Are we dating the same guy Dublin

Tea_Lover

anybody else know about this sham facebook page where apparently women can warn others about bad guys etc ?? really is this what its come too ?

i've heard some stories of women plastering guys pics and area's of where they are from and blatent lies about them , its a page only women can join and the guy can't defend himself against this , so the woman can post up anything and he can't see it as its a private group , so all ladies see is a 1 sided argument

how are these pages allowed to still exist , its dangeous i'd imagine if a woman is blatently lying

before i get jumped on , i know some women will come accross some nasty specimens aswell etc , i've been called nasty names on dating apps etc and for no reason and yep it does happen , but i forget out it and move on as life is too short , some of these women seem to love the attention and like being busy bodies with feck all going on in their lives , sort of shows why they are on these apps / pages if thats the mental capacity of them

rant over 🤣

mariaalice

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058300488/are-we-dating-the-same-guy-dublin

You have one post so that may be the reason no one is answering you, it sounds a bit peculiar, to be honest, individuals have had horrendous experiences on dating sites to the point of ending up wondering what's wrong ar they doing something wrong, blaming themselves and saying "Don't I deserved to loved" that goes for both men and woman, it must be something to do with modern society the sheer disrespect and treating people as if they are objects.

YellowLead

There’s about three different Facebook groups - two for Ireland and one for Dublin. I haven’t joined nor will I be so I don’t know what kinds of things are posted. But I think it’s a vile idea and could ruin peoples lives. Inevitably innocent men will get called out and could have their lives destroyed. Nosy me would love to have a look, sensible me does not want to support something so vile.

kittyc2018

I joined them when they were set up first and swiftly left again. The sheer level of toxicity and venom in the posts is actually quiet scary, people can post anonymously and there's no way of knowing if what they are saying is true or not. Like YellowLead said peoples lives could be ruined, its almost like a witch hunt.

I do understand people are wary when it comes to online dating due to past experiences and want to protect themselves, but I don't think pages like this are a good idea

TheValeyard

It's a lawsuit waiting to happen for whoever setup or moderates the page.

Tea_Lover

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120705781#Comment_120705781

i'm not saying there aint guys and women who are toxic and not all there etc , but to have a 1 sided story put up to possibly 1000's of women or guys and no context of what happened , you merely get that person's story the apposing person can't defend themselves , its shocking that its allowed , is there anyway to report these pages ? somebody is gonna get hurt badly and tarnished for life because of these pages

Tea_Lover

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120705828#Comment_120705828

seems nobody is and that's the issue , why can a person post without their name being posted , i mean if what a person is saying is true why not show your name , why hide

mariaalice

On a more serious note, anyone with domestic violence, stalking, or harassing criminal convictions should be required by law to state that on a dating site even a caution, that applies to both men and women.

Sleepy

Nothing new in this behaviour I'm afraid. I remember an ex girlfriend of mine finding my name with a "?" question mark in one of the women's bathroom cubicles in college with various ladies opinions on me beneath back in 1998... I'll forever be grateful for the minority of dissenting comments in the middle of the vitriol which helped convince that particular girlfriend that she wasn't going out with a complete monster.

A few years later a free web forum called "Spotted In Galway" became the next platform for "complimenting" (i.e. leering "great tits / ass") or slandering ("total bitch" / "tiny cock") of individuals anonymously. These "are we dating" Facebook groups are just the latest incarnation (from stuff I've seen on Reddit I believe this particular version has been imported from the US) and no doubt there are similar Discord groups and the like which we've not heard of.

A large percentage of women, and tbf a relatively smaller amount of men, revel in gossiping about and bad-mouthing others. It's a tale as old as time and I'm sure when they're finally shut by Facebook, a new format of the same thing will pop up pretty quickly...

newmember2

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058300488/are-we-dating-the-same-guy-dublin

its a page only women can join

eh...OK...surely you mean only FB accounts marked 'female', or are you saying Meta have a 'gender sensor' embedded in their webpages?

CPTM

It would bother me slightly but not that much. I wouldn't want anything to do with a girl who is so damaged that she actively joins and takes advice from an unmoderated Facebook page that has anonymous posts. Too many girls out there who don't even know something like that exists. Also I'd say it's fairly uncommon for a girl to blatantly lie like that for no reason at all. Again maybe girls I'd have no interest in and wouldn't be with in the first place.

DownByTheGarden

Dont know if its the same sites but I have a friend whose wife was just been sent a link to a real nasty piece of work in a group about him.

They told his wife that he was having an affair and a whole lot of women piled in on him bad mouthing him on the site. Looks like its been going on about a week or so.

His wife is very upset, as is he. I think I know who did this too. Theres a woman we both work with who is seriously into him. About a month ago he told me that she has been texting him non stop the last while. Flirty texts at first and then getting heavier and then asking him to meet her in a hotel and say he had to go on a work trip. He just sent back one word answers as he didnt know how to make her stop. He even showed me and asked how to deal with it. Sure i had no idea how to deal with it so i told him to just block her. He did and now this is happening. Im almost 100% its her but no way to prove it.

I told him today to show his wife his wife the whatsapp thread so she knows hes no reciprocating and its all one way traffic. But its very upsetting for them both.

CPTM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120706157#Comment_120706157

What proof did they provide about the affair? Like we're there screenshots of messages, or info about times when he was with someone else that she can reconcile against her own memory of him being absent or not?

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120706308#Comment_120706308

It doesn’t sound like the place where anyone demands proof because the idea seems to be to gang up and bitch.

@DownByTheGarden tell your friend and his wife to set a trap. Someone with this level of obsession and need for attention will willingly walk into it.

Tea_Lover

they don't post proof and if they do its merely snippets of the guy slagging her and not her slagging him , they put up the info that backs up their narrative

anyway they post that persons pictures up without his consent , that's illegal in itself

no moderation at all , annon posters etc

they can literally tear a persons life apart and for nothing , because of rejection or a slagging match or a disagreement ( yes i'm sure its not all lies but again no proof ) so its hearsay

DownByTheGarden

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120706308#Comment_120706308

No proof at all. It was all about this guy she was dating who turned out to be married and a creep. Heres his name and address and does anyone else have issues with him. Some screenshots of whatsapp messages. But that have his name on the screenshot but he never sent to anyone. And then a whole lot of piling on by others who basically wanted to call to his wifes house with a gang and others who wanted to castrate him. If someone sent a letter with that kind of stuff they would be going to jail i have no doubt. Well they would if they were men anyway.

Tea_Lover

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120708567#Comment_120708567

exactly

a girl i was chatting to last week has the same surname of an old school friend so when i asked was she related to him she said "NO" and proceeded to send me screenshots of him being lashed out of it on this so called facebook page ( saying he had sti's and got numerous women pregnant ) all of which could be true as he was always a little tosser , that's besides the point

his pictures were plasted up and his full name and location in dublin , i mean the poor chap probably hasnt a clue his life is being dissected online and rediculed

It's just plain wrong and Illegal

maybe people on here should search for the group and report them , if they get enough reports it might be closed down

i'm no saint and have had some un-savioury things said to women and said to me also , but i get on with it and live my life

i'd be mortified if some yoke did this to me and i'd be suing that's for sure

Sunny Disposition

Again it shows how toxic social media is.

When the video of the Navan assault went up senior politicians were talking about punishing social media companies if they didn't take such footage down promptly. None of them talked about consequences if they didn't stop such footage going up at all.

There should be consequences for Facebook for allowing this page to be established. Everyone knows that it will be used to blacken people's good name.

Tea_Lover

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120709774#Comment_120709774

nothing will be done until somebody is hurt

granted id never wanna date a woman who joins a page like this , but if enough see the tripe that's posted you might find it hard to meet somebody as your pic will be flagged on pof or diff dating apps , more than likely somebody will see your profile and then go to the group and making sure you are not getting any dates , may sound paranoid but that's whats gonna happen

just go report the pages

Sunny Disposition

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120709815#Comment_120709815

My point is I don't think anything is going to be done anyway. Social media allows you to post directly, with no moderation prior to publication, so horrendous things are put on line all the time and lives ruined. And this is so accepted that there's not even a suggestion that big tech have to be responsible for content published, no one suggests preventing the content going up unreviewed.

Tea_Lover

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120710014#Comment_120710014

yep pretty sad alright

mariaalice

Ireland is a small country eventually someone will know someone who knows someone.

form the younger people of my acquaintance.

One had a date with a guy who said he was single and had recently finished a relationship, within hours she knew someone who knows someone who knew him and knew that he had got back with his gf and was going away with her the following week radio silence when he was caught.

Someone I used to work with met this guy thought he was interesting, again someone who knew someone and within a week she has all his background info, turns out he was well known for moving in with a woman and basically living off her for a year or two then moving on to the next one, never has a place of his own.

Women are great detectives no need for a site like that in Ireland.

MrMusician18

A few things have struck me about this since I heard about these pages - seemingly they are around about 8 months, following the "tinder swindler". The first thing is that Irish internet culture is both incredibly toxic and extremely immature. Anyone seeking "tea" 🙄, really ought to have a good long hard look at themselves. Would this be tolerated if any other group were subjected to this?

The second thing is the coverage the more mainstream media has given this. The Sunday World, in its infinite wisdom effectively ran an advert for these pages last week... I don't know what to make of that to be honest.

Tea_Lover

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120710641#Comment_120710641

and if all thats true about these guys , thats normal carry on from most is it not ?? women are just as bad

still no reason for some bint to post up a mans pic and info about him

Tea_Lover

this is the lad i know , and this is what a female friend sent me , poor cnut hasnt a clue its online

i blurred his face out , but she made sure everybody saw his face on her pic

look at the vitriol aimed at him , now all the accusations are prob true or not , but its all from women , no way to defend himself

shocking

raclle

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120712925#Comment_120712925

Surely there's a way to report the group? Can the gardai not do anything about it? This is obv slander and against the law

Tea_Lover

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120713014#Comment_120713014

was thinking that myself , garda prob laugh at you tho

like this lad might be out and chatting to a genuine girl and then she might say " hey i saw you on a facebook page " imagine being mortified finding out about this

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120713014#Comment_120713014

It is only defamatory if it is untrue - but proof of truth would be required by those making the statements if a case was taken.

Tea_Lover

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120713060#Comment_120713060

but plastering his pic on facebook without his consent is illegal , also he can't put his side to the story up to defend himself

people who make these pages are oxygen thiefs imho

mariaalice

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120712902#Comment_120712902

Are you for real? No it's not normal to lie about being in a relationship and go on dates with other people, nor is it normal to serialy move in with woman and live off them and never have a place of your own.

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120713070#Comment_120713070

Oh I agree they are all awful.