one is better than another, but the first thing, for better or worse, on these sites is initial sexual attraction. I suppose younger people are better tuned in.

I don’t know how ladies present themselves, but I believe something like in Instagram with awful pouting lips. I presume older ladies present themselves more conservatively, but with the best pose they can muster, generally speaking.

dxhound2005

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121887627#Comment_121887627

You're nothing special. Plenty of people are not overweight, according to the HSE. And unless there is some medical reason, you do not need to have dairy free ice cream, or gluten free biscuits.

"Whilst men are more likely to be overweight than women (men: 43%, women: 31%), the proportions that are obese are more closely aligned (men: 25%, women: 22%)"

Sunny Disposition

In my 40s and my observation would be that many Irish men of my own age just couldn't give a bollocks about appearance. Not a fck. There are lots of exceptions of course, but that'd be the default setting of the Irish male.

And that should be encouraged. If people are happy with themselves regardless of their appearance, that's great.

RoboRat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121887686#Comment_121887686

OK, that clears that up. I still think it's a bit sad not having the confidence to pick your own shirt, but maybe that's why they're on Tinder.

I have no clue how to present myself on a dating site and from hearing what my younger colleagues say, if I became single tomorrow, I would give it a wide berth.

The fact that you have to present yourself in a certain way would turn me off - I am what I am and if that's not suitable, why waste time? I would much rather meet someone in an organic setting as I know that I am attracted to how they actually look, and I'm not reading some rehashed dating 101 bio spiel. It's easy to use a photo filter to make yourself look amazing, but not so easy in real life... What do you do when you turn up and you're not remotely attracted to them... just walk away and ghost them? I would find that hard as it's rude and insensitive, but at the same time, they weren't honest so perhaps that's what they deserve. Jesus, it's awkward.

I'm glad I'm married, dating nowadays seems so superficial and transient. It's like the throwaway culture has entered the social setting.

Tenzor07

If "letting ones self go" is the opposite to what you see those born in the late 90's and early 2000's are doing now by getting Botox jabs, fake tans, turkey teeth, bankrupting themselves to buy designer clothes, constantly working out in the gym and possibly shooting up with performance enhancers and fat loss drugs as well as taking viagra then I'll take "letting myself go" any day of the week!!

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121887765#Comment_121887765

It’s part of the flirting and foreplay, not that they lack confidence per se. 😁 🐆

The J Stands for Jay

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121887511#Comment_121887511

What is a snack box?

taxAHcruel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121887765#Comment_121887765

I've said before that I think I am in a similar boat. What I have seen of "dating" today - though most of it second or third hand - really makes me glad I am not single. And if I ever become single - as much as I like my relationship and as much as I really love sex - I think I would be happy to say "Ok been there done that" and go the rest of my life without either. I would never go back out there and try and find a new relationship or sexual outlet. Sure plenty of other things I can get after instead :)

BrianD3

In terms of clothes and grooming, covid lockdowns and working from home probably haven't helped. People got used to slobbing out at home.

"Young lads" are quite the opposite though, getting haircuts every 2 week, big into the gym and good eating, drinking seems to be less popular. Probably more steroid and cocaine use though.

It used to be the case that a young lad could distinguish himself (and get girls) by being in great shape, now, it's become more of a baseline and an expectation. Will they keep up their efforts as they age and settle down etc. who knows.

A lot of middle aged men have a fat face, probably a combination of genes and poor diet, if you combine a fat face with balding then a man can be unrecognisable compare to how they were when they were 18. I don't have this problem, have a chiselled face and most of my hair and get instantly recognised by people I haven't seen in 30 years. Due to life circumstances I have let myself go to an extent compared to how I used to be, used to lift weights twice per day, now I rarely do. Used to have a 47 inch chest and a 28 inch waist, now I'm at 46 inch chest and 32.5 inch waist, I think my arse is 38 inches so hopefully that is big enough to meet OP's approval,. .

Anaki r2d2

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121887536#Comment_121887536

Are you going on dates with these younger men? Or just fantasising at home on tinder & boards?

Wanderer2010

Fat phobia and body shaming alive and well. It may blow people's minds to know this but thin people die of heart attacks, strokes and cancers every day of the year. Being fat does not mean you are automatically sick. It's a particularly insidious form of healthism to lecture fat people on the "dangers" of not adhering to the outdated and very flawed BMI system. Unfortunately people are still conditioned to associate weight with health and acceptance.

laketreeroger

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121887176#Comment_121887176

Course you can , put it is still the reason for it. Previously there was a lot more men working in active jobs that didn’t actually need to make much of a conscious decision to keep fit. Oh sorry didn’t read that full post, yeah course you can have an office job and be ultra fit, apologies

techman1

Irish women are no mona Lisa's either as they get to middle age, they can probably hide the ageing process easier with make up and hair dye.

People were saying that younger men look much better now than we did, well I can say it's definitely the same for younger women. There seems to be alot more attractive younger women around today than there was when I was younger. So obviously younger women spend alot more time than they used to on their appearance, for better or worse

gym_imposter

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121887711#Comment_121887711

I'm gluten and lactose intolerant, next time lighten the presumptuousness load

Leg End Reject

I'm far more concerned with the obsession the Etiquette thread posters have with middle-aged men.

We just need the addition of angry, bootcut jeans, checked shirt and red-faced to round things off nicely.

It's 2024 lads, ye can chat them up if you like.

DarkJager21

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121887584#Comment_121887584

This 100%. I juggle 2 kids and a fairly stressful job on top of managing the rent bills and everything else, I couldn't give less of a **** what some creepy voyeur thinks of my dress sense.

monkeybutter

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121887536#Comment_121887536

men your age are probably after young wans for exactly the same reason, not spinsters

taxAHcruel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121888159#Comment_121888159

I would have thought that was why he wrote the words "unless there is some medical reason"? Do those words not specifically carry the "Load" of which you speak?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121888054#Comment_121888054

Personally I find it more helpful to speak in terms of "risk" rather than in absolutes. As you say being fat does not automatically mean you are sick. Nor - I would add - does being thin mean you are healthy. I would also add that smoking 40 cigarettes a day does not automatically mean you will get and/or die from Cancer. Nor does buying a Lottery Ticket automatically mean you are going to win the Lottery. The association between health and weight is one of affecting risk factors and probabilities rather than absolutes. I fully expect there will be many seriously over weight people who will out live me just as there will be many who will not.

Not big into "BMI" either myself. Some very healthy people would look very poor if all you had was their BMI. At best it is a measure that is only useful in the presence of a plethora of other measurements. But even then I would not care much about it.

Personally my life style of healthy eating, controlled body weight, sport and martial arts has nothing to do with any of that anyway. Rather I have suffered for as long as I remember with depression, anxiety, self hatred and lack of motivation and concentration. When I eat well, live well, and sport well, and I keep things in check such as my body weight - with discipline and control - those things essentially go away entirely.

They are still there but buried and not part of my life at all. They will likely some day come back. It's a war I fully believe I will ultimately lose. But I intend to win every battle in that war I can before the war is lost. The person I am today at my current age and weight is a long way from the very over weight sedentary lump of depression, anxiety and self hated you would have found lying on a couch somewhere 25 years ago praying to die. Which I literally did daily.

Basically my approach is not to "Add years to my life" but to "add life to my years". I would prefer to die at 55 as happy as I am now than live to 100 even a little bit the way I was at 25.

If the effect of that is also adding years to my life then I won't complain. But bad body weight was certainly a huge factor in a bag of factors that was letting my depression and anxiety control me.

whisky_galore

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121887536#Comment_121887536

Are they asking for make up tips as well? Metrosexual wusses.

whisky_galore

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121888141#Comment_121888141

The young set are attractive, but look like they've put their makeup and fake eyelashes on in the dark. Less is more, they don't seem to get that.