Crush on my co-worker

boardsie12

So I started a new job recently and currently share the same shifts with this lady that I have taken a fancy to. We live in the same building and we spend a lot of time together, like we go to the gym together and we share a taxi to go shopping because it splits the cost and things like this.

I enjoy spending time with her, but I'm not sure if she's into me, actually I have no idea.

There are a few things to take into account- She's 10 years younger than me, she's 22 and I'm 32, a massive age gap.

We went out a few weeks ago for dinner and she spent most of the time on her phone, I kind of thought that it might be a date, but I was wrong.

Recently I was chatting to a different co-worker and we were talking about scary movies at Halloween and ended up talking about the new Exorcist movie, then she said, "Oh, you should invite ____ to go with you." I didn't really think much about it, but after I was thinking that it might be a hint and perhaps she's talking about me with different people.

We were chatting to a different co-worker another day and we were talking about seeing someone that we knew when we went shopping. Then the other co-worker was like "Maybe he thinks you two are a couple" the crush quickly turned around and told the co-worker to stop and looked a bit embarrassed.

I'm just a bit confused and I really don't know how to approach this and what to look out for, like what if she's not into me at all and if I come onto her and then she refuses and things could be awkward for the next few years.

I've been trying to approach things differently, like she's my best friend in the new job, but maybe she just sees me as an older brother-type figure, I'm not too sure and I'm bad at reading body language and these type of things.

What kind of things should I be looking for? Like any clues and stuff?

I've been out of the dating scene for about 2 years (really bad break up) but now she's the only one that I currently like.

What should I do?

Irishman in Sweden

Keep it as friends. It won't be worth it if you are wrong. You are a man so automatically you think sex. Keep the big brother idea in your head. When you change your mind then you can relax with her as a friend. Yes, she is too young. You will find somone your old age. Better off that way. I have not read anyother comments but I am sure they are saying go for it. The fact you wrote here means that you know it would not be a good idea.

RurtBeynolds

She sounds like a 22 year old head wreck.

Mrs OBumble

First rule of a happy workplace: don't screw the crew.

Move on.

Ash.J.Williams

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058320177/crush-on-my-co-worker

Do it do it do it

tesla_newbie

Sounds like you are firmly friendzoned

T-Maxx

Cut to the chase OP and send her the dick pics.

Ash.J.Williams

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121300874#Comment_121300874

Or a mates dick pics 😂😂

Panthro

Good lord man no. Unless there's a clear signal i.e. she says "come hither you stallion" take it your in the zone of friendship.

ancapailldorcha

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121300903#Comment_121300903

This. Dear God this.

I'd this once. She was defintitely into me. I'd no idea what she looked like (Covid - masks) so I left it until her leaving do which never materialised.

But yeah, unless you're getting serious signals, don't and even then have a think about how wedded you are to working where you're working now.

L.Ball

 She's 10 years younger than me, she's 22 and I'm 32

lol, lmao even.

Ezeoul

I think you need to take a step back here and put a bit of distance between you, especially outside of work.

Change your gym routine and go for your shopping by yourself, or order online and have it delivered!

Best to have boundaries and keep home life and work life separate as much as possible.

All the stuff you're doing together now seems a little too intense.

And your other co-workers are picking up on it.

bucketybuck

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121300626#Comment_121300626

Sounds more like a 32 year old headwreck.

Imagine the new guy chasing after one of the young kids at work, he'd be a laughing stock.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058320177/crush-on-my-co-worker

Don't. Stick with working. These things don't match.

rolling boh

Unless I am way out of the loop going out to dinner with somebody who then is looking at her phone for a good chunk of the evening is a sign of bad manners and not showing you much respect and it certainly wasn't a date .

pgj2015

I am sure plenty of 22 years olds would get into a relationship with a 32 year old, he is 32 not 72, its only a 10 year gap, but there are plenty more fish in the sea, so I wouldn't go there as I don't think you should date anyone you work with. I always think of the break up, she dumps you then you are heartbroken and seeing her flirt with other guys at work or hearing from colleagues that she is seeing some cool new guy lol even though you only broke up last week etc etc

hoodie6029

What happen the wedding?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058258559/getting-married-in-a-few-months

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121301985#Comment_121301985

Seriously. A ten year age difference at 22. No way! They're a kid.

pgj2015

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121302129#Comment_121302129

Yeah well I wouldn't want to date a 22 year old at 32 but plenty do.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121302185#Comment_121302185

Maybe just me but weird. 32 I'd feel icky about.

NIMAN

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121302017#Comment_121302017

😆

A real thread or just someone who likes making up stories?

hoodie6029

Honestly, this thread is depressing. This isn’t personal issues forum, why isn’t this dreamer being absolutely roasted??

OP, if you do go ahead, I’d recommend getting waxed everywhere and I mean EVERYWHERE! The younger crowd expect it. It’d be a nightmare to finally get into bed and be laughed right back out of it.

It can be a good way to bring up your feelings too. ‘So, there’s not a hair on my body from my toes to my neck. wanna guess why?’

pgj2015

You would think he was 80 lol

I met someone lately who I guessed was about 22 or 23. im 39, she was all over me even though she had a boyfriend, I was thinking why is she so all over me but maybe she didnt know I was 39 or maybe she liked older guys? But I had no interest in her, she was good looking but its too young for me, someone that age would annoy me but lots of women are into older guys. I wouldnt be too hard on the op.

orourkeda1

Be careful. I had a serious horn for a colleague and it turned into a mess.

My head was melted.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121302830#Comment_121302830

I had a serious horn for a colleague and it turned into a mess.

Well, to be fair, you were walking around the office with it basically on display.

It was inevitable that HR were going to have to get involved sooner rather than later.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121301919#Comment_121301919

Maybe she was just so excited that she couldn't wait to tell all her friends that she had met "the one"

In reality, OP, as someone else already pointed out, you are well and truly "friendzoned" by this point

mode1990

100% , as the yanks say " don't shite where you eat " !

Motivator

The age gap is no issue at all, it’s not as if she’s 16 ffs. The issue here is he has to work with her. I was shagging a girl I worked with a few years ago. Nothing major we were just riding buddies. It fizzled out after a while and it just became really awkward in the office. Most people just presumed we kissed one night on a work night out so they were constantly trying to be funny passing comments about us getting together. In the end she ended up moving to a different department because of the awkwardness.

The fact this guy works, lives, shops and goes to the gym with this girl would mean a serious change of lifestyle if you ended up trying something and got pied. What I will say is don’t mind what other people say on here, make up your own mind. If it works out you get to shag a much younger girl.

chrisd2019

Sounds like you are over thinking this , just relax and be patient, let things develop.

Have you been shopping and gym partner since becoming co workers or prior to that?

Feisar

At times like this you gotta ask yerself, what would Feeky do?

Ubbquittious

I dont mind the age difference, its not massive. Problem is work. You have to be very careful because she has so much leverage in this situation.

She can throw the full might of HR at you if you say or do something she doesnt like and walk away unscathed herself. Everyone will back her without question