Getting married in a few months

boardsie12

I will be getting married in a few months and we haven't really broadcasted our wedding, only close family, close friends, and a few others know about it.

We initially decided to keep it quiet because of Covid and all the uncertainty and the backlog at our local church, we are still worried that our plans might get cancelled again!

Anyway, to put a long story short, we haven't really invited a lot of people, even before Covid, we were not really planning on inviting a lot of people and we always wanted to keep it low key, by low key, I mean, only a few people on each side, mostly, cousins, uncles and aunts, and a select few friends.

Recently, I was thinking about inviting a childhood friend, we used to be really close, but in recent years we became very distant, he moved away, so did I, and there was never any real contact, just life changed and our pattern and routine changed, and we never bothered to maintain the friendship. I would have wanted him to join our wedding 10 years ago, if I had decided to get married back then, but now things are awkward because we haven't spoken in years, but he was a big part of my childhood years and we spent consecutive days and days together growing up.

It's just a bit complicated because he is still in contact with another close friend, and I don't want to invite the other guy for personal reasons.

I'm a bit worried, if I invite him and don't invite others, it might cause a bit of tension among the group, like, "why did you invite him but not me?" Those kind of issues or "But you didn't invite me to your wedding that time."

It's obviously a really stressful time for both of us, mostly because of the stress associated with it all, relatives coming back from America, and so on, and I don't really need any extra tension.

I just feel like, if I invite 1, then I'll have to invite the others, and I don't want it to turn complicated.

Have you ever been in a situation like this and what did you do to resolve it?

Is it right to invite 1 friend but not the others?

SteM

The ideas of keeping it low key and inviting a friend you haven't spoken to in years don't really mix. Leave him be and save yourself the complications.

If you really want to meet up with him wait to get the wedding out of the way and reach out.

BronsonTB

Invite who you want - It's your day.

Anyone not invited should understand this.

boardsie12

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119464518#Comment_119464518

Would you be upset if your best friend from school didn't invite you to his wedding?

boardsie12

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119464527#Comment_119464527

Would you be upset if your best friend from school didn't invite you to his wedding?

BronsonTB

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119464534#Comment_119464534

No - Not seen them in 20+ years. 'Best friend' can be time sensitive.

Also it's your day, invite who you want there but if you're not in communication nowadays, then probably would not invite.

realdanbreen

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058258559/getting-married-in-a-few-months

The bit that sticks out for me is " it's obviously really a stressful time for both of us" . Why? A certain apprehension that everything goes well is understandable but stressful! Like are ye both getting stressed out over this?

StupidLikeAFox

Look its your wedding, you can invite who you like and don't have to justify it to anybody. Though I think it would be strange to invite a guy you lost contact with based on a relationship you once had in school. You are not even going to hang around with him all that much on the day, and you prob won't have much to talk about anyway.

Its even stranger that you would invite him and not other friends who you are presumably be closer to - what's the reasoning behind that?

SteM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119464528#Comment_119464528

Not if they told me they were keeping it low key, no. But then I hate being invited to weddings and we kept ours to 45 very close friends and family.

bad2thebone

Sometimes it's nice to be invited to a wedding by an old friend. Obviously he's made an impact on your life and ye had an impression on each other.

He could be lonely or thinking about you now and again, and I still have friends who I hardly ever have contact with and when we meet we have a great laugh and catch up.

We'd love to hang out for a day's fishing or hiking if we lived closer. I have a friend like that and only met him the other day in town. He said he misses dry witty laughs and banter we'd have if we went out for a night. He's married now and lives up the country.

Friends will always be friends, you should like you're a conscientious kind of guy, so your friend obviously matters.

Up to you OP but I wouldn't be swayed by my suggestion or anyone else on board's. Just follow your gut feeling.

HazeDoll

Nobody ever said, 'Oh great, a wedding invitation!'

Nobody ever said, 'Well, that's disappointing. I really wanted to go to that wedding.'

If you want to make contact with an old friend go ahead and do it. Don't complicate it by making it about your wedding.

Loveinapril

I am struggling to see what inviting him would add to the wedding, especially if you are not inviting other pals who could be mutual friends. You are inviting someone you aren't close with to a small wedding with a carefully selected group of people. I don't get it.