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Have you ever randomly ghosted someone?

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    #32
    ancapailldorcha
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 37,589 CMod ✭✭✭✭ancapailldorcha


    Why would you randomly ghost someone? Ghosting is inherently deliberate so you can't really do it randomly.

    We sat again for an hour and a half discussing maps and figures and always getting back to that most damnable creation of the perverted ingenuity of man - the County of Tyrone.

    H. H. Asquith



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    #33
    RoboRat
    Registered Users Posts: 2,490 ✭✭✭RoboRat


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006479#Comment_121006479

    Some people live busy lives and they forget, or they don't have time, or they feel a response is not important, or a response may require dialogue and could be protracted, or they're simply not in the mood to respond. They could be a needy friend and you put it on the long finger. Whilst it's not deliberate ghosting, it's still perceived as ghosting by the other party and it could be argued that it's unintended ghosting.

    I agree that deliberate ghosting can't be random - you have made a conscious decision not to communicate.



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    #34
    RoboRat
    Registered Users Posts: 2,490 ✭✭✭RoboRat


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006369#Comment_121006369

    Yeah, I think I tried that one but it didn't work. I think she may have rang from another number and I answered - It was over 20 years ago so my memory is hazy on the full details... I just remember that I was kicking myself and wanting to kick my mate as she was a knockout. Serves me right.



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    #35
    pgj2015
    Registered Users Posts: 8,978 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006729#Comment_121006729

    Maybe it worked out for the best, her personality might have been awful. 😊



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    #36
    Electric Gypsy
    Registered Users Posts: 240 ✭✭Electric Gypsy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006468#Comment_121006468

    Was it a text that he didn't respond to?

    Would he say hello back if you passed him on the street?



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    #37
    Electric Gypsy
    Registered Users Posts: 240 ✭✭Electric Gypsy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006739#Comment_121006739

    Awful personality? Not from what I can see! She took the initiative to call him. She also seemed to have an investigative side to her in the way she called him from a different number to catch him out. And I liked the way she got her own back with the way she got him to prove that he was into her before dismissing him... and thereby allowing her to act as if he'd been playing power games all along. Super cool girl, whoever she was.



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    #38
    Electric Gypsy
    Registered Users Posts: 240 ✭✭Electric Gypsy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121006729#Comment_121006729

    How in the name of God did he manage (while drunk) to turn you off her? You must have been easy to persuade back in the day. I thought that was the sort of thing that happened amongst girls, NOT guys.



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    #39
    pgj2015
    Registered Users Posts: 8,978 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121007081#Comment_121007081

    power games? he just didnt want anything to do with her again, thats not playing power games.

    just because she called him, and from another phone, and rejected him doesnt mean she was a great person.



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    #40
    RoboRat
    Registered Users Posts: 2,490 ✭✭✭RoboRat


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121007096#Comment_121007096

    Hmmm, let's say I had a couple of incidents back in the day where I made bad judgment calls under the influence regarding the fairer sex, and I wasn't so confident in my decision-making process after one too many 🙄

    Probably why I gave up drinking in excess, thankfully! Anyhow, perhaps it was fate as I met my wife a couple of years later and we're happily married for 12 years now (been together for 19 years).



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    #41
    RoboRat
    Registered Users Posts: 2,490 ✭✭✭RoboRat


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121007448#Comment_121007448

    Definitely wasn't power games - never been into that sh1te. She did seem like a really nice person and my hazy memory was that we had a great laugh and she was very down to earth... I had to admire her for seeing through my mistake and calling it.



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    #42
    pgj2015
    Registered Users Posts: 8,978 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121007563#Comment_121007563

    Yeah but they all seem like really nice people at the start. 😉



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    #43
    RoboRat
    Registered Users Posts: 2,490 ✭✭✭RoboRat


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121007611#Comment_121007611

    True, and the same could be said for me. She obviously liked me enough to get my number and call, and I listened to my mate and blanked her. If I'm being honest, I deserved what I got and if something like that happened to my daughter, I would be very proud of how she handled it as you're only worth what you think of yourself.



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    #44
    Electric Gypsy
    Registered Users Posts: 240 ✭✭Electric Gypsy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121007448#Comment_121007448

    He clearly regretted not answering her calls, in case you didn't realise... it was his drunken friend's bad influence that turned him off her.

    I didn't actually say he was playing power games; I said she got to make it look like he had been doing that. As he said himself, he learned a lesson. He wouldn't have learned that lesson if she hadn't threw it back in his face. Whatever sort of person she was I'm sure he'd have had a hell of an experience.



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    #45
    Manc-Red_
    Registered Users Posts: 285 ✭✭Manc-Red_


    I think there’s a time and a place for most things within reason but the people who do it constantly are nothing but low-class.

    Saying that some people have to be ghosted because they’re themselves a disgrace and cause havoc and most decent people should walk away from them and just ignore them.

    Better Born Lucky Than Rich.



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    #46
    pgj2015
    Registered Users Posts: 8,978 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121007908#Comment_121007908

    You cant be sure of what kind of time he would have had with her, just because she was good looking? lol There are lots of them around. she could have cheated on him with his dad for all you know.



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    #47
    Dial Hard
    Registered Users Posts: 13,441 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121008024#Comment_121008024

    You have a really weird attitude towards women, dude.



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    #48
    pgj2015
    Registered Users Posts: 8,978 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121008064#Comment_121008064

    I would easily have said the same about a man. I just think its weird to assume this woman was the woman of his dreams by chatting her in a bar twice, rose tinted glasses etc

    I think you have a weird thing about me having a weird attitude towards women, it doesn't exist, dude.



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    #49
    Strumms
    Registered Users Posts: 24,904 ✭✭✭✭Strumms


    Can you randomly ghost someone ? Think ghosting has to be a deliberately, purposely targeted effort.

    if I decide to ignore my cousin Sarah, it’s not very random. It’s a deliberate decision…

    anyone I’ve ever ghosted it’s been with good reason, deliberate and with cause…



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    #50
    RoboRat
    Registered Users Posts: 2,490 ✭✭✭RoboRat


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121008078#Comment_121008078

    Where did I say she was the woman of my dreams? I said she was gorgeous and we obviously must have clicked, and that I regretted ghosting her. She may have been a serial killer, boring, or just plain nuts... or she could have been great - who knows?



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    #51
    pgj2015
    Registered Users Posts: 8,978 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121008111#Comment_121008111

    Exactly, thats what I was saying. It seemed like you and that other poster had your minds made up that she was the best thing since sliced bread.



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    #52
    Electric Gypsy
    Registered Users Posts: 240 ✭✭Electric Gypsy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121008024#Comment_121008024

    Well on that note I won't approach any good looking girl/woman again, and if one throws herself at me I'll reject her... because for all I know, there's an equal chance of the overall experience being counterproductive to my life as there is of it being a beneficial.



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    #53
    Electric Gypsy
    Registered Users Posts: 240 ✭✭Electric Gypsy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121008111#Comment_121008111

    But statistically, most likely not a serial killer, and far more likely (careful wording for pgj2015) to have provided an experience worth having.



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    #54
    pgj2015
    Registered Users Posts: 8,978 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121008166#Comment_121008166

    where are you getting that idea from? Im all for being optimistic but have you never met a good looking woman and regretted ever meeting her? or man (for any ladies and gay guys) for dial hard who thinks I have an agenda against women.



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    #55
    RoboRat
    Registered Users Posts: 2,490 ✭✭✭RoboRat


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121008132#Comment_121008132

    Not sure how you came to that conclusion. I've been around long enough to know that all that glitters isn't gold.

    Was she hot? Yes, I said that.

    Was she sound? Seemed to be, but I was four sheets to the wind so she may have been an absolute snoozefest. I didn't get the chance to investigate when I was sober because she shot me down!

    Did I regret it? Yes, but I wasn't crying into my cornflakes about it. To be honest, I haven't thought about it since it happened. It only popped into my head when I saw this thread. Ghosting is not something I do and it was the only time I think I've ever done it consciously, outside of work - although I don't class that as ghosting, just ignoring unwanted pitches.



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    #56
    pgj2015
    Registered Users Posts: 8,978 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    A story similar to the one about meeting people while drunk.

    A housemate in college met a girl on a night out, he was hammered and hadnt a clue what she looked like, she was texting him and so they agreed to meet. the 2 of us were joking that if she was hideous he would just keep driving as she approached his car.

    so he brings her back to the college house and we were all chatting, I thought she wasnt good looking at all and I eventually headed off, I assumed he thought she wasnt good looking as well and text him "what do you reckon? lol"

    He ended up seeing her for a while to my surprise but then dumped her in the end, she was really clingy and told him she loved him after 2 weeks. 😂



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    #57
    yourdeadwright
    Registered Users Posts: 20,592 ✭✭✭✭yourdeadwright


    Iv had it done & iv done it myself .after one date or a hook up ,

    Isit right ? of course not but you move on ,



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    #58
    Electric Gypsy
    Registered Users Posts: 240 ✭✭Electric Gypsy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121003365#Comment_121003365

    What's wrong with getting a text saying you're not for her?

    If you like her and are looking forward to your next time seeing her, then surely that period of time between when you get ghosted and when you're sure you've been ghosted, must be annoying? Let's say it's 24 hours. So after 6 hours you're 25% sure, after 12 hrs you're 50% sure, etc. Wouldn't you rather know straight away so that you can move on and plan better? Otherwise you will be in denial. Don't you ever find yourself wondering was it something you said, etc?



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    #59
    pgj2015
    Registered Users Posts: 8,978 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121011577#Comment_121011577

    I have never been ghosted when a date was planned.

    Bus a text saying you aren't for me is a rejection I don't want, a ghosting can be whatever I want it to be. she was abducted by aliens. 😉



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