I have married the wrong person

Ray of Hope

I'm hoping the title says it all. I'm a professional and not sure here.

Ray of Hope

My husband comes home from work and ignores me on phone..we have no connection any more. My job is more intense and pays 3 times his. His is 10 times more Important in his head. I can't stop thinking of an ex who just wants to hear about my day. He placed my happiness at centre of his world. He is local and I made wrong choice and can't go back or can I? I know now attraction out of it he loved me and Ioved our connection. He was the one for me and I snubbed him. I made a mistake

Tell me how

Only you know if this is a fact, or a passing thought or where exactly in between.

If you were my friend, I'd suggest going to a therapist and teasing out what your feelings are. Are they cold feet/teething problems, or real negative and likely permanent feelings about your marriage.

If it is the former, talk to your husband about your concerns and see if you can both work through this together.

If it is the latter, contact divorce lawyers and start the process. (Don't even look at your ex until you have committed to ending your marriage if that is to be the path)

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Recliner

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121373765#Comment_121373765

I hope you're joking.

Have we time travelled back to the 1950's?

I would agree with the poster who suggested seeing a therapist.

evolvingtipperary101

Sounds like you’ve lost respect for him. Better tell him how you feel about what’s happening daily.

NATLOR

There is no going back OP trust me I've been there,do what is right for you life is too short

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Recliner

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121377337#Comment_121377337

Ah would you stop. He comes home from work, a job that he thinks is 10 times more important than hers, and proceeds to ignore her, and she's supposed to go all Salome and do the dance of the 7 veils to get his attention.

What about his lack of respect for her?

Calahonda52

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121373770#Comment_121373770

'50s no, too early

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121377337#Comment_121377337

Do you actually read what you wrote?

Try by being respectful to him, be feminine, attractive, seductive seek his interaction.

In other words give him a reason to get a hard on and bone her at his bidding to satisfy his most basic instincts

Tell me how

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121380347#Comment_121380347

We're hearing one side of the story here.

Recliner

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121380573#Comment_121380573

Every post on boards is one side of the story.

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Recliner

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121377337#Comment_121377337

And if you read your original post, I think you'll find that you are, in fact, the one who is sexist.

Shield

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058322761/i-have-married-the-wrong-person

When you have verified your account by clicking on the link we sent to your email, try asking in our Relationship Issues forum where it now currently resides.

Thanks.

-Shield

Big Bag of Chips

Relationship Issues Charter now applies. Anyone unfamiliar with this forum or the standard of posting expected here should familiarise themselves with The Charter before posting here.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2057235143/relationship-issues-charter-read-before-posting-14-sep-2022

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https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121373701#Comment_121373701

Is your issue is the pay differnce? The 3:1 ratio?

Do you know why your husband prefers the company of his phone to your company?

Why do you think he thinks his job is 10x important to yours?

Why do you think the ex is better.

Your a professional, so what is he?

In my experience ex's are ex's for a reason

There is a lot going on here for a bunch of random nobody's to be giving you advice.

One person says make a "sexy time" effort, another gets angry....me, I would not be looking for relationship advice on a forum..

IMHO Poster 2 speaks sense. Councilling would be the best course of action for you, then perhaps both of you.

marilynrr

You really need to give more detail.

How long have you been married and how long has the marriage been like this? Are you still intimate?

You said in his head he is 10 times more important, what makes you think this? Are chores etc left to you?

Are you in contact with your ex?

notAMember

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121383224#Comment_121383224

I know, lols.

hey honey, come home after your busy day earning the household income to your slack-ass phone addicted Hubbie and make sure you fetch his slippers. Flippen’ Nora. OP makes triple his income!

Anyone who ignores his wife and talks himself up falsely has a giant ego that needs deflating, not pandering. I’d give him a wake up call in your position … tell him to cop on or move on. You are his equal in a marriage, not a subordinate , he needs to recognise it.

spakman

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121383240#Comment_121383240

What does their respective wages have to do with it?

Earning more money doesn't equate to being more important or having a greater say in things.

If a man said that....

iniscealtra

Totally agree @spakman Both should respect each other regardless of salaries if both are pulling their weight in the relationship.

Big Bag of Chips

Posters are reminded of The charter here. Many of the replies are not appropriate in this forum. This is an advice forum. Replies are expected to offer advice to the OP.

I will lock this thread for the moment, as the OP still needs to confirm their email address in order to be able to post here.

When the thread reopens we ask all posters to remember: Mature, constructive, civil advice.