Do you look or look away?

Minier81

Unfortunately alot of the nonsense being spouted here is why so few babies in Ireland are breastfed. The only way to solve this part of the problem to normalise it.

FishOnABike

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119466659#Comment_119466659

and do you go off and hide somewhere in shame when you are eating? 🙄

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119466553#Comment_119466553

Andrew.. nowhere in any of my posts.. did I say that mothers should do that. Care to provide a direct quote of me stating that?

You won't find it. Which, as I said, is true to form with you. You really do like making **** up to score points.

xhomelezz

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119466523#Comment_119466523

Ireland and it's best even for AH forum.

fryup

sometimes its hard to look away....(1.40) 😉

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCer49nEfpY

AndrewJRenko

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119467221#Comment_119467221

You said “most mothers will go to a bathroom “. Where did you get this from? Would you like to eat your lunch in a public bathroom?

Furze99

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119466649#Comment_119466649

Yep, now you have it. Takes a while to sink in. You adapt or I guess if you still don't care for the situation, go elsewhere.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119467866#Comment_119467866

It's obvious where I got this from. The lack of mothers breastfeeding in public areas, considering there's roughly 50k babies being born each year in Ireland. Breastfeeding in public is still not a common sight.. so it's obvious that these mothers are performing the action elsewhere. (I also asked a few female friends/family members what they did... and that's exactly what they did. ie. go to the bathroom or private area)

Would you like to eat your lunch in a public bathroom?

You're doing it again. I didn't object to breastfeeding in public. I didn't criticise it. I didn't suggest that women should or must do the breastfeeding in toilets or non-public areas.

Should I keep going with what I didn't say so that you stop seeking an argument over what I didn't say, as opposed to the position I did take (through a discussion with another two posters, which you've taken completely out of context, and misrepresented).

85603

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119466958#Comment_119466958

do you clip your toes at the table? 🙄

for right or wrong we have social norms, and they're not always reduceable by simple rationality.

if they were then we could say that eating is similar to breastfeeding as there are certain shared aspects, and that breastfeeding is in certain aspects similar to vomiting, therefore vomiting and eating are equal, and therefore its perfectly normal to just blow chunks into a bag at the table.

a bikini, or a mankini, covers the genitals perfectly, and doesn't affect work performance in either direction. therefore rationally a bikini is perfectly good attire for the quarterly meeting with management. A gimp suit covers even more if anything, so is perfectly good for a courtroom.

no, we have certain ways which we're accustomed to, and comfortable with. they might not be reduceable to binary logic but it doesn't matter, the public have them as default, and if you want to interrupt them (rightly or wrongly) then people are going to gawk, and film and talk.

now if you're rosa parks or gandhi addressing injustice then thats one thing, but i dont think thats the case here.

i think its more likely another case of modern female entitlement. Anything feminine is forgivable and sacred. The room adjusts, society adjusts. Because women are delicate and precious. Also they're equal too. Well, equal but with advantages. More equal. Equal for the good bits.

Like car insurance and industry quotas and social welfare rights and divorce settlements. Equal for that. But getting up off my hole and taking responsibility for maternal duties such as breastfeeding, no, suddenly helpless. Can't move. Everyone else move.

I can have a child but I can't be responsible for planning out contingencies for breastfeeding. Its some elses problem.

85603

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119467889#Comment_119467889

Is this the case in a restaurant too? I have to either get up or just ignore it?

FishOnABike

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119468752#Comment_119468752

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119468768#Comment_119468768

I don't clip my toenails at the table. I eat and drink at the table, at home, in a café or restaurant, as did my wife and children, including when they were babies being breastfed.

You're catching on. It is up to you to adapt. A nursing mother's right to breastfeed is protected in Irish law https://www.friendsofbreastfeeding.ie/breastfeeding-in-public/ If somone has hangups about it's their problem, not the mother's or baby's.

anewme

You'd have to wonder how some people here actually managed to meander their way through life.

Things like that a woman should respect men by not breastfeeding, it is the same as clipping your nails, shyting on the ground, or scratching your ass!.

I'd say they are all mouth and no trousers - if they went to a Restaurant and there was a woman breastfeeding, they would sit there terrified and complain after on Boards.

Furze99

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119468768#Comment_119468768

Yep, you have it. It's not a great imposition. I suppose you can avoid by choosing suitable eateries and boozers.

85603

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119469498#Comment_119469498

correction - should respect others, not just men. you know, other people. why are you imposing yourself on them like this?

is it because its natural? and wonderful? well other people still don't want to see it or know about it. have some respect go find privacy.

85603

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119469541#Comment_119469541

not just me.

we all can adapt. everyone adapt to women. women shouldn't have to do anything.

85603

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119469256#Comment_119469256

If you want to be like that then I'll take out my phone and film you. Public area.

I wonder why that poster keeps neglecting that it's about feeding a hungry baby. It's not about the mother, it's about the baby. The thing about female entitlement is bizarre, because again, it's about the baby - not the woman. If breastfeeding had to be done by the father, it would be the same situation. Sometimes doing so in public is the only option. Nobody has to leave, just not look. In return, the mother can use something to cover the baby's head... which she usually does.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119469731#Comment_119469731

I wonder why that poster keeps neglecting that it's about feeding a hungry baby. It's not about the mother,

Actually, most of the objections have nothing to do with the baby or the feeding of the baby itself. It's with the public display of a woman's breasts. Hence all the idiotic/childish crude comments earlier in the thread, and then, all the subsequent claims that none of it could be sexualised.

However, the last time I saw a woman breastfeeding, she didn't do it subtly, and both before/after she let herself hang pretty exposed. Her breasts, that is.. not the baby. I think that's the general focus here.. the display of nudity, rather than the act of breastfeeding itself. There's been a lot of effort by posters to push the attention away from that display, and instead focus on the act of breastfeeding, to show how those who don't immediately accept it, are unreasonable or some kind of creeps.

And to repeat, as I guess some posters will take this as my position. It's not. I couldn't care less that a woman breastfeeds her child in public. Doesn't bother me even slightly. I'm simply interested in understanding the perspectives of those who are uncomfortable with it happening in front of them. We've had decades of social conditioning resulting in many people being uncomfortable with public displays of nudity, which would include breastfeeding in some cases.. There seems to be this attitude that we can snap our fingers and all that conditioning will instantly disappear, and that anyone who doesn't conform must be unreasonable.. and yet, public breastfeeding still isn't the norm. Hence, I would guess, the reason the OP made their original remarks..

Nobody has to leave, just not look.

If breastfeeding is not a big deal, and should be accepted in society, then so too is looking not a big deal, and shouldn't be considered something to be uncomfortable over. You can't have it both ways.

85603

Because its a baby, not a hollywood timebomb scene.

You have time to get up, and allow others to enjoy their meal without the distraction of your lactating, as we do for many other bodily needs/private moments. So be gracious about it.

Go look at the shirtless men discussion if you still don't get it.

Wishbone Ash

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119466122#Comment_119466122

The Evening Press reported that the Nolan's has said that Frank was very sweet - "Every time we looked over at him, he was smiling and w@anking".

Musefan

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119467961#Comment_119467961

The lack of mothers breastfeeding in public areas is not because they are hidden away in private, it is because it is uncommon. Largely due to factors such as there being a stigma attached to feeding in public and poor support for breastfeeding. By 12 weeks old, only 31 percent of mothers will be breastfeeding. By 6 months, only 6 percent. I have used a number of breastfeeding rooms. On the busiest day in blanchardstown shopping centre, when the place is packed with families, I have more often than not been the only person using the breastfeeding room. There are no secret hives of women hiding away feeding their babies in bathrooms. It is well reported that Ireland has some of the lowest rates of breastfeeding. It is a costly activity both in terms of time (more frequent feedings, more overnight feedings, usual feeding session circa 40 minutes 8-12 times per day). The hours taken to breastfeed in one year is just shy of being equivalent to a 37 hour work week. Whether you sexualise it, trivialise it, or stigmatise it, the right to feed an infant when they need to be fed is a protected right. Unhelpful attitudes only serve to deter people from breastfeeding, or to continue breastfeeding. Unfortunately, this has a disproportionate impact on the worst off in society, who would benefit from the health and financial rewards of breastfeeding most.

I don't mind someone feeling uncomfortable with a woman leaving her boobs hang out when breastfeeding - I certainly don't think people should be insulted for feeling that way. I'd find it a bit awkward too. "They're just breasts" is disingenuous. In this culture, we're - rightly or wrongly - used to breasts being exposed in very different contexts, and we can't just switch that off.

However (and I know you're not saying this, Klaz) - if a woman needs to breastfeed her hungry baby in a restaurant, cafe or on public transport (I can't think of other places where it might happen) because there's nowhere else to go, and uses something to cover the baby's head, this is not "female privilege" or comparable to one scratching one's arse or balls, or inconsiderate, or something that puts out other patrons significantly (lots don't care - even if her nipple accidentally slips out for a split second).

OU812

There’s some creepy ass dudes in this thread.

Have he not looked at your own chests lads? There’s nipples on that too. Even seen a few guys walking around with bigger boobs than some women. Do they turn ye on too?

Grow up the lot of ye.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119469833#Comment_119469833

Go where? There isn't always somewhere else to go.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119469634#Comment_119469634

Wonderful? I dunno. Not always hugely enjoyable for the mother. But anyway, no it's not because it's natural or wonderful - it's because the baby has to be fed.

85603

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119469914#Comment_119469914

It all depends on the context you're picturing.

And this applies to your other post above too, the one where you cherry picked and strawmanned.

85603

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119469921#Comment_119469921

Then get up, leave the room, and feed it.

If the option to leave isn't there then fine. Don't know how as an adult you managed to not plan for this, but OK, whatever.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119469637#Comment_119469637

Who said that woman should not have to adapt to anything?

Pawwed Rig

I saw a woman breast feeding in a restaurant today. No one said anything to her and everyone went about their business.

Am I doing it wrong?

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119469849#Comment_119469849

The lack of mothers breastfeeding in public areas is not because they are hidden away in private, it is because it is uncommon. 

Which is what I said earlier. It is uncommon. I did not say that they were hidden away in bathrooms. That was the attempt by others to make my comments sound unreasonable. I said that, based on those I'd spoken to, they used bathrooms or private areas to breastfeed. I didn't make any claim beyond that.

Whether you sexualise it, trivialise it, or stigmatise it, the right to feed an infant when they need to be fed is a protected right.

I can't recall anyone disputing that right on the thread. Do you?

As for sexualise it, I haven't. Not the act of breastfeeding but the display of nudity associated with the act, which connects to the conditioning many in society have received about said nudity. I haven't even suggested anything trivial about breastfeeding, nor have I said anything to stigmatise it.

This keeps happening on this thread. It's like the very idea that someone might not immediately accept your positions, requires you to jump to positions that weren't suggested (except by those so in favour of breastfeeding in public).

In any case, I'm done. I wanted to discuss why people were uncomfortable with breastfeeding in public, and instead, I keep getting hit with positions I didn't state, or arguments unrelated to me while quoting me.