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Who CAN you really trust?

[Deleted User]

I’m finding my sense of trust diminishing as I progress in life. Life has taught me people lie through their teeth at times, people don’t fulfil their promises. You cannot take anybody at their word.

I’ve always known corruption to be universal, I’ve known people who have committed vile crimes against children.

On safari, I’ve witnessed wild animals behave as they are programmed to do. They don’t go out of their way to impose more suffering than is needed to gather food. Well, except for more domesticated animals, animals over which mankind has had strong influence.

Humans calculate their moves with malice as well as with ingenuity and altruism. I do concede that very many people act with incredible altruism, and a small cohort of people spend most of their lives being altruistic. Thinking of people like Sister Stan. Some people come to it later and dedicate themselves to being mostly altruistic.

I’m as flawed a human as they come, but I’m interested in thoughts regarding whom you have genuinely found to be trustworthy, and why, and conversely why some people let you down.

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niallpatrick

I have to trust people, my wife and mum would never betray me. I have to trust locals I've known for over 40+years to pay me for work I do for them if I charge them, some I'll refuse payment or 'owe me it later'. I'm no fool some locals I won't touch them or their entire family for work even if we were starving. If I consider myself trustworthy or some local families so on the level you could lay brick I can take the opposite spectrum as a guide and there is no in-between. Sorta trust worthy doesn't cut it, once I fill my tool bag I get stuck in and don't stop.

Local lovely families hell yeah I trust them and my wife and mum implicitly, friends I have none and I don't have any workmates either. In my regular full time job I work on my own.

brokenbad

From personal experience - outside of your 4 walls don't trust anybody........

Grayson

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120633519#Comment_120633519

It's one of the things that people don't get about autism. Autistic people tend to have higher empathy. People think autistic people can't feel but they tend to feel more. It's just reading social cues or knowing how to react that can be hard. They also tend to have very strong moral compasses. Because being moral is more rational.

So where I wouldn't say that being autistic would mean an individual is automatically more trust worthy, I'd say it's statistically more likely. How much more likely, I don't know.

suvigirl

You can't trust anyone.

It doesn't matter though, just treat everyone with honesty and respect and decency.

When they let you down/do the dirty/ prove themselves dishonest/ stab you in the back, whatever......it won't really matter because you will never have really trusted them anyway, deep down.

slightly related, I myself an completely honest, ridiculously so, no one appreciates that!

Count Dracula

I think you have to trust people. You trust more than you would imagine. Think about it.

In general mortals will go out to do the best that they can for you. It is your perception of them that is qualifying your trust in them.

If you want anything done, the way you want it done, you will have to do it yourself.

Keep your secrets a secret. A story that more than 2 people hear is no longer a secret.

Tavrin Callas

I am heartened by the responses here. When I saw the title I thought it'd be full of responses of people listing a select few close people in their lives that they trust. Those kind of responses always make me feel like a freak for being (seemingly) the only one who can't trust anyone. So, the truth is that I'm not paranoid or delusional. Everyone really IS out to get me, just like they're out to get the rest of us too!

nachouser

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120633562#Comment_120633562

I had a partner who had MS. I'm looking at a laminated "Wholefood plant based diet" card as I type. Get some sleep if you're reading this:-)

BrianD3

Re: being badly let down by a hospital and losing trust in people - even though I am not sick myself, I can relate given my experience as an advocate and carer for an elderly family member. People cannot be trusted to do the fcuking jobs that they are being paid to do. Then when you complain you are met with excuses, silence and apathy. Money, money, money and vested interests protecting their positions while you suffer. Hospitals, nursing homes, homecare, GPs, public and private sectors.

I find it to be a battle and I am in the full of my health, I shudder to think what would happen to my relative if I wasn't around. When I myself reach the stage of failing health and being dependent on healthcare and other people, I won't have anyone to advocate for me so am probably fcuked. Many boardsies will be the same even if they don't realise it yet. Anytime a thread is started on here about abuse of the elderly and vulnerable and our debacle of a health service, it gets far less interest than many threads about topics that have less impact on people's lives.

I was going to start a thread here entitled "will you be scammed, abused and neglected when you are old?" and still might.

Strumms

trust your instincts, regarding people, situations, life….

19 times out of 20 you’ll be right…

you get the odd person… “ no look for the good in people, don’t look for or think the worst “… Personally the responsible thing is to be savvy to see both….

Oscar_Madison

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058297681/who-can-you-really-trust

So what you’re really saying is

“I got to go on safari back in the day when safaris were cool and you didn’t - ha ha ha”

Jez. Can’t even trust an AH thread these days. ☹️

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120633559#Comment_120633559

I wouldn’t trust myself if I were anyone else in certain respects. Given basic respect I will bend over backward to assist. Taken for a ride, I will subsequently fly p1$$ on you. I will trouble myself greatly to explicitly point out where you have wronged me, and I won’t let it go. I’ve experienced a few very bitter moments in recent years where I believe a couple of people have deliberately set out to wrong me, or at the very least they have been so utterly thoughtless to allow it to happen and continue on. I was deceived about something a couple of years ago, untrained to this day.

dxhound2005

Fecebtky = Recently.

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120633530#Comment_120633530

Ah, I’m going through coming to terms with MS. It’s rough out there. But I must nurture my sense of humour, I do have one!

hayrabit

AH so answer here is Morgan Freeman

always a good guy , #apart from when he aint

so, going on "Morgan Freeman equation" , #ya can't always trust Morgan Freeman; thusly one can never really trust anybody 100%

answer: No one , not even oneself should one put all their trust in.

☺️

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120633519#Comment_120633519

You have eaten my own thoughts.

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120633490#Comment_120633490

Yes I go through cycles every few days or a couple of weeks where I get seriously depressed, even suicidal, but I regain my composure, maybe after days of bed rest. I’m quite unwell with MS, and it really scours you mentally apart from physically. Then I get a new energy for sone days where I dust myself down and start over. Thought cycle tends to be on fast repeat these times. It used to be on slower repeat🤣 I think fast repeat might be better!

nachouser

Op, I'd say you're having a tough night. Good luck with it.

[Deleted User]

There have been a small number of people I could/can trust in the ways that matter. My parents to have always loved me, my mother (my Dad died first) to put me first & foremost above her own needs, although she could get a tiny bit frustrated occasionally. There’s one or girls from my old school who are really really solid.

My Mum’s sister was the most gentle, forgiving, loving person I have ever known, she had no flaws whatsoever. Absolutely none. She died of a stroke the following day after a very happy party in my place, just after coming home from holidays, aged 87, and having been diagnosed with severe heart failure years before. She always brought joy wherever she went. My own Dad was highly respected in his business world for his straightforward honesty. If he didn’t think a piece of engineering was suited to a company client he would typically divert to something more economical even if if meant less in his own pocket. He was greatly trusted by major clients.

I utterly respect a person’s right to be angry, offended, hurt, to self defend. Most people have their bad moments. But some folk take advantage with dubious intentions aforethought.

I have some wonderful relatives who love me and would ultimately do anything to save the day for me when it would come to that. But I am firefly independent whenever possible, I keep plodding along.

Fecebtky I’ve become aware I have prigressive MS, the emotional support from relatives and sone friends has been immense. I treasure those people. But when I was trying to seek medical help from a private hospital I was very badly let down. So I’ve very limited trust overall. Those who either live or respect me from a distance do their best to be the best they can for me. That’s magic.

BrianD3

If I think about the (small number of) people I've found to be trustworthy, honest and not manipulative, they had some of the following traits:

High intelligence with good memory

Signs of being on the autism spectrum

A frugal mindset with a high level of financial independence

Low profile, not the sort of person who would be known as a "pillar of the community" or be on the committee of a local sports club

Contrast that with normies whose words mean nothing, They duck, dive and cute hoor their way through life, splurge money on crap to make an impression, don't plan ahead, fall out with family over money, do Darkness Into light walks and make sure to get their photo taken while doing so.

RobbingBandit

No one not even myself life just keeps on bringing me down but as the old saying goes dust yourself off and start all over again. But it's getting harder to do with the fight having an endless cheat code I'm gonna fall hard enough one day that that dust will consume me.

cj maxx

NO-ONE . Every fùkcer is out to feather their own nest. Look after yourself and yours but trust nobody

Jequ0n

You can’t trust anyone. We all learn this it sooner or later, sadly.