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In these strange times humour can help us

  • 22-09-2022 10:57PM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,225 ✭✭✭


    A English man a French man and a Irish man all die and go to hell. While there they notice a red telephone and ask the devil what it's for. The devil tells them it's to call earth.

    The English man asks him if he can call London for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil tells him the cost is a million dollars, so the English man writes him a check.

    Next, the French man calls Paris and talks for 30 minutes. When he is finished the devil tells him that the cost is 6 million dollars, and he writes him a check.

    Finally, the Irish man gets his turn, calls Dublin and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil tells him the cost is $5.00.

    The other 2 go ballistic and ask why their calls were so expensive. The devil smiles and says "Since Micheál Martin took office Ireland has gone to hell so its a local call"

    This joke should have put a smile on your face and maybe have you chuckling. If it doesn't we know where your loyalties lie.



Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,489 ✭✭✭SafeSurfer


    The funniest part. In fact the only mildly curious part of the story is that despite the protagonists in the story being English, French and Irish. The dollar is in use in hell.

    Multo autem ad rem magis pertinet quallis tibi vide aris quam allis



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,477 ✭✭✭✭Jim_Hodge


    So Hell is The US: with Dollars and Checks.



  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 43,267 CMod ✭✭✭✭ancapailldorcha


    Well, it's either that or it's a weak joke. I think it's the latter. Seems like the sort of thing that gets copied and pasted from places like Reddit.

    The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.

    Leviticus 19:34



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,273 ✭✭✭xxxxxxl


    I miss the old English man Irish man Scotsman tbh.



  • Posts: 11,642 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    A mate of mine used to own a pub in the Czech Republic. Me, a Scottish friend of mine and an English friend of mine go in and order 3 pints. He says straight back "You three walk into this pub? This has to be the start of a joke"



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,779 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Argintine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakh, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Montenegrin, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scot, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovak, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Vanticanien, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub...

     

    The doorman stops them and says “Sorry I can’t let you in without a Thai.”

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 6,663 ✭✭✭Archeron


    A dyslexic bloke walks into a bra



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,779 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    Decartes walks into a bar.

    Barman shouts at him, "Rene! You were here last night and you left without paying!"

    "No, I didn't!"

    "Yes you did - you owe me forty euro!"

    "WHAT?!I think not!"

    Poof.... he disappears...

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,054 ✭✭✭✭TheValeyard


    V

    V


    Edit: seems like the ctrl key on my keyboard is not working.

    Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 202 ✭✭setanta1000


    That was brilliant!! Haven't heard that before - reminds me of the old Python song which had the line:

    Rene Decartes was a drunken fart; "I drink therefore I am"



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,779 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



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