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Partner watching porn

  • 03-08-2022 7:30pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 1,427 ✭✭✭ Pissy Missy


    Watching coronation street at the moment and Sally wants to take a break from Tim because she found out he was watching porn, what would you do if you found out your partner was watching porn? My ex used to watch it but I think I just got used to it but initially I was put off by the fact he was into it while in a relationship with me, as if I wasn't enough. What are your thoughts?



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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 200 ✭✭ Miadhc


    Coomers assemble.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 728 ✭✭✭ Brid Hegarty


    Well I'm glad you're finally asking an honest question. Why wouldn't we buy into it? It's quite likely true. Are you implying he's making it up?



  • Registered Users Posts: 11,978 ✭✭✭✭ Potential-Monke


    As long as it doesn't affect the relationship, there's zero harm. What they're googling may be worth a look, but I'd urge you to ensure you know the top 10 porn searches before jumping the gun (Hentai took top spot last year!).



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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,524 ✭✭✭ Jequ0n


    I agree that I’d be far more interested in the genre of porn that was being favoured.



  • Registered Users Posts: 829 ✭✭✭ Real Donald Trump




  • Registered Users Posts: 6,296 ✭✭✭ DubInMeath


    You and Baywatch would be perfect for each other

    As for the OP's question it isn't a deal breaker for either of us, OP but understand that you might feel differently.



  • Registered Users Posts: 1,262 ✭✭✭ Gant21


    It was Turkish mickeys last week, now coronation street mickeys. Op mickeys are giving you problems.



  • Registered Users Posts: 11,338 ✭✭✭✭ Hello 2D Person Below


    Everyone with internet access watches porn.

    The real question is, how many Boardsies watch it with their partner?



  • Registered Users Posts: 278 ✭✭ gary550


    I'm with tim on this one, I'd rather watch porn than f*ck sally.

    would I watch porn in a relationship? no idea. If my missus was letting me give her the best 2 minutes of her life 5 times a week probably not.

    Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet. -BM



  • Registered Users Posts: 10,621 ✭✭✭✭ Leg End Reject


    Does anyone with access to the internet not watch porn?

    Porn can be watched with a partner to rev the engines, solo for "self care", or to indulge in fantasies you have no interest in experiencing.

    It wouldn't be something that would bother me, although I'd be curious in seeing what piqued a partner's interest.



  • Registered Users Posts: 7,767 ✭✭✭ riclad


    Men watch porn, women watch porn. Also you might watch porn cos you like a porn star or you like lesbian porn, just cos someone watchs porn does not mean they don't love you or care about their partner. Porn is not an emotional thing, it's like women watch love Island or reality TV. Everything in moderation, if it's at the point where its effecting your relationship in a bad way or making you not want to have sex with your partner then it's a problem. Also some couples watch porn together. Young people are not used to having acess to porn free anytime all you need is a smartphone is say probably 90 per cent of people under 60 watch porn , this is not the 90s when you actually had to go to a sex shop to buy dvds or magazines . If a woman thinks her bf does not watch it, she's naive or innocent or she's has no idea of how men think

    2 weeks ago there was a letter to Newstalk I'm an adult Podcast, from a man, he said I watch porn 4 times a day and **** , is it too much, its at the point where I don't want to go out with drinks with friends. Am I addicted to porn do I have a problem , he works from home for a tech company. He probably does it during work hours. He had a girlfriend a year ago and split up with her

    Is not cheating to watch porn. Of course if your bf watchs porn rather than have sex with you it's a problem. It's like smoking or drinking to excess it can have negative effects on a relationship if its taken too far,

    Badically 90 per cent of humans watch porn , if they have easy acess to it, on phones or laptops

    Porn is like a fantasy it's should not effect a relationship for most people I think gen z got most of their sex education thru watching porn whether that's a good thing is another topic porn allows people to see their fantasy

    the average person will probably never be in a threesome with 2 beautiful women who are ready to try anything for example

    If every woman split up if they caught thier bf watching porn 90 per cent of people would be single , I heard a female celeb on a comedy interview podcast randomly say go to website X if you want to watch good porn it's free


    Men watch porn it's like women watching reality TV or a soap it should not big deal unless it's having a negative effect on your relationship

    Post edited by riclad on


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,208 ✭✭✭ taxAHcruel


    I would slightly change the sentence "Is not cheating to watch porn.". I would say that it is not _ automatically _ cheating to watch porn. But the actual boundaries in each relationship can only be set within that relationship. And if someone clearly indicates that porn is a boundary than indeed watching porn is cheating.

    So to answer the OP about what to do if you "catch" your partner watching porn - the question would be have you already informed said partner that porn is an issue for you? If not - then you should inform them of this upon catching them. If yes - then they have "cheated" on the boundaries of your relationship and only you can decide what to do with that.

    What I would say is that the "It's like I am not enough for him/her" thinking is not generally a safe way to think. Porn often serves different impulses or immediate impulses. Even in the most fulfilling and exciting sexual relationship therefore - a person may still engage with porn. Just like you could live with the best chef in the world who is constantly making you wonderful meals and you still might find yourself craving a McDonalds once in awhile.

    In the end - as with most things in relationships - communication is key. Have to say that I am a guy who gets absolutely no titillation from watching porn alone. If I watch it I watch it only with my partners - and we generally subscribe to and pay for our porn rather than watch anything "free" on the usual porn websites.



  • Registered Users Posts: 7,815 ✭✭✭ Stone Deaf 4evr


    In the interest of clarification, when people say 'watch porn', I assume they mean that they're mastubating as part of watching?

    because if they're not, and just looking at it in the same way you'd casually watch a sitcom or something, then yes, I would consider it very odd.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 519 ✭✭✭ Turquoise Hexagon Sun


    Men are so visual we can be mildly turned on by multiple women we see on the street per day. Being in a relationship may temper that temporarily but not really. If I was a woman and my BF or husband wasn't watching porn, I'd be worried.

    No woman is so special that they're going to undo 100's of thousands if not millions of years of biological evolution. Marriage and monogamy are relatively new things introduced into the human race and society. In many ways they're antithetical to men's biological urge to pro-create and potentially with many different partners. But, we live in a civilized society. We know children are best raised by two parents. We know non-monogamy hurts our partners.

    Porn, although not perfect and can be detrimental if consumed too much is preferable to non-monogamy and acting on urges to have sex with many different women.

    Why do people think that the most beautiful and highly sought-after women in the world still get cheated on? Because men, no matter who you are, still want other women. Some men will act on that and cheat. Others will withdraw into the fantasy world of porn.



  • Registered Users Posts: 307 ✭✭ NedsNotDead




  • Registered Users Posts: 14,937 ✭✭✭✭ Grayson


    There was a prospective study in a university a while back where they wanted to compare attitudes between people who watch porn and those that have never seen it. The problem was that they couldn't find any me who had never watched porn.


    I actually wrote a paper on the history of porn (It was based on marketing and innovation). Every time any new technology comes out, people find a way to use it to view naked pictures of people. And they're very quick in finding a way to do it.



  • Registered Users Posts: 494 ✭✭ Ekerot


    I haven't watched porn in well over 10+ years now. I'm not really sure what happened, just one day in the midst of puberty (16) I thought "How long have I've been at this?" and realized probably when I was 6.

    I abstained from both porn and **** for a year (no easy feat) just to try and beat the habit (lol), and I did. Not sure ho

    I feel better without it in my life though - can't say most of the women I've been with weren't chaste about the subject. They consumed vast quantities more than I ever did.



  • Registered Users Posts: 548 ✭✭✭ CGI_Livia_Soprano


    You started watching pornography at 6?

    Disclaimer: If you reply to any of my posts with absurd hypothetical scenarios, lame "gotchas," or speculating that I don't really believe what I am saying, I'm not gonna bother my hole replying. Thanks.

    “Part of the reason Bezos and Musk are pursuing space travel is for resource mining on the moon and throughout the solar system. Once thats accomplished , important resources become abundant again, facilitating many more centuries of growth.” - boards.ie user Cognitive Dissident, 26/06/2022

    #bekind



  • Registered Users Posts: 1,039 ✭✭✭ pauliebdub


    That Sally character has had so many affairs and men on the go over the years that its a bit rich of her to get a hump over current boyfriend watching porn.



  • Registered Users Posts: 494 ✭✭ Ekerot


    I did yeah, mind you it was the premium adult channels on sky, but porn all the same.



  • Registered Users Posts: 813 ✭✭✭ bad2thebone


    My girlfriend watches porn, she's facinated by the female to male pornstars. She's a latent lesbian as she describes herself, bi I suppose in a better sense of the word . She even has a few favorite female to male pornstars.

    But I have no issues with it, none of my business really what she does as I have no ownership of her down time or any time for that matter. We share time together and we're quite conservative in values in most ways but it's no big deal. If I'm not around and she's feeling like an aul indulgence, it's her right and she's not harming anyone. Nor is she creating any imbalance in my sense of security in the relationship.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,014 ✭✭✭ Greyfox


    I think asking a man to never look at porn would be like asking a man to travel to the moon on a bicycle.

    I look at porn 3 or 4 times a week, every now and then I feel the urge to look at it more and when this happens I know I need to avoid it for a while. If I look at any more it's 100% guaranteed to have an effect on my sex life.



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