Neighbour tampering with my car

MissyN

My car is parked in an underground car park beneath the apartment building & for the last few weeks someone has moved the wing mirrors so that I have to adjust them every time I get into the car. Most times it’s the passenger side but today it was the drivers side & I didn’t notice til I was getting on the M50 & had to adjust it quickly to get a clear view. So a bit bloody dangerous!

i think it’s the guy next door. One night my door banged closed by mistake & he came out of his apartment & shouted giving out to me. I thought this was awful cos I’m a woman living alone & he’s a 6 foot 5 heavy man & it was intimidating. But then one day I was walking past him & I looked right at him & he looked away sheepishly which surprised me. I have a dog & I bring her out about 5 times a day so this might piss him off. I wfh & my dog never barks but it’s hard to close the door quietly.

so should I do anything or leave it be? Whoever is doing this must be quite sad & pathetic. It makes me uncomfortable but could be worse & I don’t want to aggravate the situation further. Any ideas pls?

...

Sonic the Shaghog

Any chance the parking spots are right and they are putting in your mirrors to avoid hitting them? In saying that I'd put in my own in that scenario

You could always rub a bit of Vaseline or deep heat on the underside of each mirror to give em a nice surprise

ahnowbrowncow

Are the parking spaces tight? Could someone be parking next to your car and bump into the wing mirrors when exiting/entering their car? It's easily done, especially for a larger person.

The fact that you're working from home I'm presuming you wouldn't be driving everyday and there may be more coming and going in the spaces beside your car than you realise. Leading to a higher chance that the mirrors have been accidentally bumped into before you'd notice.

I can't see why or how anyone would gain much excitement from moving a wing mirror so hopefully you're just over thinking it.

I definitely wouldn't say anything to that man otherwise it could escalate things and he may break into your house in the middle of night and steal your dog.

Moragle

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058259151/neighbour-tampering-with-my-car

Your neighbour sounds like an arsehole but you're also supposed to make sure your mirrors are working before you start driving. Is there cctv in the car park

YellowLead

The reason wing mirrors are adjustable is so they can be moved in and out of the way when spaces are tight, which public/apartment spaces often are. I don’t think anybody else should be touching your car, it is wrong - but maybe just move them in yourself going forward?

He sounds uptight - shouting because a door banged once? Why would he be annoyed you bring your dog out 5 times? It’s not in the middle of the night is it? A lot of noise carries in apartments for sure but opening and closing doors during day hours should be no bother to anyone. Barking dogs are extremely annoying but you said yours doesn’t do that.

Dial Hard

So your neighbour barked at you for letting your door bang once, and you've gone from staring him down to convincing yourself that he's messing with you by minutely adjusting your wing mirrors when you're not looking?

I mean this in the nicest possible way, OP, but is there a chance your imagination might be getting the better of you here?

MissyN

Believe me I really would like to feel that I’m over thinking it. It’s hard to explain but my car is quite old so it’s not the whole wing mirror that has been moved but the mirror itself inside the plastic casing. No one parks either side of me so wouldn’t be someone walking by.

the other reason I’m saying it could be this guy cos it only started happening when one day weeks ago he was getting into his car at the same time as me & he was looking over & he is a massive Eastern European guy & he’s intimidating big time.

im only going in & out during day time hours but the latest could be 11pm some nights & the stupid door could be a bit noisey but then I’m silent all night & really all day.

it’s just ridiculous that someone is doing this & ive to check before I start driving which I’ve never had to do before parking in all sorts of places & the car has been fine

witchgirl26

OP I think you're putting a lot on looks from your neighbour. My guess is that when he looked away sheepishly it might have been because he realised he had been out of line about having a goo about your door banging & felt a bit embarrassed. Your only other guess as to why it is him is because he was looking over when you were both getting into your cars. I used to live in an apartment with underground parking & it was so echoy in there that if anyone else was getting into their car at the same time as me, I'd end up automatically looking over at where the noise came from. Nothing malicious.

Is it annoying that the mirror is being moved? Course it is, but based on what you've said, I don't think you've anything to suggest it's your neighbour doing it. Good practice is to check your mirrors before moving off anyway & while it can be a little annoying, it's not going to add mad times to your drive so I'd just get on with it if I was you.

patmahe

Could it just be someone with a big bum carelessly hitting off your mirror as they try and get into their own car. Not saying thats ok but maybe not as malicious as you think? Or popping the mirror in/out to get around it and knocking it out of adjustment in doing so?

Other options if you believe it is malicious, ask about CCTV in the car park or if you really want to go all CSI about it put a hidden motion triggered camera in your car pointing at the mirrors, that way you'll at least know for sure whats happening.

skallywag

You mention that the plastic housing is not moved, but rather the mirror inside it. Normally you would only make such a movement from controls within the car, and if were to try to physically push the mirror inside the housing from the outside it will probably require quite a bit of force. I would imagine he will have to wrap his hand around the housing, and push the mirror with his thumbs. If you clean the mirror you should then probably clearly be able to see his thumb print on it? It will let you know at least that someone is really moving them on purpose.

By the way, if he is manipulating the mirror inside the housing (assuming he cannot actually get inside your car ...) then he could also damage them.

feelings

Jaysus, can you not just ask the man politely? Your blaming him and you haven't a clue if it is him it could be anyone. Go and ask the chap.

In relation to all the "intimidating" non sense - anyone bigger than you is intimidating? Sigh. [^^^$$$]

Allinall

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119485686#Comment_119485686

Your post is rambling nonsense.

Where did the OP say they hit his car?

What do you think they need to apologise for?

Jequ0n

Confusing thread

spurious

Are there children living i the apartment block?

Shutuplaura

I move other people's mirrors if their car is parked badly and preventing me from accessing the car....or more usually, stopping me from putting my child in the child seat. Its up to the driver of a car to ensure the mirrors are present and correct each time they drive, so blaming a neighbour for your own failure to operate your car safely is quite irresponsible.

dontmindme

It's political correctness gone mad

Allinall

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119485801#Comment_119485801

How did you come to the conclusion that the OP failed to operate their car properly?

Did you miss the bit where she said "No one parks either side of me"?

Does nobody read threads properly any more?

Cunw

Electrify your door mirrors to blast him with piss

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DoctorEdgeWild

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119485845#Comment_119485845

It would appear that nobody reads threads properly as that poster was probably referring to not knowing a mirror was adjusted correctly until getting on to a motorway.

OP - I think it's worth having a chat with the person, in a really friendly way, maybe even ask him if his door bangs closed by mistakes sometimes, and what does he do to avoid it? That way it diffuses the situation right away and gets people talking over common ground. Could very well be a total mix-up where both person is wondering why the other person doesn't like them! Best of luck.

beachhead

Old car - wind shear moves the glass,can happen at speed.Internal mountings decayed/loose/missing

Quantum Erasure

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119486021#Comment_119486021

Internal mountings decayed/loose/missing

maybe broken from someone trying to move the mirror physically

Shutuplaura

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119485845#Comment_119485845

Because they didn't notice the mirror was moved until they were on the M50. They clearly didn't check their mirrors. Otherwise they would have noticed before driving to the busiest road in the country.

KaneToad

"I wfh & my dog never barks but it’s hard to close the door quietly."

Hard, but not impossible?

cj maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119485356#Comment_119485356

Parking spaces are ridiculously narrow for todays cars so I use to fold my mirrors in to prevent damage. . When you switch them back I always had to reset the mirrors as they're always slightly off.

MissyN

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119486085#Comment_119486085

The mirror is actually quite stiff so I’m hoping it won’t break now with all the moving around. I’ll def give it a good clean so that I’ll see the finger prints when touched.

in response to feelings, you better believe this guy intimidated me. He shouted loudly through my door cursing at me late at night & I'm a woman living alone (except for my little dog). He’s a foot taller than me & about 4 foot wider than me. I’d only moved in 2 weeks prior & I shook big time.

MissyN

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119486478#Comment_119486478

I would say impossible when going out yeah. But I tip toe when going back in & close the door ridiculously gingerly.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119486861#Comment_119486861

Close the door quietly and you won’t have a problem so. Since he didn’t have reservations addressing you directly there and then it is unlikely that he’d be subtly moving mirrors around.

You don’t even know if he moved your mirrors (if anyone did) so stop baseless accusations unless you have some evidence.

feelings

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119486861#Comment_119486861

Report that abuse to the Gardai.

MissyN

Just went to get something from my car & there’s a big scratch on the wing mirror that wasn’t there before.

I’ll need to see if there are cameras in the car park cos that’s fcked up.

Sarn

It sounds more like someone is parking badly beside you, or moving something past your car that is causing the mirrors to be moved and scratched.

YellowLead

Not sure what the massive relevance is that he is a foot taller than you OP, and you are obsessed with being a ‘woman living alone’ - I’m a woman living alone but don’t see myself as feeble.

Is there a different spot you can park your car in, then whoever is moving your mirrors might be less inclined to do so?

Also, are you sure it’s not an automatic feature of your car? My friend had a car whereby the mirrors would automatically move back once the car was parked, until she turned the feature off - I think a number of modern cars have it!

Get Real

You think he might be doing it but haven't seen him do it?

And he deliberately adjusts the glass part of your mirror...ever so slightly so as not to be immediately noticeable, but enough that it's potentially dangerous.

As for him having a word with you, in what way did he? Neighbours have always said things or bickered. "jaysus will you go easy on your front door" or "keep the fcking music down" or "will you ever shut your bloody dog up". Were they words to this effect?

I had an old Cleo that the glass used to change on the mirrors if the mirrors themselves were moved. Or if door slammed too abruptly. Or going over a speed ramp.

Op. Take stock and reflect. Do not build this into some type of obsession to the point where you start seeking other signs. It'll be confirmation bias. It'll get to the point where you step in dog poo someday and you'll have convinced yourself it was him that knew you were going to take that route and placed it there.

ManOfMystery

Get a cheap dashcam, many of them have a stationary mode to record even when the car is off in case of parking incidents. That will capture anyone approaching your car and then you'll have your answer, esp if you angle it towards the driver or passenger side when you get out.

cj maxx

As Yellow Lead mentioned its often an automatic thing when you switch off the car. I turned that feature off in mine as it always left my mirrors slightly off

notAMember

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119487474#Comment_119487474

Of course it’s easy to be intimidated by an enormous heavy aggressive shouting and roaring stranger when you are much smaller physically. Why dismiss that? If it is him, she doesn’t know him at all, what’s to say this isn’t a pattern of aggression that escalates into violence? It’s not like no man has ever raped or murdered a woman over something completely trivial.

Also, the OP has stated it’s an older car and it’s not the housing like you’re talking about, it’s the glass inside only. It’s not automatic. She’s not imagining it.

OP, checking for cctv and contacting building management about the damage is the correct course of action. Do not engage with anyone to accuse them, you don’t know anyone in this building and it may not be this person who shouted at you. Get your facts first.

salmocab

Slightly moving mirrors just enough to not notice until you are in the m50 doesn’t sound like the work of a large aggressive man. This sounds like a case of deciding you don’t like someone and looking for something to blame him on.

Bipass

you would need cctv to prove it. mirrors might be old and degrading also

Jequ0n

@notAMember Do you want him to sit down next time he raises his voice? Would that be less intimidating?

Both the OP and you are dramatising a simple verbal encounter by creating hypothetical scenarios. I don’t think it’s helpful to make the OP even more agitated than she already is, considering that nothing bad has happened.

notAMember

I’d want him to not shout at neighbours full stop. Over a door closing?

Odd you’d think it isn’t prudent to be careful with her safety and avoid confrontation with large aggressive strangers.

walterking

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119485356#Comment_119485356

Try it

Very very easy to push the mirror out of synch.

Yes, I reckon it's the neighbor being a petty minded fucwit.

Put a small sign saying - "please smile for the CCTV"

DoctorEdgeWild

Jeez, how did this thread go to rape and murder? Crazy.

OP - Almost every situation can be diffused with talk, just basic chat, nothing accusing, nothing weird. Next time you are passing in the hall, ask for help lifting something, or ask if they know any nice restaurants, anything at all that cuts through the nonsense and helps both people see the other as a human, not a threat or an annoyance. It really can be as simple as that.

chicorytip

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058259151/neighbour-tampering-with-my-car

I'm not sure it's possible to move the glass portion of the mirror other than from within the vehicle unless the glass is loose and has become slightly detached from the housing. So, even if this neighbour intended doing so he may not be able to. Check both mirrors for faults or damage.

Is the parking in your block designated i.e a particular spot corresponding with each apartment number? If not and if there are any vacant or unused spaces available park in one for a while and see what transpires.

Graces7

OP I sympathise. Please take care. You are right to be alert and aware. And yes maybe a word with the Gardai.

John Mason

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119483933#Comment_119483933

So I have an old car and the mirror moves by itself all the time, i just make sure it is correct before I go anywhere.

Major over reaction from you

dontmindme

Keep an eye on your mirrors position wherever you park - overnight, when out during the day, etc. Have you confirmed that they've only moved after parking overnight in this underground car park?

Henry Ford III

Get evidence OP. Without that you can do nothing.

Hannibal_Smith

Mod note

Given the OP hasn't been back in over a month, I'll close this one off.