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online dating

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    #21302
    PoisonIvyBelle
    Registered Users Posts: 1,652 ✭✭✭PoisonIvyBelle


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121933776#Comment_121933776

    Lol deja vu, this happened with my fella like 2 weeks into chatting. He nonchalantly mentioned the kid (well, adult now) as he didn't remember he hadn't, and I was there WAIT WHAT.🤣



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    #21303
    JamesBond2010
    Registered Users Posts: 2,368 ✭✭✭JamesBond2010


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121934272#Comment_121934272
    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121934120#Comment_121934120

    I was just slagging Ye all since, Ye had a great results with the dates (i couldnt find the proper scene in Ace Ventura with that music) Which was Great for ye 😎



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    #21304
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,667 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121934329#Comment_121934329

    I guess we have different ideas of what is considered a good date! :)



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    #21305
    gym_imposter
    Registered Users Posts: 528 ✭✭✭gym_imposter


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121911778#Comment_121911778

    You might still meet someone, I met my wife when I was thirty six, I'm decent looking but I've absolutely Zero sex appeal, apart from my Mrs, no woman has ever give me a first ( nevermind second) glance , you are probably devoid of sex appeal, a small minority of both sexes are but many of them eventually meet someone so you are absolutely not without hope



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    #21306
    JamesBond2010
    Registered Users Posts: 2,368 ✭✭✭JamesBond2010


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121934352#Comment_121934352

    you seemed like u had a great date & he seems like a lovely guy.



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    #21307
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,667 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121934649#Comment_121934649

    For sure. But it didn’t end with me jumping on him and dragging him into a bush for….:)



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    #21308
    Pwindedd
    Registered Users Posts: 2,215 ✭✭✭Pwindedd


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121934751#Comment_121934751

    That's fourth date territory at the earliest !! 😆



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    #21309
    Jequ0n
    Registered Users Posts: 6,038 ✭✭✭Jequ0n


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121934751#Comment_121934751

    Stop acting coy, we know you by now.



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    #21310
    Inventive User Name
    Registered Users Posts: 185 ✭✭Inventive User Name


    Don't really know where I'm going with this, but I don't speak to my therapist until Thursday so in the meantime, I'm gonna express myself here!🙈

    Basically I've been out of the dating scene for a few years due to mental health issues, but the last 2 years (& 6 months especially), I'm in a great place, and finally ready to meet someone (early 30s, looking for someone long term).

    I've gone on 4 dates with a girl this month, and she's just awesome! She's witty, kind, & so cute. Unlike a lot of the other people I've met online over the last few months, she actually seems genuinely into me, like the attraction is definitely mutual (this is coming from someone who, in the past would bend over backwards to come up with an excuse as to why a girl didn't like me).

    I feel like I'm putting forward the best, most authentic version of myself, and all signs indicate she likes me. But there's a part of me that thinks it's too good to be true. So far it's all been pretty sweet & innocent: hand holding, hugs & kissing, but she's asked me over to hers this weekend to watch a movie, & the liklihood is it's gonna lead to something more physical.

    I guess it's still part of my insecurity remaining, but there's a part of me that thinks she's "out of my league". She's objectively beautiful, while I'm a skinny, boyish, not very attractive man. I do feel I have a very good personality that I've worked hard on, & I'm often told how funny I am (we laugh a lot together).

    I dunno, I guess I'm just scared that when things get more intimate, I'll disappoint her, or she'll begin to think she can do better. But like, if she went out with me 4 times & is asking me back to hers, there's got to be something that she sees in me, right? I just struggle to see myself as sexually attractive sometimes. Like I said earlier, I think I'm a good person, good company, but is a girl this good looking really turned on by someone like me?!🙈

    I hope this doesn't read too negatively; I feel totally relaxed and confident in myself in her company, & vice versa. She goes out of her way to touch me, and makes positive comments about how I look, but I guess it's just a blind spot on my behalf.

    It'd be nice to get feedback on this, especially from the girls. Like I can see how she could be attracted to my personality, but I just find it hard to believe she's 'turned on' by me. I just don't want to mess this up cos she's awesome & i think we could be good together. Fair play to anyone who read all that nonsense!🙈😄



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    #21311
    Kimbot
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 18,436 Mod ✭✭✭✭Kimbot


    4 dates and she has now invited you to hers, she is 100% into you so dont overthink it and enjoy :)



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    #21312
    raclle
    Registered Users Posts: 2,350 ✭✭✭raclle


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121936775#Comment_121936775

    Have you been reading the thread at all? Most women don't necessarily base attraction on just looks alone. Don't let your insecurity get in the way.



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    #21313
    Inventive User Name
    Registered Users Posts: 185 ✭✭Inventive User Name


    Honestly, no I haven't!🙈 You're right, I'm much more secure in myself than ever before, just when it comes to relationships, a bit of it still remains. I'm working on it!



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    #21314
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,667 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    It all sounds very positive! And confidence is attractive ☺️She’s clearly into you. Whether it will end in something long term, none of us, nor you nor her can tell. But if it doesn’t it won’t be because there were something wrong with you or that you did something wrong.

    Definitely forget the out of your league thing - people are attracted to different things and clearly you’ve got what she likes :)



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    #21315
    Bobby_Bolivia
    Registered Users Posts: 242 ✭✭Bobby_Bolivia


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121936775#Comment_121936775

    After I lost my excess weight and got into great shape, and got myself together, I struggled at the beginning with feeling inadequate too, basically my mindset was that of my before self.

    You have to shift this idea that you aren't enough or attractive and start to believe you are. I'm telling you, having that internal confidence that you are attractive is a huge gamechanger. And clearly she thinks you are so that should be enough to give you that confidence. You could list out your qualities as you see them and what you're bringing to the table (on paper or mentally). That should give you some confidence too that you have a lot to offer a partner and you're confident in what you're offering.

    If you start to get ideas into your head that you'll disappoint someone during sex then you absolutely will. You'll be stuck in your own head rather than being present in the moment and letting desire take over.

    The only other thing I'd say from experience is that while it's good to have a north star, like a place you want to get to in the future, if you keep staring at it you'll trip along the way because you aren't looking at where you are right now. What I mean by that is that you've put a lot of mental investment into this, you're looking ahead thinking ye could be good together. I've been there. I'd just check that a touch, try to not look too far ahead and if it does go somewhere then great. But if you start loading the present with all this pressure because you want there to be a future, then often that pressure can sabotage that future you see.

    Best of luck.



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    #21316
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,667 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121937143#Comment_121937143

    Very wise. Whilst there is nothing wrong with being a little excited and hopeful, if you cling on to somebody being your only hope and envisaging your lives together it’s doomed to fail. Be a little nonchalant about the future and enjoy the moment. And don’t forget she has to be what you want as much as you do if things ever progress. Too many men get bogged down in the do anything to keep a lady mindset, despite major red flags.

    So one day at a time, eyes open, and enjoy fully - because at the moment all is good :)



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    #21317
    Goodigal
    Registered Users Posts: 455 ✭✭Goodigal


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121936804#Comment_121936804

    Definitely she wants to move things along with you. As others have said, it's all good. Be yourself, she obviously likes you 😊 Have fun!



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    #21318
    Inventive User Name
    Registered Users Posts: 185 ✭✭Inventive User Name


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121937143#Comment_121937143

    That's very helpful, thank you!



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    #21319
    Pwindedd
    Registered Users Posts: 2,215 ✭✭✭Pwindedd



    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121936775#Comment_121936775

    I don't have much more to add that hasn't already been said. But I know how hard I can be on myself at the 'getting intimate' stage. All the neuroses and insecurities come rushing to the surface. Especially when you know its iminent. She's probably got a fair few herself, no matter how beautiful you think she is.

    But once you get a bit of passion going you'll probably forget most of your worries and you'll find your flow.

    It's a fun thing to do. Enjoy it !



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    #21320
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,667 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    Things are progressing nicely my end, mild panic Sunday morning was for no reason.

    Definitely have something nice to come home too….



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    #21321
    Pwindedd
    Registered Users Posts: 2,215 ✭✭✭Pwindedd


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121939381#Comment_121939381

    Only natural to have a bit of a wobble after a great date. Shows you're excited about a new prospect.

    Delighted it's back on track !



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    #21322
    PoisonIvyBelle
    Registered Users Posts: 1,652 ✭✭✭PoisonIvyBelle


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121939381#Comment_121939381

    Something nice? Elaborate!



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    #21323
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,667 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121939529#Comment_121939529

    I just meant him 🤣



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    #21324
    ronypony
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭ronypony


    Has anyone ITT tried personality-based dating sites like boo.world or duolicious.app? OkCupid used to be the only site where I could find women I got along with. Then Match Group bought it and ruined it around 2017. I've been looking for alternatives ever since, without much luck.



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    #21325
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 13,769 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Off topic posts deleted



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    #21326
    Pwindedd
    Registered Users Posts: 2,215 ✭✭✭Pwindedd


    Ah we've missed you raclle ! What you been up to yourself. Any craic ?

    Post edited by Big Bag of Chips on


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    #21327
    raclle
    Registered Users Posts: 2,350 ✭✭✭raclle


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121947596#Comment_121947596

    Been away for my health!



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    #21328
    Pwindedd
    Registered Users Posts: 2,215 ✭✭✭Pwindedd


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121947932#Comment_121947932

    Geographically or mentally ?



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    #21329
    raclle
    Registered Users Posts: 2,350 ✭✭✭raclle


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121947979#Comment_121947979

    Geographically 



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    #21330
    Pwindedd
    Registered Users Posts: 2,215 ✭✭✭Pwindedd


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121948091#Comment_121948091

    Lovely stuff ! Got a couple of mini breaks on the horizon myself.

    Just wish it would warm up here! Hot date later - the cold and damp plays havoc with the hair !

    12 years ago on my FB memories grrrrr

    Screenshot_20240328_090256_Facebook.jpg




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    #21331
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,667 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121948485#Comment_121948485

    It’s was unseasonably windy and wet in the Canaries for me - but it did get a few hours of nice hot sunshine on my skin. And was mild generally. Can’t wait for the next one…or I’ll take a sunny Irish day! Roll on April.

    Enjoy your date later - mine is scheduled for Sunday (he has his child for a few days now). But I can’t wait - I’m glad he kept up chatting and we have a video call while I was away, no loss of momentum.



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