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Who CAN you really trust?

  • 23-05-2023 8:47pm
    Registered Users Posts: 22,798 ✭✭✭✭

    I’m finding my sense of trust diminishing as I progress in life. Life has taught me people lie through their teeth at times, people don’t fulfil their promises. You cannot take anybody at their word.

    I’ve always known corruption to be universal, I’ve known people who have committed vile crimes against children.

    On safari, I’ve witnessed wild animals behave as they are programmed to do. They don’t go out of their way to impose more suffering than is needed to gather food. Well, except for more domesticated animals, animals over which mankind has had strong influence.

    Humans calculate their moves with malice as well as with ingenuity and altruism. I do concede that very many people act with incredible altruism, and a small cohort of people spend most of their lives being altruistic. Thinking of people like Sister Stan. Some people come to it later and dedicate themselves to being mostly altruistic.

    I’m as flawed a human as they come, but I’m interested in thoughts regarding whom you have genuinely found to be trustworthy, and why, and conversely why some people let you down.

    Nothing Known Talent Management Ltd



  • Registered Users Posts: 12,864 ✭✭✭✭cj maxx

    NO-ONE . Every fùkcer is out to feather their own nest. Look after yourself and yours but trust nobody

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  • Registered Users Posts: 22,798 ✭✭✭✭recode the site

    Nothing Known Talent Management Ltd

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,165 ✭✭✭hayrabit

    AH so answer here is Morgan Freeman

    always a good guy , #apart from when he aint

    so, going on "Morgan Freeman equation" , #ya can't always trust Morgan Freeman; thusly one can never really trust anybody 100%

    answer: No one , not even oneself should one put all their trust in.


  • Registered Users Posts: 22,798 ✭✭✭✭recode the site

    Ah, I’m going through coming to terms with MS. It’s rough out there. But I must nurture my sense of humour, I do have one!

    Nothing Known Talent Management Ltd

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  • Registered Users Posts: 20,126 ✭✭✭✭dxhound2005

    Fecebtky = Recently.

  • Registered Users Posts: 22,798 ✭✭✭✭recode the site

    I wouldn’t trust myself if I were anyone else in certain respects. Given basic respect I will bend over backward to assist. Taken for a ride, I will subsequently fly p1$$ on you. I will trouble myself greatly to explicitly point out where you have wronged me, and I won’t let it go. I’ve experienced a few very bitter moments in recent years where I believe a couple of people have deliberately set out to wrong me, or at the very least they have been so utterly thoughtless to allow it to happen and continue on. I was deceived about something a couple of years ago, untrained to this day.

    Nothing Known Talent Management Ltd

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,323 ✭✭✭Oscar_Madison

    So what you’re really saying is

    “I got to go on safari back in the day when safaris were cool and you didn’t - ha ha ha”

    Jez. Can’t even trust an AH thread these days. ☹️

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭nachouser

    I had a partner who had MS. I'm looking at a laminated "Wholefood plant based diet" card as I type. Get some sleep if you're reading this:-)

  • Registered Users Posts: 123 ✭✭Tavrin Callas

    I am heartened by the responses here. When I saw the title I thought it'd be full of responses of people listing a select few close people in their lives that they trust. Those kind of responses always make me feel like a freak for being (seemingly) the only one who can't trust anyone. So, the truth is that I'm not paranoid or delusional. Everyone really IS out to get me, just like they're out to get the rest of us too!

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,297 ✭✭✭Count Dracula

    I think you have to trust people. You trust more than you would imagine. Think about it.

    In general mortals will go out to do the best that they can for you. It is your perception of them that is qualifying your trust in them.

    If you want anything done, the way you want it done, you will have to do it yourself.

    Keep your secrets a secret. A story that more than 2 people hear is no longer a secret.

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,899 ✭✭✭suvigirl

    You can't trust anyone.

    It doesn't matter though, just treat everyone with honesty and respect and decency.

    When they let you down/do the dirty/ prove themselves dishonest/ stab you in the back, won't really matter because you will never have really trusted them anyway, deep down.

    slightly related, I myself an completely honest, ridiculously so, no one appreciates that!

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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,278 ✭✭✭brokenbad

    From personal experience - outside of your 4 walls don't trust anybody........

  • Registered Users Posts: 234 ✭✭niallpatrick

    I have to trust people, my wife and mum would never betray me. I have to trust locals I've known for over 40+years to pay me for work I do for them if I charge them, some I'll refuse payment or 'owe me it later'. I'm no fool some locals I won't touch them or their entire family for work even if we were starving. If I consider myself trustworthy or some local families so on the level you could lay brick I can take the opposite spectrum as a guide and there is no in-between. Sorta trust worthy doesn't cut it, once I fill my tool bag I get stuck in and don't stop.

    Local lovely families hell yeah I trust them and my wife and mum implicitly, friends I have none and I don't have any workmates either. In my regular full time job I work on my own.

  • Registered Users Posts: 123 ✭✭Tavrin Callas

    You can't really trust people just because they pay you. Anyone would be an idiot not to pay someone for their services as it's be just bad business not to pay, and incur bad credit. Most people, if they could get away with not paying with no consequences, they probably wouldn't bother their arse.

    Good though that you have your mum and wife though.

  • Registered Users Posts: 22,798 ✭✭✭✭recode the site

    Nothing Known Talent Management Ltd

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,553 ✭✭✭aero2k

    @recode the site I'm sorry to hear about your worsening health, and also that your life experiences have made your sense of trust diminish over time. I have also seen some terrible behaviour from other people, and suffered because work colleagues and financial institutions didn't behave with integrity, but I've also seen and benefited from staggering acts of kindness and bravery. I've benefited from people doing the right thing even when it wasn't in their own best interests, in fact they suffered because of it. I myself have experienced negative consequences for doing the right thing.

    I don't know who said "better to trust, and be miserable occasionally, than never to trust and be miserable all the time." I know you're into online dating - that requires a level of trust and vulnerability if you're going to make a connection with someone. And in some situations you've nothing to lose by trusting - eg taking a flight or having surgery. Once you're committed to either, better to trust and relax rather than being tense.

    I try to be sceptical but not cynical. Sometimes I just lower my expectations a bit and it's grand. All that said there are only a very small number of people I would trust not to let me down, or at least make a decent effort not to.

  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    Interesting I was just thinking , we are in big trouble, Ireland as much as anywhere , organisms are dying out at an alarming rate , the facts are there to see, yet humans are thriving. We are a virus and we’re killing everything

  • Registered Users Posts: 22,798 ✭✭✭✭recode the site

    It’s true that some people need consequences to do the right thing, they have no moral compass of their own. I saw a New Zealand based documentary on human personality/behaviour and it uncovered the fact that about two out of ten people are fairly dysfunctional, with half of those being narcissistic/parasitic on their fellow humans. At the other end of the spectrum are the those who would always do you a good turn, but most of us are fairly decent but imperfect and fit nearer the middle of the spectrum.

    Nothing Known Talent Management Ltd

  • Registered Users Posts: 9,591 ✭✭✭buried

    You can definitely trust a politician anyways. Well, that's what they f**kin told me, the last time they came to my door.

    "You have disgraced yourselves again" - W. B. Yeats

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,914 ✭✭✭Andrea B.

    Slightly off topic. Trust in terms of confidentiality is something that I thought about last few days.i

    As example, there is a high staff turnover over last few years at work.

    It has become quite comical, the speed at which the news of someone's departure spreads.

    They tell one "confidante", sworn to secrecy. Come back from lunch and even the company next door knows.

    People just love to own gossip.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,553 ✭✭✭aero2k

    @recode the site You mentioned "corruption" in your OP. I always used to think of that word in the sense of the term "bribery and corruption", people being paid to do bad things. More recently I've come to think of it as we use it when computer files become corrupted, and it seems that most large organisations eventually become corrupt in that they are no longer fit for their original purpose. Protecting the organisation above all becomes the priority, and that inevitably leads to a lack of trust.