6 weeks dating and woman says she want to try for a baby

jjnew

Hi, I'm 38 and met a 34 year old woman on Tinder 6 weeks ago. The other morning she said something I think is strange. She said she wanted to try for a baby in 8 months time. She said she was open to having the baby with me but said it doesn't have to be me but that she definitely wants to try for a baby in 8 months time. She said the timing suits her work.

I only know her 6 weeks. What do people think of her statement?

is_that_so

Age is clearly a factor here but unless you're of the same general frame of mind it might be best to move on. If you are then start talking about it. She seems clear about it.

notAMember

I think she is being open and transparent with you on her future plans.

Dial Hard

Have you even actually been on a date yet?

Edit: Actually, it doesn't even matter. I'd be noping out of there either way. It sounds like she has her mind made up and she's looking for a sperm donor rather than a partner. More power to her for knowing what she wants and when she wants it, but I'm not sure she's going about it the right way.

Igotadose

Run away.

SVI40

Just be aware, if you do have a child with her, you will be liable to support that child for at least 18 years! Seems very early at only dating 6 weeks to bring that up.

mojesius

As above, if that's her choice, that's her choice. You need to decide if you want to stick around and get to know her or if it's a bit much for you and you need to cut ties. As a woman, I find it odd that she's put this specific timeframe on things because of work (babies and children will impact career no matter what stage you're at or what age they are) but she's clearly made a plan for herself.

I'd be wary of having a baby with anyone I knew less than a year (going by the above timeframe). Anecdotally, most couples I know who had a baby within a year of meeting each other eventually broke up (with a few exceptions).

jjnew

It is very soon to say such a thing. And then for her to have specific timeframe seems strange.

She said it would suit with maternity leave

SuperBowserWorld

Sounds more like a project than a relationship. What happens if you conceive in 7 or 9 months time. Will you be fined ?

thefallingman

It’s a clear message to you, are you interested yes or no.

SuperBowserWorld

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119369341#Comment_119369341

True, no beating around the bush here. 😂

hawley

She's probably timing it to coincide with summer holidays. Maternity leave ending at end of June, then summer holidays then take sick leave or some unpaid leave. Means that you can get almost a full year at home with the baby.

Is she a teacher?

jjnew

No not a teacher. Just the timing suits her, she said.

So people.think what she said is strange given that we only met online 6 weeks ago?

wildwillow

Her inner clock is ticking and she doesn't want to waste time. A baby is a responsibility financially for at least 18 years and even if you have no part in it's life, she may still want a financial input from you.

She is open and honest about her plans. Can't fault her for that. Having a baby is no foundation for a relationship though.

I hope she doesn't believe that she will actually be able to concieve exactly when she wants, particuarly at her age. She could be lucky but could also wait months or even years to concieve. Thirty four is considered almost geriatric in the maternity world.

piplip87

Bring and put on your own condoms for any sexual activity between now and then. Make sure not to leave them unattended.

Big Bag of Chips

Why are you asking if people think it's strange? It's irrelevant what we think. Do you think it's strange?

Can I ask if you've posted about this before? The situation seems familiar, with some minor change to details.

Count Dracula

She seems very forward and a bit systematic. After a few rides she is considering having a child with you .... please do not go there?

Start a family with a partner that you really care for and want to develop your life and grow with. Having kids with strangers is a bad idea, especially for the child. Even when that child is born you will still be getting to know this woman, you are asking for a disaster to happen.

If you like her, ask her to cool the chops for a while and try to get to know her. Try spending hard time with her via a holiday or even moving in together for a while. I do think you also need to examine how her value system works and how she values you as a partner? The fact that she has brought this up after six weeks is slightly alarming. Thread carefully here, she could well be a complete psycho who has zero empathy and just wants a baby, it sounds terrifying for all involved.

I have no issues with women having children on their own if they so wish, If you knew her for longer I could fathom it, but the fact that she has shared this with you at this stage is iffy to say the least. Forcing such an issue on your only kindling relationship sounds very off.

cj maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119369306#Comment_119369306

Exactly. SHE has mind made up to have a baby, not necessarily she wants YOUR baby or to even discuss having a baby together and actually taking on board your opinion. Wish her good luck and get the hell out of there.

clobber

all things equal in relatively similar relationships

RUN

Run a mile

That's it. Pointless asking us to measure feelings emotions and all that

Stephen_Maturin

Run a mile

amdublin

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119369395#Comment_119369395

What do you think?

For Forks Sake

Run.

Run some more.

When you get there, run further

Everlong1

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119369395#Comment_119369395

No offence, but to my mind the most bizarre thing about this is that you need to ask if it's strange in the first place.

Furze99

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119369341#Comment_119369341

She is being very clear. She doesn't want chaps wasting her time. So you gotta decide whether you're likely to be into each other/ compatible etc and either get on with it or get lost.

HazeDoll

If a woman wants a baby there are ways to do it without involving a romantic partner. She could use a sperm donor. Nice and tidy, no messy relationships to get in the way of enjoying motherhood.

She has chosen to have this conversation with a chap she has known for six weeks. How many hours have you spent in each other's company in those six weeks? How well do you really know her? She is willing to tie the two of you together for life but she hardly knows you! Her rush to get the job done because she's planning around holiday leave suggests she hasn't thought it through at all. Kids are an unpredictable, expensive inconvenience for twenty years, one year's holiday leave is nothing!

After six weeks, suggesting you're making plans to have kids at some point in the medium-to-long-term future is a intense. She's talking about getting pregnant in a few months!

Some are saying she's being upfront and honest. It has a whiff of crazy off it though. If this sort of eccentricity is raising its head after six weeks then there is likely to be more crazy under the surface.

It's very very odd behaviour. Not quirky. Not empowered and forthright. Very very odd.

If you're getting out do it cleanly, before she 'accidentally' gets pregnant.

jjnew

Thanks

clobber

If the shoe was on the other foot and the guy asked about a family, alarm bells would be ringing, heads would turn and it would sure be a deal breaker

Jequ0n

Use condoms that you bought yourself and brought along on the day.

This isn’t a relationship discussion she started but a business deal. You will regret going along with this.

Pauliedragon

OP that's a fairly big red flag to me. As posted above it looks like it's a donor she's after. She is getting to that age where pregnancy can get difficult but how would you feel about getting a woman you barely know pregnant? Is fatherhood on the horizon for you with her? If not it's probably best you end things now and let her find someone else.

YellowLead

You couldn’t get a flag redder than this. Let some other mug take this one.

At least she’s being honest, not hiding the crazy, and not trying to trap you - just seeing if you are also mental enough to go along with this.