Is the Internet Destroying Some People’s Lives? **Mod Warning In Post #131**

ancapailldorcha

I think part of the problem is that for some people, the internet has ruined socialising with people one does not know very well. I find it impossible to ask people the same questions about where they're from, the weather, etc when the internet is so much more engaging. I love seeing my friends but they're all married now and some are having children. If I end up in an uncomfortable silence, I just find myself wishing I could go home and enjoy a game, a book or a film. It's just so much better.

ruth...less

The internet has just made everything more obvious.

It has made everything more instant.

It has increased isolation under a disguise of promoting social 'connection'.

I so miss going into a cd shop and browsing and carefully deciding what I was going to get...even if I had the option to do that now, I still wouldn't cause you don't need too. It's all there and it's there in abundance. It's not a rare little treasure you found.

There are positives but there are some things I miss dearly about a time before it and it's little things that you can't define and don't make sense because technically it's made everything easier but...it's like...you want to do some research for college? Don't need to go to the library..look it all up online be finished in no time...but it's not a rush. It's getting the bus to the library and the chat you had with the old grandad at the bus stop. It's the calming environment inside the library. It's the smile the librarian gave you, the date stamps on the book of all the people that took that book out before you. Meeting a friend randomly on the way home etc.

I was reading about my old library the other day and I got a memory of the feeling you'd get walking in and suddenly being so aware of how you had to be very quiet. I know library's still exist but you know.

CalamariFritti

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121316000#Comment_121316000

I mean you're entitled to your opinion but you're using quite aggressive language practically all the time. Some might call it grandstanding. Insulting even. Putting everything you dont like into belittling boxes and then some more grandstanding and insulting.

I've had thread and forum bans for this myself in the past. I was accused of using language and showing attitude that was generally not along the lines of what moderation wanted boards to be. Not with those very words, but accused of basically 'sh1t stirring' and being mean. Not being civil. And possibly not having the right opinion on some things.

The latter may or may not be true, might just be my own personal 'conspiracy theory'.

You seem to get away with not being civil. Whats your secret?

Rothko

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121328311#Comment_121328311

You mean like this rant that they spewed out and are obviously embarrassed about?

CGI_Livia_Soprano

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121324362#Comment_121324362

That’s a pity, in my (lengthy!) experience it is incredibly rewarding to make small talk with strangers. Maybe it’s a generational thing.

Potential-Monke

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121329438#Comment_121329438

Tis generational alright. Had no choice years ago as there was nothing else to do. Now, we don't have to waste time nor energy talking crap with people we don't know nor want to know. Far more interesting things to be doing.

CGI_Livia_Soprano

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121329551#Comment_121329551

Bit negative there, mate. There’s absolutely no harm in connecting with your fellow human beings.

Potential-Monke

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121329572#Comment_121329572

There is, plenty potential harm. You come into contact with more and more greedy selfish individuals. I know enough already, thanks. And I have a small friend group which is more than enough for me, I don't need any more nosy people in my life. Most are self serving imo. But my decision to not engage with others has no bearing on anyone else, but the opposite side seem to think I need to be, no should be a social butterfly.

If it's coming across as negative to you, well, that's how I feel due to the actions of other humans over the years. I've had enough so I don't engage anymore. And I'm mentally better off for it.

CGI_Livia_Soprano

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121329593#Comment_121329593

Yikes.

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121329438#Comment_121329438

I agree but it seems to be very context dependent for me. Like, I was in a Parisian restaurant and I ended up giving some Aussies a history lesson about William the Conqueror and tourist tips for their trip to London. Then again, I forced myself to go to the local Irish pub last month and I just sat there miserable.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121329551#Comment_121329551

Aye, this is it. Small talk is more important than the name suggests. It's how bonds get forged but since what's on your phone is objectively more interesting, the skills either atrophy or never develop to begin with.

Potential-Monke

Or, just maybe, the thing on the phone is far more interesting than what the locals think of each other, or how the latest millionaires sports game went, or what vapid individuals are on reality tv or soaps... There's far more scope and availability for someone to do what they like vs having to do what everyone else does out of lack of options. I've very thankful, because I hate small talk. I hate the expected norms and typical conversations one is supposed to have with everyone else. Simply because A: we probably have nothing in common, and B: I'm sick of trying to explain my side to people who can't don't want to understand. You see the reaction to people in their 30s who still play games (I'm actually 40, so probably even more weird to some). Why would I want to face that in real life? I don't have to. It's great. More people should try it and leave me the feck alone.

CGI_Livia_Soprano

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121329654#Comment_121329654

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121329742#Comment_121329742

Honestly, the stuff you two are coming out with sound very sad.

It’s fun and healthy to engage in your hobbies for a little, such as video games, exercise or watching sport.

However, to totally immerse yourself at them in order to completely isolate yourself from other people sounds genuinely pathetic to me, if not indicative of some sort of depressive illness or disorder.

Grown men whining over and over again about how much they hate small talk and sneering at other people’s own passions don’t sound like well-adjusted, happy adults to me. They sound like the people who were bullied in school (or some other formative trauma) who never got over it and rail against the world about it decades later.

If I heard anyone over the age of about sixteen crying about the hardships of amiable chats with strangers I would either suggest they go for counselling to help them deal with whatever trauma they’re still processing or tell them to give their head a bloomin wobble. Go out and touch some grass, as the kids say. You’re not the main character.

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121330219#Comment_121330219

I've no idea why you feel the need to make up nonsense like this. I see no point in engaging further.

CGI_Livia_Soprano

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121330256#Comment_121330256

So you weren’t sneering at people watching “English” football matches then? That was a bizarre sectarian comment, I hasten to add.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121316795#Comment_121316795

Hangdogroad

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058320748/is-the-internet-destroying-some-people-s-lives

Youre right. Some posters on Boards spend a truly abominable amount of time on here.

eightieschewbaccy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121330219#Comment_121330219

That's the most bizarrely judgmental of posts. Personally, I loath small talk with randomers unless we have a common interest. I've been like that since I was a child. (Partially due to being on spectrum probably) I'll happily have conversations with friends, family and work colleagues.

There's nothing disordered or mentally unwell, it amounts to a personality type. You should probably be more accepting of the fact that people vary and don't necessarily wish to approach life the same way as you.

Rothko

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121330219#Comment_121330219

Another nasty comment. Not a good look at all.

Potential-Monke

Little do they realise its people like that that turn us the way we are. Great sig too...

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121333905#Comment_121333905

Missed the sig. They open with pretend concern and finish with scorn and contempt. "Touch grass" is exclusively a phrase used as an expression of derision.

Anyway, a new DLC for my favourite game just dropped so that's me sorted for a while.

CGI_Livia_Soprano

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121333905#Comment_121333905

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121333948#Comment_121333948

If you’re talking about me: I was showing genuine concern and I was reacting to posts that showed incredible, way out of proportion cynicism towards small talk with strangers.

The truth is that humans are social animals, and connections between humans, even fleetingly can be rewarding.

I really believe anyone who shares the views you two were espousing last night really must be suffering from some sort of unresolved trauma. It’s just not right to react so strongly at the idea of sharing space with strangers.

Rothko

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121334374#Comment_121334374

There's nothing genuine about any of your posts. That last part is particularly disgusting.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121324319#Comment_121324319

The Gaza pictures are among the most distressing I’ve ever seen, I have to scroll past as I’d have nightmares forever more, and staring at the pictures won’t help one of thdm. Glad I got a glimpse all the same, as at least I know what is actually happening.

Another internet hobby

eightieschewbaccy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121334374#Comment_121334374

You implied a person was mentally ill for not liking small talk with strangers. If you're new to the concept of introverted people, it's perfectly healthy and normal. Not everyone wants to talk to randomers, particularly in places like pubs tbh.

Flaneur OBrien

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121336096#Comment_121336096

Thats always been there. The internet just gave them a place to gather en masse.

EmmetSpiceland

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121335726#Comment_121335726

I guess some people would consider autism, or Asperger’s, as a mental illness.

Not sure if that’s the “definition” nowadays, though.

Strumms

I don’t know a single human being who has had their life destroyed by the internet, nor have I heard of one…. and the internet has been in regular use by people since mid 1990’s… so almost 30 years. I’ve never even heard another human say… “ahhh that too bad, the internet ruined him.” Or “ Jesus she was actually ok before she went online “

I’ve also never heard of people being ‘left behind’ by the internet… some people just leave the internet behind they are fine with that.

the internet is a tool, for information, communication, entertainment and more besides. If the internet gets blamed by a person on destroying a person’s life, then they have more issues then the internet.

CGI_Livia_Soprano

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121335726#Comment_121335726

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being introverted.

However the posts I were reacting to, where two posters held extreme over-the-top reactions to small talk with strangers, were indicative of larger personal issues to me. In my humble opinion.

kowloonkev

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121337963#Comment_121337963

It's a silent killer.

Potential-Monke

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121339999#Comment_121339999

Your humble opinion directly stated that we have mental issues, that it's pathetic, a result of unresolved trauma, indicates depression. An exact quote:

Grown men whining over and over again about how much they hate small talk and sneering at other people’s own passions don’t sound like well-adjusted, happy adults to me. 

Completely oblivious* to the fact your own words are your whine about how I'm unsocial/introverted. All above a #bekind sig.

You're a dick, simple as, and people like you are part of the reason I've become an introvert. *Most likely you know exactly what you are and all words are deliberately chosen. Off with ya.