Issue with strange person in Department outside of work

HeidiHeidi

Big smile and a wave every time she beeps at you from now on.

Kill her with kindness.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120831643#Comment_120831643

We’re soft that’s why. Irish people would rather avoid a confrontation by changing their whole routine in my experience.

It’s ridiculous tbh and I really don’t understand why. It’s the diametric opposite of “fighting Irish”

NewbridgeIR

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120830895#Comment_120830895

Sounds like this person has “form” so others are well aware of her behaviour. On that basis, OP unlikely to be considered a bully. Being autistic is not an excuse for acting like a jerk.

nachouser

...

I would completely and utterly ignore her. When she beeps, don't even look in her direction. Continue as if you see and hear nothing.

She is looking for your attention. Don't give it to her.

If she beeped and waved, that could be easily explained, if a little odd for someone you've never interacted with.

But beeping while staring straight ahead, is very odd.

She's messing with your head, and its working. I'd nearly guarantee, that talking to her about it, will cause it to escalate.

Flinty997

"...I was sort of warned that they were a strange individual..."

I think I would ask HR whats the story.

never_mind

I think the big smile and wave comment might be the best course of action.

You could also email the person about something random and slightly work-related and ask what the beeping about is if you don't want to confront her face-to-face. At least then it's in writing...

tringle

Bump into her at work and ask her casually if that's her you meet every morning then say the beeping really stresses the dog. Some people may not have great social skills with people but are considerate of animals.

zoobizoo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120869328#Comment_120869328

This is what I was thinking...

It's not harassment or bullying to beep at someone. If she is slightly odd, she might see the beeping as a friendly thing to do. She may have additional needs - social ones anyway.

As for the dog - maybe that's her way of conversing, albeit odd. Maybe she drove off thinking "Dang, did I really stop and say that! I'm an idiot"...

There are a lot of assumptions by posters that she's messing with your head / trying to get at you.

Spon Farmer

The beep was probably just her saying hello. Acknowledging that she knows you. I don’t understand the problem there. Happens to me and I just ignore it as I probably won’t see who it is before they are gone anyway.

Shouting out the window about the dog poop is strange though. My first thought is that she did it because she saw you with a child/teenager and so maybe used cursing thinking it would be funny to embarrass or annoy you somehow.

Next time you see her in the office just say you thought it very rude and please don’t do it again. You can also ask them to stop beeping at you but she will probably do that anyway.

EDIT: the previous poster has probably hit the nail on the head, it is what I was thinking too and my advice to say to her she was rude, etc should be ignored.

Just let her beep. When you next encounter her try some small talk.

She is probably very well aware that other call her odd - so just try being nice.

kirk.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120830979#Comment_120830979

Person sounds unhinged or maybe personality disorder

The behavior could escalate .This may be the tactic here.

As an adult I'm able to choose to ignore some nutter blowing a car horn

The DayDream

OP already has ignored this person. It didn't work. They escalated from beeping to yelling.

You've been warned about this person so her behaviour is known about. You won't be seen as the bully.

Go up to her in the office and ask her, 'What did you shout at me when you were driving past the other day?' get her to repeat it. Often when someone says something out of line, making them repeat it makes them uncomfortable. Especially considering what she said isn't exactly polite conversation. Shouting out of a car is a bit weird anyway but what she said is even weirder.

Then I would just shake my head like 'Okay, that's bizarre but whatever' and do as the other poster suggested and say that the dog gets stressed out by loud noises so if you don't mind I'd rather you not yell at your car or beep the horn when you see me out, because she's very nervous.

I think that's a good strategy to use the dog as it seems like it's not bothering YOU and you're not trying to tell her to eff off only looking out for the dog. And for her she will have to concede that only a real arsehole would be a jerk to a dog.

kirk.

Seems to be different opinions anyhow

My way of looking at it is you're feeding into it by engaging with this person

This behavior can then manifest itself in some other way when the beeping stops